The kids had had breakfast while we showered so Mark and I ate quickly, then we played games. I brought out my card game. We played on teams. Caleb obviously took Mark. I got Gabby.
“When are you going to finish my book?” Gabby asked shyly.
“He’s been working on another one first,” Mark explained. “We’re going to have a big book release party for his novel, then he’ll have plenty of time to finish your book. Right?”
“Right,” I agreed. “But I’m not having a party. We’ve been over this.”
“I’m throwing you a party, and that’s final.”
I didn’t argue with him in front of the kids. Instead, I explained my matching game and how it worked. It was very simple to play. Denise and Keegan joined us for the second round. It was a speed matching game that everyone—including a sometimes frustrated Caleb—could participate in.
“See, that wasn’t impossible to play,” I said to Mark. He agreed that it wasn’t. Keegan wanted his own set of cards. I said it cost thirty dollars for me to print the game and have it shipped. Keegan handed me forty dollars on the spot.
It was embarrassing. I have never enjoyed selling my own wares. I’ve gotten better as I’ve gotten older and as my product list has grown... and as I’ve gotten less emotional about the older projects. I no longer have one precious project to worry about—I have dozens to spread out my anxieties.
THE RAIN STOPPED. We needed to check out of the campsite by noon—less than an hour away.
“We should go check on the sandcastle,” Mark said, like a dunce.
We don’t have time for that! Now Caleb is going to go crazy!
“Yeah!” Caleb yelled. “Daddy, can you take us to the beach... please, please, please, please.”
“No,” Keegan said. “And don’t bother your mother. We need to clean up the campsite. And you need to help.”
Caleb pouted.
“Maybe we could bike over,” Mark suggested. “What do you think, Chris? You want to go for a bike ride?”
What the fuck! No! You’re going to get the kids yelled at!
“I don’t think so,” I said. “We have to take down the tent.”
“Please, please, please, please,” Mark begged.
What are you getting at, dunce?
“Keegan hasn’t put the bikes away yet. This might be the last time to teach Caleb how to ride a bike!”
“I can ride my bike,” Caleb said stubbornly.
“See! He can ride a bike. Can we please go down to the beach?”
“Okay,” I relented with a sigh, finally understanding what Mark was doing. “But Caleb hasn’t ever biked on the road before. How will he—”
“You can hook up the third wheel!” Caleb shouted, clutching at Mark’s leg. “Please, Uncle Mark... please.”
“That will take too much time,” Mark said sadly. “We’re going to have to go on your bike, or not at all.”
Caleb decided to try riding his bike again. He got his helmet. We walked his bike to the wet grass. He was ready.
Mark stood behind him and grabbed the seat. “Not you,” Caleb said. He pointed at me. “Him.”
“Me?” I was flabbergasted. “Why do you want me?”
“You won’t let go of me, will you?”
“No,” I promised. I told Mark to walk to the other side of the field. “Are you scared,” I asked Caleb. He claimed he wasn’t—I was. “Here’s what I’m going to do... you see that tree right there, in the middle of the field?”
Caleb nodded.
“When we get there, I’m going to let you pedal on your own. I’ll be running right behind you, but you’re going to be steering and pedaling all on your own, okay?”
“I don’t want to.”
“If you can’t do it in the grass, then we won’t let you try it on the road. It’s easier to ride bikes on the road, but it hurts more if you fall.” I gave him a tap on the shoulder. “You were riding by yourself yesterday just fine. Mark barely touched your seat.”
“You’ll hold my seat, won’t you?”
“I will. But when we get to that tree, you’re going to be doing it by yourself. You’ll ride to Mark and he’ll help you stop. Stopping is the hardest part.” That and starting. Shit, kid... it’s not hard to ride a bike!
Caleb took a steadying breath. We rode through the grass and Caleb didn’t fall over—he did just fine. So fine that he didn’t believe that I had let go of his seat. We made Mark walk away from us again (which put Mark in a grumpy mood) and did it again.
The second time, I stopped running when I let go. Caleb made it to Mark and when he turned around and saw me in the distance, he was ecstatic.
We practiced a few more times, then we tried it on our little cul-de-sac. Caleb did fine. He aimed for every puddle on the asphalt, but other than that I would have given him an A+.
Gabby stood shyly by the campsite with her helmet on her head and her bike propped on her leg. Keegan helped her get in the seat.
“What’s wrong, Gabby?” I asked.
“The last time she road a bike, she broke her arm.”
Gabby nodded with her eyes averted.
And ended up in the hospital with a scary infection.
“Do you want to put the third wheel on this bike?” I was riding Denise’s bike, the one that usually had the third wheel.
Gabby stared at her brother swooping around the cul-de-sac with Mark. She shook her head.
“We can practice in the grass.”
She shook her head again. She was wearing elbow pads, knee pads, and a look of great determination. Keegan helped her get started on the bike. She wobbled at first, but then her body remembered how to balance. We biked in that little circle for five minutes. Then we all stopped at the campsite—Caleb rolled into the grass before breaking and almost falling.
“We’re heading to the beach,” Mark announced.
“Yeah!” Caleb said authoritatively. “We’re heading to the beach.”
