Tigers for Dinner: Tall Tales by Jim Corbett's Khansama

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Tigers for Dinner: Tall Tales by Jim Corbett's Khansama Page 2

by Ruskin Bond


  singed its whiskers too. Tigers don’t like losing their

  whiskers, just like army generals!’

  ‘So what happened?’

  ‘It let out a roar, leapt into the air, fell backwards

  into the fire, let out another roar, and fled into the

  jungle. For an hour or more we could hear it roaring

  with agony.’

  ‘You were very brave, Mehmoud. What did

  everyone say when you told them what you had

  done?’

  ‘They didn’t believe me,

  baba. They said I was making

  it all up; that the tiger had taken off after burning

  its paw in the fire. I showed Carpet-sahib the tiger’s

  whiskers stuck to the bottom of my frying pan, but

  he only laughed and said I could serve tiger soup

  for dinner.’

  ‘But you were a hero, Mehmoud!’

  ‘Yes, baba, I’m glad you think so. Have another

  kofta.’

  ‘They didn’t believe me,

  baba. They said I was making

  it all up; that the tiger had taken off after burning

  its paw in the fire. I showed Carpet-sahib the tiger’s

  whiskers stuck to the bottom of my frying pan, but

  he only laughed and said I could serve tiger soup

  for dinner.’

  ‘But you were a hero, Mehmoud!’

  ‘Yes, baba, I’m glad you think so. Have another

  kofta.’

  .2.

  EXCITING ENCOUNTERS

  The following day, Mehmoud was making

  lamb chops. I liked lamb chops. Mehmoud

  knew I liked them, and he had an extra chop

  ready for me, just in case I felt like a pre-lunch snack.

  ‘What was Jim Corbett’s favourite dish?’ I asked,

  while dealing with the succulent chop.

  ‘Oh, he liked roast duck. Used to shoot them as

  they flew up from the jheel.’

  ‘What’s a jheel, Mehmoud?’

  ‘A shallow sort of lake. In places you could walk

  about in the water. Different types of birds would

  come there in the winter—ducks and geese and all

  The following day, Mehmoud was making

  lamb chops. I liked lamb chops. Mehmoud

  knew I liked them, and he had an extra chop

  ready for me, just in case I felt like a pre-lunch snack.

  ‘What was Jim Corbett’s favourite dish?’ I asked,

  while dealing with the succulent chop.

  ‘Oh, he liked roast duck. Used to shoot them as

  they flew up from the jheel.’

  ‘What’s a jheel, Mehmoud?’

  ‘A shallow sort of lake. In places you could walk

  about in the water. Different types of birds would

  come there in the winter—ducks and geese and all

  kinds of baglas—herons, you call them. The baglas

  are not good to eat, but the ducks make a fine roast.

  ‘So we camped beside the jheel and lived on roast

  duck for a week until everyone was sick of it.’

  ‘Did you go swimming in the jheel?’

  ‘No, it was full of muggers—those long-nosed

  crocodiles—they’ll snap you up if you come within

  their range! Nasty creatures, those muggermuch. One

  of them nearly got me.’

  ‘How did that happen, Mehmoud-bhai?’

  ‘Oh, baba, just the memory of it makes me

  shudder! I’d given everyone their dinner and retired

  to my tent. It was a hot night and we couldn’t sleep.

  Swarms of mosquitoes rose from the jheel, invaded

  the tent, and attacked me on the face and arms and

  feet. I dragged my camp cot outside the tent, hoping

  kinds of baglas—herons, you call them. The baglas

  are not good to eat, but the ducks make a fine roast.

  ‘So we camped beside the jheel and lived on roast

  duck for a week until everyone was sick of it.’

  ‘Did you go swimming in the jheel?’

  ‘No, it was full of muggers—those long-nosed

  crocodiles—they’ll snap you up if you come within

  their range! Nasty creatures, those muggermuch. One

  of them nearly got me.’

  ‘How did that happen, Mehmoud-bhai?’

  ‘Oh, baba, just the memory of it makes me

  shudder! I’d given everyone their dinner and retired

  to my tent. It was a hot night and we couldn’t sleep.

  Swarms of mosquitoes rose from the jheel, invaded

  the tent, and attacked me on the face and arms and

  feet. I dragged my camp cot outside the tent, hoping

  the breeze would keep the mosquitoes away. After

  some time they moved on, and I fell asleep, wrapped

  up in my bedsheet. Towards dawn, I felt my cot

  quivering, shaking. Was it an earthquake? But no one

  else was awake. And then the cot started moving! I

  sat up, looked about me. The cot was moving steadily

  forward in the direction of

  the water. And beneath

  it, holding us up, was a

  beastly crocodile!

  the breeze would keep the mosquitoes away. After

  some time they moved on, and I fell asleep, wrapped

  up in my bedsheet. Towards dawn, I felt my cot

  quivering, shaking. Was it an earthquake? But no one

  else was awake. And then the cot started moving! I

  sat up, looked about me. The cot was moving steadily

  forward in the direction of

  the water. And beneath

  it, holding us up, was a

  beastly crocodile!

