“Nuh-uh, nope, not gonna happen! Get away from each other! Break it up! Sorry Kihara, but Master Kitamura is in our group, and we already promised to join Tiger’s group!”
“What?! Seriously?!”
Actually, who said we needed you?! Clear to the point it was scary, those words seemed to be written on Maya’s face as she looked at Noto. As far as Maya was concerned, Ryuuji, Haruta, and every non-Kitamura person in the group was probably unnecessary.
Noto pushily put his arm around Kitamura’s shoulders. “Let’s go, let’s make the group listings and write out our names.” He quickly tried to lead Kitamura away. Maya reached out an agitated hand.
“You’ve got Maruo-kun, Noto-kun, Takasu-kun and Haruta-kun in your group, right?”
Nanako, who had been watching the situation together with Ami from a distance, approached them. When her calm voice intercepted them, it seemed to have power behind it, and Noto stopped walking without thinking.
“Then in that case, I think you have to ask the other members what their opinions are. Hey, Haruta-kun, wake up. Wake…up!”
As though she were breathing life back into him, Nanako spoke sweetly to Haruta in his unconscious state. He was like a corpse as he slept. He was the seventeen-year-old Sir Sleeps-a-lot. He wouldn’t wake up if an elephant stepped on him. And yet, Haruta’s white eyes slowly regained their consciousness.
“Hey, Haruta-kun… Who do you like better, us or those girls?”
“Huah…?”
Haruta’s eyes first went to Nanako and Ami, then to Maya. Next, he looked at Taiga and Minori, whom Nanako was pointing to.
“Uhhhn…you…”
He started to walk unsteadily as though drawn to Nanako.
“Well, thanks. You can go back to sleep now…forever…permanently…”
Nanako rotated her finger in circles in front of Haruta’s eyes. Haruta stared intently at her finger and his eyes moved over and over in a circle. Then he simply collapsed right onto the floor.
Ami said in a small voice, “You’re amazing, Nanako.”
Maya applauded. “That was super spiritual.”
“Haruta’s brain is on the level of a dragonfly’s…”
Is our friend a dragonfly? Is he? Noto whispered in sadness. Ryuuji dodged the question as he tried to wake up the pitiful Haruta.
Maya glared at Noto, as though saying, Now what’ll you do? Noto narrowed his eyes at Maya while Kitamura stayed sandwiched between them. Taiga and Minori seemed unable to follow the developments and were looking at each other in worry. Kitamura seemed even more worried. He realized that the situation had come about because of his carefree response and rubbed at the bridge of his nose where his glasses rested.
Ryuuji understood that Maya wanted to be paired with her beloved Maruo, aka Kitamura, but did Ami want that? He glanced sneakily at Ami to see what she was doing. If she partnered with Kitamura, she would need to be in the same group as Ryuuji—the one she claimed to hate because he was stupid. Maybe she really did intend to skip out? Maybe she wouldn’t go on the once-in-a-lifetime school trip?
Ami, who might not have noticed Ryuuji’s gaze or who might just be ignoring it, was only looking at Maya.
“Huh?! Wait a second, isn’t this just perfect?!”
At that point, the ever-popular Kitamura realized an important fact and raised his voice.
“Kihara and you guys make up a group of three, right? And Kushieda and Taiga make two. We have sixteen boys and seventeen girls in our class, so one group needs to have four boys and five girls. Isn’t that a relief? We figured it all out!”
Whaaat?! The one who raised her voice to the ceiling was Maya. She’d attained her goal of being in the same group as Kitamura, but her wide, apricot-shaped eyes were confused as they looked at Taiga. In Maya’s imagination, now that the patriarch was out of the picture, the last boss to defeat in her battle for Kitamura was Aisaka Taiga.
On the other side of things, Taiga wasn’t even looking at Kitamura, even though they were in the same group.
“Huuh?! I have to be with you?!” Ami exclaimed. “I don’t want to though! Oh, right, we could just have only Minori join our group! Then you could be a lone Tiger and just wander around by yourself!”
“How about you go around looking for your own tribe, Dimhuahua? Oh, look, look, I think there’s someone right there you’d get along with.”
