One pickle at a time, Pen. I pushed the front door open and stepped to the side, listening for any movement.
Nothing.
I slowly peaked through the doorway, shocked to learn that someone had tidied up. The apartment smelled clean and fresh, like exotic plants and sunshine.
Kinich.
Every ounce of anger and confusion inexplicably dissipated as my entire body felt lit up like a Christmas tree. A very, very naughty Christmas tree that wanted to do dirty, dirty things to a very sexy man’s candy cane; a man who most certainly wasn’t Santa.
A sex god, maybe. Even in my dreams he knew exactly where and how to touch me. Exactly like the Orgasm Whisperer I’d read about in Cosmo!
And to make Nick even more irresistible, he had gone and won a huge brownie point for cleaning up my place. To be clear, nothing was hotter than a hot man who enjoyed cleaning. Man-jackpot.
Yeah…but all the weird things he did and the way he treated you that night and—
No! I’m not thinking about this right now.
I dashed around the apartment, collecting clothes and toiletries, shoving them into a large overnight bag. I slipped my cell in my pocket. Yikes. Twenty missed calls from Anne and Jess. Nothing from my mother?
I was almost out the front door when I realized I’d forgotten something.
The stick!
I headed for the bathroom.
If I was pregnant, I’d…I’d…I didn’t know what I’d do. There was a nagging little tug on my heartstrings when I thought about Kinich. I barely knew the man, but I couldn’t ignore how he made me feel or how he affected me.
Yes, and how he accused you of being a sperm-napper! Wait. We’re not thinking about this. Remember?
Yesss. But it’s hard not to think about how he rescued me from that monster.
Okay, but he did say that…that thing didn’t actually want to kill you. So was it really a rescue? Maybe it was a misunderstanding. Maybe “it” wanted to borrow your shampoo and deodorant. The monster clearly had been deprived of badly needed personal hygiene products. I mean, that would make me angry, too.
“Oh no!” The stick wasn’t on the counter where I’d left it. Kinich must have found it when he’d come to clean up.
He knew! That turkey knew, and I didn’t?
My cell suddenly rang. Caller unknown. My mom maybe?
“Hello?”
“Damn you, woman! Where the hell are you?” Kinich’s voice roared through the speaker.
Wha…wha…“What!? Did you just call me ‘woman’ and bark at me like a child?”
“Yes,” he replied coldly. “And if you don’t want to find yourself dead, you’d better tell me where the hell you are!”
“Oh my God! Who do you think you are? I’m a grown woman—I can take care of myself. And for the record, you can’t ‘find yourself dead.’ That’s silly. ”
A low growl came through the phone. “Where?”
“I want it back! Where’s the stick, Kinich? What did you do with it? What did it say?”
“Stick? You have Maaskab trying to kill you, and you’re worried about a twig? Why didn’t you stay with Andrus?” He then grumbled something that sounded like “foolish morals.” Or did he say “foolish mortals?”
“But you said the monster wasn’t trying to kill me.”
“Yet!” he screamed. “Not yet! But soon! Gods dammit, woman. Tell me where you are so I can come get you.”
Yet? I must’ve missed that part. Oooh. Not good. “I’m…” I paused. Something on the floor right next to the vanity caught my eye. The pregnancy test. It must have fallen.
I plucked it off the floor, almost dropping it with my trembling hands. It took only a moment for my eyes to deliver the answer I needed.
My heart dropped to my ankles. “Oooh,” I said, followed by a slow breath out. “I’m—uh…uh…Good-bye, Kinich. I’ll be fine. Just—just leave me alone. Okay?”
“PENELOPE!!” He screamed before I hit End Call.
***
With three minutes to spare, I arrived at my class, grateful for the escape of one single, solitary, normal activity. I needed a distraction from the emotional hokey-pokey going on inside my head. Take my feelings toward Nick, for example. Was I in? Was I out? Or would I just keep shaking it all about?
Yikes. What a horrible analogy.
Fine. Let’s move to hands.
What? Now you’re an octopus? Because you’ll need lots of hands to weigh the pros and cons of this cluster.