  ‘It gave me the fright of my life, baba. A muggermuch

  beneath my bed, and I upon it! I cried out for help.

  Carpet-sahib woke up, rushed out of his tent, his gun

  in his hands. But it was still dark, and all he could see

  was my bed moving rapidly towards the jheel.

  ‘Just before we struck the water, I leapt from

  the cot, and ran up the bank, calling for help.

  Carpet-sahib saw me then. He ran down the slope,

  firing at the moving cot. I don’t know if he hit the

  horrible creature, but there was a big splash, and it

  disappeared into the jheel.’

  ‘And did you recover the cot?’

  ‘No, it floated away and then sank. We did not

  go after it.’

  ‘And what did Corbett say afterwards?’

  ‘He said I had shown great presence of mind. He said

  ‘It gave me the fright of my life, baba. A muggermuch

  beneath my bed, and I upon it! I cried out for help.

  Carpet-sahib woke up, rushed out of his tent, his gun

  in his hands. But it was still dark, and all he could see

  was my bed moving rapidly towards the jheel.

  ‘Just before we struck the water, I leapt from

  the cot, and ran up the bank, calling for help.

  Carpet-sahib saw me then. He ran down the slope,

  firing at the moving cot. I don’t know if he hit the

  horrible creature, but there was a big splash, and it

  disappeared into the jheel.’

  ‘And did you recover the cot?’

  ‘No, it floated away and then sank. We did not

  go after it.’

  ‘And what did Corbett say afterwards?’

  ‘He said I had shown great presence of mind. He said

  he’d never seen anyone make such a leap for safety!’

  ‘You were a hero, Mehmoud!’

  ‘Thank you, baba. There’s time for another lamb

/>   chop, if you’re hungry.’

  ‘I’m hungry,’ I said. ‘There’s still an hour left to

  lunchtime. But tell me more about your time with

  Jim Corbett. Did he like your cooking?’

  ‘Oh, he liked it well enough, but his sister was

  very fussy.’

  ‘He had his sister with him?’

  ‘That’s right. He never married, so his sister looked

  after the household and the shopping and everything

  connected to the kitchen—except when we were in

  camp. Then I had a free hand. Carpet-sahib wasn’t

  too fussy about his food, especially when he was

  out hunting. A sandwich or paratha would keep him

  he’d never seen anyone make such a leap for safety!’

  ‘You were a hero, Mehmoud!’

  ‘Thank you, baba. There’s time for another lamb

  chop, if you’re hungry.’

  ‘I’m hungry,’ I said. ‘There’s still an hour left to

  lunchtime. But tell me more about your time with

  Jim Corbett. Did he like your cooking?’

  ‘Oh, he liked it well enough, but his sister was

  very fussy.’

  ‘He had his sister with him?’

  ‘That’s right. He never married, so his sister looked

  after the household and the shopping and everything

  connected to the kitchen—except when we were in

  camp. Then I had a free hand. Carpet-sahib wasn’t

  too fussy about his food, especially when he was

  out hunting. A sandwich or paratha would keep him

  going. But if he had guests, he felt he had to give them

  the best, and then it was hard work for me.

  ‘For instance, there was the Raja of Janakpur, a big,

  fat man who was very fond of eating—between meals,

  during meals and after meals. I don’t know why he

  bothered to come on these shikar trips when he

  could have stayed at home in his palace and feasted

  day and night. But he needed trophies to hang on

  the walls of his palace. You were not considered a

  great king unless your walls were decorated with

  the stuffed heads of tigers, lions, antelopes, bears—

  anything that looked dangerous. The Raja could eat

  and drink all day, but he couldn’t go home without

  a trophy. So he would be hoisted on to an elephant,

  and sit there in state, firing away at anything that

  moved in the jungle. He seldom shot anything, but

  Carpet-sahib would help him out by bringing down

  a stag or a leopard, and congratulating the Raja on

  his skill and accuracy.

  ‘They weren’t all like that, but some of the rajas

  were stupid or even mad. And the Angrej-sahibs—

  bothered to come on these shikar trips when he

  could have stayed at home in his palace and feasted

  day and night. But he needed trophies to hang on

  the walls of his palace. You were not considered a

  great king unless your walls were decorated with

  the stuffed heads of tigers, lions, antelopes, bears—

  anything that looked dangerous. The Raja could eat

  and drink all day, but he couldn’t go home without

  a trophy. So he would be hoisted on to an elephant,

  and sit there in state, firing away at anything that

  moved in the jungle. He seldom shot anything, but

  Carpet-sahib would help him out by bringing down

  a stag or a leopard, and congratulating the Raja on

  his skill and accuracy.

  ‘They weren’t all like that, but some of the rajas

  were stupid or even mad. And the Angrej-sahibs—

  the English—were no better. They too had to prove

  their manliness by shooting a tiger or a leopard.

