“Buuuuuuuuut! Inko-chan was running on my face!”
Then, still grasped in her hand, Zidane…
“Blergh…”
…threw up.
Whoa! Nagh! The mother and son’s shrieks echoed through the room. After making a commotion right from the morning Zidane must have suffered the natural consequences of her own actions. Like a geyser, Inko-chan spurted green mucus-like liquid onto Yasuko’s chin.
“Wah! ★! Uwahah! Uwahahahah. I’m done for! Blergh! ★”
Yasuko threw the parakeet at her son and stumbled away without looking back. She headed straight to the toilet. A sound Ryuuji couldn’t stand echoed through the apartment, and he couldn’t block his ears no matter how he tried. In his right hand was the Zidane that had been thrust at him—no. It was now just a parakeet covered in puke.
He sighed. Ryuuji gently wiped Inko-chan down with a damp tissue, but there was a stain he couldn’t get out no matter how much he rubbed. When he looked really, really closely, Inko-chan’s feathers made a pattern that looked exactly like the face of a dying person.
He gently put Inko-chan back in her cage and had her grip her perch. Ryuuji whispered in a low voice as his eyes flashed blue like a lustrous Japanese sword. “Are you okay after throwing up, Inko-chan? Should we go to the vet? We just have the opening ceremony today, anyway. I could take off from school and take you there…”
Don’t run away. The sound of Taiga’s voice from the night before sincerely echoed in his mind, but this wasn’t the same as running. Inko-chan wasn’t doing well and he was seriously concerned, so he had to do it.
However, his attempts at excuses were futile.
“Morning…morning…it’s morning!”
As though trying to regain her lost calories, Inko-chan was aggressively starting to go after the fresh COLZA clothes pinned to her cage. She’d already forgotten Ryuuji. Inko-chan was so perfectly healthy that there was no point in even saying it out loud.
Inko-chan, it couldn’t be that you—
“You weren’t making a big deal in order to cheer me up…were you?”
Well, it didn’t matter. It didn’t. No, really.
Ryuuji turned his eyes away with all his strength from the idiotic face of the idiotic bird. He breathed in and stood up. He washed his hands and then washed the cup that Yasuko seemed to have used when she got home in the morning. He quickly wiped away the water on the sink with a dishtowel and confirmed with himself that he really didn’t feel like making breakfast. Then, when he looked at the clock, he realized the incident had taken up a lot more time than he could afford to waste.
“Ahhh… I don’t want to go…”
Don’t run away.
Okay, okay, I got it. I’ll go. He wasn’t brave enough to skip out on the school’s opening ceremony in the first place, anyway.
He pulled his neatly hung school jacket off its dry-cleaning hanger and, mostly out of unconscious habit, brushed it. He put a loose-knit sweater over his shirt. It was a thick gray V-neck cardigan. After that, he put on his school jacket. He didn’t hook it at the top but just buttoned it. Then he wrapped himself in his cashmere scarf, which Taiga had used indiscriminately, and was done with his preparations. Though it was the middle of winter, Ryuuji didn’t wear a coat on principle. He didn’t want to end up looking like a student in the middle of exams.
He’d packed his tote bag the night before, and he had his cell phone and keys. With that, all he had to do was leave the house.
“I really don’t want to go…”
No, he would go. I’ll go, I will, I really will. He shook his head twice, three times, and somehow shook off the gloominess building up in it.
He dully called out to Yasuko, who was washing her mouth at the sink. “I’m going…”
“See you ’ater…ack, wight, Ryuu-chaaan.”
Even after throwing up so much, Yasuko was still drunk and spoke with a shaky command of Japanese as she raised her head.
“I didn’ forget~! I remembered! ★ I signed it and left it on the table in the room!”
“What was it again?”
“Huh~? Really, Ryuu-chan, you can’t be all forgetful like you have been lately! It’s the Okinawa thing~!”
Okinawa?
Okinawa!
He was bathed in the smell of thick alcohol breath that came straight at his face. Right. He remembered. Flustered, Ryuuji went back in to get it.
“That was close. I almost completely forgot.”
