by Heather Karn
I squeaked when the water flowed around my body, pulling the grossness from my clothes and hair before tendril after tendril made its way back to the sink and down the drain. When she was done, Luella grinned at us and I wiped my hands over my clothes. They were dry. Every speck of the disgusting mess was gone, as was every ounce of water.
Luella’s grin lasted until she caught sight of my hand. “Raven, it bit her.”
“What?” he barked, turning me with dizzying force. “Where?”
I lifted my hand. Blood oozed from the wound and Raven’s nostrils twitched. He opened his mouth, but Luella cut off whatever he planned to say.
“There’s some bandages in the SUV. Let’s get her home. I think Koda has had enough attacks for the night, and that includes you, Captain. I’ll stay here with Shannon and Jackson. You and Avery take the youngsters home and calm them.” She held Raven’s stare for several seconds before he nodded. I wouldn’t have been able to hold that stare. In fact, I didn’t even try. He was raging, and I knew without him saying it that I was the cause. I should have just wet myself in the car and saved us all this trouble.
“Can you stand?” Raven growled, and I nodded without looking at him, unsure if I could stand or not, but I’d give it my best effort.
Grabbing the toilet paper dispenser, I used it to help pull me to my feet. When my legs didn’t buckle, I took a steadying breath. Now came the sarcastically fun part. He’d asked if I could stand, but he hadn’t asked about walking. My legs were so unsteady standing there, I doubted they’d hold me if I attempted to move.
Behind me, Luella mouthed something to Raven. I couldn’t see her lips move, but I heard them as her mouth opened and closed. He grunted, and I found myself being cradled against his hard chest a second later. The position made me feel weak, childish, and even more pathetic, and I wanted to break into another bout of tears, but I refused to cry anymore in front of him. Raven was likely regretting the situation he’d gotten himself into when he volunteered to take me. Tonight he’d seen his mistake.
“Close your eyes,” he warned before stepping from the bathroom. I did as he ordered, even turning my face into his shirt and squeezing my eyes shut. It stopped the sight from greeting me again, but it couldn’t stop the smell. By the time I held my breath, we’d escaped the building and a light breeze surrounded us.
A car door opened, and Raven sat me down on the co-pilots seat while Avery and Lee climbed in the back. When my trainer slammed the door shut, I buckled my seatbelt as he rounded the front of the SUV and took his place behind the wheel. I couldn’t make myself look at him, but his stiff and abrupt movements were enough to know he was still furious. Everyone was silent as we pulled away and headed for home. If it was even going to continue to be my home after tonight.
I’d expected a barrage of questions to begin the moment we left the gas station, but the other occupants of the car were subdued and silent. I hadn’t seen much of Avery’s face, but what I had seen let me know he wasn’t nearly as upset and angry as Raven. Then again, his trainee hadn’t been the one on the wrong side of the door. Lee was pale and worried, likely about me more than himself. Not that he had to worry about his future. He hadn’t been the one to go inside, disobeying orders. In fact, he’d been the one to try and stop me.
Closing my eyes, I leaned my head against the window and fought to think of nothing. It was difficult. Every few seconds my brain tried to replay the fight like it was on some movie reel loop. Whenever it restarted, I shook my head and opened my eyes before trying to close them and think of nothing again. By the time Raven backed the Suburban into the garage, I was almost ready to come unglued. When he finished parking and shut off the engine, I opened my door, determined to walk on my own two feet. If Raven carried me again, I wouldn’t be able to stop the tears.
Lee tried to talk to me once he’d climbed from the back seat and jogged to catch up, to ask me how I was, but I shook my head at him. Something on my face, in my expression, warned him to back off. He did, but he stayed close as we headed toward the house. Avery and Raven lagged behind. When I made my way toward the basement stairs and started down toward my level, Lee stopped following and let me go.