“Okay,” Denise said. “Be safe. Here’s a bag of goodies.” She handed the bag to me. “You two had your fun this morning,” she said to me as I took the bag. “Keep Caleb occupied for a few minutes when you get to the beach.”
I nodded my head, unsure of what to say. What a strange request. How embarrassing that she knew what we had done!
Mark and I had been very lovey-dovey while we played games in their camper, apparently too lovey-dovey. We had sat next to each other and used every opportunity to touch each other and smile. Mark knew I needed to cuddle after we had sex—that was the only reason sex-stuff was acceptable to me...
We made it to the beach. Gabby wanted to lock our bikes. Mark said no one would touch them. We piled them together and walked the mostly deserted beach. Our sandcastle was obliterated with tiny footprints. Caleb was mad and wanted to build another one.
“Next time,” I said.
“This is our last camping trip until next year!” Caleb shouted.
“We’ll just have to build another castle next year. Imagine how much bigger we can make it if we have a real beach like on Lake Michigan?”
Caleb jumped up and down. “Are you coming to Great-Grandma’s, Chris? Are you going to be there? Uncle Mark, are you taking Chris to Great-Grandma’s?”
“I’ll have to see what Chris is doing that weekend, but I would very much like to.” Mark held my hand. We continued strolling down the beach. “We should head back, or your mom is going to kill me.”
“Uh...” I whispered. “Denise asked for a few extra minutes alone. Maybe we should walk a little farther.”
“You dirty dog,” Mark teased.
“She said—”
“I asked her for a few minutes this morning. Honestly, you think I’d let a kid see us doing shit?” He kissed me on the cheek. “Sometimes you can be really stupid, you know that?”
“I thought we weren’t using that word?”
“No, you aren’t allowed to use that word. I can still call it like I see it.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Guys, can you hurry up?” Caleb called from up the beach. “I want to ride my bike again!”
“We’ll take the long way back,” Mark said to me.
Mark and I knew all about taking the long way. I might never be the kind of person who can jump into bed at the drop of the hat, but Mark was patient with me and he was learning what it took to get me warmed up. Sometimes a passionate surprise after a few days of withholding worked best. Sometimes, as he was about to learn, a schedule worked best... I really do love my lists and schedules and routines.
Survivor
[WARNING: This next memory established a new Wednesday routine in my relationship with Mark. Previously, our Wednesdays consisted of us going to the gym with the work crowd and later watching Survivor at his place.
So far, Dear Reader, there has been nothing that needs a trigger warning about the normal Wednesday I just described... but the Wednesday after camping with his brother up in Wisconsin... Mark fucked me. Mark really, really fucked me.]
WE GOT BACK FROM THE gym and were lounging around. I had done all my work in the morning and worked extra hard to finish another ‘plus one’ day. I was back to having four vacation days built up after taking the one during our camping trip.
Mark lounged on the couch and watched the Cubs game. He asked me what I wanted for dinner. We chatted. We continued watching the game. The third inning was over and the commercials were rolling. Mark scrolled through something on his smartphone.
“I think you should fuck me today.”
Mark’s entire body froze. His eyes creaked as they looked upwards to the TV, unable to make eye contact with me. “What are you talking about?” he asked in a low voice.
My confidence wavered. “I think we should have a day where we have sex. That way I can prepare for it. I’ve been thinking about it. I think Wednesday is best.”
His neck shifted. His head turned even more slowly towards me. “It doesn't work like that,” he said. “It’s not a duty you have to perform. You don’t need to have a checklist of things to make me happy.”
“I think you should do it today. I’m ready.”
“You’re not. This isn’t how it works. This is weird. Sex just happens... you shouldn’t try to schedule it.” His mouth was saying one thing, but his eyes were boring holes through my body, like how he looked at me right before he would make up an excuse to slap my butt or push me against a wall.
I stared at his bulge... and it was bulging.
“Babe,” I said, knowing how that word affected him. “We can skip watching the game... or maybe we should do it before bed? I think I’d prefer doing it in the day. Then I could see your face without needing the lights on.” I touched his face.
Mark twitched like my fingers had shocked him. He shook his head and kept his distance from me.
I leaned against him and, for once, he was the one to pull away.
“No,” he gulped. He tried to disguise his bulge. “This isn’t how it works. I don’t want you to do it like this.”
I kissed him on the cheek and spoke to him in a husky, silly voice. This was the same voice that had made him laugh... right before he carried me to the bed, threw me down, and sucked me off. We had also been apart for a week before that incident... but the husky voice probably had something to do with his aggression.
Mark stood and abandoned me on the couch. “That’s not funny. It makes me feel dirty... this isn’t right, okay? Stop acting like that.”
“Okay.” I meowed.
“Cut that shit. It isn’t funny.”
“Come sit by me,” I offered without purring.
“You aren’t going to go crazy on me?”
“No crazier than usual.”
He sat beside me and I leaned against him. This time he accepted me and wrapped his arm around my back. Mark didn’t kiss me, however. I laid my hand on his lap and he patiently removed it.
His bulge was still bulging.
We watched the game.
“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” I said. “Then we can start dinner?”
