Suhail prepared to bolt.
“I seriously wasn’t hitting on you.”
Mark had my back. “He’s a massive flirt and he doesn’t even mean to be.”
“Am not!”
“You don’t remember that first poker night because you were so drunk, but you basically got to third base with Michael’s wife.”
“Did not!”
“We’ll have to ask Mike,” Mark said. He wasn’t bluffing.
“Oh no,” I said suddenly. “Are we still going to poker nights?”
Mark said that we were and that our relationship shouldn’t be a problem with the guys. He offered to cover my buy-in like he had done that first night.
“But we’re... like, together now. Won’t that be weird?”
“We were together back then, too. You just didn’t realize it.”
Thankfully, Survivor started very soon after that. Suhail must have thought we were crazy. I made my guesses as to how long certain players would last before they got voted off the island.
“You’re not allowed to guess anymore. You ruin all the fun,” Mark complained.
“Mark. It’s a TV show. They’re trying to give the contestants character arcs so the viewers get attached to them. You really think the ‘golden boy’ doesn’t do anything wrong and says all the perfect things? Come on. They’re setting him up to make it the distance... maybe right up until the last tribal council. I bet you he gets betrayed right at the end.”
“Nah.” Mark scoffed.
“I’ll bet you.”
“Hard pass.” We watched the immunity challenge and took in the tropical vistas. “Wouldn’t it be so fun to be on this show?” Mark asked. “Would you do it with me, babe?”
“If you stop calling me ‘babe’.”
“Every once in a while they do a couples’ season. We should sign up.”
“Think of all the diseases and the bug bites, and the diseases you get from the bug bites. I don’t think I can do that.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“I can’t make it a month without having an energy crisis. And I would need my meds to feel safe. And then these guys practically starve to death.”
“Shit, I was just trying to have fun. What are the odds we’d actually get chosen? You can back out of it if we were to win the lottery.”
“Why even submit my name if I’m not going to follow through?”
“That’s enough bickering for one day. I miss you,” Mark said.
“Miss you, too.”
“Do you guys ever not bicker?” Suhail asked.
I shrugged. Mark was silent. We watched the end of the show. “It’s going to be a good season,” Mark proclaimed.
“They’ve all been good,” I said, having only seen two of Mark’s favorite seasons.
“Nah. Some are boring as shit.” He turned off his TV in the hotel room. “So what have you been up to while I’ve been gone? What did you get Charlotte?”
“I’ve been working on a book for her and Stacy and the unborn.”
“But what did you buy her? Like a stuffed animal or a doll, what?” He knew me better than to ask that question. “Never mind, I’ll pick something up for her here.”
“I left your credit card in your apartment.”
“You can stay in my apartment if you want... you might sleep better there.”
“I think I’ll do it,” I said honestly. “I miss smelling you. Fuck, I’m so needy. I liked how in the middle of the night I could hear you breathing and it would put me right back to sleep.”
“I liked how I would wake up and your leg would be on top of my body.”
“I always kick my leg out from under the sheets. I’ve always done that.” I looked at him wistfully on the tiny screen. “What have you been up to?”
“Well, I’m missing a kickass party to be here watching Survivor. So there’s that.”
“Thanks. Sorry for cramping your style.”
“I wish you were with me and I could take you out and show you my favorite things in the city.” I told him we would do that someday, but first we would explore Chicago. Mark pressed me on my work habits. “So you’ve been making a book for Stacy and Charlotte? What happened to working ahead on your website articles?”
“I...” Have been skipping on that and my novels and I’m being bad, bad, bad.
“Can you work ahead for me, please? I really want to take you out on the weekends when I’m home. Maybe we can go visit my brother again. They have a camping trip coming up soon.”
“Camping... or wilderness exploring?”
“Camping. They have an RV-camper-thing. But we’ll be in a tent. I’ll get us a nice big one... I know you need your space.”
“Don’t bother. I can get a tent from my uncle. I’ll let him know I need it.”
We chatted on and off for the next half hour with Suhail during the commercial breaks of the next show.
Then I went and hid in my room where we gossiped about Nick, whom I hadn’t seen much of since I moved in. “I don’t know where he goes. I don’t think Suhail does either. He was like that in college, apparently. He quit his job after three months and has been laying low for a while. Suhail says he has something up his sleeve. Nick always has something up his sleeve.”
“Is he a pusher?”
“Like a drug dealer? I didn’t ask. How do you ask someone that?”
“I don’t want you living there,” Mark said quickly. “I don’t know that dude and I don’t want him around you.”
“Relax. He’s not going to sell me drugs.”
“You’re the one who says he has an addictive personality. I don’t want someone like that around you. I’ve got to watch out for you. That’s my job now.”
“You don’t have to worry about Nick. I feel good about him.”
“I don’t want that shit around you.”
“I can handle it if he’s that kinda guy. It’s just you I was so worried about. I would do anything you ask. You barely have to convince me and I’m all in.”
Mark snorted. “That’s so not the way it works.”
“That’s how I see it,” I said brightly.
