Sadie smiled. ‘No one could ever call my mother good!’
‘She didn’t do a bad job of bringing you up.’
No, Sadie thought. She didn’t. It was only now she had begun to appreciate how difficult it must have been for Lily.
Silence stretched between them. Then Ada said, ‘There’s another reason why I came. It’s about Jimmy Clyde.’
Sadie tensed. ‘What about him?’
‘I’ve spoken to my brother, and – he’s going to have a word with him.’
Hope deflated inside Sadie. ‘What does that mean?’
‘What I say.’
‘Is he going to hand Jimmy over to the police?’
Ada lowered her gaze. ‘That ain’t the way we do things,’ she said. ‘But you ain’t going to have any more trouble from him. All right?’
Sadie opened her mouth to argue, but Ada’s forbidding expression stopped her. ‘All right,’ she said quietly. ‘Thank you.’
‘You’ve got nothing to thank me for,’ Ada said briskly. ‘My brother might not be an angel, but he knows right from wrong.’ She paused. ‘Right, well, I’ve done what I came for, so I’ll be on my way.’
‘Don’t you want to stop for tea? We’re having a little do in the Rose and Crown. Nothing fancy, but—’
Ada shook her head. ‘I won’t, if you don’t mind? There’s a bit of bad blood between us and a few of the locals in that pub. Besides,’ she added, ‘it’s a family occasion. I wouldn’t want to intrude.’ She looked at Sadie. ‘I don’t suppose we’ll have much call to see each other again.’
‘Unless your gastric ulcer starts playing up again!’
‘Blimey, let’s hope not!’ Ada smiled, the first trace of warmth she had shown. Then she looked hard at Sadie and said, ‘You will be all right, won’t you?’
‘Of course.’
‘If you need anything, you know you can always call on me.’
‘Thank you.’
The next minute Ada had gathered her in a fierce hug. ‘You’re a good girl,’ she said. ‘I bet your mother was proud of you.’
The next minute she was gone, walking away down the path towards the lychgate, her head down.
Sadie was watching her go when Belle approached. ‘What did she want?’
‘She just came to pay her respects.’
‘Is that all she said to you?’
‘She said Billy was going to have a word with Jimmy Clyde.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘I don’t know.’ Sadie shrugged. ‘The way she was talking, I thought it best not to ask too many questions.’
‘You’re right there, girl.’ Belle stared down the path after Ada, her eyes narrowed.
‘Right, we’d best head off to the Rose and Crown.’ Sadie looked back at Belle. ‘Are you coming?’
‘In a minute. I’d like some time on my own with Lily first.’
‘It ain’t like you to miss a drink!’
‘I just want to say goodbye.’
Sadie looked at her mother’s best and oldest friend, Belle. Behind that hard expression, she could see there were tears waiting to be shed. Sadie wasn’t the only one who had lost her family.
Belle didn’t have to wait long. Minutes after the other mourners had left, she heard the sound of footsteps on the gravel path behind her.
Belle did not turn round. ‘You came, then?’ she said.
‘I had to, didn’t I? I wanted to pay my respects.’
‘Bit late for that, ain’t it? Where’s the respect you should have given her when she was alive?’
‘You watch what you’re saying, lady! I ain’t about to be spoken to like that by some old brass!’ Ada Dixon snapped. ‘Besides,’ she said. ‘I didn’t know anything about her, did I? Not till you turned up.’
‘I didn’t know myself till I read her letter.’ Belle shook her head. ‘I still can’t believe it. All this time she knew who the girl’s father was, and she didn’t say a dicky bird. I didn’t think Lily had it in her to keep secrets.’
‘Yes, well, we’ve only got her word for it, ain’t we?’ Ada said.
Belle turned to look at her. ‘You don’t think she’s his daughter?’
Ada hesitated for a moment, then shook her head. ‘She’s his, all right. She’s the dead spit of our Billy when he was a lad. Same blonde hair, blue eyes. Good-looking pig, he was. Still is, I s’pose.’
