by J. A. Saare
"We’ll be back, beag amháin." Noah came to us and mussed the hair on the top of Annabel’s head. He peered down at her, using the most charming weapon in his arsenal, giving her one of his broad smiles. "You have my word."
I’m not sure if God was looking down at that precise moment, but when Annabel moved out of his reach, slapped away his hand and scowled, I knew she’d inherited far more than my face and emerald green peepers.
"Hey! Hands off the hair."
Warm fingers wound gently around my arm, helping me to my feet, and Max gained my attention. "I’ve never forced you to do anything you didn’t want, but if you make a promise to her, you will keep it. Michael told me you don’t have plans to stay, but I won’t have you hurting her. She’s too young to understand the complexities of our history."
"I know how it feels to be abandoned." The statement wasn't meant to be hurtful, just honest. I wasn't angry anymore, just defeated. "I'd never be that cruel. Not to her."
Never to her.
"Why don’t we have dinner tomorrow?" Barbara chimed in from the porch.
I pulled away from Max before he could respond. When I turned, I saw that Noah had moved from Annabel and now stood by my side. It was a protective stance and gesture. Despite his respect for Max’s place as my father, he wouldn’t hesitate to become involved if I needed him.
Exhausted and without recourse, I accepted defeat. "Tomorrow it is."
Taking that as his cue, Noah wrapped an arm around my waist, escorted me around Max, and guided me to the truck. I wanted to shrug him off, but for the sake of making it discreetly to the vehicle, I allowed him to maintain the contact until we made it to my door. When I was safely inside, I glared at him but didn’t say a word. It wasn’t necessarily. He knew how tired I was, and how betrayed I felt. Once again, he hadn’t been totally honest with me. Even if this was something Max had the right to tell me personally, I would have appreciated a heads up before I entered the situation blind and found myself caught off guard.
Especially after the investigation earlier.
Noah watched Max and Annabel climb up the stairs to Barbara. Then he leaned forward, his voice was incredibly soft. "She’s a good kid."
Our gazes met. "I know."
"Do you?"
"Yes, I do."
"You won't hurt her?"
"No, never." Knowing what he meant, I said, "The bond happened. It's done, Noah." I wasn't sure if he'd tricked me and I'd made a fool of myself a second time. In bringing me here to meet her, he'd trapped me in this place in a way I'd never anticipated. "Please, leave me be."
When he didn’t move, looking directly into my eyes, I sighed and turned from him. I settled back in the seat, staring straight ahead. He stood exactly as he was, as if he was tempted to say something more. The relief I experienced when he finally stepped back and closed the door was indescribable. I needed time to sort through all the thoughts racing through my head. I attempted to come to terms with what I’d learned and how the unforeseen revelation would now impact my life.
I had a sister.
The little girl not only resembled me, but she also had a temperament that revealed far more about our connection. We were destined to be alike in numerous ways. Annabel would be strong willed and unrelenting when it came to herself, her family, and the sibling who shared so many of the same traits. Her being born a pure werewolf didn’t matter, it only made things a little more difficult on my part. I’d been told about the ingrained bond, something so pure, absolute, and powerful it could force me to remain with the pack even if I didn’t want to.
Now that we'd met, I couldn't leave her.
Noah had known that.
He climbed into the truck, but he didn’t say another word.
For that, I was more than grateful.
Chapter Seven
When I woke the next morning, snug and warm in Noah’s bed, I was in the same place I’d crashed. Rolling to my side, I discovered Noah had never come upstairs to join me. Two parts of me warred at the knowledge. On one hand, I couldn’t deny the wolfen portion of me who hoped he would sleep beside me, surrounding me with his scent, the heat of his body, and what I once relished as a calming presence. However, as these thoughts came, so did my relationship with Steven, causing me to bask in numbing waves of shame at conceiving of such a thing.
I rolled onto my back, gazed at the ceiling, and found my mind drifting to happier times, before I learned that Noah had manipulated my life in order to stake an irrevocable claim. Once upon a time, we’d have woken up naked and wrapped around each other, stirring only when the other started to wake. Sometimes we’d lie in silence, breathing each other in, content to share the closeness. Other times, we’d simply talk—about work, about the pack, or about our plans for day. More often than not, however, we would greet the dawn in a manner we both appreciated, making love well into the morning.
The pack loved ribbing us about that. Back then, it was just another part of life. The invisible coil around my heart tightened, making it difficult to breathe.
When Noah had come to me the first time, when I'd turned eighteen, he'd been so much older and wiser than me. I couldn’t believe it. He was gorgeous, he was respected, and he made me feel safe. Human males had never looked at me or treated me like he did. When I had been confused about the changes taking place as my wolf responded to his, he'd always found a way to pacify me, ease my fears, and gain my trust. We'd spent hours talking and laughing. We'd also watched movies, went out to dinner, and went for long walks. Dating an alpha was big news in the compound, so it wasn’t long until everyone saw us together and had known what it meant.
Even if I hadn't.
Within a year, he couldn’t wait any longer.
He'd brought me home and taken me to his room.
Then he'd told me he wanted me.
