by Lucy Smoke
Chapter 6
After dinner, Texas offered to walk me back to the dorm. “I don’t understand why I have to stay in the halls,” I said as we crossed the street from the duplex to the campus.
“You don’t like it?” he asked.
“It’s not that. My roommate is nice, and it’s great being around other girls, but we’re not here to make friends—we’re here to find Josh and Erika.”
Texas tilted his head and squeezed my hand. “It’s not really fair, is it?”
I frowned, unsure of his meaning. With the sun set and far behind the horizon, the night had descended, and the streets were lit with globs of light along the pathways. They threw curious shadows over Texas’ face.
“You kind of just fell in with us,” Texas explained, “and you didn’t really get the chance to apply for colleges or even go on tours.”
“I couldn’t afford it,” I reminded him with a weary twist of my lips.
He smiled and shook his head, turning to face forward once more. “I know, Spider-Monkey.” I groaned low, earning the widening of his smile. “But, seriously, do you like it here? You could stay even after the job is done. We’ll find Erika. We’ll find Caruso 2.0 and then, if you want, you could stay and finish and get a degree.”
I blinked. It sounded like he had put a lot of thought into the offer. “What about Iris?” I asked. “What about you?”
Texas stopped and turned, causing me to stop as well. I realized we were standing across the campus’ green lawn in front of Chipley hall—my dorm. Seconds later, Texas cupped my face—distracting me completely as my eyes shot to his. I glanced down at his lips for the barest of moments before returning my gaze to his.
“We’ll wait, Harlow,” he said, his eyes serious, his mouth firm. “If you want this, Iris can wait. We can wait. The relationship thing, too. If the others don’t wait for you, then that only makes it easier because I will. I will always wait for you.”
My stomach tightened as emotion assailed me. His words were beautiful, and they lit a warmth in me, but they also served as a reminder. They still expected me to choose. Even if they hadn’t said as much, I could feel the pressure building. I didn’t want to choose. If I chose, I could break them apart, and seeing Texas and Bellamy at each other’s throats or even Marv and Knix would hurt me. I couldn’t bear it.
But when Texas leaned forward, his eyes closing and his lips brushing softly against mine, I found my muscles freezing for the scantest instant before melting completely. All too easily, I fell into him—letting him consume me because it felt right. My eyes slid shut of their own accord and I leaned towards him, letting his mouth play against mine. His lips parted, and shivers danced down my spine as his tongue touched my bottom lip. The combination of the warm air and Texas’ equally warm skin under my fingertips as I reached for him made me feel like I was floating in a bubble. My heart galloped in my chest. It was so loud, I wondered if he could hear it. His hands trailed down my hands and his fingers linked with mine.
“Harlow…” His whisper brushed over my cheeks as he pulled back, slanted his head and kissed me more firmly. Our chests brushed, and I gasped when his tongue licked against mine. He pulled back almost abruptly—so abruptly that I nearly fell into him as my mouth, instinctively, attempted to follow his.
Eyes burning with a deep fire, he shook his head at me, releasing my hands. “I’ll wait here. Go inside.”
I touched my mouth with the tips of my fingers, staring at him quizzically. “Texas?”
He clenched his teeth and took a wide step back from me. “Please go inside, Harlow. I need to get back to the others and you standing there, looking so…” He cursed under his breath and my eyes widened. Since when did Texas curse? I mean, sure, I had heard him curse before. But this time was different. “Please, Harlow. I don’t think you’re ready yet, and I don’t think you really want me to maul your mouth right now.”
He tried to smirk to soften his words, but it was too late. My skin was flushed. The skin of my lips tingled. I had to do as he asked, otherwise it wouldn’t be him mauling me, but me mauling him. I turned and nearly sprinted across the lawn towards the front door of my dorm. Sliding my key card around my keychain, I swiped it to the side of the entryway and jerked the handle to open the door.
