Go Further . . .
To protect yourself against bad vibes, meditate and visualize a protective cocoon of vibrant, luminous energy around you.
Start Here and Now!
Imagine and create your own protection ritual.
Personalize
The part in each of us that we feel is different from other people is just the part that is rare, the part that makes our special value—and that is the very thing people try to suppress.
—André Gide
Use a tool you like to work with and that appeals to you to polish the golden joints. Some kintsugi masters use agate stones; others use ivory, fish teeth, or hematite stones.
Each master approaches the art of kintsugi in his unique manner, by carefully selecting his tools, the chest in which he organizes his materials, or the box that contains the precious gold powder. The choice of the polishing utensil used to give the gold its splendor is especially symbolic. It’s the last tool to be used during the final stage of the metamorphosis. It’s therefore necessary to appropriately select a utensil of personal preference, without necessarily following what others might have chosen before.
In life as well, it may be necessary to walk your own way and to nurture your uniqueness and distinctiveness. Are you different? Good for you! Personally, I don’t hesitate to open new paths. My only compass is my gut feeling. If I feel good about it, I go for it, without being concerned what others might think! Incidentally, I do love vintage things, unique pieces, handmade projects, and transforming every single object into something special. It’s all part of a global spirit: career
(I always follow my gut feeling, particularly if it appears to be impossible!); attitude (I can't go with the crowd when I find the situation absurd); clothing (I find it perfectly okay to pair a bright-red coat with a fuchsia scarf and an orange sweater, or wear a hat in the shape of a strawberry); decoration (yes, I live in Alice in Wonderland decor); entertainment (my famous dinners in the dark); and all the little details of my life (I always personalize all the gifts I receive). The ultimate stage certainly is the art of kintsugi: I delight in repairing each object with the greatest of care, transforming it into something more precious and unique.
Do you really want to fit in with the crowd and live like a shy chameleon who blends in? It may be time to accept and release your inner pink flamingo or vibrant roaring lion!
Choose a distinctive sign, accept your differences and your eccentricities, stand out, free yourself, and nurture your uniqueness!
The Tattoo Therapy
Breast cancer is one of the most difficult ordeals to live through. It impacts women on several levels, certainly physically but also attacking their femininity and intimacy. Unfortunately, the scars from a mastectomy are quite visible, a daily reminder of past physical and psychological pain.
A new tendency is emerging to transcend the scar with therapeutic tattooing. The scar is covered with an artistic tattoo of significance to the woman being tattooed. It speaks of healing, resurrection, and resilience. It is there to express the force of life. Such a tattoo has more than aesthetic value: It completes the healing process. Carried on the chest like a warrior’s medal, it symbolizes the victory of life, the return to beauty, and sensuality and emphasizes the unique path of each woman.
What About You?
Do you sometimes act like a chameleon to fit in with the crowd? And what if today you accepted and nurtured your uniqueness and distinctiveness?
It’s Time to Act!
Ornamental Tattooing
Choose a sentence with special meaning to yourself, a phrase that symbolizes your healing. This is truly personal, but here are some examples: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” “This too shall pass,” “Perfectly imperfect,” “This is the first day of the rest of my life,” “May you be happy,” etc.
“Tattoo” this phrase somewhere in your home. You can write it on the wall using a marker, display it on a beautiful poster, save it as your screensaver, or have a giant sticker printed with this phrase, and so on.
Let it infuse your daily life so that you can soak in its energy and strength.
Go Further . . .
Tattoo that sentence onto your skin (with henna, or a more lasting option if you dare).
Start Here and Now!
Choose your phrase. What spontaneously comes to your mind?
Dazzle
Sublimity is the echo of greatness of spirit.
—Longinus
To make the gold shine, polish the object with a blend of oil and powder using the polishing tool you have selected.
Here is the final step of the long procedure. It requires making the gold shine by “waxing” it with a blend of oil and powder, and then burnishing it to make it sparkle.
You too are now reaching the final phase of your healing. Afterward all you will have to do is contemplate! It’s time to shine and sparkle . . . Time to live, at last.
Finally you discover yourself with your particularities, your uniqueness, and your flaws fully accepted. You have worked hard and made daily progress, polishing your inner self layer after layer . . . Now the time has come to show your true nature and to diffuse your vibrancy and your light to the world!
Many things are not only physiological but also psychological. Think of great actors who manage to transform their energy by internalizing the personality they are representing!
To love oneself is not only a physical process, but most of all it’s a state of mind. An anorexic person, unfortunately, will never find herself skinny enough, in full denial of reality.
