by Elle James
“He doesn’t wear a ring, but then I wouldn’t expect a SEAL to wear one.” She patted the sheets. “I’ve always been a sucker for a man with tattoos. He was telling me about the different ones and the meaning behind them. I especially like that he has the SEAL Trident on his shoulder. It’s impressive.”
Her patience dissolving, Erin stepped aside. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some business to attend to.” She didn’t, unless you counted having coffee with a SEAL who didn’t mind telling stories about the tattoos on his body to every strange woman he encountered. Caesar was a natural flirt, which only went to prove her fears about the man.
He was playing with her and he’d forget her as soon as she left his sight. Hadn’t he with Reynolds? Anger built as she marched across the hospital to the cafeteria.
She found him with a cup of coffee gripped between two big hands, sitting across the table from a pretty corporal in Army camouflage, her hair pulled back in a neat knot at her nape, her lips parted in a smile.
That did it. She obeyed her first inclination to turn and leave the cafeteria, find the next transport back to Bagram and forget about the SEAL who’d made her heart beat faster and her blood run hot.
In the middle of turning, she heard his deep sexy voice call out, “Lt. McGee!”
For a moment, she debated walking out without acknowledging him, but then she was almost certain he’d come running after her to the best of his ability. The nurse in her didn’t want him to reinjure himself so soon, though the jealous woman wanted to tell him to go to hell.
“I have to get back to work.” The corporal stood, tucked an imaginary hair behind her ear, her cheeks flushed pink. “Will you be around much longer?”
“Not if I can help it,” he said, his gaze on Erin. “I’d like to return to my duty assignment and my team.”
“Well, thanks again for taking the time to talk to me about my boyfriend. I’m sure you’re right and he’s just worried about me.”
“You take care of yourself, Abby. Everything will work out.”
“Thanks.” She stepped past Erin, her eyes growing wide, her body stiffening when she noticed the rank on her uniform. “Excuse me, ma’am.”
Erin nodded without saying a word.
“Lt. McGee.” Caesar pushed to his feet, wincing. He wore the hospital gown and a hospital-issued robe and still managed to look hot. Apparently, he’d showered, but he had opted not to shave, and his hair was on the shaggy side, like most SEALs on deployment. “I saved a place for you.” He held out a chair.
Erin hesitated when she should have kept walking right out of the man’s life.
“You promised coffee if I was up on my own two feet.” He grinned and held out his muscular arms. “I’m on my own two feet. I even made it down here without a wheelchair or assistance from the nurses.”
“I can imagine you had plenty of volunteers,” she snapped.
His brows furrowed. “Have I done something wrong?”
Erin glanced around at the others in the cafeteria. Some faces had turned their way. Rather than become a spectacle in front of the military and civilian personnel there for breakfast and their coffee, she closed the distance between her and Caesar. But she didn’t take the seat. “I’m not staying.”
“Why?”
“Why should I? I’m sure you have plenty of women standing in line to sit and chat with you.” She swallowed hard. “And I have to get some sleep. I’m on duty again tonight.”
He captured her hand and refused to let go. “I don’t care about any of the other women. I only want to have coffee with you.”
“You were doing just fine with your little friend a moment ago.” God, she hated how waspish her voice sounded. But, damn it, she couldn’t contain her anger.
His frown deepened and he glanced around in confusion, then his brows lifted and he smiled. “You mean Abby?” He chuckled. “She’s a nice kid, all worried about her boyfriend back home. We ran into each other in the checkout line. The poor girl was almost in tears.”
“There’s Abby and then there’s Reynolds, your nurse.”
“Jennifer?”
“See?” She jerked at his grasp but couldn’t retrieve her hand. “You know her first name. And she says you’re quite the charmer.”
“Me?” His frown returned. “You’re not jealous of Jennifer and Abby, are you?”
“Of course, I’m not jealous.” Erin realized her voice had increased in volume. Another glance around at the faces turned her direction made her drop into the proffered seat.
Caesar eased into the one beside her. “Then why mention them? They’re nice women, but they don’t mean anything to me. You’re the only woman I’m interested in.”
“For now.” Erin turned her head and stared at the line of customers at the cash register. In her peripheral vision, she could see Caesar studying her, his brown gaze soft and worried.
After a while, he leaned closer. “I won’t be interested in anyone else.”
“It doesn’t matter. I came to tell you we can’t see each other. I could lose my commission, and anything between us will never last anyway.”
His lips drew into a thin line. “Why couldn’t it?”
“You’re a SEAL. I’m in the Air Force. You’re enlisted, I’m an officer. Do I have to spell it out…again?”
He shook his head. “You’re looking at it all wrong. You see all the reasons we can’t be together.”
“What other way is there?” She sighed, her shoulders slumping, exhaustion claiming her.
His lips lifted in a tender smile. “I see all the reasons why we should.”
Though the smile made her knees and her resolve weaken, she refused to let him see it. Pushing back her shoulders, she gave him a pointed stare. “Tell me one.”
“We like the same kind of music.”
Erin frowned. “How do you know? We haven’t even dated.”
“I made it my business to find out.” His chest swelled. “You like soft rock, but when you work out, you prefer something a little more hard core.”