I rounded the front desk and headed further into the building. When I passed the lobby mirror, I noticed that my cheeks were more than a little pink and my mouth was red. Anyone who looked at me would know what happened. So, I took a little detour to the bathroom before heading to my room. I turned the taps and splashed cool water against my heated skin.
My eyes met their reflection, the normally dull brown sparkling and lit from within. I gulped despite the fact that my throat felt like the Sahara Desert. The nape of my neck was damp with sweat and I knew it didn’t completely have to do with the heat outside. No, it was Texas. The way he touched me—like I was precious and special. I wanted to touch him too. I wanted him to feel the same way I was feeling, as if butterflies were about to burst out of my stomach. It wasn’t until another girl bustled in with a shower caddy in tow that I straightened and moved away from the mirror.
With a sigh and a shake of my head, I returned to my room, slid the key in and tiptoed past a sleeping Lizzie to get ready for bed. I had an early class tomorrow. I almost forgot—I was making a return to gymnastics. It was small, but it was a reminder of what I had spent so much time on in my past. I wondered if this was to help the mission or if this was purely for me.
As I slid beneath the new sheets on my twin sized dorm mattress, I stared up at the ceiling with a mixture of excitement and nerves settling in my chest.
Gymnastics. Erika. Car headlights. Oh, my.
A downpour of freezing cold rain arrived the very next day. Lizzie and I sprinted across campus, huddled under a tiny, black umbrella she had brought from home, but never expected to use for more than one person. As it was, when we arrived at the Student Exercise Center—where she had a nutrition class the same time as my gymnastics course—both of us had soggy shoes and opposing sides that were wet with rainwater.
“Okay, I’ll meet you after class?” she asked, shaking her umbrella to the side and snatching a rainy-day umbrella bag from a console next to the doors.
“Yeah. Lunch?” I asked.
From what Texas had texted me when I woke up, he and the guys would be busy with their own classes, and interviewing students. I was a little irritated that I hadn’t been invited to interview with them, but then Bellamy had texted me with some information of my own to check out later. Then it became less that they were leaving me out and more that they trusted me to go off on my own. Although I found it a bit nerve-wracking, I was more than happy to comply. I wanted to show them that I could be counted on too.
“Sure.” Lizzie waved as she disappeared up the staircase to the side.
I followed the front hallway down to an exercise room, found a locker, and unzipped my jacket, hanging it inside. My shoes squeaked against the wooden flooring as I made my way into the gymnasium where blue mats had been set out. To the side, there were several other supplies that I guessed would be used later, either in this class or the next. I found that several students had already arrived and were congregated in a group in front of one side of the blue mats. I made my way over, recognizing a familiar face.
"Hey, Harlow!"
"Kelsey." I smiled. "I didn't know you were in this class."
"Yeah," she said as I came to a stop at her side. "It was a last minute change. The original physical education course I signed up for didn't have enough people apparently. Everything else was advanced."
"Well, I'm glad to have someone in here with me."
She beamed. "Same here. Though, I'm kind of nervous. I've never done any sort of gymnastics in my life." Her smile dimmed, and she looked around before leaning forward. "I'm not very flexible."
I laughed. I couldn't help it. "That's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed by," I assured h
er. "It is a beginner’s class."
The instructor arrived, carrying a sack as she bustled over to us. "Good morning everyone," she called over the group cheerfully. "My name is Mrs. Dennis. If your schedule says Beginner's Gymnastics, then you're in the right place. If not, you're lost and probably missing your Statistics 101 or something else equally brain numbing."
A couple of students chuckled. Even my lips twitched.
"We're going to start out with some stretches, so I hope everyone wore appropriate clothing," Mrs. Dennis called as she dropped her sack to the side.
"You're not going to take roll?" someone asked.
Mrs. Dennis shook her head. "Some of you will inevitably drop out or switch classes before the first week is over," she explained. "I won't take roll until the second week of class. Now, spread out."
