by E. M. Moore
His shoulders tense. When he looks back toward me, he comes forward, pinning me against the passenger side. “Let’s stop talking about Lake.”
I stand on my tiptoes to peck his lips. He hugs me to him, his huge body making me feel small.
“You ready for tonight?”
“I can’t wait,” I tell him. “That’s why…” I give him a polite shove to create some distance. “…we better get to school. I don’t want any reason not to play tonight.”
“Um, we’re the Ballers. They’re not going to stop us from playing.”
“How nice for you,” I call out as I walk around the front of the car. “I’m not a Baller though.” I smile at him over top of the car. “I doubt Coach will give me the same leniency.”
Alec shrugs. “I mean, Lake will probably play the whole game anyway, so we could sneak off.” He shifts his head back toward the house.
It doesn’t have the effect on me he wants it to. I glare at him, the smile dropping from my face.
He realizes right away. “Tessa…”
I open the door and get in. He’s right behind me. I start the car up and pull out of the driveway toward school. The tension in the car is thick now, which is not what I want. “I understand Lake will be starting and playing the most, okay? I’m not an idiot. But I’d like to be able to play at least a little. You know what I want. You know why I did all this.”
He sneaks his hand over and places it on my thigh. “And Lake wants the same thing.”
The area where his hand touches me burns. I stare straight ahead. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if what Alec just said was hurtful. The way I see it, four out of the five Ballers have come around. Lake’s still a piece of shit, and in my head, he doesn’t deserve to play. “He told me to watch out, did you know that?”
Alec laughs. “Lake? He’s full of it. All bark and no bite.” I shake my head. He’s obviously forgotten the track incident. When I remind him gently, he says, “A dick move, yes. Totally. He didn’t really hurt you though.” I pull into a parking space in the school too fast and have to slam on the brakes so I won’t hit the curb. Alec’s hands come up on the dash. “Jesus, Tessa.” He stares over at me wide-eyed.
“That fear that you didn’t know what was going to happen? Yeah, that’s what I felt, so don’t—”
He closes his eyes. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. Tessa…” He turns in his seat and palms my cheek. “You know I won’t let anything happen to you, right? Nothing. This is just fucked up. Your best friend not liking your girl? It sucks.”
It kills me that they’re all best friends. I close my eyes and breathe in deep. I’m the new one here. Lake and I should learn to get along. At least, I can be the one to try. He can just go on spewing his hate, I guess. “I’ll try to hate him less,” I say, and that’s as good as I can do for right now.
“We’ve asked that of him, too.” His thumb circles over my cheek. “I’m fine with him not liking you. More time for me.”
My lips pull apart. “So, do you get horny after basketball games, too? Or is it just baseball?”
His eyes flash. “I guess you’ll find out tonight, huh?”
If I didn’t need to keep my grades up for basketball, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t bother with homework or even in-class work. Just like during tryouts, the first scrimmage day is no different. I have zero attention span for anything school related. I’m reviewing plays in my head, feet dancing all over the floor. When I leave gym, I grab my bookbag and then my duffel which has everything I need for the game and head outside to catch the bus. It’s a pretty big motor coach. I heard someone say before that the basketball team lets the baseball team use it during their summer season because of Alec. Otherwise, it’s strictly a Baller bus.
When I get on, the electricity is palpable. I walk toward the back after I spot the Ballers. There’s a spot next to Hayes that hasn’t been claimed, and it’s also the furthest away from Lake. I go to sit there, but Alec pulls me onto his lap, nipping at my earlobe.
“Just what we need, a skank on the bus,” Lake says, loud enough for everyone to hear.
A few of the other teammates look back and then snicker at the position they find Alec and I in. I’m pretty sure everyone knows what’s going on, but I try to move away from Alec because they don’t need it shoved in their face. He holds on tight, though, then whispers, “Lake’s just jealous. Don’t even pay him any attention.”
