“Exalmpora,” I pointed out. “It’s what King Cini used on me in the palace.”
General Sako looked at me a moment, then blinked heavily. “So, what you’re saying, is that Taka might be at Travast’s mercy?”
“I think she’s saying,” Taka said as he entered the room. “That if you don’t take me, you can’t trust I won’t take it again.”
“Blunders and dragonheats,” General Sako said. “Taka, you’re meant to be under lock and key in your room. I thought you were grounded. Lieutenant Candiorno, did you let him get away again?” General Sako looked at the guard sitting at the opposite end of the front row as Lieutenant Talato and me.
“Don’t blame him,” Taka said and produced a set of keys from his pocket. “I can pickpocket the keys off any of your guards. Anyway, I gave Auntie Pontopa the drugs yesterday, because I want to come off them. But you have to help me.”
A momentary silence filled the room, punctuated by sounds of the heavy breathing of a dragon queen.
“Taka Sako,” Gerhaun said to the boy in the collective unconscious. “This is no way to be treating your superiors. Why should you want to go into battle, when you know you’ll be safer back home? Blackmail isn’t fitting for a leader.” Gerhaun’s voice was kind of faint in my head, so I had to concentrate to make out what she was saying.
“Gerhaun,” Taka said. “I told you before, I don’t think Dragonseer Wells is strong enough right now to lead the dragons alone. She’ll need backup. She’ll need my help.”
My heart skipped in my chest. I had no idea that Gerhaun and Taka had had this conversation.
“You’re far too young to be going into battle, Taka,” I said. “Dragonheats, tell him Gerhaun.”
People around us had now started to murmur, but no one had said anything useful.
“The boy…” Gerhaun replied. “Maybe he’s right. Taka may be young. But you can protect him. Isn’t that part of your job? And, at the same time, he can protect you.”
“But we’re talking about taking a boy right into the battlefield.”
“He’ll need to see battle, eventually. And his skills have far surpassed any dragonseer known at his age. Even before he started taking Travast’s concoction.”
I took a deep breath and tried to close my mind off to the argument that had broken out between General Sako and Faso. It seemed they were both on the same side in thinking Taka shouldn’t be allowed to go. But that didn’t stop them screaming at each other.
“Gerhaun,” I said. “I’m going to come off the cyagora. I can handle myself.”
The dragon queen paused for a moment. “Is that a decision?”
“It is. But I’ll need to hand the cyagora to someone reliable, in case Finesia proves stronger than I can handle.”
“Then it will be wise to have someone accompanying you also skilled in navigating the collective unconscious, don’t you think? A normal person won’t be able to tell if Finesia is running rampant inside your mind. You and Taka both need to look out for each other…”
“Dragonheats, he’s twelve years old.”
But Gerhaun had already decided. She boomed out her instructions from high above us, stunning everyone in the room into silence. “You will take the boy into battle, and that’s an order.”
“Blunders and dragonheats, Gerhaun,” General Sako said. “You can’t take a child onto a battlefield.”
“I behave much older than my age,” Taka said.
And now Gerhaun had said it, I realised we didn’t have a choice. If we contested her, Taka would just run off and take the dragons out with him, like he’d done before. Then, absolute chaos would ensue.
“Gerhaun’s right,” I said. “But our reasons are for dragonseers and dragon queens alone and not ones that we can discuss here.”
“And what is that meant to mean?” General Sako said. “This is madness, you hear me?”
“Agreed,” Faso said. “I forbid you to take my son to Orkc.”
“I’m afraid this is Gerhaun’s decision,” I replied. “Now, if you excuse Talato, Taka and I, I think we’ve seen enough of the briefing.”
I stood up and ordered Lieutenant Talato to accompany me and Taka out of the room.
Once I’d left, I took a deep breath outside the treasure chamber, then I turned to Gereve Talato.