He’s right. “Lucky guess.”
“Maybe. The point is that I like soft rock and I like to work out to something with a faster pace. Like you.” He waved a hand between them. “When you go dancing, you prefer country western because you like to two-step.” He flattened a palm on his chest. “I like to dance, and if you like to two-step, I bet you’ll like salsa as well. I can teach you to salsa, if you don’t already know how.”
Erin’s chest tightened. She’d met Matthew at the Ramstein Air Force Base Officer’s Club. He’d danced with her, but never really got the rhythm of the music. Having resigned herself to a relationship with little dancing, she had given up on finding a man who could dance, telling herself the activity wasn’t a deal-breaker. That Caesar enjoyed dancing and wanted to teach her to salsa made the decision to walk away just a little bit harder.
With another heavy sigh, she noted, “You’re missing the point. I’m not in the market for a relationship.”
“You weren’t until you met me.” He touched his thumb to his chest and gave her a sexy smile.
Butterflies fluttered in her belly and she swayed toward him and his all-too-charming smile. “You’re far too sure of yourself. Some people would call that conceit.”
“I call it confidence.” He squeezed her hand. “I see a woman who has been burned by a man who couldn’t keep his fly zipped, and is afraid to trust a man because that betrayal hurt.” He wove his fingers with hers. “I’m not that man.”
“You’re a SEAL.” Her chest tightened. “To be a SEAL, you have to be something of an adrenaline junky.”
He nodded. “I am, a little.”
“Adrenaline junkies can’t help themselves. They get bored easily. One woman would never satisfy an adrenaline junky.”
His brows rose up into the dark hair falling over his forehead. “Is that what the dumbass told you?”
How did he guess? Erin glanced away. “Maybe.” Matthew had told her exactly
that, as an excuse for fooling around with another woman while dating her. As if his behavior was an uncontrollable birth defect she shouldn’t hold against him. And, yes, his betrayal had stung and still made her mad.
“Trust me when I say, I don’t treat women as conquests. I don’t need that kind of adrenaline high. And I didn’t join the SEALs because I wanted on the adrenaline roller coaster.” He settled back in the chair. “I wanted to be part of something elite, a team that trained together and pulled as one. There are no individuals on my SEAL team. We fight as a team and we succeed as a team. That’s what drew me to apply.” His grip tightened.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t resolve the fact that you’re constantly deployed, and so am I.”
“I learned something long before I became a SEAL, and everything I’ve done since then has reinforced it. Where there is a will, you find a way. I’m willing. The question is, are you?”
“I can’t.” She stared down at his hand. “A relationship goes against the rules, and I barely know you.” She chocked back a laugh. “Nurse Reynolds knows more about you than I do.”
“Then at least give yourself a chance to get to know me.” He cupped her hand in both of his. “Even though my heritage is Hispanic, I like Italian food the best. My favorite color is green, like your eyes, because it reminds me of spring. I have two brothers and two sisters and they are all younger. My brothers are in the Marine Corps. One of my sisters is studying to be a nurse like you, and my youngest sister is still in high school.” One corner of his mouth quirked upward. “She worships me, so I try very hard to set a good example.”
Erin’s heart squeezed in her chest. All those things she didn’t know about him made him all the more appealing. “You’re making it hard for me to say no.”
“Good. That’s what I was aiming for.” He stared into her eyes. “Your parents are still alive and live in Virginia. Your father is retired Army and he probably inspired you to join the military. Am I right?”
Her throat tightened. He’d gone to a lot of trouble to learn things about her. She nodded. “He did. Though he wasn’t thrilled. However, he was happy I chose to go into the Air Force instead of the Army.”
“You had one brother, who joined the Army when you were in nursing school.”
Throat suddenly dry, Erin tightened her hand around his. Like Caesar’s little sister, Erin had worshipped her older brother.
“Unfortunately, he died in an IED explosion.” Caesar’s voice lowered to a gentle whisper. “I’m sorry. You must have loved him very much.”
Tears welled in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. “It’s been three years.”
“You never get over losing a loved one.”
She couldn’t stop herself from asking, “What about your parents?”
“Both are still alive.” He nodded. “My mother and father didn’t graduate from high school until they were in their forties and took the GED. They are second-generation Americans, and they refused to let even one of us slack off in school. They were determined we would have a better life than they’d had.”
“Sounds like they were successful.”
“The jury’s still out. Celina has to get through school, yet.” He laughed. “I’ll kick her butt if she even thinks about dropping out. She’s a junior. One more year and all my parent’s children will have graduated high school.”
“You are close to your family?”
Grinning, he nodded. “I love them very much. I learned from watching my parents that love can last a very long time.”
Erin pulled her fingers from his grasp and stood, agitation stiffening her muscles. “I thought love was supposed to last as well. And though my parents both live in Virginia, they divorced when I was sixteen.” She turned and walked a few steps away, before facing him again. “The truth is that whatever exists between you and me isn’t meant to be.”
“Ah, see?” Caesar’s eyes widened and the smile on his face broadened. “You admit there is something between us.”
