"Thank you, Bill. You're always so sweet to me." She touched his arm and Bill took Amy's hand as they followed the boys into the house. Amy closed her eyes as they walked. She was certain that she knew why Bill was here. She could read him, and she knew what she must do.
Amy stopped walking and put her hand over her face but didn't let go of Bill with her other hand. She laughed at herself and then looked at Bill who was smiling. He rubbed her shoulder, and she sighed.
"What is wrong with me?" she asked rhetorically. She didn't understand why she didn't want to be with Bill Ruby. He was the man stepping up. He was the man that would be a father to these boys. But she knew in her heart that, just like last time, it wouldn't work for her.
Her life had been this way before. She had liked boys who in the end didn't stay with her, and she had dated boys who it turned out she didn't want to be with. Such was the human heart.
She would have to let Bill down, and she felt silly for it. He was literally the American Dream Man, and she was certain that she was a fool. But she couldn't live without the all-in kind of love that she knew was for her, and Bill’s celebrity lifestyle wasn’t sustainable to Amy.
"Bill, I'm not ready," Amy whispered.
"Listen, Amy, I know you still have a lot to figure out. I'm not pushing. We can take as much time as it takes."
"I do have a lot to figure out, but Bill, you and me is not one of them." She looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry, but I can't."
Bill's hand gently touched Amy's chin so he could see her eyes. She was ready to cry because she did love Bill in a way, just not enough to live in the limelight of his millions of fans. She loved him, for his energy and his generosity, but it wasn't deep enough for her to commit her life to.
"We are so good together, Amy. I love you and the boys. I want to make this work. What can I do?"
Amy shook her head.
"There's something, Amy. We're right for each other. I think we’re perfect together."
"Well, you might be perfect, but I have a long way to go," Amy chuckled. She was overwhelmed and Bill wasn't helping. "Please, Bill."
“I will fight for you, Amy. You see me, the real me, and I can be myself around you. I need to fight for that.”
Amy smiled and touched Bill’s cheek. “I don’t think that you should have to fight for love. Don’t settle for me, Bill.”
“I’m not settling,” he said with all sincerity. Amy knew that he wasn’t, and it made her feel an inner confidence to know someone as wonderful and handsome as Bill Ruby truly loved her. But she couldn’t live on his love alone.
Amy shook her head, and Bill nodded and hung his head in resignation.
Amy whispered, "Please don't let this ruin our friendship, Bill. You're wonderful, and I need you. I just can't be the girl on your arm. It's too big of a space for me to occupy."
Bill stared at Amy and then got a faraway look in his eyes aimed over her shoulder, and she turned to see if there was someone standing behind her.
"What? Do I have something on my face?"
Bill laughed. "Oh man, Amy. I just got it. I'm the guy in the movie."
"What? What guy in the movie, Bill? You're in a lot of movies."
Bill walked to the window of the foyer, one hand running through his tightly cropped hair. "I'm the guy in love with the girl who is in love with someone else."
Amy blushed and tried to smile, but she didn't know how to feel. She wasn't in love with Bill, and she didn't want to think about the possibility that she even liked Matt as a fellow human anymore. She could see that Bill never thought for a moment that she wouldn't choose him, and she felt sorry that she didn't want this relationship.
"I mean, I knew that you wanted Matt to step up and be a father to the boys, but I never realized seriously that you were in love with him."
"I'm not in love with Matt," Amy squealed in such a high-pitched voice that even she didn't believe herself.
"Ouch, this hurts even more the second time," Bill said as he put his hand over his heart. He paced for a minute and Amy waited, not wanting to argue.
"Donnelly," Bill called and a side door in the foyer swung open. "Is Gary around?"
"Yes, sir," Donnelly said, and he closed the door behind him and moved toward the back of the house.
"Gary's here?" Amy asked.
"We both arrived last night," Bill said, and Amy nodded.
"Gary said that the moment I realized you weren't in love with me, I had to call him."