“I need you to come with me, Lieutenant. I need to confide something in you.” I turned to the guards standing outside with their Pattersoni rifles against their shoulders. “Out of the earshot of anyone here.”
“Whatever you need, Maam, you can trust me.” Lieutenant Talato gave a sharp salute.
“Come then,” I said. And I led the lieutenant through the long corridors, past flickering torches set into sconces and towards my room.
I couldn’t think of anyone better I could entrust with the job of looking after the cyagora. Taka was only a child. He’d already proven himself susceptible to drugs, and he might start getting the same ideas as me if I gave them to him, given how loudly he’d said Finesia spoke to him. And I don’t think any other human in Fortress Gerhaun quite grasped the collective unconscious. We hadn’t told them too much about Finesia, admittedly. Taka and I would lose prestige with the troops if they suddenly discovered we heard voices of a mythical empress inside our head. Most would merely dismiss this as insane.
But for the same reason, I wasn’t sure exactly how much to tell Lieutenant Talato. Right now, she was even more loyal than Lieutenant Wiggea had been to me, and that was saying something. But if she didn’t consider me in charge of my mental faculties, who knows how she might behave in the heat of the moment.
I stopped her just outside my door, and I put my hand on her shoulder and looked her straight in the eye.
“Lieutenant Talato,” I said. “You’ve been an excellent personal dragonelite to me so far, and I had a good hunch to promote you. But I need to know something.”
The older officer furrowed her eyebrows. “Whatever it is, Maam, I am yours to command.”
“That’s good. I need to know if you’ll be able to make a judgement call. But first, I want to ask, what do you believe about Finesia?”
She cocked her head. “What do you mean, Maam?”
“I mean, do you believe she’s a figure of legend, or do you believe she lives among us today.”
If I met the average person on the average street, they’d think I was crazy for suggesting the latter. But here in the Southlands, we didn’t even have streets, and Gereve Talato didn’t seem to me the average person.
“I haven’t really thought about it much. I mean, I’ve never really believed in the tales of old. And if you ask me, the Gods Themselves and all the warriors in the creation myth are just characters in stories. I mean, they never really existed, did they?”
I felt my breath catch in my chest for a moment. It seemed Talato might be a little more difficult to assign the task at hand than I first thought. But then, I didn’t really have anyone else I could confide in in this situation, and I had promised Gerhaun I’d come off the drugs.
“Come inside, Talato,” I said. I opened the door into my room, letting a little cold light shine into the corridor. I went to sit down on the bed, and I offered Talato the space next to me.
My room was bare bones, as every room in Fortress Gerhaun. Five years ago, if you asked me if I’d live anywhere smaller than the little cottage that my father had built for me outside his farmhouse, I wouldn’t have quite believed it. But King Cini’s forces had razed my home in the Five Hamlets when they’d kidnapped my parents in an attempt to lure me into a trap. Now, I only had this boxy, dusty room with a single bed, a warm woollen blanket, a fireplace, and a small nightstand. The tall narrow window let in a little light, but the Southlands saw no sunlight, due to the thick, brown secicao clouds.
“Talato, I need to ask you something else,” I said. “If I told you I’d been hearing the voice of Finesia inside my head, how would you react?”
The lieutenant shrugged. �
��Well, I’m not sure I’d believe it was really Finesia,” she said. “But I know you dragonseers work differently to us, so it isn’t really my place to understand.”
I smiled. That would do. At least, it seemed, she wouldn’t judge. I reached into the drawer of my nightstand and handed her the jar of cyagora. “I’ve been taking these recently,” I said. “And both Gerhaun and myself agree I need to come off them.”
Talato took the jar off me and examined it, turning it around in her stumpy hands. Surprisingly, she didn’t comment on how huge the tablets were, or ask questions like how I got them down my throat. Although I didn’t doubt, with the questioning look she had on her face, she was wondering such things.
After a moment, she looked back up to me. “How can I help, Maam?”