As I headed towards a corner mat, Kelsey latched onto my arm. "How are we supposed to know what stretches to do?" she hissed, glancing around. I looked in the same direction and while some of the students were obviously a little confused, Mrs. Dennis directed them gently towards sections and spoke in low tones.
"Do you want to stretch with me?" I offered. Kelsey nodded vehemently. "I haven't been in gymnastics in years," I admitted apprehensively as we made our way over to a separate mat.
"You were in gymnastics?" Kelsey stopped next to me as I spread my feet apart and bent over, reaching for my toes with both hands. I leaned towards my right foot and then my left and then the middle. She copied my movements. "Then why are you in the beginner's class?"
I shrugged as I stood up straight once more and took my elbow in my opposite hand and stretched my arm over my head before doing the same to the other arm. "I didn't really get to choose my classes, but I guess it's just that I've been out of it for a while."
"How long is a while?" Kelsey asked.
"Um..." I tried counting back the years. "It was right before I started high school, I think."
“Are you going to start doing it again?” she pressed, curiosity in her tone.
Shaking my head, I grunted as I stretched a muscle I knew I hadn’t stretched in a long while. “Not really.”
“Not into it anymore?”
I had to think about it. I left gymnastics because I had to, not because I wanted to. Did I want to be back here? I was sure if I told the guys I wanted to, they’d let me. Texas had all but asked me if I wanted to stay and finish school. Was that what I wanted?
“Harlow?” Kelsey called.
I blinked and looked her way. “I don’t think so,” I finally said. “This is a good reminder, but gymnastics is behind me.” But was college in my future?
I glanced around the room, and noticed that several students were on their backs, stretching their feet in the air as Mrs. Dennis coached them through the stretches. I winced, wondering if I could do that again. Before I could even contemplate trying to copy their movements, however, Mrs. Dennis stood up from her position and headed our way.
“How are we doing over here, ladies?”
“Oh, just fine!” Kelsey piped up as she strained to reach her toes.
Mrs. Dennis looked to me. “Um, fine,” I squeaked. She raised a brow as I cleared my throat. “Yeah, we’re just stretching.” Although she looked skeptical, she didn’t push and instead, nodded before heading to the next group of girls. I released a breath I hadn’t even known I was holding.
“So,” I said, moving into a new position.
Kelsey watched me and then copied my movements. “So?”
“You’re a sophomore, right?” I asked. “Do you stay on campus in the summer?”
She laughed, shaking her head. “Oh, no way. It’s dead in the summertime. There’s hardly anyone here. Besides, I have to work at my parents’ bar in the summer.”
I blinked, surprised. “Don’t you have to be twenty-one to work in a bar?”
She shook her head, eyes watching me as I leaned up on my side and moved my arm over my head. “You only have to be eighteen to bar-back or serve,” she said. “I just restock beers and stuff and fill out drink orders.”
“Oh, that’s cool.”
“Yeah, I’m a business major because I’m hoping one day to go into business with my dad—you know, help him run the bar and maybe open up another one.”
“That’s cool that you already know what you want to do,” I said as I strained my muscles, keeping my back straight.
“So, what about you?” Kelsey’s face grew red as she did the same. “What do you want to do when you get out of college?”
"Oh, um, me?" My arms began to shake. "I don't really know." I wasn’t even sure if I would finish. Finally, Kelsey collapsed on her side as I slowly lowered myself back to the ground, turning my head to see if the instructor was watching. She wasn't. I turned back to Kelsey.
What the hell did I want to do?
It was a question the guys had asked me before. What did I want to do for the rest of my life? I looked around at the class—comprised of mostly girls—and wondered if they all had plans. I didn't, not really. I mean, I wasn't just passing time with the guys. They were important to me. What they did—what we did—was important to me. But I had never before really had a plan laid out for me. I didn't know what I liked anymore. For the longest time, I had been so focused on putting food on the table, on paying bills, and seeing my mom get better. I was used to the survival of day to day life. Now... now I had a whole life to think about. I needed to actually think about it. Make plans. Find out where I wanted to go. Maybe the college atmosphere—meeting people who had their lives planned out already—was what was pushing me to start thinking about it, and maybe it was a good thing.