“I didn’t convince you to come with me to New York.” He frowned at me while I repeated my argument for staying. “I didn’t convince you to get out of that shithole you’re in...”
“I’m not moving in with you—”
“I didn’t ask you to. I’m asking that you move out of there. I don’t care where to.”
“This shitty place matches my shitty car. And I’m already growing fond of the dark walls.”
“You’re germaphobic, claustrophobic, OCD... how the fuck are you living in that place?”
“The living room is very neat and tidy.”
“There was shit everywhere last I saw.”
“It’s clean and tidy now. You saw the couch.”
“You’re nuts. I told you that you would turn into their maid. Why can’t you be my maid?”
“I told you I wasn’t moving in with you.”
“I’m not asking you to!”
“Yes you are! Just in a roundabout way.”
“Quit bickering with me! Suhail is right. You bicker all the time.”
“No, you bicker all the time. I always have to correct you.”
“I love you, babe.”
“Love you, too. Good night. I’ll do an article before bed. How’s that? I’ll have one extra day in advance when you get back.” I hung up the call and looked around my tiny, ugly room. I packed a small bag to go to Mark’s, then locked my door as I left.
“Hey, Suhail. Thanks for letting us use your TV.”
“No problem. Use it anytime you want. Nick and I usually just play games on it or watch Netflix.”
What’s with everyone playing video games... doesn’t anyone read anymore!
“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow sometime. I’m heading over to Mark’s.”
“Didn’t you just get off the phone with him?”
&nbs
p; “Yeah. I’m going to sleep at his place tonight. He has food. He has a computer.” He has a view of the Lake. He has an open, bright living environment.
“Okay. You don’t have to tell me what you’re going to do... Nick definitely doesn’t.” Suhail was at the table playing on his computer. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”
Another one?
“Fire away.”
“Why aren’t you living with him? You clearly want to.”
I waffled and bit my lip. There were arguments that I used with Mark, but talking to Suhail—a stranger—I felt like my reasons were silly. I opted to lay out the biggest, truest objection first: “I haven’t told my parents that I have a boyfriend.”
“Oh. Won’t they like Mark? He seems like a nice guy.”
“Mark is great. I haven’t exactly... ever had a boyfriend before.”
“You haven’t come out to your parents?”
“No. I promised there won’t be any drama while I’m here... but as recently as two weeks ago there was tons of drama between me and Mark.”
“Uh oh.”
“It’s not bad drama. It was me resisting him and him not letting me go. There was a lot of tension. He could see what was good for me, but I didn’t want to see it. I was so scared. And now... I can’t get through a Skype call without sounding like a pathetic, clingy teenager. I’m disgusted with myself, actually.”
“You weren’t gross. I thought you two were pretty chill, actually. Aside from the times you got all gooey.”
“Yeah, we do that. We’re still new and it all feels so intense. I really miss him. Sorry for inadvertently suggesting we should get together, or something. Mark is right, I do just blurt things and don’t think about how they could be misinterpreted in a sexual way.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Would you mind if Mark tries to set you up? He won’t stop talking about it.” Mark had brought it up three times in the last five days.
“I’m not on the market at the moment. I’m still paying off my student loans and am focused on my career.”
“I wasn’t looking either. Then Mark showed up and wouldn’t leave me alone.” I laughed. “Seriously, he would not leave me alone. We started working out. He was nice to me. He’s a lot of fun to be around.”
“Not looking,” Suhail stated again.
“Okay. I’ll keep Mark off your back.”
Suhail gave me a weird look so I thought about what had just popped out of my mouth.
“Shit. I mean I’ll make sure he doesn’t set you up on a date with a girl.”
Suhail laughed with me.
“You could come work out with us some time. I wasn’t much bigger than you when I started. And all this muscle is just four months of training. We do train kind of intensely, and Mark makes sure I eat right, but I think you should join us. It’ll make you feel better, too.”
“I’m fine.”
“Would you go with me when Mark is on assignment?” I decided to refer to Mark’s photoshoots and fashion related stuff as ‘assignments’... like he was in the military or something else super macho.
“Maybe.”
“Awesome, dude.” Shit, why did I just say ‘dude’? “How about I take you to tennis on Saturday? Are you down for that?”
‘R U / 4 that’ was one of Mark’s frequent text messages. I cursed myself for using another one of his phrases. Was I becoming Mark? Get a grip, Chris!
“I’d like that better,” Suhail said. “Do you want to play some Xbox?”
I hesitated. I was not any good at video games. Also, there was that promise to Mark that I would work on my website stuff to give myself some vacation days in the bank.
“Sure,” I agreed. “Take it easy on me. I’m no good.” I ended up staying the night at my apartment (as weird as that sounds for me to say). I lost at every game we tried, but we were simultaneously having meaningful conversations so I wasn’t ready to leave. I always try to have deep conversations... I absolutely despise small talk.
“So what do you do other than work?” I asked.
“Not much at the moment.”
“You need to get out some and live a little,” I said, surprised by my own advice. I had just copped yet another of Mark’s phrases. “I had a friend who was just like you. We were great friends, actually. We both went our separate ways and worked our butts off after college, but our friendship died.”
