She’d told him to fuck off. She’d quit. And the day he called her to explain himself, he’d been a bigger ass than he had the day she proposed.
She came out from behind the desk and smoothed her hands over her dress. She looked so soft and touchable, and he wanted to touch her. Touch her and reassure her that he didn’t mean any of what he said last week, except the part about wanting her to come back.
“Unless you’ve changed your mind since last week, I would like to resume my position as your executive assistant,” she said, her mouth firm. “Maybe in the future I can find another position within ThomKnox, but for now, if you’ll agree, I can work with you until you find my replacement.”
He didn’t want a replacement. At this desk or by his side.
“The point is,” she continued, as beautiful and brave as he’d ever seen her, “I can’t leave the best job I’ve ever had. Or the best family I’ve ever worked for. Are you willing to forget everything that happened and move on?”
Absolutely not. He didn’t want to forget it. He wanted to revel in it.
After he’d spoken to Jayson after dinner, Bran had lain in the guest bedroom of his parents’ house, wide awake. Anger, frustration and guilt took turns throwing punches until he gave up on sleep and climbed out of bed. He went back outside to sit in the same spot he was in before, but this time, stars dotted the dark sky and the twisting grapevines were gnarled fingers reaching from the ground.
What was he afraid of?
Addison had handed over her heart, so bold, and he’d been a total pussy. And he’d continued trying to stuff her into the limited space he’d reserved for their relationship when they expanded far past it. The sex was fun but it was also so much more. They’d laid out their hearts and dreams to each other. Addi was right when she accused him of making promises with his body. He had.
He’d sat on that patch of grass until the sun rose over the vineyards the next morning. Only then did he stumble inside and make coffee, greeting his siblings and parents with a hazy “good morning.” The conclusion he’d come to in those hours alone made him sick and hopeful at the same time.
He’d fallen in love with Addison Abrams, and he hadn’t even known it.
He’d decided a long time ago what love looked like but nothing in his immediate world matched the picture in his head. He’d never imagined being proposed to, assuming he’d be the one down on one knee. He’d be the one delivering the big speech and the profession of love.
Addison had ripped the rug from under his feet and he’d fallen on his ass. When she asked him to marry her, he wasn’t ready. And what really threw him off was that if she hadn’t asked, he might never have been ready. If she’d let them continue to be the underdeveloped version of themselves, they could have gone on the way they were for months. Years. What a loss that would have been.
As hard as he’d fought against planning anything in life, he’d done it anyway. Not making a decision was a decision. Not having a goal was, in its own way, a goal. Declaring that him and Addison were one thing meant they couldn’t be more.
“I had a great time with you, Brannon.” Her voice was small, tender. Her eyes weren’t tear-filled, but they reflected the anguish he knew she’d suffered. “I don’t regret it. Not any of it.”
It was killing him to see her like this. He wanted to kiss her. Scoop her into his arms and apologize for every dumb thing he’d done since their shared road trip. Tell her that he didn’t hold her at fault, but he held her in his heart and wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms.
“I haven’t changed my mind about wanting you,” he said, but the moment she frowned, he hurriedly added, “here at work.”
Damn. This was hard. It’d taken a lot for her to be so vulnerable with him—so honest. Now that he knew how he felt about her, admitting it was downright terrifying. He could blurt out everything and be shot down, which, arguably, he deserved. She’d bared her heart before and he’d stomped on it.
He swiped his brow, nervous for the first time in a very long time. Facing a live tiger while nude in the jungle would be less frightening.
“Great. I’ll just...get started unless anything has changed in the week I’ve been gone?” She hesitated, giving him an opening, but the timing was off, so he addressed her question.
“Peg probably left you a pile of emails to sort through. And I answered some of them personally.”
“You didn’t.” Addi’s lips pulled down at the sides. “I’ll have to do damage control.”
She was joking. She was here. She was back. It was everything he thought he wanted. Only now that he’d quieted down to give his heart room to talk, he realized he didn’t want her like this. He wanted everything she’d give him. He wanted the original vision of him in his head. He wanted to be the one to propose. To give a speech. To profess his love for her.
The phone on her desk rang and she answered it, lowering into her chair as she did. She hung up a moment later, having already slid back into her efficient pre-sleeping-with-him self.
“Did you want to review your schedule for the week?”
“Actually, there’s something I have to do. Can we postpone?” What was a few more minutes when soon, if she agreed, they’d have the rest of their lives?
“No problem.”
She began reorganizing her desk and he headed back to his office and shut the door. On his desk sat his watch. He’d had every intention of having the words she’d engraved onto it filed off, and then selling it to the jeweler. Thank God he hadn’t.
Now a different impulse came. One that was risky and bold—every bit as brave as what Addison had done.
Or stupid.
He’d nearly proposed once before and narrowly avoided the mistake of his life. But now... He watched out of his window as Addi picked up the phone and held it to her ear. She sent him a professional smile and quickly averted her eyes.
Now he was going to propose to the right woman.