"You had a bet?"
"It wasn't a bet, really. He told me something about ones and zeros and well, whatever." Bill came toward Amy and put his hands gently on her arms and looked into her eyes. "Amy, I think we are perfect for each other, but..."
He stared at Amy for a long time, but she didn't speak up. She watched his face go from complete self-assurance and love to a moment of confusion, and then to the perfect closed-mouth smile that he used in public. Amy was certain there was never a bad photograph of Bill taken, and he tried not to let his disappointment show even now.
"Amy, my love," Gary said as he walked in and crossed the room to kiss Amy on the cheek.
"Yeah, hi Gary," Amy said, feeling embarrassed about the whole situation.
"Gary, it happened. I figured it out. She doesn't love me," Bill said directly.
"Congratulations," Gary said to Amy, stepping fully between her and Bill. "I told you Amy, it's binary, and I'm so happy that you figured out what you want."
"I..." Amy sputtered as Gary hugged her tightly.
Then Gary winked at Amy and turned to Bill and put his hands on both shoulders. "Bill, we all love Amy, but there is someone out there for you, someone perfect, and we will find her."
"Thanks, man," Bill said, and he nodded with his eyes closed for a second. Amy could tell that he was hurting, but he was Bill Ruby and he wasn't going to wallow, at least not in front of anyone else.
"I see it now, Amy," Bill said. "When you guys flew to the island, how you looked at him."
"I didn't look at him. How did I look at him?"
"You're in love with him, and you were even back then. I lost you before I even had a chance."
"We had just been through something traumatic, Bill," Amy defended, although in her heart, she knew he was right.
"And the way you hesitated letting me take the boys to the game. It wasn't because you were worried about the boys so much. You were worried because Matt's a huge Yankees fan and you wanted him to take the boys to their first game."
Amy bit her lip. "Really, I don't know about that."
Bill smiled. "Come on, Amy. They talked the whole game about what a big Yankees fan their dad is, and they knew more Yankees history than Jennie and DD in the box next to mine. That's unheard of, especially when you add in the fact that the boys were raised on a secluded island and had never seen a game before."
Amy bobbed her head. "I'm sorry, Bill. Gary's right, there is someone out there for you."
"I don't know anyone who's going to see me and not my stardom." He wasn't complaining, it was just a fact of his life.
"I did, Bill, and someone else will too."
"Well," Bill said, sighing and patting Amy on the shoulder. "I'm headed to work. You and the boys stay and enjoy the island for as long as you want, and Donnelly can help you with anything you need."
Amy didn't want to take advantage. "I don't know, Bill."
Bill sighed. "I think we are meant to be in each other's lives for some reason, Amy. Just take a vacation. You're already here, and the boys love it." Bill put his hands palms out. "I won't push anymore," he said, and Amy's smile was his answer.
Amy lay on the veranda and looked out over the ocean. Ruby Island was beautiful and she was glad that she and the boys had come back for a week or two of vacation. The boys liked the excitement and grandeur of New York City, and they loved Mabel, but Amy wasn't sure if that was where she wanted to settle down.
She needed Mabel now more than ever, and she had
grown up there, but she wasn't sure if it was the place for her boys. They thrived here on Ruby Island. They chased animals and set traps, truly enjoyed the ocean for swimming and fishing, and they seemed more suited for a life in the outdoors.
Amy sighed and sipped her iced tea as she watched the boys play in the low surf. She would be leaving Manhattan behind, and leaving Matt behind forever. Even though she'd never really had a relationship with Matt, or at least remembered having a relationship with Matt, she felt heartbroken. She still savored the memory of their kiss, but she was so disappointed in him, and it was a feeling that was hard to overcome.
They were friends, and she always knew in her heart that he was a good man. She could see now that it was her vision of Matt that was the good man, not Matt himself. The fact that he could abandon their boys, even knowing that they were his sons with the absolute proof of the DNA tests, was unconscionable.