I was halfway to our living area when Raven’s footsteps thumped on the stairs and he closed the distance between us since my speed was lacking. “Go sit on the couch so I can bandage your hand,” he ordered, and I didn’t argue.
By the time he’d gathered what he needed, my eyes were fluttering closed from exhaustion, the rush, excitement, and adrenaline of the night ebbing away. Raven was gentle with his touch, even if his movements were jerky. I still couldn’t look at him, and he didn’t order me to do so. He probably didn’t want to look at or touch me, but he was being forced to care for my wound since I didn’t have the energy to do it myself.
“In the morning we’ll discuss what happened. For now, sleep. Training will wait, so sleep however long you need.” With that, Raven set the first aid supplies aside and disappeared back down the hall, leaving me alone to stumble to my room, change, and crawl back into bed. However, I didn’t think sleep would take me right away, and I wasn’t sure I wanted it to. The face of the ghoul still haunted me whenever I closed my eyes.
Chapter 8
It wasn’t the morning sun which woke me since, like the rest of the basement, my room had no windows, but a throbbing in my hand. For several long seconds I lay in bed trying to recall what I’d done that would cause my hand to ache with such force that tears sprang to my eyes. It was like someone was sticking needles into my skin…or needle-sharp teeth.
My eyes popped open, the memories of last night catching up with my still half-asleep brain. First I’d fought a ghoul, and then the face of a furious vamlure filled my internal vision. He lurked somewhere outside of my bedroom, ready to discuss what I’d done last night. It was no use putting off that discussion. It wouldn’t go well no matter how many different scenarios I prepared for, and knowing him, it was better to clean up and get it over with as soon as possible. Raven didn’t like to be kept waiting.
Being careful, I removed the bandages Raven had wrapped around my hand last night so that I could shower and remove the rest of the grime that Luella may have missed. Her use of the tap water had been impressive. I only wished I’d been in the right mind to appreciate the show of power.
When the last of the bandage fell away, I inspected the wounds made from the ghoul’s sharp, jagged teeth. They weren’t as awful as they felt. Every point where teeth had entered my skin was scabbed over, but still raw to the touch. With care, I showered and redressed, being overly cautious not to hurt myself further. Makeup was harder to apply, but I succeeded. I wasn’t vain, but I loved a decent coating of eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, and blush before I left my room for the day. Going out without it last night had felt wrong at first, but I was more than happy I hadn’t been wearing mascara after I’d been attacked. If I was going to wear it out on the job, I needed to pick up some that was waterproof.
That was if I still had the training position after I talked to Raven.
When I couldn’t think of anything else to keep me occupied and avoid my trainer, I straightened my shirt and readied myself to face Raven. Hoping he’d calmed down since last night was useless. As was hoping he’d forgive my stupidity.
Opening the door to my room, I found his bedroom door wide open. I listened, but no sounds met my ears, so I headed toward the training area. That too was empty. My stomach growled, but I ignored it in my search to find Raven. There was no way I was eating anything until the conversation we needed to have was over. Still, he wasn’t down here, which meant he could be eating breakfast with the others since I was sure it wasn’t too late in the morning.
I’d barely taken the first step on the staircase when a door on the far left wall swung open, and I jumped when Raven stormed out of it. He crossed the open space between us, which was filled with more mats, as I tried to calm my racing heart after he’d surprised me. When
a few feet separated us, his stormy gaze holding my focus, he stopped. The brightness of his eyes appeared to have doubled since last night, but that wasn’t possible. Maybe it was the way the sunlight from above hit his eyes from where it cascaded down the staircase.
“You missed breakfast.” He folded his arms over his wide chest, his arm muscles bulging. Didn’t this man own any regular clothes? Or was he always wearing a uniform, just in case we were called out in a hurry, like last night? It wouldn’t surprise me if he wore his uniform to bed.
I nodded, not knowing what to say to him.
“Are you ready to discuss what happened last night?”