“I don’t talk to my friends from college like I thought I would. There’s basically just Nick nowadays. And I think he only sticks with me because of the rent situation.”
“I tried to get an apartment with the guy I roomed with in college. He wasn’t having it. He stayed by himself in a tiny studio apartment while he worked off his debt... kind of like you.”
“I get out some,” Suhail said defensively. “But I want to be in a better place financially before I really start letting loose. I have nothing in the bank. I’m in over my head with my payments.”
“I didn’t have any payments after college, so I don’t know what that’s like. I had a great scholarship and I worked for my dad’s business during the summer.”
“Damn, wish I could’ve done that. The best I got was a summer internship at a place that makes heart monitors.”
I chuckled darkly. “I wish I had it your way. I was supposed to have an internship after sophomore year. I was working with my dad the first week of summer... wasn’t even supposed to be there, but he needed to get something done on a Saturday, like usual.” Why bring up that incident? “Fuck. I’m going to need a beer if we keep talking like this.”
“What happened?”
“I had gotten mad at him the year before and said I shouldn’t be helping him anymore. All my friends did internships with these big companies... and I worked construction with my dad. Like... I love my parents, but they don’t get it. You need to put stuff on your resume, not just that you got a degree. You need to have internships and things.” I shook my head and took a long swallow from the beer Suhail handed me. “Actually, I can’t drink this because it has gluten... do you have any vodka? Anyway, I didn’t even use my degree, so I can’t piss and moan too much. So I was there on the Saturday before my internship—steaming mad. He was up on a steep roof which made me even angrier. I had told him to give that shit up. I told him not to take those jobs... but this one was for a family friend. Blah, blah, blah. There’s always a reason.” I took a drink from the vodka on ice which Suhail had just handed me. “I saw him fall eleven feet onto a gravel foundation. He fell between support braces, landed a foot away from a concrete pad and his head was two feet away from a pile of cinder blocks.”
“Fuck. Was he okay?”
“He walked away with barely a scratch. He should have died. His lungs and insides were compressed and he was sore for a month. He spent two days in the hospital so they could check for internal bleeding. He has amnesia of that moment and doesn’t remember how freaky he was acting after it. I remember. I was there. I was a few steps away... might as well have been on the other side of the world for all I could do to stop it. The roof had a cutaway where he slipped, and the morning rain made it tricky to navigate that part. He had a belt on. If the belt had fallen just a little bit either way... paralyzed. Or if his body had twisted two inches in the other direction. If he hadn’t somehow touched the brace as he fell he would have fallen head first... dead.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. I had to cancel my internship and take over duties for all my dad’s summer jobs. I ran the crew for about a month. It fucking sucked. I was so pissed at him.”
“I can imagine.”
“What were we talking about before?” I asked, unsure of how I had wandered down that rabbit hole.
“I don’t remember. Want to play another game?”
“Sure. That’s it, we were talking about college friends. You gotta get out and do stuff... you don’t know when it could be over. Or you could end up with a disabling disease. Anything could h
appen.”
“I’ll play tennis with you.”
“That’s not what I was getting at, but that sounds great. You remind me of Travis, my buddy from college. He’s a computer scientist, too.”
“Cool. Was he your boyfriend?” Suhail asked.
I barked out a laugh. “I guess I did love him,” I admitted. “In a brotherly way. That’s part of why I missed him when he disappeared on me. But to answer your question: no. There was no one before Mark, and I doubt there will be anyone after. It was a very special circumstance that led to us getting together.”
“Drama,” Suhail said with a quirk in his eyebrow.
“I tried my hardest to get rid of him, but Mark wouldn’t go away. Now I’m stuck with him. And I transform into a whiny little girl when he’s away. I like having my alone time, but I like being with him more.”
“Thanks for keeping the Skype sex in your room.”
I grinned. “We don’t do that,” I assured him. But then I thought about the context of the Skype call and texted Mark a question.
= Did you want to have Skype sex? =
~YESSS!~
~GET ONLINE NOW~
= lol, Suhail wondered =
= ttyl =
~fucking sushi~
~type I meant su hail~
~typo~
“Mark just called you ‘sushi’,” I relayed. “Don’t worry. He calls me food names, too.”
“As long as he doesn't try to suck my dick, we’ll be okay.”
“He’s not like that,” I said. “Actually. He probably is... but I’ll keep him off your back.”
“Literally, this time.”
I nodded once. “Literally.”
“Nice.”
Nick wandered in the apartment as I was about to give up and head into my room to work. I felt guilty about not working ahead on my website stuff as promised. I needed to analyze the source of this procrastination. It couldn’t be that I preferred staying home instead of going out with Mark. I wanted to make Mark happy, and that meant building up vacation days. What’s holding me back? Maybe these guys are just more interesting? Maybe Mark was demanding too much of my time?
“Hey Nick,” I said.
“Hey yourself, fella.”
“No ladies tonight?” Suhail asked.
“Guess I struck out.” He reeked of marijuana.
The Lover (It's Just Us Here Book 4) Page 8