He could only pray that what he had in mind would be enough to win her back. If not...
Well, if not, he’d keep trying. The future mattered as much as the moment. The mistakes made had been his and had brought them here, to a future he didn’t want.
When she hung up, he pressed the intercom button on his phone.
“Yes?” she answered.
“Let’s catch up on what you missed over dinner. I was thinking Pestle & Pepper if that’s okay with you?”
“Uh—okay.”
“I’ll have to meet you there. I have a lot to do today—none of which is on your calendar.” What he had to do didn’t exist until he’d seen her at the office. Before then, his goal this week had been to try her again on the phone. To text her. To deliver flowers personally and then serenade her from her front stoop if he had to.
Now that he was looking at his watch, he had a better idea. A bigger idea. And it’d better work. For both their sakes.
For the future.
For their forever.
She deserved no less.
Twenty-Three
Beautiful girl, you can do hard things.
Like having a professional work dinner with Brannon Knox on her first full workday after she returned to ThomKnox since proposing marriage to him.
Sure thing. No problem.
She was trying desperately to compartmentalize him, and work, and now that she’d entered Pestle & Pepper, she was determined to enjoy her damn self. There was a lot to be grateful for. Whenever she needed to feel loved, all she had to do was step foot into this warmly lit restaurant, be greeted by Mars’s infectious smile and order her favorite meal.
As if on cue, the owner, Mars, appeared around the corner like he’d sensed her. Round with heft showing he enjoyed his own cooking a great deal, he embraced her in a bear hug. She hugged him back, reminding herself that red eyes and a snotty nose was no way to greet her fri
end. Plus, Bran would be here any moment. She refused to let him see her in pieces.
“Your favorite corner booth,” Mars said as he walked her to the back of the restaurant. She liked being close to the kitchen, where she could hear the clatter of pans and Mars’s big voice. “We’ve missed you. Brannon Knox has been ordering takeout in your absence. Are you two sharing all those meals he’s having delivered?”
A safe assumption, but sadly...
“No.” She hated seeing her friend’s face droop with worry, so she added, “But he had quite a few of them delivered to me. They were delicious and amazing, of course. I’m meeting him here tonight, by the way. For work.”
“For work.” Mars sighed and took the seat across from her in the booth. “I’m sorry, love. That’s a shame.”
“Yes, it is.”
Mars nodded solemnly. “I will send out a special dessert for you. You can enjoy it while you wait.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary.”
“You’re my best taste-tester,” He peered at her over a small pair of wire-framed glasses, his eyes filled with wisdom and love. “It’s necessary.”
It was nice to have someone care about her this much. Tired of her own melancholy, she said, “I actually do have good news.”
“Oh?” Pausing at the end of the table, Mars waited.
“I visited my parents and we had a long, long talk.” She’d once told Mars he was like a surrogate father. When he asked if her father had passed, she said no, and told him a truncated version of her family drama. Since then, he’d proudly referred to himself as Papa Mars. “They want me to be more goal-oriented, but they love me. They’re worried about me. They want the best for me.”
“They sound like good parents to me.” He gripped her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Dessert first. I insist.”
She nodded and he hustled away.
She’d settled in at ThomKnox with little fanfare today. Other than a visit from Royce and Taylor and later, Gia, the Knoxes welcomed her back like she’d never left. It was a huge blessing. That was the part of her work her parents didn’t see. She wanted to be part of a team. She wanted to matter. At ThomKnox, she did. They needed her—even if Bran didn’t.
But she couldn’t ask for more than he was willing to give. She understood that now. The next time her heart ran away with her brain like the dish with the spoon, she’d first have a conversation with the man she was dating to make sure he loved her back before she proposed.
A server delivered a glass of water while she kept an eye on the front door for her boss, a man she used to have dinner with followed by sweaty, delicious, naked time.
She couldn’t regret the time she’d spent with him, though. Life was a series of highs and lows, and even if what she and Bran shared was destined to end badly, she’d do it all over again. Loving Bran might well be part of her DNA. There was no removing it, so the only option left was learning to live with it.
“Dessert.” Mars settled a small, white ramekin in front of her with the addition of a glass of white wine. “Chocolate mousse with a surprise inside. I can’t come up with a name for it, though, so think about it for me, yeah?”
The chocolate dessert was topped with two strawberry slices in the shape of a heart and dusted with a delicate coating of powdered sugar. “It’s too pretty to eat.”
“Don’t tell my guest chef that. This is his first creation. But be honest,” he added, his tone low and serious. “Honesty is best.”
Mars was staring at her so she nodded her promise. “I will.”
Before she could lift her spoon, a figure appeared from the front door. Silhouetted in sunlight, Brannon Knox approached. God, he was beautiful and...wearing a tux?
At the table, he stood over her in, yes, a full tuxedo, his face partially obscured by a black mask. The same outfit he’d worn to the masquerade ball.
“What...are you doing?”
“May I sit?” he asked.
“O-of course.” She stared at him, fairly certain he’d lost his mind. A few other patrons at P&P watched him with curious smiles.