“Why are you lumping me together with the spinster (age 30)?!”
Taiga and Ami, busy sparring verbally, didn’t notice Maya’s complicated gaze. Eventually Maya quietly approached Ryuuji, who she must have decided was an ally.
“This’ll be a struggle for both of us, right? But we have to keep at it! Actually, that Noto! That Noto guy…! He’s sooo infuriating!”
As though trying to get his sympathy, she opened her eyes wide at him.
“Um, you must be misunderstanding something. It’s not really like Taiga is my cru—”
He tried to tell it to her straight, but Maya already stopped listening. “Maruo! Let’s write the list out together!” She followed after Kitamura, running at him like a bullet.
Ryuuji breathed out a sigh as he watched her and then somehow mustered his composure.
“You’re having a fight again?! Let’s be nice, Ahmin!”
“Oh, of course I’m fine with you, Minori-chan. ♥ Taiga’s the one who’s a nuisance!”
“Your partner, Dimhuahua, is writing in red pen in a real estate magazine. Why don’t you go help her out?”
“Like I said, why is my partner the spinster (age 30)?!”
They were making a ruckus like usual. Taiga, Ami, and then Minori’s voices were soaring into his ears. Everything’s like normal. As he realized he didn’t see any changes in Ami and Minori’s relationship, Ryuuji breathed a sigh of relief.
***
Hee hee hee.
“…?”
He had a dream where all the girls were laughing.
In the lingering laughter, Ryuuji slowly opened his heavy eyes from where he was curled up under the covers. He looked at his clock to check the time and was struck with horror for a moment.
It was nine in the morning, but it was Sunday, so he could sleep in. He had plans, but they weren’t meeting up until way later.
He closed his eyes again and tried to bury himself back into the covers.
“He definitely hasn’t noticed yet, right?”
“Yeah, he’s going back to sleep.”
His eyes opened with such force they might have torn apart. It wasn’t that his memories of being a demon lord in another life had awakened within him—he’d just heard some people talking nearby.
The curtains were left open a good fifteen centimeters, and through that gap, instead of the morning light, he had a perfect view of the window of Taiga’s condo. He saw two faces there.
“Whoa?!”
“Oh, he’s awake!”
“Oh no! He saw us!”
He got up, opened the curtains to check what was going on in the reality outside his dreams, and almost collapsed. He somehow righted himself and promptly closed the curtains.
Just now what what what what what…whoa! It only took a moment for him to be clearly awakened to the fact that what had just happened wasn’t a dream, but reality.
“Ryuuji! You can’t escape from reality! Get up!”
“Hey, Taiga. He looks sleepy. That’s kind of harsh.”
Taiga and Minori had been peeping at him while he slept. On this day, of all days, he was a mess—he was wearing the most linty, pilled set of pajamas he owned. Plus, with the worst timing…
“Oh dear…I just heard Taiga-chan’s voice…”
Normally dead asleep, his mother Yasuko came out of the bathroom. Staggering like a zombie, she headed unsteadily into her son’s room. He tried to keep her at bay, but she got on the bed and flung open the curtains he had only just closed, so everything was exposed.
“Ohh. ★ It really is Taiga-chan. ★ Oh, nice to
meet your friend. ★”
She waved her hand in a carefree manner at the peeping couple.
“Ya-chan, good morning! Minorin, that’s Ryuuji’s mom.”
“Good morning to you! Oh dear! I’m Kushieda! Oh dear! Sorry for doing something so unreasonable, Ms. Takasu! Oh dear! To Bomba! Oh dear! To Bomba! Oh—”
“Minorin, you’ll burst a vessel in your head.”
It was true that on that morning, Yasuko had a bomba hair style that could only be described as something a country bumpkin would have. She hadn’t washed out her half-updo, which she had hardened like a rock with hairspray, before bed. It always ended up like that when she didn’t. At least she had washed off her makeup. Yasuko smiled, her soft cheeks bouncing like mochi. She sniffled.
“Naugh, Ryuu-chaaan, I’m cowld.”
“It’s ’cause you opened the windows up all the way! Put something on…wait, eek…noooo!”
