by Dawn
Arthur gently touches my shoulder before continuing “…is in no condition to try and charm her way out of this.”
Arthur then takes firm but gentle control of my shoulders and looks me directly in my eyes “Listen, we are leaving you need to get what you want and pack it in your trunk…ELIZABETH!” He shouts at me when he realizes I am dazed and not hearing a word he said.
Instead I only heard him telling me he was taking me from Leopold. I have to know what happened, therefore I reach back down and touch Leopold’s arm and use my touch to see what happened in his last moments.
A shadowy figure approaches Leopold, the bedding is pulled down and his skin glimmers in the light of the fireplace. He is on his side, his heart beating regularly. A hand gently traces the curve of his body. The gentleness is familiar. Then with a swiftness I cannot fathom there is blood, blood squirting everywhere. I can feel his pain and even Arthur’s commands cannot keep my voice silent from allowing his pain to be heard. Chunks are being ripped out of him, spurting and flowing through the bedding and puddling onto the floor. The anguish he felt in those last moments, the desperation he felt to try and protect me, but something keeps him paralyzed. I cannot see anything but the sanguine fluid now. It congests my head with the smell, the taste….
Arthur pulls me away before I gather anything more. But something in me feels strange. I lick my lips and can taste Leopold. His blood had a sweeter metallic taste with a hint of apple. He loved to eat apples, “five a day keeps death away”, he was always saying.
Why is it in my mouth? I look closely at one of the wounds. I recognize the shape instantly. As I examine every bite… each and every one… is mine.
I remember my dream, the taste of the tar. Not tar…. It was his blood. A sickening feeling builds in my stomach and fluids begin to just pour out of me. I cannot stop. Heaving over and over again. The bed over flows with the river of sanguine gushing out of my stomach.
No I could not have.
I would never harm him…
But the evidence remains, there was something rather familiar in the shadowy figure and the more my mind implored the more I recognized the shape.
It was me. As more of the images of the room come into focus I see Leopold is alone in bed. Where was I? I remember falling asleep that night after making love. And the next thing I remember is waking up to the commotion. I can taste him in my mouth, the bites are mine. I over fed…
It all tallys up to mean that…
I killed Leopold.
I KILLED Leopold.
I KILLED HIM…
Arthur had Marie hastily clean me up the best she could, while he and Pierre packed my trunks and then retired to pack and gather their own belongings. I was such a mess. Arthur had to carry me to the carriage, and then spent the last few minutes wiping the minds of our servants. He gathered our knights and ladies and off into the night we fled.
I should have stayed and dealt with the wrath of King Stain. I deserved it and kept telling this to Arthur. They should have fled and left me to deal with the aftermath. Arthur tells me how foolish I was being and by no means was he going to flee without me. I did not do this. He swears I am incapable of that type of carnage but nothing he said would have changed anything. I saw it within my own mind.
Our carriage took us to the Mages Chantry. Arthur had a contact inside who was able to sneak us in and she got us hurriedly through. Arthur stepped through last. He wipes her mind of us and him. He had one last request of her. After he stepped through she was to destroy this mirror out of fear we would be followed. It should buy us time. It would take King Stain several moon cycles to travel here and by then surely he would have a calmer head. At least that is what Arthur was hoping.
As we stepped through into the Fleur Realm mirror room, the guard on duty was rightly startled. Surprise and shock clearly showing on his face, but he thankfully recognized us. Before he could ask any questions Arthur gave him a look that told him to keep silent.
They got me to my chambers and I have not left since. Marie comes in daily with a cup of blood and to bathe me. I allow her to do these necessary tasks and I drink the cup in front of her every night since I returned. I want to wither away and hide forever but Father would never allow it. He told me he would force me if necessary, therefore I comply.
Father allowed me a month to stay locked away. But the Festival of Noel was coming up soon and needed my magic touch to organize it to perfection. I know this is just Father’s way to trying to cheer me up. Ordinarily I am thoroughly excited to arrange and celebrate. This year I cannot be bothered. Our celebration is continuous for 12 nights and days. I have taken over the decorating and organizing for the last several years. Last year we just had it take place in the Ratimir Realm and they put our prior celebrations to shame. I am not in the mood for a celebration this year. Marie tells me it is wrong of Father to force me to do this, but then I must remind her of my duty.
Tonight it begins and I must attend. Ironically it is the precise night I was to be married. We were going to intertwine the celebrations. I do not know where I will find the strength to get through the upcoming twelve nights. Father promises to have a tent where I can escape, but I have obligations. I know I must fulfill my duty and get through this. I had Tymn design me the most appropriate dress. It is a pure white silk dress with black snowflake patterned lace overlay. There is black fur cuffs and skirt trim. The neckline is superbly demure, following across my collarbone and then trimmed with the identical black fur that trims the cuffs and skirt. The lace is inlaid with diminutive crystals in the center of each snowflake.