What had been left in Yasuko’s room was the permission slip for the school trip they would go on that month. It was a form for getting permission from a parent or guardian for the deposit and insurance. With everything that had happened recently, it had completely left his mind that he had been told to bring it to the opening ceremony. Yasuko’s excuse for a brain had remembered, but he hadn’t… How pitiful.
“Okinawa, Okinawa! That sounds nice, it’s luxurious~! I wish I could go, too!”
“Well, I’m headed out…”
“Ohhh…looks like you’re down?”
Ryuuji thrust the printout into his bag, put on his perfectly polished shoes, and then simply opened the front door. Just as he did, the midwinter northerly wind blew in, and he accidentally closed his eyes at the chill.
Ryuu-chaan, are you okay? He could hear Yasuko’s carefree voice coming from inside the room, but he already didn’t have the energy to answer her. It was super cold, but the morning light was strangely bright, and his sharp eyes shone as if they would be more at home in the dead of night at Kabukicho—Shinjuku’s red light district.
This isn’t the time for me to be thinking about Okinawa. His heels clunked as he went down the iron stairs.
The asphalt reflected the morning sun to an unnecessary degree. He looked at the entrance of Taiga’s condo from the corner of his eye. The polished white marble stairs made a perfect arch as they continued right up to the glass door. Even in the middle of winter, the plants that hadn’t dropped their leaves were casting faint green, wavering shade along the roads that morning.
But he wouldn’t be passing under those trees today. Ryuuji kept going to the Zelkova tree-lined path. Though he didn’t know whether Taiga had left the house without sleeping in, he was respecting her decision from the night before; he wouldn’t go and wake her up in the morning.
The heavens must have been in an uproar… Well, he didn’t know about that, but he really was happy about how Taiga was feeling. He had a lot of pretty complicated emotions about it. To be honest, he was lonely and felt a little like he had been left behind, but he was also just happy Taiga was thinking of him.
His breath was white as he walked under the leafless Zelkova trees by himself, deep in thought. Normally, when he walked this road with Taiga, he would be hit with her bag, verbally abused, strangled, blinded, or would have to deal with her being in a bad mood after being woken up too early or too late. He would be wailed at for her falling over, running into things, catching on things, for Kitamura-kun this or Minorin that, or because Dimhuahua and him had done something and grumble grumble. But then…but then, Taiga had made off on her own. She said it was for his sake and Minorin’s.
Taiga really might have become an adult.
On the other hand, he was like this. She’d gained a lot of distance on him while he was bedridden from heartbreak and the flu. He should have been prepared the other night, but the same thoughts ran over and over in his head. What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?
“Hyah!”
Like Taiga had the other night, he slapped his own cheeks with both hands.
He really was at a standstill and didn’t know what to do, but hadn’t he decided he wouldn’t run away? Then he needed to be serious about it. It was fine if he was embarrassed. That was all he could do. It was better than stagnating in place, unable to give up—anything would be better than that.
Ryuuji lifted his forehead to the cold midwinter wind and faced forward. Worrying about what
kind of expression to make when he saw Minori wasn’t something he needed to think about anymore.
He would get serious. He was at zero right now, but he could start again. That was it. He just had to make sure he didn’t go into the negatives and not be too worried about Minori when he didn’t need to be. It wasn’t like he had been dumped by someone he was dating. She had just pointed out that they were at zero and that was that. From here, he could collect positive points again.
It had been unrequited love right from the start, after all.
He got to the intersection right as the lights turned green. He felt a little more energized at his slight luck. Ryuuji decided that if he saw Minori in the classroom, he would greet her first. He would do it with as loud a voice as he could, Good morning! After that, he didn’t know whether the conversation would continue, but he would turn his own smile on her immediately after the break ended.
That was pretty much all he could do. At the very least, he could face forward and—
“Oh! Takasu-kun, good morning!”
God!
“Oh, hey, it’s cold, isn’t it?! Huh, where’s Taiga? You’re not with her?”
Ryuuji was now Takasu Zidane the second. He didn’t know what that meant, but that was how it was. He did a spectacular Marseille Roulette as he slid right past the girl who was blocking his path at the end of the crosswalk. He passed by her like a whirlwind. Internally, he screamed, I’m an idiiiiiooooot!