‘I always thought he was too good for the likes of us. Shows how wrong you can be, don’t it?’
‘Oh, he was never fussy who he went with,’ Ada dismissed. ‘No offence,’ she added.
If it had been anyone else, Belle would have decked them for the insult. But she knew better than to tangle with Ada Dixon. She was every bit as tough as her brother.
Besides, Lily had begged Belle in her letter not to make trouble.
Poor Lily. From what she had written there, she was once deeply in love with Billy Willis. Daft dreamer that she was, she had probably hoped that their affair might lead somewhere.
But Billy Willis had used her and thrown her aside, just like all the other men in her life had done.
‘She don’t know, does she?’ Ada interrupted Belle’s thoughts. She shook her head. ‘Best we keep it that way,’ Ada said. ‘I dunno how Billy would take the news.’
‘I dunno how his wife would take it, either,’ Belle said. ‘They’ve got no kids of their own, have they?’
‘Leave Mollie out of this!’ Ada turned on her, her eyes flaring. ‘That’s my family’s business, and I won’t have you sticking your nose in!’
‘All right, keep your wig on. I ain’t going to say nothing.’ Belle held up her hands. ‘I just want what’s right for Sadie, that’s all. Besides,’ she added, ‘I don’t suppose she’d care to know she’s Billy Willis’ daughter either.’
Ada’s face darkened and for a moment Belle thought she had offended her. But then she smiled and said, ‘You’re probably right, girl. She’s well out of it. But that don’t mean she won’t be taken care of.’
‘That’s all Lily wanted. She wanted her girl to be looked after.’
‘She will be,’ Ada said firmly. ‘She’s under our protection now.’
‘And Jimmy Clyde?’
‘Dealt with.’
Belle saw Ada’s forbidding expression and did not comment.
As Sadie had said, sometimes it was better not to ask too many questions.
Chapter Fifty-Two
Tom stood at the far end of the station platform, his kitbag at his feet, watching the other men saying goodbye to their loved ones. The platform was a mass of people, all talking, kissing, embracing, crying and smiling. There was so much raw emotion on display, it was almost too hard for him to watch.
Then he thought he heard someone calling out his name. He had swung round to look before he realised he was being foolish. Who would come to see him off? His brothers couldn’t wait to see the back of him, and his father was too busy with his latest floozy to care where he went.
Besides, this had been a woman’s voice. It had sounded like …
Tom shook his head. It was wishful thinking, that was all. Just his imagination playing cruel tricks on him.
The train came in and everyone started making their way towards it. Tom slung his kitbag over his shoulder and climbed aboard. He dumped his bag on the rack overhead then threw himself down in a seat, turning his face away from the platform so he wouldn’t have to see the last-minute desperate embraces, the clutching hands and tears running down brave faces.
What must it feel like, he thought, to love someone so much you couldn’t bear to leave them?
Suddenly he heard his name called again, more clearly this time. He looked up and by some miracle there she was, pushing her way through the crowd, calling out and looking this way and that.
Before he knew what he was doing Tom was on his feet and fighting his way back to the door so he could push open the window and call out to her.
‘Miss Anna?’
Instead he said, ‘What are you doing here?’
‘Oh, Tom, thank heavens I found you! I didn’t think I would, among all these people.’ She was breathless, her face flushed. ‘I couldn’t let you go without saying goodbye.’
His chest tightened, making it impossible for him to breathe. He opened his mouth but as usual the words would not come out.
‘How are you?’ was all he could manage.
‘I’m well.’ She smiled up at him, that bright, heartbreaking smile. ‘How are you?’
He nodded. ‘All right.’
‘I didn’t know you’d been called up. I came looking for you, and your father said—’
‘You came looking for me?’
‘I wanted to see you. To say sorry.’
He looked away, embarrassed. ‘There’s no need …’
‘No, listen to me, please.’ Her brown eyes met his, full of sincerity. ‘I had no right to send you away, not after everything you’ve done for us. You’ve been too good a friend to deserve that.’