There is Arthur’s knock; it must be time to go…
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Sixteenth of January 1208
Just after the festival, Judge Santernalis from the Justininus Realm came to question me and all those involved. In confidence he mentioned to Father that King Stain is furious and wants blood for the death of his heir. He knows he cannot come after me directly, but if the “murderer” is found they are to be turned over to King Stain Rattenkönig for sentencing. Arthur assures me Father would never allow this to happen.
It turns out I am still an accomplished actress and I played the part of the grieving fiancé flawlessly. It is a rare circumstance to have a Judge come out, but Father wanted no questions with concerns to favoritism or bribery. I was asked about that night and told him everything but the memory walk. If I did not steal those memories then I would have no idea what atrocities I had committed and since no one knows I effectuated my gift, I can omit it from my memory for today.
After the intense questioning, he absolved me of any crime. He said there was a line of deaths in our keep leading to our room. The bite marks were not a match to my own that Father had submitted unknowing to me. They are theorizing that it is a revenge killing from the murder of the elder Regent Lord Stephen Michael. They understand why Arthur had us flee and it would be for the best for us to steer clear of King Stain for a few hundred moons
Judge Santernalis stayed on for seven more nights; it was difficult maintaining my composure while he was here. Having to be the gracious sweet girl who is in mourning was substantially exhausting, especially when all I wanted to do was curl up and cry. My sheets are stained with the blood of my tears from crying myself to sleep each morning. Marie has had her hands full with changing my bedding daily. Once Stain left I was allowed to become a recluse. Writing tonight is my way of trying to come to terms with what I did and figure out a way to move on. I feel wounded and angry
but the only person I can be angry at is myself. That is what I am having a terrible time coming to terms with. Thus I started sneaking away and feeding on random peasants. I do not remember much in concern with these trysts. I allow my inner monster to take hold and just feed, but it is not making me feel any better.
I have heard many beings over the years talk in respect to the high and release that comes with letting go, letting the monster take over. But when I would wake the following night, I did not improve.
Only worse. The guilt of not knowing how much harm I brought to someone.
I heard from Marie that peasants in a nearby village were being savagely slaughtered. They were ripped to pieces. Entire households are destroyed in just one night. The strangest thing is how peacefully the bodies appeared to be. They were slaughtered individually; somehow the others in the house did not wake as the one prior was being killed.
Just like Leopold…
Just like Leopold…
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Eighth of February 1208
I have begun wondering lately with regards to Isobel. What she did? Why she was banished? I question Arthur constantly and he keeps trying to reassure me that this is nothing like what happened with Isobel. If they thought, I had killed Leopold than they would have locked me up or turned me over. Father would lose his crown if he offered sanctuary to a guilty fugitive. This is Arthur’s argument as to why I must be innocent. I see his eyes clearly from that night. It was the duplicate look I saw when he was explaining to me what Isobel had done.
We ARE twins.
I just always thought the darkness lived only within her. Now I know differently.
I wish she were here to guide me, to lean on, to teach me how to deal with this overwhelming heart ache. I never thought myself capable of taking another’s life, at least not permanently. I do not know how to deal with this guilt.
Maybe Iso would be capable of teaching me how to let the monster take over. How to live in the monster…
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Seventeenth of March 1208
Tonight was my first night out in many moons. It was our spring festival. Father had a new dress made for me. It is pleasing but I did not feel like myself in it. It was too pure looking.
Reminded me of a dress I wore when I was still human. Instead I decide to wear a dress from Leopold and it is sexier than any dress I had ever worn in this Realm. It is the darkest shade of purple with gold thread embroidered throughout the hem creating an intricate lily pattern around the edges of the dress. The neckline is low coming to a point just below my cleavage line. It hugs my curves exquisitely. It is one of the last gifts Leopold gave me. This seemed like the ideal occasion to wear it.
Father seemed rather disapproving of my gown choice, but his eyes softened when I kissed his cheek and bowed before taking the seat adjacent to his throne. I was older now and needed to show my new found growth and change. I expect Father was beginning to understand that.
I spent the evening making polite conversation regarding where I have been? How I was doing? How I was spending the proper time mourning, but now with spring here I am finding my renewal and looking forward to the coming days. I flirted with a few of our guests and made many promises for the future. Perhaps if I just keep faking it long enough maybe it will become my real self. I received many compliments on my gown choice and many ladies asked for the name of the dress maker. Perhaps this new darker side is something I will stick with.
