“Say, main, I honestly don’t know what the fuck you are,” he admitted. “All I know is that this park served it’s purpose today. We can’t do this shit no more, man. You aint the bitch I know no more. You’re not good in this relationship—"
“And you don’t think that you’ve contributed to that?” Kim fumed. “You don’t think that you’ve had a hand in any of my changes, Rashad? Your hands are fucking clean, huh?”
“I didn’t say that,” he shook his head. “I see shit, Kim. I know I got you stressing. You done lost weight and shit. You doing shit all out of character. You aint the girl I used to know. And maybe I have pushed you to change. So, that’s why we gotta call it quits. You go get your shit together. And I’ma go give these streets a fucking headache. Full-time. Everything will be exactly as it should be.”
She swallowed hard, while nodding. “Okay, that’s cool, if that’s how you want it. We’ll go our separate ways.” She proceeded to walk off. “Fuck you.” She gave him the finger.
“Cool,” he nodded, as he watched her walk off. “Fuck you too.”
Chapter 17
For several long seconds, nothing but snivels could be heard over the phone. Taraj sat back patiently, listening to Kim cry her eyes out. She didn’t bother interrupting her, as she bared her soul, because that was what friends were for, after all.
The tough act had completely faded, as Kim felt broken. For weeks now, she could hardly muster up enough strength to get out of bed. Then to further complicate matters, she couldn’t fully confide in anyone in her house. She was filled with too much shame to admit that she’d been caught in a compromising position with another female. The fear of judgment was too immense, therefore, she kept everything bottled up, and only vented to Taraj.
Taraj was the only person on earth who could understand exactly where she was coming from. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been able to be there for her completely. Taz was undoubtedly uncomfortable with them communicating and had been abundantly clear about this. Until further notice, he wanted their friendship to end, and had been going out of his way to see to it. Therefore, there weren’t many days that Taraj traveled around freely. Taz was a man who called his own shots and was able to go and come as he wanted. So, he could keep Taraj closely, watching her like a hawk. At this point, he was even monitoring her calls, which was why she’d called Kim on an app. Even still, there was no comfort, as she watched her bedroom door, scared that he’d walk in at any second.
“I…I…I just don’t know what to do,” Kim boohooed into the phone. “I just can’t stop crying. I fucked up my family. I ruined my life. My mama keeps asking me what happened. I don’t know what to tell her. I don’t know anything, anymore.”
“Damn, friend, I can’t help but feel partially responsible. I never thought that shit would turn out like this. I’m so sorry. For real,” Taraj apologized.
“That’s okay. It’s not your fault. There’s no way that you could’ve known that shit would pan out like this. Plus, I know that this didn’t help things on your end, either.”
“Girl, hell no. Taz is on my ass, do you hear me?”
“Oh, I can I believe it.”
“Hell, yeah. But we’ll be alright. So, don’t worry about that. I just need you to shake back. I know you’re hurting, right now, but just know that it won’t last forever. It will get greater later. I promise. And in the meantime, find something else to focus on. Now, I can’t tell you what that something is. Only you can do that, Kim. Hell, I’d say in between them kids, your mama, and auntie you’ll figure it out. You’re surrounded by love, so use them to lean on, if you’re feeling a little weak. You do that, and I think that you’ll be just fine.”
Kim sighed heavily, as she wiped away her tears. “Okay, I hear you. And I’ma take your advice. Shit, at this point, what the hell do I got to lose?”
***
“Jaylen, we are in route, as we speak. Chill the fuck out,” Rye griped, as she gripped the steering wheel of her Benz.
“But you’re late, man. That’s the problem. Everybody is here, but you,” Jaylen, Rye’s man fussed over the Bluetooth in the car, making everyone privy to their conversation.
“And I understand that, but I’m on the way now. We got held up at Kim’s, but all is well, and we’ll be there in a sec.”
Jaylen sucked his teeth. “That’s why yall should’ve fuckin’ drove your own cars. That way this type of shit don’t happen. Then who finna drop all them people off at the end of the night? Cause I aint got time. You aint finna be driving clear across the city at no two three in the morning. Especially if you gotta drive back home by yourself. Hell nah. They gon have to catch up with their niggas or something.”