“Yes, Sir.” Swallowing hard, I followed when he pivoted on his heel and strode back toward the room he’d come from.
A large office and conference room combo sat before me when I entered behind him. A desk, shelving, and file cabinets took up the left-hand side of the room, and a large wooden table with chairs surrounding it filled the space to the right. Instead of taking me to the office side, Raven motioned for me to take one of the chairs at the table. He sat beside me, turning the swivel chair so he faced me, crossing one leg over the other as he sat silent, waiting for me to speak.
I still couldn’t look at him knowing I was going to have to admit my stupidity out loud. While I sat without speaking, trying to think of the right words to say, he remained ever silent. He didn’t even move. No impatient twitches or loud breathing to make me hurry up. I didn’t know which was worse, the still Raven, or the raging captain from last night.
Closing my eyes, I let my head fall forward a little. “I didn’t go in there after the ghoul. It was an accident.” When Raven continued his silence, I swallowed hard. “This is so embarrassing. If you’re going to yell at me, just get it over with.”
I rested my elbows on the table and covered my face. My hands shook against my skin. The words wouldn’t come when I opened my mouth, so I closed it and tried again. Still nothing.
“Why did you leave the SUV when I ordered you to stay there?” Raven’s clipped tone confirmed his lingering fury.
That anger had my brain remembering what words were before I found out how grumpy he could become, just like Luella had warned me.
“I had to use the bathroom because I forgot to go before we left. It was stupid, I know, but I thought it would only take a second and I’d be in and out in no time. If I’d known the ghoul was in there, or followed me inside, I never would have left the SUV. It was stupid.” Accepting my fear of the man, I turned to him, staring him straight in his magenta eyes. “I didn’t set out last night to disobey your order. It was either go inside or pee my pants. In hindsight, I should’ve stayed in the car and let you yell at me for having an accident.”
“In hindsight you should have went to the bathroom before we left.”
Nodding, I turned away from him to stare at the table. He was right. If I’d prepared as he’d expected me to before we’d left, I wouldn’t have had to make that decision.
“It won’t happen again,” I murmured.
“No, it won’t.”
My head whipped up. What was he saying? Did that mean…?
“You’ve changed your mind about training me? I’m done?”
He shrugged like my questions were of no large consequence to him. “I haven’t decided yet.”
Shoulders sagging, I leaned back in the chair to stare at the blank wall ahead of me. “Okay.”
He sighed, drawing my attention to him as some of the fire left his eyes. “You aren’t the only person to blame for how last night ended. As your trainer, it was my responsibility to make sure you were prepared for your first mission. I’ve never had a trainee, and I’m used to giving an order and having it followed with exactness. Avery and I had a long discussion last night about what we all could have done differently, and that includes Luella.
“We’ve only been going out on larger, more intense calls the last several months, and because of that, we’ve all grown a bit lax. With two trainees who need practice on all missions, not just the large ones, we need more work. I’ll be talking to the local police station to let them know we’re available to handle more calls. It’s my hope that by doing this, we won’t have a mistake like last night again. Plus, you are a female vamlure, and I want you to succeed and learn to fight.”
“Sir?”
“What?” He scowled when I looked at him.
“I may be confused, but it sounds like you plan to keep me.”
Raven rubbed at his temples. “Yes, I plan to keep you. I wanted to see how you’d react if I said I wasn’t sure. You did well by not trying to convince me to keep you or to whine about my lack of decision. Although, you did appear to think I’d choose to not keep you in the end.”
“I puked on you and disobeyed on my first mission. I can’t fight. And I obviously don’t know enough to use the bathroom before I leave the house. Why would anyone want to train me?” I picked at a hangnail to avoid his gaze. When he was silent, I refused to speak until he did, no matter how long it took for Raven to say something.
“Have you ever seen a ghoul before? Was that your first ghoul kill?”
“Yes.”