I'd been nervous, timid, and intimidated.
Then he'd touched me, and I was unable to resist temptation.
As he gently peeled off my clothes, he had been slow and gentle, going layer by layer. I'd been nervous but excited. I'd wanted to know what it was like to be with him physically. So had my wolf. We'd both yearned for the intimacy. He'd taken his time, learning the curves of my body, letting me explore the contours on his. Then he'd taught me how to touch him, and found out the various ways I liked to be caressed.
Before long, there had been no fear. Only eagerness.
After that night, I'd gone home, packed my bags, and moved in with Noah and his pack. It should have seemed sudden or abrupt, but for me, it had felt as if some higher power was making amends for the bad things I’d suffered. I hated not being with him, wanting him constantly by my side. He'd been the same, keeping me as close as possible. That had been the reason he'd requested me as his partner, gaining my entrance into the PBI.
Too bad I hadn't been worldly enough to see the truth.
It wasn't romance that had made it happen.
Noah had found his mate, and that was that.
During the time we dated, when we were getting to know each other, he'd made sure his sister, his pack, Michael, his friends, and everyone else told him everything he wanted to know about me. He'd always known where I wanted to go, what I wanted to learn, what I wanted to see. He'd taken me camping in the mountains. Encouraged me to shift and run with him in the meadows.
There had never a dull moment.
Life had been an adventure with Noah leading the way.
I'd thought it was due to the bond we'd created.
Learning it was a façade had torn me apart.
It wasn't fair.
A soft, shrill ring broke the quiet.
I sat up, turned my head, and scrambled for the jeans I’d tossed on the floor just before I climbed into bed. The denim slid from my hands as I wrestled with it, giving me more problems as I tried to sort through the pockets. It took two solid yanks to get the cell phone free, but once I had it, I immediately hit the screen to connect the call. Before I could, a warn
ing flashed, telling me the battery was low.
"Steven?" I went to the closet to retrieve the cord to charge the device. "Can you hear me?"
"Of course." He hesitated and I heard him clear his throat. "Why are you out of breath?"
Deciding honesty was the best policy, I went for broke. "I was busy wrestling with my blue jeans. They gave it their best shot, but I still got the phone."
"You fought your clothing for your phone?" His chuckle made everything seem better. I had always loved Steven’s laugh. While his voice was somewhat husky and deep, his laugh was much softer and lighter. "It’s a shame I wasn’t there to see it."
"True that." I plugged in the charger and placed it on the nightstand. Then I perched on the edge of the mattress. "I’m sure an extra set of hands could have made the entire ordeal much easier."
"Speaking of that." I heard him clear his throat again. "How would you feel about me traveling out there until your restriction is over?"
Panic struck, and I realized something horrible.
It was an awful idea.
With everything that had transpired with Peter, the shooting, and meeting my sister, I had too much to compartmentalize. There were so many decisions to make. It wasn't just about me anymore. I had to mend things with the pack and my family. His presence would complicate things. Everyone would be on guard. I'd have to watch over him and look out for myself.
Why does everything have to be so hard?
As much as I wanted to see him, I felt torn.
"Raven?"
"If you came, you wouldn’t see much of me," I told him softly.
Another pause. "Oh?"
"I'm working on a case for the pack, and there was an attack yesterday. I'm sure I'll be handling that incident as well." I hesitated, wondering if I should be completely honest, and decided telling him the truth was best. I couldn't keep sugarcoating things. "It's pretty bad. A man was changed, but we don't know how. He's been missing for months, so we're not sure of the timeframe. All we do know is he came home and attacked his family. He could have killed them."
If I hadn't killed him first.
Then he was the silent one. "Steven?"
"You shouldn't be anywhere near that." He sounded horrified, and I didn't blame him. "You could have been hurt. That's not part of the agreement I struck with Michael."
"Yes, you did." Steven might not have realized it at the time, but this had been part of the bargain. It was what Michael expected me to do. "I told you I worked cases in the past. You knew Michael wanted my help. I've had to track down rogues and do this very thing before. Sometimes that's simple. Sometimes it isn't. It's the way it is. It's my job."
He didn't say anything. I wondered if my phone had lost reception.
"Steven?"
"I'm here," he whispered hoarsely. "We talked about your life, I thought I understood." He sounded conflicted. "You're so strong, Raven. I've always been fascinated by your strength and resilience. But I never really thought about how you became that way. I knew what you'd been through, but..." He took a deep breath and confessed, "I didn't realize precisely what I'd be sending you back to."
Nor could he.
Steven had interacted with vampires and werewolves when he'd been a stockbroker. He wasn't like many humans. He eagerly took preternatural beings as clients. It was how he'd made his fortune. That was one of the reasons he knew what I was the night he'd come into the basement and found me. He'd been around my kind often enough to know fur matched a shifter's hair color, and the irises didn't change unless a werewolf was provoked.
He was human and lived a human life.
He'd never truly understand werewolves.
No matter how many books he read on the topic.
He'd never know everything about pack life.