“Jaylen, really? They can hear you,” Rye reminded him.
“Shit, I don’t care,” Jaylen scoffed. “Aye, I hope yall got yall niggas on stand-by, cause Rye aint taking yall home,” he addressed Kim and Anya. “I know yall got cars, so Ion know why yall aint use the shits tonight.”
Kim sat in the back, shaking her head. Leave it to Jaylen to be blunt as hell, but she’d told Rye that it was probably best that they’d drive in their own separate vehicles, but she wouldn’t hear of it. Rye’s resistance was primarily due to her fear of Kim backing out, if she was to drive her own car. Hell, it had been like pulling teeth to get her to agree to come out in the first place. So, she’d gone out of her way, playing Uber for the night.
Jaylen Junior, along with his cousins Jahrein Junior, and Terio were opening a club of their very own tonight. So, naturally, he was teed that his girl wasn’t right by his side for such an important occasion. In fact, if Jaylen had had things his way, Rye would’ve driven to the club with him, and under normal circumstances she would’ve done just that. However, as a friend, she felt this intense need to step up for Kim.
Kim had completely shut down socially and hadn’t even shown up to the salon in over a month. Thankfully, her hair was still in good condition, so they were able to assist her with pulling herself together for the night. Therefore, with freshly straightened hair and glammed make-up, she appeared ready for the world, although her eyes were lifeless. Rocking thigh-high boots, a long-sleeved baggy t-shirt dress, along with booty shorts, she was dressed sexily, but her energy was off.
For most of the ride Rye conversed with Jaylen, which wasn’t outside of the norm, but it never bothered Kim as much as it did today. Listening to her friend interact with her man quickly reminded her of what she no longer had. There was no one concerned about her traveling from one end of the city to the next. No one was hitting her line, wanting to know her whereabouts. Clearly, no one no longer gave a damn. She was in this alone, and she absolutely loathed the feeling.
Gazing out of the window, she attempted to shake those bitter thoughts. Never did she want to become that girl. Kim knew how some women could become so unhappy with their lives that they couldn’t find it within themselves to be happy for the next person. They’d find fault in any and everything. Nope. That wasn’t her. And that wasn’t going to ever become her. So, right then and there, she vowed to channel her energy into something positive.
Admittedly, some of the things that Rashad had said to her didn’t sit right with her. Perhaps somewhere along the line, she had lost sight of herself and what she actually wanted out of life. Yes, at the core, she may have been a good person, but what good was that, if she never did anything with it? Sure, she talked a good game, but she had to ask herself was she someone that she’d want her kids to grow up to become. Right then, she was strongly leaning towards a no, and that needed to change. Before it was all said and done, she needed to leave her mark on the world, stating that she was here, and surely, she wouldn’t do that with just sitting around trying to be cute all day.
“Hey, did Taraj say that her and Taz was coming?” Rye questioned now that she was finally off the phone.
Anya shook her head. “I talked to her earlier. At first, she said that she would see, but once we were at Kim’s
I called her. Taz answered the phone and I think that nigga made her talk on speaker. I don’t know what that shit was about. Anyway, I asked her if she was going and she told me no, but it sounded like she asked Taz first. And the nigga rushed her off the phone. So, yeah, there’s that.”
Rye scrunched up her face. “What? That don’t sound nothing like Taz. I mean, yeah, he got his ways. All them niggas do, but never nothing that extreme. Shit, did that hoe get caught creeping or something?”
Kim’s stomach did a backflip.
Anya shrugged. “You’d have a better chance of finding that out. You know her better than we do. I mean, I aint never seen her doing anything disrespectful. What about you, Kim?”
Kim shook her head. “Nah, I never seen her do anything, either. But who knows? Maybe her and Taz are just going through something. Either way, that aint none of our business.”
Rye giggled. “Aww, shit. I know what that means.”
“What?” Kim frowned.
“Your ass knows more than what you’re saying,” Rye tittered. “That’s what. You’re too defensive. Any other time, your good righteous ass would be gossiping right along with us.”