It’s a fight between my body and my mind. The last thing I want is for all my teammates to think I’m just some whore to the Ballers. That won’t earn me any respect. Though, the way I practice and play should make them think otherwise. However, I know people always go for the low-hanging fruit. Just like everyone had no problem thinking I only got the accolades I did because my dad is Timothy Dale. Now, the story will be that I only made the team because I’m fucking four out of the five ballers even though none of that is true.
I try to leave again, but Alec holds tighter. “Don’t, baby. I’ve missed you, and I don’t like that we fought earlier. It’s nothing.”
I close my eyes. It’s easy to get lost in his big arms. I let him curve his body around mine, and I sink into him.
Heavy steps make their way onto the bus. “Dale, get off Christopoulos.”
I scramble away from Alec at Coach’s words. My cheeks burn as I stand. Lake says, “Never thought we’d have to hear that on a team bus.”
“Fuck you,” I grind out.
Some of the other teammates’ heads whip around. I swallow hard. I shouldn’t have let him get to me, but what the fuck?
Hayes taps his fingers against the seat next to him. I hurry up and take it, holding my breath. Up front, Coach sighs. “Great way to start the season. Excellent work, everyone. I’m so glad you guys took all those notes about acting like a team to heart.”
Fire races through me. I really shouldn’t have said anything. All Lake has to say is that he was just messing around, and then I’m the one that looks like a bitch. I don’t dare look up or even utter a word the rest of the ride there. The whole time, the other Ballers are talking about the game, strategy, wondering how easy Broadwell Academy’s going to be this year. Hayes and I are the only ones who don’t say anything. Instead of feeling hyped for my first game, there’s a pit of dread in my stomach. Hayes being right there is a comfort though. It’s easy to be with him and not talk. Though, I find myself thinking if what Alec said was true. Could Hayes like me like the others? I look at him, trying to figure him out, but he spends all his time staring out the window.
We pull into the parking lot of Broadwell Academy, and I chance a glance out the window past Hayes. The school is almost gothic looking from the outside, but inside, it has all the modern amenities, including a state-of-the-art gym. Sure, it’s not as nice as RHS’s court, but Broadwell isn’t focused on sports, their focus is on academics. Their wealthy benefactors give money to the labs, technology, visiting instructors, not the sports team. Obviously. This is why I’m here in the first place.
“What the hell?” Ryan says.
A few of the other guys make surprised noises. Even Hayes turns his head to stare out the window, so I follow his gaze. As soon as I see what’s caught their attention, I can’t keep from smiling. I stand right where I’m at and hover over Hayes to wave.
“Who are they?” the steady, sure voice of Hayes Irving asks.
I look down at him. “Those are my old teammates.”
“What a bunch of dogs,” Lake quips. “They may be rich, but that’s the only thing going for them.”
I bite my tongue and ignore him. Some of those girls are twice the person Lake will ever be.
Coach stands when the bus stops. “We weren’t expected to be greeted by the Dale Fan Club.”
He’s just teasing, but I see the tensions in the other guys’ shoulders. “They’re just my old teammates,” I say a little louder so everyone can hear. The fact that they did this is so nice. They came to cheer me on even
though I’m playing against their team.
The bus door opens, and Coach gestures toward it. “Be quick about it, Dale.”
I start forward, but my foot catches on something. I stumble, only just barely catching myself on the seats in front of me. I could have gone down hard. I look back, but don’t see anything. There was definitely something there. I didn’t trip over thin air.
I shake my head, a few of the guys ask me if I’m alright. I smile and then hurry off the bus and am greeted by the biggest smiles. The girls are ecstatic that I made the team, but even more so that I made the boys’ team. I get big hugs all the way around and then Coach tells me we need to hurry up. The girls tell me they’ll see me in there, so I follow the rest of the guys through the back entrance to the locker room. Coach hangs back and says, “I asked them to open the girls’ locker room, too. Just go through the court to the ladies’ locker room on the other side. Keep your phone on you. I’ll have Ryan text you when we’re ready to bring you in.”
I nod slowly. This will be a lot different than what I’m used to. Getting changed alone and then having to wait to be called on to hear the pre-game talk. It obviously can’t be any other way. I guess I just didn’t think it through to actual games.