Raven sat forward, turning in the swivel chair to rest his elbows on the table. His eyebrows drew low over his eyes as he studied me. “How did you know it was there? Because the door was locked and you couldn’t leave?”
“No. I didn’t even know the door was locked until Lee tried to get in and couldn’t.” I rested my head in my hand. “I was a complete idiot and turned away from the ghoul when Lee pulled the door and it wouldn’t open.”
“Mistakes aside- don’t worry, we will fix your mistakes from last night- tell me how you knew it was there then.”
“When I went inside, the clerk wore a nose ring. When I came out of the bathroom, he didn’t.”
Raven continued to stare, but not like he had before. His eyes were slightly wider, like he was shocked by something I’d said. Nothing I’d said was too farfetched to be unbelievable.
“You noticed an absent nose ring? That screamed ghoul to you?”
I shrugged. “That and I could’ve sworn I smelled blood and rot, but yes, I noticed the nose ring’s absence first and it was my first clue that something was wrong. I told you, I have a good memory, so when I notice something, it sticks with me.”
“I see. I’m also going to assume that was your first kill.”
“Yes, Sir.” This conversation wasn’t the time to call him Raven. We were discussing business, and if he wanted to correct me, he could. He didn’t.
“How do you feel about it?”
“I puked on you, remember?”
Raven chuckled, the first laugh and smile I’d ever seen him wear. “Yes, I remember. The look on Luella’s face when she walked into the bathroom was almost worth it. Don’t make a habit of it, though.”
“I won’t. It’s just-.” I paused, and his smile fell, concern taking its place.
“What?”
“All I could see was the human man the ghoul changed into. I know it wasn’t the clerk I killed, but when that’s all I saw, it’s hard to believe sometimes that I didn’t kill an innocent man.”
Raven nodded, understanding what I meant. “This kill was gruesome, and to be honest, most are when dealing with a creature such as that. Eventually your mind will begin to understand that the monster isn’t the person you killed. Maybe if you’d been able to see the dead human form the ghoul killed, you would have understood that better, or the ghoul itself when it turned back to its natural state.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I took a shaky breath. “Okay, so if I don’t have to pack up my things and leave, what am I doing today?”
Raven stood and walked to his desk before pulling out a pad of paper and a pen. Setting them in front of me, he slid his chair toward the table until it was out of the way. His serious expression was back as he was all business once again.
“You and Lee aren’t in the Elite system yet
. Until you are, all reports will be written by hand and I’ll scan them in. Write up what happened in detail from the time we left until the time we returned home. Don’t skip anything.”
I glanced up at him with a wince. “Even the part where I had to pee and I puked on you?”
“Yes. They both get mentioned. Maybe next time, you’ll go before we leave the house.”
Cringing, I stared at the paper. “Don’t worry. I won’t forget again.”
“Good. Now Avery made pancakes and he saved some for you. I’ll bring them down here so you can eat and write up the report at the same time. This afternoon we’ll train if you’re up to it, and I hope you are. If there’s one thing I learned last night, it’s that you got lucky. That was a young ghoul. An older one would have killed you in seconds.”
My eyebrows shot up as my eyes widened. “How could you tell that was a young one?”
“It moved too slow to be mature.”
Slow? That creature had been slow? If that was slow, then I didn’t want to meet a mature ghoul anytime soon, and Raven was right. I needed the practice.
By the time Raven’s words had caught up with me, he’d disappeared from the room, leaving me alone to start writing up my report. If it wasn’t embarrassing enough to have lived it, I now had to tell whatever higher up Elite what I’d done all in the name of finding a toilet. If it was General Davis from the Interviews, he’d likely wonder what Raven saw in me. After last night, I know I did.
The first problem with handwriting the report became apparent when I moved to pick up the pen. Each of the bite marks on my left hand screamed at me when I wrapped my fingers around the writing instrument and held it in my hand. It settled over one of the scabs until I readjusted the pen. This was going to hurt and take forever.