Amy bit her lip, and she watched the emotion pass through her like someone would watch a cloud float by in the sky. All of her wants toward Matt were fading fast and she couldn’t invest in her feelings for him anymore. She could only look to the future. She could only look to the beauty of the sunset and be glad that she could see what was important, even if Matt could not.
Amy tipped her head back and looked to the sky. She enjoyed watching the dark clouds roll in. Threats of a hurricane would bring a horrid storm, but it was somehow beautiful to watch the far-off darkening clouds in the still calm breeze. She heard the buzzing engine of a motorboat in the distance and turned her head to the dock, assuming it was the boat returning with supplies from the mainland and readying to take Bill back to the airport.
Chapter 21
Matt had spent the last twenty-four hours traveling. He'd gone to pick up his passport and a change of clothes at his apartment and booked the first flight he could find to Miami. Matt needed to get to his family. He’d been away from them for a month, and before that he’d only missed one day in his boys’ lives. He’d gone searching for fruit and the off chance a ship was passing, and a storm had brewed up quickly. He was trapped on the other side of their small island to weather the storm. He’d raced back as fast as the terrain would allow and was relieved to find Amy and their babies safe. William was seven by then, and Benji was just a baby.
Matt needed to race to them now. He choked on the panic that was rising in his throat. He tried to keep calm in the airport because he didn’t want to get flagged and removed from his flight. He thought he could get to Ruby Island in ten hours, and still that was too long.
Matt stared out the window and remembered everything. He had landed on the small island where by some miracle, there was just enough open beach to touch down. But the sand was soft and the landing gear and the left aileron had broken. He and Amy were mostly unscathed, and they filled the next two days bickering and waiting for the rescue that would never come.
Amy had been resilient for the first two weeks, foraging for food and water, and generally using every skill she had studied when she was going on remote photo shoots. Matt felt like he hadn’t paid attention to anything that mattered in life before now. He made fun of her, calling her a geek several times, but stopped when she wouldn’t share her food with him. He was the big strong man who was behaving like a child, and Amy wasn’t having it.
They became a good team in the daily chores of keeping alive. Matt had been able to start a fire to help cook what bird or fish they might catch, and he’d made a small shelter next to a rock overhang after the first bad storm they had weathered inside the airplane. The wind had hammered them so hard that he was worried the plane might flip over into the sea.
Matt’s crush on Amy formed rapidly, and he chastised himself for turning against his fiancé so quickly. He had loved Sarah, but the weeks he’d spent with Amy were life-changing. He’d thought she was cute, but he’d never really gotten to know her past their current assignment and spending time badgering her. He counted her as a friend before they became stranded, but he was seeing a whole new side to her.
Amy had kept her distance, but after two weeks of toughing it out, she broke down and cried and allowed Matt to hold her as she rattled through all the reasons they would never be saved. She was convinced they were going to die tired and alone. That was the first time Matt wanted to kiss Amy, but when she looked up and noticed him watching her, she’d pulled away and started talking about Sarah.
They were always exhausted with physical work, but two months in, they had callouses on their hands and feet, and the business of staying alive was coming more natural to them. Matt had forgotten about their old lives and was only interested in Amy giving him a moment’s time. She was always bustling about, going to the small stream they had found with the empty water bottles to refill them, tidying up, or trying to make a basket with palm fronds.
“You’re like a robot, Reynolds,” he told her as he followed her to collect bananas.
“We’re alive, aren’t we?” Amy didn’t even stop to have a conversation, and it was like torture.
“Am I so bad that you won’t even look at me? I’m tired of talking to your back.”
“What?” she’d yelled and turned back to look at Matt. Her face was indignant, but he could see her blush.
“Why won’t you talk to me anymore? What did I do to make you hate me?”