He had walked without thinking right to the intersection where Taiga and Minori always waited for each other. He was really an idiot. If Taiga weren’t awake yet, it was natural for her to be here. It should have been obvious Kushieda Minori would be there.
“W-wait! Takasu-kun!”
He wrapped himself in his scarf and pretended to snuffle. He pretended not to hear anything. The truth was that he could no longer turn around or stop of his own free will. With amazing speed, he kept going, unable to stop.
What had he been saying about greeting her?! What had he been saying about meeting her with a smile?! Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, huge idiot. Die, you stupid damn idiot. As he mentally abused himself, Ryuuji turned a deaf ear on Minori. He couldn’t look at Minori’s back, much less the expression on her face. He couldn’t even look at the hem of her skirt. He couldn’t even breathe in the air in a one-meter radius around where she existed.
“Heeey! Takasu-kun…”
He was on the verge of short-circuiting. Ryuuji’s body froze up. At a loss for what to do, he walked with long strides. He turned his back harder than a rock to Minori’s fading voice as he escaped for dear life. The drama of the amazing escape Inko-chan had made in the morning must have been foreshadowing this. Even as he had that silly thought, he couldn’t face up to how terrible the thing he was doing was.
“Don’t ruuuuuun awaaaaay!”
It was no use telling him. Ryuuji quickened his pace to also run away from Taiga’s voice from the night before, which echoed in his head.
“Why you baldo, Ryuuji, HRAAAAAAH! Don’t you dare ruuuuuuuuuuuuun!”
I’m not balding…
Actually, Taiga’s voice was echoing around him in a very realistic way, he thought.
“Oh, M-Minorin, good morning… GAAAAAAH!”
He turned at the terrible shriek at the same time as Minori did. A small idiot had fallen over in the middle of the crosswalk. It would have been fine if she had just fallen over, but she was in the blind spot of the approaching van.
Ryuuji and Minori threw their bags down at the same time and shot over.
What happened after that was in ominous slow motion.
Like a cat about to be hit, Taiga was frozen in front of the approaching tires. She couldn’t move. Luckily, the van was slowing as Ryuuji jumped out in front of the windshield and clung to the glass. The surprised driver winced as he braked, and in that time, Minori grabbed Taiga’s arm and hoisted her out of the road and onto the sidewalk.
“That was close, don’t just jump out of nowhere, kid!” The driver’s rough yell, the vibration of the engine, and the exhaust from the gas passed right by them.
Ryuuji’s heart felt like it was going to burst, and his body trembled.
“Th-that was s-scary…”
“You idiot!” Ryuuji raised his voice without thinking.
“What do you think you’re doing?! Seriously…!” Minori’s voice cracked, too.
Sitting in the azalea bed with her duffel coat wide open, Taiga slowly looked at Ryuuji. She looked at Minori, too. Then in a small voice she said, “Sorry.”
“Seriously! This isn’t a joke! You were almost really run over!”
“Why did you jump out like that?! Here, stand up! Are you hurt?!”
Minori pulled Taiga up so she was finally standing upright. Minori dusted off the back of her dirty skirt by hitting it hard, and Taiga could only make a pitiful face.
“Look, fix up your coat, too! Put on your scarf! You’re so sloppy about it… Oh!”
As she was rewrapping the fuchsia pink scarf she had finally bought for herself, Ryuuji noticed the scrapes on Taiga’s palms. Without thinking, he grabbed and lifted her hands.
“You’re bleeding!”
“She is! We need tissues!”
“I have some…” He raised his head and gulped as he swallowed his breath.
He noticed that Minori was looking at Taiga’s hand, which he held, very closely. Taiga’s hand trembled all the more. It seemed she had noticed, too. Minori pulled tissues out from her pocket and wiped at the cut. She held it.
It seemed that Minori had cut her hair slightly. The hair tips that sprung up at her chin seemed even more boyish than before. Under her bangs, her dark eyes lit up.
That was his limit.