Ugh! Stop it.
On one hand, his arrogance made me want to knee him right in his man-fritters. And yet, I had to admit, a part of me felt slightly terrified because of what I’d seen him do. It wasn’t…normal for a man to have those abilities.
Then, on the other hand, I liked him. A lot. He made me feel things that, frankly, I didn’t know one person could feel for another—like earth-shattering, burning, uncontrollable lust. Then there was that connection. It ran deep into my bones, though I didn’t know why or care to truly admit it. And, finally, I had an irrational desire to make him mine and never let go, which led to my next emotional dance-off between loss and relief. No hokey-pokey for those two. Uh-uh. The pregnancy issue was a definite tango. Maybe even a lambada followed by some hula dancing and a luau. With poi. I shivered. Poi was gross.
In any case, with so much noise inside my head and heart, I needed a healthy distraction, and the kids, ages three to five, were exactly what I needed. Nothing eased my heavy thoughts more than seeing their eager little faces as they laughed and punched and screamed “Hai-ya!” I loved children.
In college, I was a karate camp counselor three summers in a row. I supposed I liked it because teaching was something I was good at. I showed the kids respect. They listened. We understood each other. Simple.
Relationships with grown-ups were always so complex. Hokey-pokey case in point…Nick.
Well, at least now it was slightly less complex. Not being pregnant was, first and foremost, a huge relief, despite any irrational mixed feelings I might have.
And never, ever, ever—cross my heart and hope to die, stick a champagne roofie in my eye—would I again put myself in that situation. Yes, yes. There were extenuating circumstances—like being drugged—but that didn’t excuse my stupidity for having gotten mixed up with these people.
It’s in the past so get the hell over it.
I would. I knew I would. I simply needed time. Lots of time. And to talk to my mom. The good news out of all this was her being off in Sweden getting her treatment, thanks to Cimil who let me keep the money just for “showing up to the party.”
Well, I sure as hell showed up. Danced on the frigging table and put a lampshade on my head, too!
While I packed up my gear and waved goodbye to my last student, I called Anne, my best friend in the whole world besides Jess. I’d met both my freshman year at a romance book club slash tapas cooking club called “We Take Off Our Tapas.” Anyhow, the three of us clicked and were friends ever since. They’d been especially good to me this past year while I’d been dealing with my mother.
“Penelope!” Anne squealed over the phone. “Where the hell have you been?”
I rubbed my forehead. “You would so never believe me in a million years. Hey, I need a favor. Can I stay with you for a while?”
“Sure. Is everything okay?” Anne asked.
I noticed a tall blond man dressed in black sweep past the plate glass window. He was larger than your average guy, which was noteworthy in itself, but what caught my attention was the way he moved. He sort of…
Floated?
“Um. Yeah. I’ll be there in a few. Okay?”
“Okay, girlie,” she said. “See you pronto.”
I hung up the phone, flung my duffel bag over my shoulder, and reached to flip off the lights. Something told me I was an idiot—yes, yes…again—for not telling Kinich where I was.
I toggled to Kinich’s number and was about to hit Send when the b
lond man came out of nowhere.
I shrieked and smashed my cell phone into the side of his face. He stumbled to the side and grunted. I didn’t look back as I bolted for the door and out onto the street. It was cold and dark, but at least there were people. I rounded the corner as a woman was getting out of a cab. I jumped in and slammed the door shut.
“Drive! Go! Go!” I screamed at the driver through the Plexiglas.
“Well…sure thing, baby cakes!” she said.
I flashed several glances over my shoulder, thankful not to see the man following.
“So, what are we running from, Penelope?”
Huh? I looked at the driver. “Oh my God. It’s you!”
“Miss me?” Cimil cackled as we screeched into traffic.
CHAPTER 15
Unable to believe his thousand-year-old Viking eyes, Viktor stared at the woman’s cell phone in his hand. There, on the tiny screen, peering out from behind the streaks of blood—damn, that human hits hard!—was the image of the blond female he’d dreamt of for five centuries.