With my gear in tow, I hurry through the locker room, across the court, and to my old girls’ locker room. On habit, I go to my old gym locker. There, I see a single Good Luck balloon hanging, which makes me smile. I have most of those girls’ phone numbers in my phone. I don’t know why I haven’t thought about texting them since I transferred schools. Some of them would train with me no matter what. I’ve just been too preoccupied with making the team that the only person I tried to stay in touch with was Tiff. I hurry up and change, then wait for the text. It seems like it’s an awfully long time before my phone finally buzzes in my hand. Come to the locker room.
I grab everything and then head back through the gym. I pull up short when I see Andrew and his team there, already doing practice shots. He blinks at me, then looks away. In the crowd, I hear a few people say, “You suck, Dale!”
I shake it off, then move right for the visiting locker room. When I step in, I hear someone make a girly scream and then the rest of the guys laugh. Funny. When I come around the corner, one of the other juniors who isn’t good enough to be a starter is standing there with his hands over his chest and one practically cupping his balls. He’s completely dressed in his jersey; he’s just being a dick.
“Ha. Ha.”
Coach runs down the few plays we’re going to start with and then gives us a motivational speech about how this is just a scrimmage, but the game will set the tone for our whole season. He tells us to play smart, play as one, and to get the W.
After all that, Lake says, “Not like these rich assholes can actually play.” He looks over at me, a smirk tearing across his face. He drops his voice. “Oh sorry. I forgot you were here, Dale.”
I look away. My perfect revenge on Lake would be getting to start. That’s what I should focus on.
Everything goes smoothly when we first walk out onto the court. My nerves amp up again, butterflies in my stomach as we work the shootaround. I can hear a few people near the bottom of the bleachers making comments about how there’s a girl on the boys’ team, but I prepared for that stuff. It doesn’t bother me. I really don’t care what their opinion is. Today’s supposed to be low-key, so that’s why I’m surprised when Coach calls us back and we’re inundated by girls’ screaming. I stare up into the stands and almost fall over. In fact, I stumble right into Hayes who’s stopped, his shoulders bunching and hands tightening to fists. A bunch of the girls who hang out with the Ballers are wearing a huge picture of my face on their shirts. It’s the one Lake took after he drew the dick on me. “You suck, Dale!” They sing together in a chorus as if they’ve actually rehearsed it.
My heart starts pounding. People turn in their seats at the commotion. Some are horrified, but others are laughing. I can pinpoint Lake’s laugh over them all. My eyes burn. When I look off to the side to try to block it all out, my gaze collides with Andrew’s. He cocks his head and the concern on his face makes everything worse.
After the game—after the incessant Tessa Dale sucks comments and the laughing and the me riding the bench the entire fucking game—I see Tiff walk out onto the court to give Andrew a hug. He bends down and gives her a peck on the lips.
Well, now I know why my former friend hasn’t contacted me. A little part of me hoped she’d be here to cheer me on. I thought perhaps she was just too busy as I know I’ve been. But no, she apparently got what she wanted. I look up. I’m the only one left sitting on the bench. None of the guys waited. They gave each other pounds for the win, some slaps on the back, but I’m just sitting here.
Part of it’s because I feel lost inside, but mostly hurt that making the team wasn’t enough for those catty bitches. The other reason why I’m just sitting here is because I don’t know if I should be going into the girls’ locker room or if Coach wants me in the boys’ locker room for a game recap. I stare at the floor and swallow everything down.
34
The last couple of weeks have been rough. The Baller Bitches have followed us to every single game whether it’s at home or away. They wear the “I suck” shirts for me, but cheer so hard for the rest of the team. I’m dying to play. Absolutely dying. I’ve spent most of the time on my ass on the bench because Lake is playing great. A few games ago, he got into some foul trouble, so I got to play a few minutes and no matter how well I played, all I could hear were the people yelling Baller Skank at me and singing, “Youuuuuuuu suck!” They’ve gotten it down to a T. It’s natural to have people yelling at players and starting shit, but when it’s your own school you’re supposed to be playing for, it’s terrible. This isn’t what I thought it would be like at all. Why am I never enough?