Anya joined in on the laughter. “Girl, you aint bullshitting. That hoe knows exactly what’s going on. I’m convinced now.”
“Right,” Rye quipped. “And I can’t believe Taz. Him, Lil’ Jah, and Jaylen are pretty tight, so I don’t understand why he’d miss the grand opening of their club. It don’t make sense to me.”
“Hell, don’t ask me,” Anya shrugged.
Kim began fiddling with her phone, refusing to further entertain the conversation. If anything was to ever come out about her and Taraj, it wouldn’t be because she had a slip of the tongue. So, to avoid saying the wrong thing, she opted to say nothing.
“So, Kim, what happens when Rashad comes by to see the kids?” Anya asked, hoping to make conversation.
Kim hunched her shoulder. “That doesn’t happen.”
Rye briefly glanced back at her. “The nigga don’t come see his kids?”
“My mama brings them to him every Sunday and sometimes on Saturday.”
“Wait, so he sees them one or two days out of the week?” Rye frowned.
“Yeah.”
“And you’re cool with that?”
“I mean, some daddies don’t come around at all.”
“So? Girl, don’t tell me that you’re one of them at least bitches. Come on, Kim. I thought you knew better than that.”
Kim scowled. “At least bitch?”
“Yeah, you know. One of them hoes that’s so used to losers that they applaud when niggas do less than the bare minimum. You be so conditioned to believe that men aint shit that when they do anything at all, you’re grateful for it. So, then, in most cases, you don’t hold their asses accountable. Like if he’s a good provider, he don’t have to bring his ass home. He’s paying the bills, so he aint gotta make you happy. That nigga can do one thing right, and then you overlook everything else that he does wrong. You know, instead of saying, hell no. I deserve a hundred percent. I need that money. That time. That dedication. I need it all. And if shit don’t work out with yall, then that’s cool. He don’t owe certain shit to you, anymore. That’s a given. But he still got certain obligations to them kids, and you have every right to ride his back when he falls short. And I’m sorry. One day a week aint giving it his all. That’s the fucking bare minimum if I ever heard it. And you crazy as hell for letting that shit go down. Mad and all, he’d have to see me about that.”
“Yeah, Kim,” Anya added. “That does sound kinda bad. Especially, if he’s not even keeping them for that full Sunday. The kids will begin to see him as like a distant uncle or something, after a while. He could at least get them for the complete weekend.”
“Yeah, alright, yall. I’ll be sure to discuss this with the nigga who got me on his block list,” Kim spat. “I’ll try calling him from my mama’s phone, first thing in the morning, and pray that he don’t hang up in my face, once he hears my voice. If I can get past all that, then surely, we can discuss his lackluster parenting skills. Okay?”
“Damn,” Rye cringed. “Exactly what happened between you and Rashad again? Bitch, what the hell did you do to that nigga? Cause I gotta know. Did you fuck his friend or something?”
Anya busted out laughing. “Rye, stop it. Kim aint that damn bold. She must’ve stolen his money or something. Cause we both know that hoe aint ‘bout it.”
Rye tittered. “Right, right. This hoe is way too scary for all that.”
Kim rolled her eyes, as she turned to gaze out of the window. “You bitches can think whatever you want. Won’t change shit for me.”
Moments later, Rye pulled up to the valet in front of Jaylen’s club, Bracks’. Of course, since it was her man’s club the red carpet was literally rolled out for them. Cameras flashed, and people showed love as they were guided through the club by a host, who’d been left with specific instructions, per Jaylen. It wasn’t long before Rye, Anya, and Kim were united with Jaylen and his people. Right after, Rye was swept away by her man, which was no surprise.
Going into this event, both Kim and Anya knew that Rye would be preoccupied the entire night. Her being there to support her man was enough to keep the average woman busy, however, Rye and Jaylen’s situation was unique, to say the least. Rye’s biological father was Jaylen’s step grandpa; therefore, their family was intertwined. Since this was a huge night, mostly family were in the building, which would unquestionably pull Rye’s attention in multiple directions. So, Kim and Anya were just glad that they were pretty familiar with the family as a whole, otherwise, they’d be lost as hell, depending on Rye to hold them up.