I'd shared what I could, but I'd been bound to my word in certain matters. There were many things I couldn't tell him. Only someone with absolute authority, like Michael, could. Werewolves didn't discuss pack eccentricities with humans. Not even with the police or government. There were numerous things the PBI didn't know and never would.
Discussing pack protocol was against the rules.
"It's really not that dangerous." A small lie, but I hoped he wouldn’t call me on it. "I have backup. At all times. You shouldn't worry."
"But I do."
"I know." He wasn't a werewolf, but he was as observant and protective as one. "I don't want to lie to you." The admission was hard but necessary. Things kept tripping me up at a confounding rate. "I never want to."
"Then don't." His tone changed, no longer uncertain. "What's wrong? What happened? I know you're upset. I can hear it in your voice."
I didn't want to deceive him. It felt wrong.
He deserved better.
I had to come clean, but where did I begin?
I started with the most important thing.
"I have a sister, Steven." I was elated but agitated admitting it. "A sweet, adorable sister, that's already walking, talking, and bossing adults around." Guilt assailed me, because her absence in my life was my own fault. "She's going to be six years old. I've missed all that time because I wouldn't do something simple like picking up the phone." I dreaded telling him what that meant. "It's going to change things for me."
It's going to change things for us.
He surprised me when he asked, "What's her name?"
"Annabel."
"When do I meet her?" He didn't waver, ready to take on the challenge.
Relief poured over me, draining tension.
Why hadn't I thought I could tell him this? Or anything else for that matter? It certainly wasn't because he couldn't handle it. The man always found ways to smooth rough patches. In his life and in the lives of others. He'd done so numerous times. Including that very moment. It would be complicated if he came to see me during my time with the pack, but I figured to hell with it. I'd face hurdles like everyone else, one at a time.
I needed something that felt grounded and balanced in my life.
Now more than ever.
Steven was more than my boyfriend and partner.
He was my anchor.
"When can you get here?"
"I hoped you'd ask." The pleasure and happiness in his tone made my insides melt. This I understood. This felt right. "I have to wrap up a few projects, but I'll be done tomorrow. I can book a flight and be there this weekend." He hesitated, and I worried he might be rethinking things. I was going to tell him not to when he informed me, "My bags are packed. I rented a house a few miles away from the compound. In case you said yes."
"You did?"
"Right behind Velma's."
I knew the place he referred to, but I didn't bother asking him how he'd gotten Velma and Vern to rent it to him. I didn't care. The cottage nestled above a winding road once belonged to them. The area provided privacy and access to the town. Steven never ceased to amaze me.
"Best grits in town."
He laughed, and I welcomed the sound. "I'll judge for myself."
"I'll tell Michael."
"He knows. He's known since you left New York."
"What?" That caught me off guard. "How?"
"I told him before you left. I warned him to brace himself. I told him I wouldn't go away." He sounded offended, sighing. "Do you think so little of me, sweetheart? What do you think we talked about?"
Well, damn. "Wow."
Several revelations had stunned me the last few days, but this one wasn't horrid or debilitating. The knowledge was sweet, a welcome relief. I wouldn't have to deal with Michael directly. As long as I kept up with my responsibilities and dealt directly with Noah, I'd be sticking to the terms of our agreement.
Someone knocked on the door, and I didn't have a chance to tell Steven to wait or hang up. Noah entered, took me in, and saw me on the phone. His brows furrowed as his blue eyes narrowed. I thought he'd leave, but he left the door open and stayed put.
"Raven?" Steven questioned. "You there?"
"One second," I replied and lowered the phone into my lap.
"We have to hit the morgue," Noah informed me in a low growl, eying the phone. When I didn't attempt to hang up or rise from the bed, his irises brightened to silver. "You have five minutes."
He didn't slam the door as he left, but it came close.
"Sorry," I apologized as soon as the coast was clear.
"Was that Noah?"
"Yes." I was in Noah's room. He had every right to barge in. Which had me thinking ahead. "Before you get here, think of a safeword."
"A what?"
Steven's amusement and bafflement made me grin. "You know. A safeword or secret code."
"What are you talking about?"
"When you're in danger or need help, you use it."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Women use them all the time at restaurants and bars." He didn't respond and I explained, "When someone goes on a blind date and gets a bad feeling, or thinks the person they're with is dangerous and they feel threatened, they use words to let the staff know. People use them when they're getting hit on and want to be left alone."
"You're serious?"
Bless him. He thought it was a joke.
"It's a polite way to let staff members know you're in trouble without letting the person that's bothering you know what you're up to."
He chuckled and admitted, "I've never heard of that."
"Well, you're a gentleman, so I'm not surprised. A person would never need to use one with you." I rose to collect clothing from my bag and get dressed. Noah had said five minutes, which meant he'd be back in four. "Most places have them, but I don't know them all. The words usually sound like a special drink or a weirdly-worded special. The pub on Fleet Street and Maxwell used to have a drink called Minotaur, but the only people who ordered it wanted to discreetly get out of a bad situation."
"Minotaur?"
"Yep." I tugged on my jeans, then swept a shirt from the bag I'd placed in the closet. "I never had to use it, but I could have if I needed to."
"You're serious?"