His heart pounded inside his chest, but his body remained immobile. He knew he was supposed to go after the human girl, Penelope, but this was bigger than Niccolo—his best friend for the last millennium who’d sent him to watch over her—this was Fate’s handy work. It had to be. Because only Fate had such a wicked, sadistic sense of humor.
He’d been searching for this golden-haired beauty, now staring at him from the screen, for over five centuries—the same number of years that she’d haunted him day and night. He’d searched the ends of the earth for any clue that might lead to her—prophets, psychics…he’d even slept with that despicable creature Cimil once—a scary, scary endeavor that involved pink jelly beans and some very loud music from a group named Fun. while Cimil called him by the name Eric. A complete waste of time. After Cimil had her way, she merely said his future was blank.
What the bloody hell did that mean, anyway?
Did it really matter now? He’d found the woman. He bloody fucking found her! Her smiling image was staring right at him.
And you’re letting the only person on the planet who knows where to find her get away. And the girl is being hunted by Maaskab.
Viktor’s body jerked. Oh crap!
He sifted out the door and followed her scent around the corner just in time to see the back of her head through a taxi window, with a very recognizable redhead driving. He blinked and the cab was gone.
“Son of a bitch! Cimil!”
CHAPTER 16
Kinich burst through Niccolo and Helena’s penthouse door and stormed into the wide-open living room, ready to rip the head right off of Andrus’s body for having let Penelope leave.
Andrus quickly appeared, armed with a gleaming sword in each hand and a soiled burp cloth over one shoulder.
He caught sight of Kinich and rolled his eyes. “Oh, here we go. Princess Sun Goddess is going to have one of his infamous temperature tantrums. May I remind you, Nick,” Andrus said with a sharpness that indicated he was saying “Nick” but really meant “asshole.” “That there are children present.”
“How could you let her leave? You son of a bitch! I’ll kill you.” Kinich lunged for Andrus.
A hand whipped out, plucked Kinich from thin air, and deposited him on the other side of the room.
“Back off, Sun God!” Helena snarled. “No one touches Andrus! Not when he’s here to protect me and my baby while Niccolo’s away training your”—she poked him in the chest—“Uchben army. And don’t forget Cimil was the one who put Andrus here.”
She was right. And he couldn’t afford to cause conflict among allies, especially now. But that didn’t diminish his anger.
Kinich was about to apologize when Helena cracked a big smile and began laughing. “I thought you said that you didn’t like Penelope. But you do. Don’t you Kinny-Kins? Huh…?”
Kinich felt his face turn red hot. “I happen to care for the woman. This is true. But may I remind you that I care for all humans. Vampires, not so mu—”
The front door flew open and a red-faced Penelope scrambled in. “Monsters! Help! Oh my God! Monsters.”
She jumped into Kinich’s arms, hurling him back several feet. The raging fire inside him instantly cooled.
Thank the gods she is all right. Oh hell. Why am I so happy to see her?
“What happened?” He tried peeling her off him, but her death grip was remarkable. She reminded him of that cat Cimil had once taken swimming in her pool. A long story. He hated Cimil’s party games.
Panting, Penelope released her grip, doubled over, and pointed toward the giant floor-to-ceiling windows that were flush with the front of the building. “Monsters…they…I can’t breathe!”
“She’s hyperventilating,” Helena eased her up, and then lifted her chin and stared into her eyes. “Slow down. Breathe slowly,” she said in a calming voice.
Kinich frowned. Helena was glamouring Penelope. He found that irritating. Maybe because he hadn’t thought of it first and he wanted to be the one to help her.
Penelope sucked in a lungful of air. “Oh. Wow. Thank you.” She said to Helena. “Much better. How’d you do that?”
Helena shrugged. “It’s a gift. I do it with the baby sometimes.”
“That would be super helpful when I’m teaching. Could you show me how—”
“Penelope!” Kinich barked. He couldn’t believe the two ladies were pausing for a little chat.
Penelope blinked and then shook her head as if trying to dislodge something from her ears. “Right. Ummm.” Her face turned a ghostly shade of white. “Monsters! Oh my God! Monsters!” She jumped up and down.