A few hours coasted by, and Kim found herself sitting alone. It was dawning on her that this was different from the times that she and her girls would show up to the club together to dance the night away. Yes, she was spotting familiar faces left and right, but everyone had shown up with their significant others. So, yes, they were partying, but the turn up was more conservative. Even Keyasia was behaving, because her man Wale was on her ass, making sure of it.
Finally, someone sat next to Kim. It was NFL player, Jeremy Wiltz. He smiled at her. “What’s up?”
“What’s up, Jeremy?” she gave him a head nod, right before Jhyrah, his wife, flopped down, in his lap.
“Hey, Kim, girl with ya big fine ass,” Jhyrah spoke drunkenly.
Kim giggled, as she wondered briefly if Jhyrah was into girls. However, she then chastised herself for having those thoughts. “I’m tripping with myself,” she mumbled to herself. “What’s up, Jhyrah?”
Jhyrah poked out her bottom lip. “You tripping about what?”
Kim shook her head. “Nothing.”
“Okay, good. Cause I was about to say,” Jhyrah slurred. “You bet not be over here tripping over that nigga and his bitch. She aint got shit on you, no way. The fuck.”
Kim narrowed her eyes in confusion. “What nigga and what bitch?”
“Rashad and that bitch,” Jhyrah spat when she talked. “That’s who. That bitch over there looking like a fucking Nicki Minaj reject in that damn last season Fendi. Dusty ass hoe. And Key told me how yall got them hoes to drag her ass too. That’s good for her. Looks like she needs a round two to me. Fuck her. Chun Li, Fu Yung ass hoe.”
Kim glanced around. “Where do you see Rashad and Kass?”
“Right over there.” Jhyrah pointed. “I heard Rye made them get their own section when Bogus tried to come over, and mentioned that Kass was with them. She told them that Kass couldn’t come with them, so they went and got their own shit. I mean, either way, it’s lining my people’s pockets, so we aint tripping, but we couldn’t let him play you like that. This Rye’s nigga’s shit, and you her girl. And she said fuck that. They gon respect you tonight. That nigga Jaylen want some pussy when he gets home, so he laid down the law. Simple.”
Kim sat in disbelief, as she spotted Rashad posted up in a sectio
n with Bogus and Kass. All that talk of her just being somebody he works with had been tossed out of the window, as she proudly sat in his lap. Rashad resembled the average showboating nigga in the club, as he tossed up a gold bottle. Right then, Kim felt gut-punched, as she was shown exactly what it really was with Rashad.
So many thoughts raced through her mind, as she tried to make sense of it all. Then after several minutes it finally came to her. She realized that everything that had been happening in her life had been begging her to look deeper, and now she was finally taking that time to look. The spiritual part of her didn’t believe in coincidences. Everything in life happened for a reason. Something had brought her and Rashad to the same club that night. It was meant for Kim to see what she was seeing. She needed this. To finally accept things for what they were. Rashad wasn’t the man for her. That much was painfully obvious. And it was time for her to let him go from her heart and her life. She was done.
Chapter 18
“Uh, why do you keep smiling at me like that?” Kim enquired.
Lickz chuckled. “Cause, man, I can’t believe that we really sitting in my car after you played with me for so long.”
She rolled her eyes. “Played with you? Ion think I appreciate your choice of words.”
He lifted his chin. “Okay, then what you call it?”
“Umm, let’s see.” She placed a finger on her chin. “How about respecting the relationship I was in.”
He twisted his lips. “Yeah, okay. If you say so.”
Before their conversation could go any further, Kim’s cell vibrated in her hand. Rolling her eyes, she glanced at Lickz. “I might have to step out of the car, right quick. It’s my baby daddy, and he has the kids, right now.”
“Nah, you good,” he claimed. “I aint gon say shit.”
“Okay,” she sighed, before answering the call. “Hello.”
“Hey, I was trying to facetime you, but you turned the option off,” Rashad mentioned, wasting no time.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll undo that tomorrow. Is something wrong?” she questioned him. She was trying to be patient, since he seemingly called for every little thing, now that he’d keep the kids for the entire weekend.
So Many Tears 2 Page 18