Ryuuji turned around. He started walking and left Taiga and Minori behind. It might have seemed unnatural for him to do that, but he couldn’t stay there any longer. He picked up his bag, which he had left by the sidewalk, and didn’t even pat off the dirt as he once again ran from Minori for dear life. He didn’t look at anything and didn’t hear anything.
Taiga didn’t yell at him to not run anymore. Under the pretense of putting his bag back on, Ryuuji turned around just slightly to look back at them. Minori had her back turned to him as she grabbed her own bag. Taiga was in the middle of the sidewalk, holding her head as she looked at the heavens. Her mouth opened and closed. Klutz, klutz, klutz, klutz, klutz, I’m a klutz, she was probably shouting without making a sound.
Yeah, you really are a klutz, Ryuuji agreed in a whisper. You really aren’t an adult. An adult wouldn’t jump into the road and almost get hit by a car.
Then, Ryuuji wanted to shout, too. Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, I’m an idiot! He wanted to turn to the heavens and wail.
Ahh, I would rather the school have burned down, he foolishly thought. He was close to tears as he ran away.
Chapter 2
“The beach! The sun! Okinawa!”
“The poisonous snakes! Dr. Koto! Okinawa!”
BABAM! Two class trip permission slips were unveiled before Ryuuji’s eyes as he came into the classroom. He pushed them away.
“What’s with you all of a sudden…?”
Ryuuji’s eyes narrowed into the shapes of crescents, harshly oozing out his unhappy mood. A normal person would have been in tears, but Noto and Haruta, who had developed a tolerance, looked fine as they lined their faces up chummily in front of him.
“What is it with you, Takasu? You’re in a bad mood! Did you bring it? Did you bring this thing? The permission slip?!”
“Happy New Year! It’s Okinawa! We’re there five nights and six days and don’t have to pay anything to go~! Whoo!”
It’s not actually free… Ryuuji looked quietly back up at the naive idiot Haruta’s face that year, too. Today, of all days, he was jealous of his friend’s stupid face, which had no worries.
However, Haruta had mistaken his gaze for something else, and the color in his face changed. “
Uh, what’s wrong, Taka-chan? Stop it! My permission slip is for me!”
“I don’t need that thing. I brought my own in already.”
He really was jealous.
Ryuuji’s lips stayed pinched together as he put his bag on his seat. He was aware that his bad mood, which he couldn’t play off as anything else, had caused Noto and Haruta to exchange looks, but he couldn’t explain it to them. He couldn’t get himself to tell them that he had been heartbroken ever since Kushieda Minori, who could walk into the classroom at any moment, had rejected him on Christmas Eve. He also couldn’t tell them that just a few minutes earlier, when Minori brightly greeted him as though nothing had changed, he’d completely ignored her and run away.
He sat at his seat and held his head in his hands. The more he recalled it, the more he felt like he had done something petty. In the end, wasn’t he the worst? Even though he had been rejected, wasn’t it pretty much only the worst scum who would so obviously ignore someone like that?
It was petty and the worst and made him scum… He was already feeling terrible, but he was sure he had unnecessarily deepened his wounds even further. If he kept this up, he would keep falling into the negatives, and she’d start hating him.
“Ahhhh…whoa…fwhoa!”
“Hey! Hey!” Noto pulled away Ryuuji’s hands, which he was using to tear at his hair. “Takasu, what’re you grumbling about? What’s actually gotten into you? Did something happen? Oh, are you just feeling off from the aftereffects of the flu?”
“Actually, that was a shock. I couldn’t believe it when we asked you to go start-of-year shrine visiting, and you were like, ‘I just got back from being hospitalized, so I can’t go.’ But look, maybe you’ll feel better after seeing this! I’m suuuper excited about the trip, so I went ahead and bought this! Whoo~! Take a look at it!”
His hands, which had been holding his head, were slapped to the side. Ryuuji had a book thrust right in front of his face. What Haruta was showing him proudly was a guidebook. Despite of himself, Ryuuji found his eyes glued to the cover, which had a picture and text that read, “The Complete Guide to Okinawa!”
Toradora! Vol. 8 Page 3