“Calm yourself, woman.”
“Stop calling me ‘woman’! That’s so archaic. And annoying! You don’t see me calling you Minotaur despite the fact that—”
“Well, that would be ridiculous,” Kinich declared. “The Minotaur was a violent, misunderstood creature that should never have existed. Damn Cretans.”
Penelope blinked. “I—I was referring to the fact that the Minotaur has a giant bull’s head. Or was it a bull’s body?” She stomped her foot. “Dammit. It doesn’t matter! And stop distracting me. The point is, you’re constantly dishing your pompous bull crap!”
Kinich was inches from turning the woman over his knee and giving her a very, very nasty sunburn on her bottom. “Pen. El. Op. E. What happened?”
“Fine. But this conversation isn’t over, Minotaur!” She took a quick breath. “There was a blond man chasing me—he was huge. I mean huge! And I was going to go to my friend Anne’s house, but the cab pulled up, and it was her! Your sister. She started yelling, saying that I was doing it all wrong. That I messed up the future, and she couldn’t see it anymore!” Penelope paused and frantically fanned her face with her hand. “I don’t know! I don’t know what she meant! But she said I had to come back here or the world would explode or something. She pulled up to the curb downstairs—oh my God, why is your sister driving a cab? That’s crazy. Isn’t she rich?—and then I was going to run for it, but one of those monsters came out of nowhere! I screamed. I mean, there was nothing else I could do. Right? But when the monster grabbed me, the blond man showed up and tackled him—how’d he get there so fast? Am I in some alternate universe? This isn’t right. Then a van pulled up and these three guys in black leather jackets with fangs grabbed me. Cimil jumped out of the cab and tossed them, I mean…tossed them across the street—what the hell does that woman eat?—I ran inside the building and dove into the elevator!”
Kinich’s mind reeled through the frantically delivered story. It was like that time they’d played charades while blindfolded. Underwater. Again, with that poor, poor cat. He’d have to chat with Cimil about her stance on animal rights later.
Unexpectedly, Viktor sifted into the living room, appearing out of thin air directly in front of Penelope.
Oh great. Kinich braced himself.
Penelope screamed at the top of her l
ungs and passed out. Kinich caught her in his arm and scooped her up.
***
For one brief second, among the ensuing chaos, Kinich experienced a profound serenity while holding Penelope in his arms. The tiny embers nestled deep inside glowed with euphoric warmth and not the usual hot rage.
Kinich’s mind sputtered and stalled like an old engine. Bloody hell. He couldn’t afford to become attached to this admittedly exquisite, statuesque woman. He had obligations to fulfill.
Yes, but haven’t you spent an eternity taking care of mankind? Fighting for them? Are you not deserving of a life of your own?
In the early days, watching over humankind was simple. A few pockets of humans existed, scattered across the globe. It was nothing the fourteen gods couldn’t handle. Or thirteen, really; Kinich had spent much of those earlier years—during the age referred to by the gods as “pre-calendar” because, well, there were no calendars—living in the human world, wandering. He traveled on foot to every corner of the world. Alone. Thinking. Loathing. It boiled down to one simple matter: His place in the world had been forced upon him with no end in sight.
Eternity. Eternity. Eternity. Shit.
Through the dank, musty jungles, through the frigid mountains and scalding hot deserts, he walked alone, lived alone, slept alone with only the sun on his face and his gnawing, unanswered questions to keep him company.
Where had the gods come from? Was the Creator a real being as Cimil claimed? If yes, then why hadn’t he or she spoken to him? Might be nice to know why he—Kinich—existed or if he was truly destined to live for an eternity, caring for humans.
But, alas, there would be no answers to these questions, nor would he find any semblance of peace in his soul until the Day of the Penance. That had been nearly five thousand years ago.
While standing on the scorching hot riverbank of the Nile in Giza, Kinich—known to the Egyptians as Ra, the Sun God—witnessed a great flash of silver light across sky. Within moments, his life force weakened, and through his otherworldly connection, he determined that his brethren had experienced the same.
Sun God Seeks…Surrogate? Page 10