“As I explained, I’ve been hearing the voice of Finesia inside my head. I guess the matter isn’t really whether or not she exists. But Charth, you didn’t see what happened to him because you weren’t there. He lost himself to Finesia, Lieutenant. And the reason I’ve been taking these tablets is I’m at risk of losing myself to her too.”
Talato watched me as I spoke with a gentle and concerned gaze, which never seemed to judge. “I understand,” she said. “So you want me to keep them from you?”
“Yes,” I said. “But that’s not all. I need you to promise me you’ll be able to make a judgement call if you see me change for the worse. I’ve become reliant on these, and it’s likely I’m going to want them as soon as I start hearing Finesia’s voice again. I’m afraid of her, Lieutenant. But if I keep her out with the drugs, I also won’t have the ability to sing dragons into battle. And I won’t be able to look out for Taka and lead like the dragons and troops expect me to lead.”
Lieutenant Talato raised her eyebrows. “But how will I know, Maam?”
“Trust me,” I said. “You’ll know. I can’t tell you what I’ll become. But you’ll see it. You’ll see a transformation in me you’ve never seen happen before.”
The lieutenant nodded. A rustling sound came from the window, and we turned to see a plume of secicao gas, ever so faintly pushing through the invisible wall. The lieutenant turned back to me. “I’m not sure how comfortable I feel about this, Maam,” she said. “I mean, you are my superior, and to circumvent your orders just wouldn’t be natural.”
“Dragonheats, Lieutenant,” I paused for a moment and checked myself. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice. But consider this part of your officer training. Now you’re rising up the ranks, you have to learn to decide for yourself. Even if sometimes it means going against the word of a superior, particularly when that superior is relying on you to do so.”
The lieutenant lowered her head. “I’m sorry,” she said, and she put the jar of cyagora down on the bed between us. I looked at it hungrily, then I realised what I was doing and averted my gaze. “And I’ll do my best to keep these from you, unless you absolutely need them.”
“Thank you. Can I ask you also keep them out of my sight? Find a way to store them on your person so I don’t know they’re there. And whatever you do, don’t tell me where they are.”
“At once, Maam,” she stood up. “Will there be anything else before we set out tomorrow?”
“That’s all,” I said. And my gaze followed the jar of cyagora out of the room, before the lieutenant turned to me, nodded and closed the door.
That was that, then. I just hoped that I’d done the right thing, and Talato would actually only give me the drugs if I crossed over the line. I reached out to Gerhaun in the collective unconscious and told her I had entrusted the cyagora to Lieutenant Talato. Then, I put my head against the pillow for a brief nap.
The following night I tossed and turned and dreamed vivid dreams, as I drifted in and out of the land of nod. Thus, as soon as dawn broke, I got up and began to pack my things. I could already feel the dragons around me, and Velos hadn’t yet woken.
“So, your senses are returning, I see,” Gerhaun said in the collective unconscious.
“They are,” I said. “But still I worry. What if she takes control?”
“Just do as you did before. Close your mind whenever you hear her and pretend she isn’t there. Only you can successfully walk the delicate tightrope between your conscious mind and the collective unconscious.”
I stood up, walked up to the wardrobe and put on a fresh set of clothes. Being near the top of the pecking order, dragonseers got to choose their own attire, and I didn’t want to look like the rest of the troops. So, my regular uniform consisted of a frilly shirt, leather jerkin and black denim trousers that proved comfortable for riding. The uniform also had the advantage of making me look like a civilian whenever I had to go on one of those reconnaissance missions, which admittedly hadn’t been for a very long time. I also wore a belt, with a slot for a golden hipflask filled with secicao oil. And I had a bandoleer that ran from one shoulder to the other hip to carry ammunition and other essentials.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked much better for wear than I’d done for years. Although I still had those bags under my eyes, the sockets didn’t look so sunken. And a little colour had returned to my cheeks.
I took a deep breath. Though the air still tasted eggy, it had a certain freshness to it, augmented by the slight chill of the morning. I walked to the door and reached out for the handle. Just as I touched the cold metal, her voice came.