A friend. He would hear her saying that word in his mind long after they had parted.
‘I shouldn’t have left it so long to say something.’ Anna was still speaking.
‘It doesn’t matter. You’re here now.’
‘Only just!’ She smiled. ‘To think, if I’d left it a day longer I would have missed you completely.’ She paused for a moment, looking down at her hands. ‘I’m sorry you’re going,’ she said.
‘I ain’t. We’ve all got to do our bit.’
‘That’s true, I suppose.’
For a moment neither of them spoke. Tom willed his stubborn tongue to come loose and say something. Just a few words might make all the difference …
‘We’ve reopened the bakery,’ Anna said.
Tom brightened. ‘Is your father home?’
‘No.’ Anna’s face was wistful. ‘Mother and Liesel are running the place, and I’m helping out when I can.’
‘Liesel, in the bakery? I can’t picture it.’
‘I know.’ Anna grinned. ‘She spends most of her time admiring her reflection in the bottom of cake tins, but I’m sure she’ll buckle down in the end.’
‘And how is your father?’
‘In good spirits.’
‘I’m glad to hear it. I expect he’ll be back soon.’
Anna nodded. ‘I’m sure you’re right.’
Men were pushing past them, trying to get on the train. They had to keep ducking back and forth, out of each other’s sight. Tom was convinced that next time he looked she would have disappeared, a figment of his imagination.
They looked at each other, then they both started speaking at once.
‘I just wanted to say—’
‘Miss Anna, I—’
They stopped.
‘You first,’ Anna said.
‘No, you.’
She hesitated for a moment. ‘I’ve been thinking about what you said. About Edward.’
‘I shouldn’t have—’
‘People can change, you know. Whatever Edward’s done in the past, he’s proved himself now. He’s not the man he was, any more than you are. Everyone deserves a second chance, don’t you think?’
‘I suppose so.’
She bit her lip, and he could see her fighting to make herself speak. ‘But if there’s anything you know about him – anything you think I should know – I’d like to hear it.’
He looked down at her brave little face, staring back up at him. Those brown eyes, so full of hope and trust. She was steeling herself, he could tell. Those slender shoulders were rigid, bracing for the worst.
He opened his mouth to speak. He wanted to tell her what really happened. He wanted to tell her that he was the one who had scribbled the note warning her of what was to come. He wanted to explain how he had tried to persuade his brothers not to go through with it, how he had sat outside the bakery in the freezing cold all night so he could try to stop them, how they had set about him, knocking him out so that by the time he’d come round it was nearly too late …
But it hadn’t been their idea. His brothers were stupid and greedy and easily led, but they weren’t evil.
They would never have set fire to the bakery if Edward Stanning hadn’t told them to do it.
Why Edward had asked them to do it, Tom didn’t know. He could only guess that he wanted to give Anna a scare, a punishment for not marrying him when he’d wanted. Tom knew Edward did not like to be thwarted. Perhaps he wanted to frighten her so that she would fall in with his plans more easily next time.
Or perhaps it was just another example of Edward Stanning being a twisted, evil swine behind that handsome mask of his.
But Tom couldn’t say this to Anna. He couldn’t be the one to break her heart. All he could do was hope that fate would intervene so that Edward never came home – and then Anna would never have to face the truth.
‘As you said, everyone deserves a second chance,’ he said.
The sharp whistle blast startled them. At the far end of the platform the guard was waving his flag for the train to leave.
Tom took a deep breath. If he didn’t speak now, he would regret it forever.
‘Will you write to me?’ he blurted out.
‘Write to you?’ She looked surprised.
‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I know you’re busy and all that. But I’d really like to hear your news, how you’re getting on … if you can spare the time. I haven’t got anyone else,’ he murmured.
Anna smiled. ‘Of course I’ll write to you, Tom. And I’ll send you presents, too. Socks, and chocolate, and cigarettes.’