  Carpet-sahib was always in demand, because he

  lived at the edge of the jungle and knew where to

  look for different animals.

  ‘The Raja of Janakpur was safe on an elephant,

  but one day he made the mistake of walking into

  the jungle on foot. He hadn’t gone far when he met

  a wild boar running at him. A wild boar may not

  look very dangerous, but it has deadly tusks and is

  quick to use them. Before the Raja could raise the

  gun to his shoulder, the pig charged at him. The Raja

  dropped his gun, turned and ran for his life. But he

  couldn’t run very fast or very far. He tripped and fell,

  and the boar was almost upon him when I happened

  along, looking for twigs to make a fire. Luckily, I had

  the English—were no better. They too had to prove

  their manliness by shooting a tiger or a leopard.

  Carpet-sahib was always in demand, because he

  lived at the edge of the jungle and knew where to

  look for different animals.

  ‘The Raja of Janakpur was safe on an elephant,

  but one day he made the mistake of walking into

  the jungle on foot. He hadn’t gone far when he met

  a wild boar running at him. A wild boar may not

  look very dangerous, but it has deadly tusks and is

  quick to use them. Before the Raja could raise the

  gun to his shoulder, the pig charged at him. The Raja

  dropped his gun, turned and ran for his life. But he

  couldn’t run very fast or very far. He tripped and fell,

  and the boar was almost upon him when I happened

  along, looking for twigs to make a fire. Luckily, I had

  a small axe in my hand. I struck the boar over the

  head. It turned and rammed one of its tusks into my

  thigh. I struck at it again and again, till it fell dead at

  my feet. The Raja was nowhere in sight.

  ‘As soon as he got into camp, he sent for his

  servants and made a hurried departure. Didn’t even

  thank me for saving his life.’

  ‘Were you hurt badly, Mehmoud?’

  ‘I was out of action for a few days. The wound took

  time to heal. My new masalchi did all the cooking,

  and the food was so bad that most of the guests left

  in a hurry. I still have the scar. See, baba!’

  Mehmoud drew up his pyjamas and showed me

  a deep scar on his right thigh.

  ‘You were a hero, Mehmoud,’ I said. ‘You deserved

  a reward.’

  ‘My reward is here, baba, preparing these lamb

  chops for you. Come on, have another. Your parents

  won’t notice if they run short at lunch.’

  ‘As soon as he got into camp, he sent for his

  servants and made a hurried departure. Didn’t even

  thank me for saving his life.’

  ‘Were you hurt badly, Mehmoud?’

  ‘I was out of action for a few days. The wound took

  time to heal. My new masalchi did all the cooking,

  and the food was so bad that most of the guests left

  in a hurry. I still have the scar. See, baba!’

  Mehmoud drew up his pyjamas and showed me

  a deep scar on his right thigh.

  ‘You were a hero, Mehmoud,’ I said. ‘You deserved

  a reward.’

  ‘My reward is here, baba, preparing these lamb

  chops for you. Come on, have another. Your parents

  won’t notice if they run short at lunch.’

  .3.

  ‘Good Shot, Mehmoud!’

  It was a long, hot summer that year, but a summer

  in the plains has its compensations�
�such as

  mangoes and melons and lychees and custard

  apples. The fruit-seller came to our house every day,

  a basket of fresh fruit balanced on his head. One

  morning, I entered the kitchen to find a bucket full

  of mangoes, and Mehmoud busy making a large jug

  of mango milkshake.

  ‘Pass me some ice, baba, you’ll find it in the

  It was a long, hot summer that year, but a summer

  in the plains has its compensations—such as

  mangoes and melons and lychees and custard

  apples. The fruit-seller came to our house every day,

  a basket of fresh fruit balanced on his head. One

  morning, I entered the kitchen to find a bucket full

  of mangoes, and Mehmoud busy making a large jug

  of mango milkshake.

  ‘Pass me some ice, baba, you’ll find it in the

  bucket. You can have a milkshake now, and another

  with your lunch. Carpet-sahib thought highly of my

  milkshakes. During the mango season, he’d have

  two glasses of mango milkshake first thing in the

  morning, and then he’d go out and shoot a tiger!’

  ‘Did you ever shoot a tiger?’ I asked, accepting a

  glass from Mehmoud and adding a chunk of ice to

  the milkshake.

  ‘I shot a leopard once,’ said Mehmoud. ‘I wasn’t

  supposed to touch the guns, but one morning, after

  his milkshake, Carpet-sahib said I could accompany

  him into the jungle, provided I brought along a large

  thermos full of mango milkshake. It was a hot, humid

  morning and Carpet-sahib was soon feeling thirsty.

  ‘“Hold my rifle, Mehmoud, while I have a drink,”

  he said, and he handed me his gun and took the

  bucket. You can have a milkshake now, and another

  with your lunch. Carpet-sahib thought highly of my

  milkshakes. During the mango season, he’d have

  two glasses of mango milkshake first thing in the

 

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