“Hello, Acolyte.” She was much louder than I’d expected I’d hear her. “Did you miss me?”
A shiver ran down my spine, and then I shook the fear away. I wasn’t going to heed Finesia’s call.
“Ah, giving me the silent treatment. Very well, we shall work on that. I’ve been waiting so long, and destiny has finally determined we shall meet again.”
No, she wasn’t there. I felt an urge to run after Lieutenant Talato and demand the cyagora back off her
“All you need to do is accept,” Finesia continued. “You may have thought you were doing good by blocking me out all this time. But you can’t hide forever, Dragonseer Wells. And yes, the Northern Continent is exactly where you should go. Because, I tell you, you are walking right into my plans.”
The voice went silent in my head, and I waited, expecting more. But I heard only the buzzing of Hummingbird automatons outside and the swooshing of the wind against the secicao branches in the distance.
I decided, for now, that I better put this encounter with Finesia aside. It may, have only been part of my imagination after all.
I swallowed hard air and then I walked towards Velos’ stable. Through my renewed connection to him, I could feel his elation in both his chest and my own. Helmet or no helmet, I hoped I’d never have to sever that bond again.
9
I didn’t leave without saying goodbye to my parents. I found them in the teashop. The cyagora hadn’t just been numbing my mental faculties, but also the way I reacted to my senses. Thus, when I entered, I inhaled the heady aroma of tea leaves, as if experiencing it for the first time.
Normally, the place would have a few punters. But it was admittedly a little early, and so the room only contained Mamo and Papo, both sat at the table in the far corner. Mamo was tapping her fingers on the table and staring out the window. Papo – of course – was reading the Tow Observer, but the magazine was a few days old as Candalmo Segora was busy getting the icebreakers secured up north, and so hadn’t had time to deliver our usual stock.
I hugged Papo first, and he said the same thing he always said when I was going out on a mission – that he wished he could go there in my place, or at least be out there with me. But I think he’d learned by now that his place was here in the fortress. Papo said that Faso would look after me. He’d always seemed to want me to hook up with the arrogant inventor, despite the fact that he and Asinal Winda had a thing going.
Mamo hugged me after that, and she cried in my shoulder a moment and told me how much she’d miss me. She also took note that a little spirit had returned
to me since the previous day. I still hadn’t told my parents about the cyagora and I didn’t intend to.
My parents closed up the teashop so they could see me off. I walked with them towards the courtyard where Velos and a good fifty other dragons were ready to leave. Because I’d stormed out of the briefing, I’d spent a little time in the morning with Gerhaun, catching up on the rest of the plans. We could only take a limited fleet up north, unfortunately, for three reasons.
First, the larger the fleet, the more likely we’d draw attention to ourselves.
Second, despite having three icebreakers, they’d only be able to cut narrow passages through the ice. So, the fewer ships we had, the faster we’d get to Ginlast.
Third, our fastest route out of the Southlands was through the north leg of the Balmano river. The Phasni which ran from East to West had a much wider berth, but would have also increased our estimated journey time from three to five days, as we’d then have to worm our way around the perimeter of the Southlands.
Lieutenant Talato and Taka had already mounted Velos when we got to the courtyard. Taka waved down to my parents from on top of the dragon. He had his gas mask pulled up over his hair and a broad grin on his face. In front of him, Velos kept his head craned high, looking rather proud in his helmet.
“You sure you want to take the boy with you?” Mamo said. “It seems kind of dangerous. I heard the troops talking about it at the tea shop last night, and it seems no one agrees with yours and Gerhaun’s decisions.”
“Mamo, there’s many layers to this, which we can’t explain. But Gerhaun told me all the dragons believe Taka is safest with us.” I didn’t want to tell them he was also there to keep me in check, to calm me if Finesia started running rampant inside my mind. My parents had enough to worry about.
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