The only beings who seem truly concerned for me were King Jack and King Kile. We talked for much of the party and I was deeply grateful for them monopolizing my time. One of the things King Kile said has stuck with me. He told me that there will be many storms throughout time, more than I will ever remember. However, each time I bend with the wind instead of struggling against it, I am more likely to continue to grow and become stronger. However most who resist the wind, break and lay broken forever on the ground to only be swept up and used as firewood.
I will get through this and become stronger; I just have to not let it break me. I can do that…
I just miss him ever so much…
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Eighth of August 1208
Father tells me I have been moping for significantly too long. He cannot take this any longer and he wants his joyful princess back. I have tried to cheer up, but life just is not like it was before. Thus I go through the motions, but without the smile and cheerfulness I use to have. It is time to begin fresh he tells me. Start anew. Fleur castle has too many memories for me to keep on here.
Father has been meeting with several other kings recently. I see them walking the grounds or in the hallway and they always stop whispering as I near. Father is polite and introduces us before ushering them off to some place more private to speak. I overheard Father talking to Arthur in connection with traveling again soon.
Last evening while I was in my room doing needlepoint, when there is a knock at the door and Pierre informs me that I am summoned to the throne room for a meeting with Father. I thank him and begin to shut the door to prepare myself.
Once Marie dressed me, I toke the alternative route through the tunnels and arrived at the throne room door. I took a moment to gather myself then I nod to the guards and they lead me in. Father dismisses everyone in the room except Arthur who steps back into the shadows to allow us to talk
“Mon Bel est Monté I have a problem. There is a parcel land in the east near Hungary that is unwanted. It is a grand, rich land full of promise and it is in need a ruler. There are a few peasant villages and garou townships, but much of the land there is unclaimed.
“I know you are aware of the meetings I have been having recently. This is a bit of an experiment. You see we are sending seven highly recommended vampyres there to battle, fight and win the land and the hearts of its people who live there. You will form a coterie to aid in nurturing the land and its people.
“There is an ancient gate in these lands that holds tremendous power for the ones who controls it and the land surrounding it. I would like to send you, along with Arthur, to have a role in this special Coterie that is to rid this land of the evil that currently resides there. Then you will nurture and develop it into a magnificent kingdom. And rule together in an untraditional way. You will become a counsel of seven who each possess individual strengths.”
He pauses, looking at me deeply, reading my soul. He clasps my hands in his and continues, “You deserve this chance to prove to yourself, prove you are worthy and that your pure heart is strong enough to rid the evil that is plaguing the lands. His name is Sagris and he is what constantly plagues the area, destroying its beauty. He will be a tough adversary for you and your coterie to defeat but it has been foretold that you will.
“But like every new region you must earn the land. There is a large amount of savages that wander and live in the land known as the Graveyard. You will be sent with provisions and will meet the others of your coterie. Arthur will be going as your liaison and will report back to me your progress. He has a dossier on each one of your coterie, including yours and his own. These will be the beginning of your own hall of records.
“This will take several years before you can rightfully call yourself queen, but I have faith and trust in you my child. You have always been my exquisite alluring shining star. The brightest of my children. You have unt
il the upcoming new moon to prepare your house. You should take with you any treasures you hold dear, as I do not expect you will return for a considerably long time.”
Father pauses and looks me deep in my eyes.
“I know you have been through much this last year. You feel defeated and lost. This is your destiny. You are to be queen of this land. An admirable, dutiful queen who takes care of her subjects.”
He pulls me close to look deeply into my eyes. “You did not KILL Leopold. We have had our best investigators do a thorough investigation and it is true. IT IS TRUE.
“You were set up my darling. They wanted to destroy you, coerce you and others to conclude that you killed him. I just received the final report. Here is a letter from King Stain Rattenkönig telling you himself he is sorry for his accusations as he now knows they are untrue and he owes you a favor should you ever need one.”
I just stare at him in disbelief. I hear his words but my brain cannot comprehend them. I was set up? But why? WHO? Who hates me this much, that they would engender me to this variety of pain? But then the relief and the true grief of losing Leopold sets in and I just cry. It just flows out and Father just holds me, allowing me to let it all out. Once I can finally compose myself again. I kiss Father on the cheek. “This is an honor; I hope I can make you proud my king.”
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Seventeenth of September 1208
As Marie and Pierre pack my belongings and I instruct them on what is to be taken and what is to be left behind, I find myself pausing, realizing the permanency here. I will not be returning, at least for not one or two hundred years, but indeed, then only for a visit. It is time to grow up and leave home.
Arthur has been schooling me on the area we are traveling to and the others we will meet up with there, but I cannot pay too much attention to that just now. I need to focus on saying adieu to those I may never see again.
I cannot take my vassels with me. I must bid adieu to each one. Father promised to look after them and reassign them to someone else and they will continually be taken care of.