I truly experienced the internal connection between body and mind the day I participated in a personal-development workshop while visiting the Royal Château de Blois in the Loire Valley. In a great hall, one could sit on a replica of a throne. Most of the visitors amused themselves by having their picture taken sitting on the royal seat. The speaker of the seminar used this opportunity for a little exercise: “Sit down on the throne like the queen or king you are.” Everybody took their turn to try. It was very interesting to observe the subtle but clearly noticeable change in every person, like a special glow that suddenly changed every face. When it was my turn to sit on the throne, I connected with my inner queen. Spontaneously, I straightened my back, and I felt complete, serene, and strong. After the exercise, one of the participants said to me, “Before climbing on the throne you looked like a little girl. Once on the throne you changed into a woman.”
Glowing therefore appears to be a choice. Like a living kintsugi, change the way you look upon yourself and assume your inner light and beauty. Take a few moments to observe the passage of time: that scar, that redness, those white hairs, that birthmark that makes you totally human. I know this subject well—I still have a cockeyed look despite all the years of treatment to correct my squint-eyed misalignment.
Be tolerant and forgiving of yourself, accept your imperfections, turn away from your complexes, concentrate on other parts of your body, or simply accept them. After all, they are part of you, make you special, and may even give you all your appeal! For example, after having tried every possible hair color to hide my white hairs, I now accept it by coloring my hair with a gold henna tone. In this manner golden threads enliven my dark hair, in a true kintsugi spirit!
A key moment arrives when your external appearance reflects your internal progress. Show your brilliance, stand up straight, diffuse your aura, assume the strength and splendor of the king or queen you are, and glow with glory!
The Flaws That Make You Unique
Paradoxically, your greatest strengths may reside within your flaws, because they allow you to be different, if you accept them. Thanks to them, you are more unique and inimitable.
Would David Bowie have been David Bowie without his peculiar eyes? In show business, there are many successful stars with specific
distinctiveness. Think of Meghan Trainor, who accepted her plump body; Winnie Harlow, the model who succeeded in spite of her skin problems; Jamel Debbouze, who did not let his handicap slow him down: “I see myself beautiful on a white horse. One does not need to see one’s fate as a fatality. My accident has increased my strength tenfold.” Lauren Wasser, the model with amputated legs: “Before, when everything was based on my physical appearance, I was an ‘it’ girl. Today I find myself more beautiful, inside and out.” Rossy De Palma, a unique beauty in Picasso style: “One can’t tell whether I am beautifully ugly or an ugly beauty.” Sarah Jessica Parker, with her large nose. Christopher Lambert or Dalida with misaligned eyes. They all had beautiful careers by accepting their flaws. And they even used their physical flaws to emphasize their uniqueness!
So, rather than hiding your flaws, what if you changed your strategy by giving them special value, like a living kintsugi?
What About You?
Do you feel dull or sparkling? What if you were finally proud of yourself and truly accepted yourself? Are you ready to glow and dazzle the world?
It’s Time to Act!
The Inner Majesty
It’s time to sit up straight, to accept your brilliance and your majesty. Have you ever noticed how many people on the street walk around bent over? Or the exact opposite, how a person full of presence and charisma usually holds his head upright? Your parents always said, “Stand up straight!” Perhaps they were right after all!
You too can reeducate yourself and find your inner queen or king. Stand up straight, holding your head as if you were wearing a golden crown. Imagine that your inner brightness also permeates your exterior, as if light rays emanate from you. In a nutshell, develop your aura. It’s not easy at first, but it may quickly become automatic. Soon you’ll not be able to do without it, and you won’t even be able to see yourself with your head hanging down again. Your body will have registered the information in all of its cells!
Go Further . . .
Every morning, take advantage of every daily care task to implement a radiance ritual. Imagine that every drop of water or your shower gel transforms itself into light that enters your body. Rather than mechanically putting lotion on your body and face, do it mindfully. By touching your skin with your hands, imagine that gold and light permeate your insides all day long. Burnish yourself, radiate brilliance and vibrancy . . . Then straighten yourself up, look at yourself with a loving smile, even laugh at your reflection. Look, you are so dazzling!
Start Here and Now!
Visualize the cream or oil you use every day and, with your thoughts, fill it with light.
Stage 6
Sublimate
ume ga ka ni / notto hi no deru / yamaji kana
In the plum’s fragrance
suddenly the sun—
mountain path.
Matsuo Basho̅
(1644–1694)
Observe
And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.
—Haruki Murakami
Take a step back and contemplate the repaired and sublimated object in all its uniqueness, strengthened by its veins of gold.
Like the object transformed by the art of kintsugi, revealing all of its splendor, as a phoenix rising from the ashes, you realize that you have been cured and transformed. You are ready!