“Sounds good, babe. At the end of the fifth. Then we can watch the end of the game as we eat.”
I kissed him on the cheek. My heart was racing. I knew what I was going to do. In fact, I had meticulously planned it out. Mark and I had tried having sex before... I knew what it felt like with him. It wasn’t bad. I wouldn’t ever seek it out or need it... but I knew Mark needed it. I knew it made him feel close to me.
I was slightly confused as to why he hadn’t wanted to fuck me when I suggested it earlier. I had given it a ninety-five percent chance that he would either take me right there on the couch or that he would pick me up and throw me on his bed like he did the last time.
He surprised me by taking the five percent option. But I wasn’t without a backup plan.
I knew what I had to do.
So I got ready in the bathroom. My clothes fell to the ground. There were condoms in the side table by the couch—I had double checked yesterday and made sure there was enough lube in the drawer, too.
I studied myself in the mirror before walking back out to the living room. I was naked—completely. My hair was done how he wanted it. My beard was trimmed. My pubes were trimmed and my balls were clean. (He had trimmed my junk one night before we went camping. I was so nervous, but his hands were warm and gentle. He said that the next time he sucked my cock that he didn’t want to get a mouth full of pubes... so Mark got his wish on that one, apparently.)
My abs and chest were defined from our workout earlier in the day. My arms looked swollen. I flicked my left nipple, imagining it was his tongue.
It’s okay. This is going to be okay. This is going to work. It is better to do it this way. This way, you are in control. You decide when it happens.
I was working myself up. I needed to go out to him before the anticipation drove me completely nuts. I could do this. He wouldn’t reject me. Not this time, and not this way.
I left the bathroom and took a detour to the refrigerator. “What took you so long?” Mark called to me. He glanced in my direction, but didn’t stare at my bare chest. He couldn’t see that I was completely nude because I was hidden behind the island. “I thought you got stuck in the toilet. Bases are loaded. We can actually take the lead!”
“You want something to drink?” I asked.
“Just water.”
I filled a glass cup with ice and water, then took a deep, steadying breath.
I walked out to the couch—naked. My stride was forced and awkward. I tried to act casual even though I was burning up on the inside. I felt so embarrassed. What the hell am I doing!!
My hips crossed into his peripheral vision. I watched him with a laser-like focus. I wanted to see the exact moment he figured out I was naked.
He saw me as I passed the end table. The Cubs were at a critical point in the game, but for Mark, the Cubs were suddenly gone... background noise. All his previous reservations were gone. Everything was gone except my naked body with my full cock flopping nicely from side to side. My cock was just over three inches when completely soft. When full, it swelled up to between four and five. And when it got hard, it got even bigger than that. Mark loved to see me right before I got hard.
“I’ve got your water,” I said.
“Wha—”
I set the water on the end table, then expertly slid the condoms and the lube out of the drawer.
He watched me rapturously. I turned off the TV, then looked back at him.
“You don’t have to do this,” he whispered huskily.
I didn’t respond other than to straddle his hips while moving as sensuously as my nerdy body would allow. I closed my eyes and kissed him slowly. He moaned deeply. I felt his cock at full mast in his pants.
“Babe...” he whispered. “Chris, you don’t have to do this.”
Yes I do. I have to do it for you and I have to prov
e to myself that I can do it. I kissed him slowly again and insistently pulled at his shirt since he seemed incapable of undressing.
He looked at me with a mix of tenderness and pure lust. I could see the conflicting thoughts in his eyes. He was in heaven. He couldn’t believe this was really happening. He knew that I didn’t act like this—that I wasn’t comfortable doing this stuff.
I kissed him again. “I love you, babe.”
“Oh God, Chris. Oh fuck yes. Oh, babe.”
I unbuttoned his jeans and he moaned even louder.
I lifted my body off his so that we could get his jeans past his hips. I managed to do that while keeping a leg on either side of his body.
“Oh, oo, oo. Babe.” He lost it and grabbed me, forcing me into his chest. He kissed me frantically and passionately. His hands came alive. He wasn’t dreaming anymore—he was ready for action.
He kicked his legs to get rid of the jeans. Finally, Mark was down to his underwear—his severely bulging underwear.
Okay, Chris. Okay. Okay... Come on. You’re ready for this. Okay. Okay.
I touched the bulge.
“Yeah, babe,” he breathed. “Fuck, you are so fucking hot. Oh my God.” He bit into my neck.
“No hickies!”
He unglued his mouth from my body. I wiped the spot. He smiled at me like a fool. I felt the golden swirls in my stomach again—I loved that smile. So perfect.
I tucked my fingers in the waistband and pulled his boxers over his cock.
“You don’t have to do this,” he breathed.
I stripped the boxers off his legs. Yes I do. I unrolled the condom down his shaft, then lubed him up. I squatted over him and braced myself to slide down his dick.
I’m in control.
“No! Babe, no. Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself.” I pushed through his urgent pleas and his hands. “Chris. Stop. You aren’t loose. I can’t go in dry like this. It’s gonna hurt!”
“I’m fine,” I said. “I did it myself. I used your dildo in the bathroom.”
The Lover (It's Just Us Here Book 4) Page 16