Matt watched Reynolds cry right then and there, looking at him and wiping the tears from her face, but not saying a word. They stared at each other for a long time, and then he walked to her, pulled her close and kissed her for the first time. She didn’t push him away, and that began their twelve-year love affair. Amy admitted to him hours later that she’d had a crush on him since they had met, and she felt trapped because he was engaged to another woman.
“I have ended my engagement. I ended it two weeks after we landed here. I can’t think of anyone else but you, Reynolds.”
It was a fast affair from there. They were in love with each other, stranded together on a tropical island, and they had the hope of a lifetime together, however long that might be.
Matt rubbed his eyes and let the memories come back. He arrived in Miami in early evening, but his flight was late and he waited twelve hours for the next flight to Eleuthera Island. Matt was at his wits end, and he opted to sleep in the airport in case by some miracle someone decided to go to the island overnight. He never would have slept on a hard airport floor before, but now he could remember sleeping in the back of the cramped aircraft, on the sand, on the giant palm bed he’d made, and on the flat rocks near the shore, and the thought of comfort had changed for him.
When he finally got to Eleuthera Island, he caught a ride to the nearest dock and then made the mistake of hiring the first ferry he saw to try to get to Ruby Island. The man took Matt east and halfway around the island only to let Matt off at the dock where Bill Ruby's boat parked.
Matt argued with the ferry captain that he wanted to go directly to Ruby Island, only to be left behind and told that only one boat on Eleuthera went to Ruby Island, and that was Bill Ruby's boat. Matt tried to board that boat only to be told that no one that wasn't on the list got to Ruby Island. He'd called Amy's cell phone about a thousand times but it went straight to voicemail. He was desperate to get to Amy and the boys, and nothing was going his way.
I deserve it, he thought, as he remembered the times Amy had tried to talk to him about the boys in the past month. He was so stubborn and focused on the wrong future. Matt made a mental note to thank his dad for pushing him toward his family.
Matt asked six boat captains to take him to Ruby Island, but each told him that they couldn’t go there without permission. He tried offering up to one thousand dollars, but still there were no takers. The seventh boat owner had a small dinghy, and he said he’d make some calls. After fifteen minutes of waiting, he returned and took Matt’s picture with his cell phone, which annoyed Matt to no end. He was trying to smile a harmless smile, but he was thinking if he got to Ruby Island, he
would strangle Bill Ruby.
Finally, the man invited Matt to climb down into his small boat. Matt offered money, but the captain turned him down.
“Bill Ruby will take care of everything,” the man said in Bahamian accented English.
It took five minutes for Matt to realize that Ruby could have allowed Matt on his yacht instead of making him risk his life in this tiny boat. But Matt understood because he wouldn’t fight fair to win Amy over either.
He watched the sky darken and took solace in the weather report that the center of the storm was still more than a day out. Matt almost threw up countless times though, as the waves threw the small boat around and the whine of the small engine screamed in his ears. Forty minutes later, he was relieved to see the mansion on Ruby Island off in the distance, and he wondered if Bill would have his huge security guard throw him in the ocean.
Finally, they were tied up to the dock and Matt saw he was correct. Bill’s menacing bodyguard with huge arms and long dreadlocks was waiting for him. There was a golf cart parked by the dock, but the bodyguard stared at Matt and pointed toward the house, and Matt was made to walk. The guard stayed back presumably to pay the boat pilot.
Matt was in the same slacks and long sleeved shirt with jacket that he'd worn to go see Amy at her house, and he was soaked through with sweat when he reached the front door. He stood there dumfounded for a minute looking for the doorbell, but there was none. He was reaching out to knock when the door opened.
"Oh, Mr. Cole, you're back," the butler Donnelly said dryly.
Just then, Blondie walked by with a travel bag and held his hand out to shake Matt's hand. Matt should have guessed that this tanned and platinum blond beach-dweller was Bill Ruby’s henchman. Even though Matt should have been thanking him for forcing the DNA test, Matt's first instinct was to kick him where it would hurt the most.
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