The jigsaw puzzle has been assembled, the missing pieces have been replaced, the wounds have been treated and changed into scars covered in gold. Step back and connect with yourself, feeling how your new unity penetrates all of your cells. Experience this new sensation of being reborn, having survived. You are not in a thousand pieces anymore.
To reflect upon your revival, silence and solitude are necessary. Even the greatest men know how to regularly seek solitude: It’s rumored that even Bill Gates limits his access to the screen, regularly enjoying lakeside digital detox!
I’ve noticed that, during key moments, it’s important to be alone to face your fears and find yourself without trying to hide behind any kind of screen . . . or smoke screen. When I need a retreat, most of the time I simply stay at home. I take a real break for several days without any electronic connection. It’s the best way to sit back and observe. Little by little, my real self emerges . . .
The injuries you’ve suffered in life present you with a second chance. Feel how the challenges you have overcome have made you a different person. Now you are actually yourself! This is the first day of the rest of your life.
The Tale of the Pot with a Crack
Legend has it that an old lady in China went to get water at a spring each day with two pots, each attached to the end of a pole. One of the pots was whole and the other had cracked. It was a long way from home to the spring. The whole pot was still full when the old lady had returned. But due to its crack, the other pot had lost water all the way home and arrived only half full.
The whole pot was very proud of its work. The cracked pot, on the other hand, felt belittled and useless. It was ashamed and sad to have accomplished only half of its task.
For two years, the old lady brought only one and a half pots of water home each day. Feeling like a failure, and not being able to take it any longer, the cracked pot addressed her, saying, “I’m ashamed of myself because I lose precious water every day.”
The old lady smiled and answered, “Take a look at our path. Do you see the flowers on one side of the road but not on the other? It’s on your side that the flowers have grown due to the water you’ve dropped every day. I have always known that you had a crack, and that’s the reason I dropped flower seeds on your side of the path, so they could germinate and bloom. As a matter of fact, you have been watering them day after day. I thank you for all the beautiful flowers that brighten up my house every day due to your crack . . .”
What About You?
Can you see all the flowers you’ve brought into bloom along your thorny way?
It’s Time to Act!
The Retreat
This is time to step back and reflect, to accept the new person you are, and to let go of the person you were. It’s therefore the ideal moment to retreat and recognize your new self without filters, masks, or pretenses, without screens . . . or smoke screens.
According to your own aspirations, you can undertake a pilgrimage or a silent retreat, choose a mindfulness meditation center, a monastery, a cabin, a wooden hut, or simply stay at home. Do not forget to inform friends and family, because a real break can only be viable without Internet, television, or phone . . .
Then you can focus and meditate on your life’s path, measure your progress on the route already covered, and lay the foundations for your new life.
Go Further . . .
Set up an annual date with yourself, as an irrevocable commitment.
Start Here and Now!
Save the date now for a one-on-one meeting with yourself!
Admire
Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
—Oscar Wilde
Notice how the broken object has been reborn and has become a precious work of art, unique and invaluable.
Life’s accidents have created the fault lines of the broken object. As a result of the art of kintsugi, the object has experienced a metamorphosis. Its golden scars not only make it precious and original but inimitable as well.
As much as a kintsugi is one of a kind, have you fully realized how unique in the world you really are too? Nobody before you has ever lived exactly like you, with the same intensity, the same combination of experiences, with the same parents, friends, travels, ordeals, gifts, jobs, activities, hobbies, studies, losses, births, e
ncounters . . . and nobody else can ever reproduce your path. The sum of your experiences, whether they have been pleasant or painful, have defined the person you are today.
For example, my own professional experience has certainly been atypical, with varying jobs lasting two months, one year, or ten years, including: project manager in a design agency, fragrance development manager, writer, art therapist, wedding planner, blogger, olfactory model, marketing professor, event teacher, online merchant, assistant nurse, telephone operator, personal-development coach, call center surveyor, creativity coach, human guinea pig, product manager, marketing study supervisor, and ceremony celebrant.
For a long time I worried about this apparently rambling path without a clear goal. Today I accept and cherish it . . . Each experience has helped me build myself. I have multipotentiality.
You too had a unique path in this world that contributed to defining who you are. Change your outlook: Accept your originality and your complexity. You are a precious and invaluable jewel.
Sculpture and Accidents
Sculpture is a field in which accidents are sometimes inevitable. A wrong stroke with the chisel, an unexpected shock, a slip of a tool, and it’s a disaster: Everything has to be redone! How many masterpieces have thus disappeared? The artist has to work with the hidden veins in the stone, its softness or its hardness.
Rodin, known as the father of modern sculpture, enjoyed playing with these difficulties. He regularly welcomed and included accidents into his sculptures, looking for them to occur as part of the process of his creations.
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