My Ballers aren’t very happy about it. They told me they’ve had a talk with the girls, but it only made it worse. The only one who enjoys it when the girls start crowing is Lake. He smiles and laughs, smirking at me like he organized the whole thing, and you know what, I wouldn’t be surprised. The other teammates aren’t happy about it either. Not because they feel bad for me. No, because we’ve become a laughingstock of articles that read Fans Turn Against RHS and Rough Start to Warrior’s Season— “Suck”-ing the Enjoyment Out Of the Game.
I walk out of the girls’ locker room after a win that I had nothing to do with and head toward the parking lot. The cars have already cleared out, and I just want to get home. Mom and Dad have come to a few games, even tonight’s, sitting through the Baller Bitches new cheer routine starring how much I suck. Footsteps pound the pavement behind me. I turn instinctively. Lately in the hallway, I’ve been tripped, had things thrown at me, and walked into like I wasn’t even there so much that I don’t trust people anymore. The only time it doesn’t happen is when Hayes walks me to every class, but I can’t expect Hayes to be my bodyguard forever. No matter how many times the guys try to be there, I’m going to be alone at some point.
When I look up, though, it’s Sloan who’s racing after me. I turn right back around. My chest constricts. I have no desire to talk to anyone right now, and it doesn’t matter how many times they tell me that everyone will get used to me being on the team, it only seems to be getting worse, not better. “Come on, Tessa, wait up!”
I hit the unlock button on the fob and go to open my passenger side door when I gasp. Someone’s keyed “Baller Skank” into my car across the passenger side door panel. My car! I close my eyes, my duffel slipping from my grip. Heat gathers behind my eyes. I’ve tried and tried, and no matter what I do, no matter how much I try to prove that I deserve to be on that team, this is the push back I get. No one wants me on the team.
“What the…? Fuck,” Sloan curses.
I run my fingers over the words. That’s all I am to everyone. Just the Baller Skank. They’ve seen me walking to class with Hayes. They’ve seen Alec and Sloan touch me
, even kiss me at school. It’s different than the other girls because they went through the guys one-at-a-time. Me? This is all happening at once. The same day they see me with Hayes, they see me kiss Alec or see Sloan pinch my ass. I wish people would mind their own business. I’m not a threat to them. In a way, I guess I am though. To the catty girls, I’m taking their fun away and they need someone to focus their anger on.
“My mom’s going to freak,” I say, voice wavering.
Sloan pulls me to him. “They don’t understand it. That’s all, Tessa. No one’s ever gotten our bond, so they’d never understand why we’d all want to be with you.”
I make an amused sound in the back of my throat. “Are we even together anymore?”
Sloan pulls his head back like I slapped him.
I shake my head. “I guess we should have expected it. Basketball has taken over. I don’t feel like the girl you want to date, I feel like your shitty teammate who ruins everything.”
“You’re not ruining anything,” Sloan says, his gaze intent on me. “We haven’t lost a game all season.”
I rub my head. I hate that I’ve had practically nothing to do with any of those wins. My mouth stays shut, though. It all just sounds like bitterness.
“Hey,” Sloan says, sliding his arm around my back to comfort me. “I try to sit with you on the bus….”
“So Coach can call me out again? No thanks.”
“We’ve been to dances. We’ve hung out over the weekend.” He places a few strands of hair behind my ear. “I think all this is just getting to you. That’s all. I can’t blame you, Tessa. It’s fucked up. Ryan and me, Alec and Hayes, we’ve tried to do something, but—”
“It only makes it worse? I’ve noticed.”
Sloan tips my head back, touching his lips lightly to mine. His touch ignites a fire in me. This time, I don’t tamp it down. Part of the reason why I feel excluded from them is on me. I pull away from them because I don’t want to give anyone ammunition, but right now, it’s just Sloan and me. I wrap my hand around the back of his neck and pull him forward. His body responds automatically. “Fuck, I missed this,” he says, nipping my lower lip before pulling my waist toward his.