Even her son was taken aback at the way she looked. She was in a barely-there bra and pilled wool underwear. Oh no, this won’t do. It’ll look exactly like we’re a family of perverts. Ryuuji panicked and closed the curtains. Fsssshht!
“Oh, right! Let’s all eat breakfast together. ★ Ryuu-chan will make it.”
Fshhht! Yasuko pushed aside her son and opened the curtains, still in only her bra.
“We can’t, Ya-chan. Actually, we already made breakfast, and we’re eating it after this.”
“Oh, you did? But I’m so lonely…”
Taiga, leaning her elbows on the windowsill next to Minori, giggled.
“We got together early, and we’re spending our morning together, right, Minorin?”
“Yay! That’s how it is, so we’ll see you later, Takasu-kun.”
Right—the school trip group had promised to meet at Taiga’s house at lunch. They needed to make a guidebook for school and couldn’t meet at the family restaurant because they needed to use a computer. In a rare moment for her, Taiga had offered up her house. It seemed Minori had also come to the condo by herself early in the morning.
Ryuuji casually hid Yasuko with his shoulders and also hid his own pilled pajamas with the curtain as he looked at Taiga.
“You’re going to have Kushieda help clean your place, aren’t you? You probably haven’t even done any spring cleaning. It’s definitely dirty…hmph!”
It probably sounded like he held a grudge, and that was correct. Ryuuji had told her several times that he’d come over to help with spring cleaning, but for some reason or other, Taiga kept making excuses to reject him. It was enough to make his face go Devilman.
“Whomp whomp. You’re wrong. My whole condo is sparkling clean from floor to ceiling. It might even be cleaner than your place. Right, Minorin, isn’t it clean?”
Yeah, yeah! Minori nodded.
“That’s a lie! There’s no way! You don’t have anyone to clean…”
“I do. The Duskin Merry Maids did it. Ahh, it was such an ordeal. Yesterday, four old maids came in and took three hours scrubbing here and there and who-knows-where…”
“Wha…at?!”
Did she mean those thorough Merry Maids who cost at least thirty thousand yen? Did she mean to say that those pros had cleaned the bottom of the laundry machine, the curtain rails, the air conditioner filter, and everything Ryuuji had been eyeing for so long?
“The skills of a real pro are definitely on another level. Well, Ryuuji, you can just take your time coming in later. Minorin and I are going to relish our breakfast, and then we’re going to the Uniqlo at the station building at ten and buying Heattech tank tops and tights to bring on the school trip… In other words, it’s girl time, and you’d better not come.”
“Oh, Taiga, it just dinged. Looks like the bread is toasted.”
“Really?! We need to eat it while it’s still hot! Bye, Ryuuji!”
The two of them pitter-pattered away from the window and disappeared. At some point, Yasuko had flopped over on her son’s bed and was back asleep in a position that was painful to look at.
Ryuuji’s fingers trembled where they were on the window frame.
She’s hired the Duskin…Merry Maids? He looked at the Takasu stick that he used to clean the window frame. The Merry Maids probably had such amazing cleaning supplies. They probably used electricity to their heart’s content and scrubbed at Taiga’s condo with mechanical appliances. Those maids had stepped into Ryuuji’s domain using money-wasting techniques on all the things he had been letting develop for spring cleaning.
Those Merry Maids… Those damn Merry Maids! Ryuuji chewed bitterly on his lip and rubbed at the window frame with his pilled pajama sleeve. Yasuko had left fingerprints on it!
At the movement of her son jiggling around, Yasuko fell right off the mattress.
Whoa. The word seemed to float above the group sitting around the low glass table.
“I’m going to bring the computer and printer from my bedroom, so wait here. Minorin, could you help me carry the cables and power supply?”
“Okay.”
Taiga took along Minori and left the living room. No sooner had she done that than everyone burst out talking.
“Wait, wait, wait a second! Isn’t this room amazing?! It’s basically the same size as my place!”
“This must be a condo, right? The furniture is super cute, too… She said she lived alone, but maybe she’s like super rich? I’d become her roommate anytime if she wanted.”
“Me too! Me too! Me too!”