“This was better in my head,” he said, removing the mask and setting it aside. His tentative smile made her heart leap. She ignored that leap. Her heart had caused enough trouble already.
“This past spring, I learned the hard way you can’t make a future happen that isn’t meant to be,” he said. “I was angling and strategizing for CEO. Plotting. Planning. Scheming. I made a lot of mistakes. A lot of very wrong assumptions. I never want to do that again.”
She wished he’d stop talking. She wanted to reach over the table and stuff her napkin into his mouth. She’d already come to this conclusion. She’d made a lot of wrong assumptions about him, and about her future, too. If he was trying to explain why he turned down her proposal, she could do without the fanfare.
“You didn’t agree to come to the vineyard over Fourth of July weekend, and to be honest, I’m glad you weren’t there.”
Well. This was just getting better and better.
“Bran—”
“Let me finish.” He held out a hand.
She quieted, but didn’t know how much more she could take.
“I have been moving forward without ceasing since everything blew up in my face a few months ago. I didn’t want my past to catch up with me. I didn’t want the future to come, and then you proposed.”
She winced.
“I wanted to stop you before you said or did something you’d regret, but I wasn’t fast enough. You forced me to turn you down, Ad.”
“I know, okay? I know!” She lowered her voice when a couple at the next table turned to stare. “I screwed up. Just like you. We’re the same. Go us. Can we please stop talking about this?” she whispered.
His crooked smile flooded her chest with the love she still felt for him. Even being shot down again, she couldn’t stop loving him.
“I owe you an apology.”
“You don’t,” she was quick to say. She couldn’t let him do this. Every next thing he said was bringing her closer to tears. She didn’t want to revisit any of this. “You were right about moving on. When you suggested forgetting what happened.”
“I can’t forget. More important, I don’t want to. It took not having you in my arms for me to realize that I fell in love with you, too, Addi. That nauseous sick feeling I had when I was telling you no? That was my gut screaming at me that I was making a mistake. I was losing you in real time and there was no way of stopping it. There is no moving forward without you—not if I ever want to be happy again.”
Dumbfounded, she blinked. He—what?
“I’m sorry for ignoring the love right in front of me,” he continued. “And I’m sorry for my reaction when you proposed. When you offered me everything and I acted as if it was nothing.” He kept those bourbon-colored eyes on hers, regret swimming in their depths. “If you forgive me, I’ll spend the rest of my life loving you so hard you’ll never feel alone again.”
He folded his hands on the table, his tux jacket sleeve sliding up and revealing the Rolex she’d engraved. She stared some more. He waited in silence.
Her brain scrambled to put the puzzle pieces together between what she believed he’d been thinking and what he’d actually been thinking.
Amazing how wrong she could be twice.
“And if I don’t forgive you?” she finally managed, because that was really the question, wasn’t it? If this was an ultimatum, there had to be a flip side.
“Then you can look forward to ideas a lot stupider than me wearing a tux and masquerade ball mask to dinner, because I’ll never stop fighting for you, Ad. Never.”
Warmth filled her chest and flooded her face. It was everything she wanted and the man she loved more than anything was offering it to her.
“Part of living in the now is doing what’s right in t
he moment.” Bran reached for her spoon and dunked it into the mousse, coming out with a string attached to what looked like...oh, God.
He tugged the string until a chocolate-covered ring appeared from the dessert. A ring with a diamond in the center, and it wasn’t a small diamond.
He dipped the chocolate-covered jewelry into her water glass and swirled, fishing out the shining, and now clean, platinum diamond ring. With that string, he dangled it in front of her like a pocket watch on a chain. And like she’d been hypnotized, she replayed everything he’d said.
I didn’t want the future to come, and then you proposed.
There is no moving forward without you—not if I ever want to be happy again.
I’ll spend the rest of my life loving you so hard you’ll never feel alone again.
“At least read the inside of the band,” he said.
With shaking fingers, she took the ring from his hand. Cold water dripped on her fingers as she tilted the band with the very big diamond centerpiece in the candlelight so that she could read it.
The engraving was one word.
Yes.
“It’s what I would have said if I wasn’t ignoring my feelings. If I didn’t have my head so far up my ass I couldn’t see sunlight. I wasn’t wrong, Addi. Not about all of it. Life is about being present. But we don’t have to let it cost us a future we deserve. The family we both want.” He shook his head, a tender smile pulling his mouth. “It’s not an accident that you’re in my life and I’m in yours.”
Tears stung her nose as she continued staring at the ring. Everything she thought she’d lost was being handed to her, and it was almost too much to process.
“I love you, Addison Abrams.” Bran stood and then lowered to one knee at her side of the booth. “If your proposal hasn’t expired yet, I accept.”
* * *
Bran only thought he knew how Addison felt when she proposed. Now, he knew. Knew what it was like to leap without a safety net and risk everything. All the flowers, delivered food and begging in the world wouldn’t win her back. Only baring his soul and telling her the truth would. At least he hoped it would.
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