‘Steady on!’ He felt himself grinning foolishly.
He craned out of the window as the train pulled out, watching her figure slowly receding, waving until she was out of sight. His heart was like a solid rock in his chest.
So this was what it felt like, he thought, to love someone so much you couldn’t bear to leave them.
Chapter Fifty-Three
Christmas Eve 1915
‘Bit of a rum do, ain’t it, having Christmas Day on Christmas Eve!’
Belle set down her glass to throw another log on the fire. They had just finished eating a slap up Christmas dinner of roast chicken, crispy potatoes and a jug of bread sauce followed by a hefty plum pudding and thick cream. Belle was a dab hand in the kitchen when she wanted to be.
Had things been different, she could have made a lovely wife and mother, Sadie thought, looking around her. Her rooms might be humble but they were beautifully kept, with a handstitched quilt on the bed and lace-trimmed antimacassars on the armchairs. Belle had even made the colourful rag rug in front of the fire, where they rested their slippered feet.
‘I tried to get tomorrow off, but Sister wouldn’t have it,’ Sadie said.
‘I don’t blame her. People don’t stop getting sick just because it’s Christmas Day, do they?’
‘Will you be all right on your own?’
‘Oh, don’t you worry about me. I daresay I’ll find some company!’ Belle winked at her.
‘Belle!’ Sadie shook her head.
‘What? Girl’s got to earn a living, ain’t she? Christmas or no Christmas.’ Belle helped herself to another sweet from the box Sadie had bought her. ‘I love parma violets,’ she said. ‘They were your ma’s favourites, too.’
‘I know.’
They sat for a moment, both gazing into the flames.
‘Lil used to love Christmas, didn’t she?’ Belle said. ‘Used to get as giddy as a little kid.’
‘She was giddy last Christmas,’ Sadie said. ‘Remember that dinner she cooked us?’
‘Lovely, weren’t it?’ Bell
e smacked her lips. ‘She really tried hard. Wanted to make it so special for you.’
‘I reckon it was the best Christmas I ever had.’
Belle smiled. ‘She would have been very pleased to hear you say that.’ She raised her glass. ‘Here’s to you, Lil. Wherever you are, mate.’
Sadie smiled. She could never have imagined how much she would miss her mother. But she had forced herself not to dwell on regrets or think about all the time they had wasted. As Belle always said, there was no point in living in the past and wishing things different. So she made herself think instead about the good times they had shared. Now when she thought about Lily, it was with warmth and love.
‘Hark at us, all sorry for ourselves.’ Belle put down her glass and stood up. ‘Tell you what, I’ll put some music on, shall I? We can have a dance.’
Belle set the gramophone going, and she and Sadie twirled around the room. They were laughing so much, it took Sadie by surprise when she turned round and saw Peter Machin standing in the doorway, stamping snow off his boots.
‘Sorry,’ he said, over the sound of the music. ‘I did knock, but …’
Belle lifted the gramophone needle and the room fell quiet. ‘What are you doing here?’ she asked.
‘I came to see Sadie.’ He turned to her, colour rising above the collar of his tunic. ‘I went to the nurses’ home, but they said you had the day off. I thought I’d find you here.’
Belle laughed. ‘Blimey, it’s a wonder they ain’t made you a detective with those powers of deduction. Regular little Sherlock Holmes, ain’t you?’
‘Shhh, Belle.’ Sadie turned back to face him. She didn’t know why, but her heart was suddenly hammering in her chest. ‘What did you want me for, Peter?’
He cleared his throat nervously. ‘They’ve found a man’s body.’
Sadie heard Belle gasp. ‘Where?’
‘Washed up at low tide in Greenwich. Been in the water a while, they reckon.’ He paused. ‘It’s Jimmy Clyde, Sadie.’
She had always wondered how she would feel when she heard the news. But once she did she seemed to go dead inside.
‘Thank you for letting me know,’ she said quietly.
Peter tilted his head to study her face. ‘Are you all right?’
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