Maya was there in a turtleneck, miniskirt, and leggings. Whether it was a coincidence or not, Nanako subtly matched her with a turtleneck, dress, and leggings. Ryuuji passed around floor cushions to each of them and, at the sight of the excited girls, nostalgically remembered his own reaction to the condo.
Kyaah, what an amazing condo, how luxurious… When he stepped into it on that first morning, Ryuuji had been enchanted as he looked around the room. And then—“Ugh!” He had stopped in his tracks, close to throwing up at the rotting smell coming from the kitchen. This is terrible. I need to do something. And so, he had started cleaning—in other words, that was definitely when his and Taiga’s destinies had first intersected. If that smell did him in and he ran home, where would they be now?
“It’s like something that’d be in a magazine… Actually, Takasu-kun, could you stop wiping everything we touch?”
“Oh, sorry. It’s a bad habit…”
He had unconsciously been wiping up the glass the girls touched with the towel he had in hand. No matter whether they were the Merry Maids or not, they couldn’t do this full-detail support cleaning.
“Whoa! That’s a huge TV!”
“The lights are huge, too!”
They gasped at the TV and gawked at the chandelier. Noto and Kitamura, who were taken aback by every little thing, looked like they were having fun, too. Then Kitamura turned to Ryuuji.
“I’d heard about it before, but you were serious about Aisaka’s house being right next to yours.”
“Huh, next to yours?! Takasu-kun, do you live in this condo, too?! Amazing!”
At Maya’s overexaggerated voice, he shook his head. No, no, no, no, no, that’ll never happen!
“My house is the rental next door. The windows face each other exactly. Well, that’s the thing that connected me and Taiga together and made us close… I guess not close, but it made us get to know each other…like normal in the classroom.”
“Guess you two are inseparable, whether you like it or not.”
Noto’s words were probably right, in the end, so Ryuuji nodded.
Ami sat next to Maya in her skinny jeans, her long legs folded and sprawled out in boredom. The pale skin above the cleavage of her knitted top was adorned by a delicate gold chain necklace.
Making a guidebook was a boring and simple task. Ami, who normally would never participate in something like that, had been threatened by Taiga into coming.
“If you’re thinking of skipping the menial work,” she said, “then we
might have a DVD appreciation day at my house. Are you okay with that?”
It was likely the DVDs Taiga meant were the ones he only heard about in rumor, which starred Kawashima Ami and were produced at the command of Aisaka Taiga. It was titled “One Hundred Impressions in Quick Succession.”
“Hey, isn’t this amazing?! Anyone could look cute if they wore this princess-y thing!”
Haruta, whom Ryuuji could no longer see at that point, had appeared in a ridiculous getup. At some point, he had gotten into Taiga’s walk-in closet and was now wearing a brand-name overdress that probably cost one hundred thousand yen. Under that, of course, he had messily layered on a ton of fluffy lace underskirts that cost several tens of thousands of more yen.
What a huge idiot…
At the very moment everyone thought that, a small shadow flew through the air like a flying squirrel. That shadow quickly pulled the clothes off the idiot and slapped his cheeks.
“Ah! Ah!”
Then, as a finishing touch, the shadow hit him so hard with the corner of the computer that his head might have caved in.
“Everyone! We have to burn all these clothes to a crisp! They’re biohazards!”
“Hey, hey, hey!” said Ryuuji. “That’s a waste—mottainai! What do you think you’re saying? Haruta just wore them for a second! Actually, more importantly, you idiot! Computers aren’t blunt weapons! Are you sure you didn’t break it?!”
“Calm down, it’s the type of computer where you can drop it from two meters and it’ll be fine.”
“Taka-chan…were…weren’t you supposed to be worrying about me?” Tears came spewing from Haruta’s eyes.
The members of the group addressed Haruta in gentle voices:
“You’re the one who was wrong.”
“You reap what you sow.”
“I’d rather you stay unconscious.”
Holding the printer, Minori inferred what happened to Haruta and offered him a silent prayer.
“Now, Haruta’s quieted down, so let’s start making the school trip guidebook! All together now! Bow!”
When it came to taking charge, Kitamura had no competition. They all bowed and clapped.
Toradora! Vol. 8 Page 8