Couldn’t he see? Their situation was hopeless. “No, there can’t be.”
His smile didn’t slip, his eyes warming. “I have more convincing to do.”
She held up her hands. “Please, there’s nothing to prove. Just let it go.”
“I can’t.” He stood, his jaw tightening with the effort. “You see, I’m a hopeless romantic. I believe in love, and Lt. McGee, I’m falling hopelessly in love with you.”
His words hit her square in the chest, making her heart squeeze hard enough to hurt. “Well, then fall out of love, because after my shift tonight, I’m headed back to the sandbox.”
“Then I’m going, too.”
“Not until you’re fully recovered.”
He straightened and squared his shoulders. “I’m just as good as new.”
“You’re not.” She backed away.
“Erin, wait.” When he followed, his face creased in pain.
“Like I said. The doc won’t release you to duty until you’re fully recovered. That could take weeks.”
“Days,” he argued, his lips tightening. “I’ll be back in under a week.”
“And in theater, nothing can happen. Nothing will.” Though her heart was pulling for her to stay and have that damned cup of coffee, she knew cutting it off now was the best decision for both of them. “Don’t prolong this. I won’t change my mind.”
“If you won’t change your mind…” he tipped his head and braced his fingertips on the tabletop, “very well.” Then he let her go.
As she walked away, she could hear him whisper beneath his breath.
His words sounded something like, “I will have to change your mind for you.”
Caesar’s backside ached by the time he made it back to his bed.
“You shouldn’t push it so much.” Nurse Reynolds read him the riot act. “You don’t want to inflame the wound area or you could cause damage to your spinal cord. Personally, I’d rather see you walking out of here than strapped in a wheelchair.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He eased into the bed, surprised at how tired he was after such a short walk. More than anything, the emotions of his conversation with Erin had drained him. How could he convince the pretty lieutenant he was sincere, when he was lying flat on his back in a hospital bed?
He had until she went on duty that night to do something. But for the next couple hours, he’d conserve his strength.
The nurse took his pulse and blood pressure.
Caesar lay back, watching her movements. “Lieutenant Reynolds?”
“Yes, Caesar.”
“Why are women so difficult to understand?”
She laughed. “What’s to understand? All we want is to be loved.” Her brows rose. “Speaking of which…are you married, engaged, or otherwise spoken for?”
As he remembered the sight of Erin walking away, he twisted his lips. “No, but I hope to be.”
“Got anyone in mind, or can I take a shot?”
Her open face and smile were compelling, but she wasn’t Erin. “I’m flattered, but I have my heart set on someone else.”
“She wouldn’t happen to have auburn hair and green eyes, would she?”
He shot a glance at the perky Nurse Reynolds. “She might.”
“You have your work cut out.”
“You know her?”
“I’ve heard about the LT. She was burned by a pilot who cheated on her.”
Caesar nodded. “So, she doesn’t trust men.”
“Hard to trust your heart, when it’s been broken.” Nurse Reynolds laid a hand on his arm. “If you really love her, and you’re not just challenged because she turned you down, then you have to keep trying.”
“That’s the second time someone has referred to what I’m feeling as challenged. I like to think I’m more of a man than that.”
“Some men get off on wooing women who turn them down. And once they win them, they’re done. Bored.” With a frown, she wiped her hands together and flung them in the air.
“On to the next woman.”
Caesar snorted. “Bastards. A woman is supposed to be loved and cherished, not used up and thrown out.”
Jennifer squeezed his arm. “If you lose out with your girl, will you remember me? I’m looking for just such a man as you.”
After the nurse left, Caesar turned over her words in his mind. No wonder Erin was hesitant to commit to a relationship. He didn’t blame her. But she’d been there the night they’d gone on their mission. She’d initiated that kiss after making love to him. She might not want to admit it, but there was something there.
No matter how hard Erin pushed back, Caesar refused to give up. He’d find a way to convince her he wasn’t a jerk like the pilot.
Finding the right way to prove it would be his test.
Chapter Six
‡
Erin returned to the room she’d been assigned at base lodging, stripped out of her uniform and stepped into the shower. Over and over, her confrontation with Caesar replayed through her mind.
The officer in her verified she’d done the right thing. The woman who’d been lied to and cheated on cautioned her about not getting involved. But the innocent young woman who still held onto those silly childhood dreams of happily ever after wanted the future to be with Caesar. And the lusty, grown woman, who’d tasted what had been the best sex of her life, ached to return to his bedside, crawl in and make love with the sexy SEAL.
After squirting a handful of shampoo into her palm, she scrubbed her hair. Then she went to work on her body, hoping to wash away the residual tingling from where his hand had touched her. Suds slipped over her shoulders and across her breasts, warm smooth and making her nerves stretch for the release she needed.
Erin rinsed the soap from her eyes and watched as the bubbles dripped off the tips of her budded nipples. Some slipped over her torso and downward to catch on the little tuft of curls over her mons.
With a groan, she followed the trail with her fingers, parting the folds to find that little nubbin of flesh in the middle. If Caesar were in the shower with her, his big, rough fingers would stroke her there. Perhaps he’d go down on her and slip his tongue inside her body.