"Hey, you know you don't have to decide right this second, right?" Kelsey's voice drove me out of my inner musings and I looked up, realizing how tight my arms were. I hadn’t been paying attention. I lowered down and rested. Though she probably should have been irritated, Kelsey smiled kindly instead of pointing out my absent-mindedness. "Lots of people don't know what they want to do in life," she said. "That's what college is about. You've got four years to figure it out."
Before I could reply, the instructor clapped her hands, gaining all of our attention and announcing that her assistant had arrived to show us some basic moves. My mind roamed as we were all instructed to move together and watch as the young, slender woman with her dark hair pulled back into a severe ponytail moved forward and began to perform some of the easier gymnastics maneuvers—the handstand, the bridge, the cartwheel. All things I had learned early on. So, as the others oohed and awwed over them, I kept thinking about what I wanted. By the time class ended, I still wasn't sure of the answer, and that bothered me.
"What are you doing for lunch?" Kelsey asked as we exited the gymnasium.
"I'm—"
"Hey, Kels!" Lizzie bounded up to greet us, all wide smiles and exuberance.
"Hey," Kelsey said.
"Wow, good class?" I asked.
Lizzie nodded. "Yeah, I thought nutrition was gonna be a bore, but the teacher is actually pretty cool. She's already canceled a class later on in the semester because she has a conference to attend!" Lizzie did a fist pump in the air. "Score!"
"Should you really be happy about that?" I asked, curiously.
Lizzie shrugged. "Why not? I know I'm like 'losing out on the money paid for the class and blah blah blah' but I'm probably gonna need a break by the time we hit the mid-semester slump."
"Mid-semester slump?" I blinked at her, my voice low with confusion.
"Don't worry about it." Lizzie weaved her arm through mine and then turned back to Kelsey. "You joining us for lunch?"
"If you don't mind," Kelsey said hesitantly.
I smiled, hoping to let her know that she was more than welcome and nodded my head even as Lizzie weaved her other arm through Kelsey's. "Not at all!" Lizzie laughed. "Let's go!"
As we walked towards the cafeteria together, I watched the girls interact. They made me miss Erika. Perhaps, not who Erika
had become—distant and more than a little secretive if this mission was anything to go by—but the best friend she had been. She was the whole reason I was here in the first place. I wasn’t actually here to attend college and figure out my life—though the latter would have to happen eventually. That wasn’t my goal. I just needed to keep my head in the right place and not be deterred.
Lunch was over rather quickly, and I only barely managed to dodge more questions about the guys from Lizzie while Kelsey raised her brow at me every so often.
My last class of the day was Fiction Writing in which the professor handed out a list of appropriate novels to pick up, informing us that we would have to email him with our selection by the end of the week because there would be a book report due at the end of the semester. Although it was an interesting subject, I found the professor—a man in his mid-thirties with a terribly obvious comb over, and a dress shirt that was way too tight for his build—to be a bit autocratic and imperious. But he was the professor after all, so what did I know?
I got back to the dorm room, thankfully, well before Lizzie. Slipping off my backpack and storing away my school supplies, I checked my phone for any missed messages. Though there were no text messages, there was one voicemail from Knix waiting. He had called earlier in the morning just after my gymnastics class had started. I pressed play and put the phone to my ear.
"Just wanted to check in on you, Little Bit." His voice rumbled in my ear, deep and soothing. I didn't realize how much I had missed him until then. "Wanted to let you know that Bellamy and I are heading up to Lander now. We received some new information from Alex. I can't talk about it over the phone. But I expect that you'll be busy with your assignment from Bellamy. Meet at the duplex at 6 pm tonight. That's when we should be there." My breath caught. I wondered what they could have found. Just when I thought the voicemail was over, there was the brief sound of the phone being jostled as it was passed over. Bellamy's voice came through. "Hey Sweetheart, don't worry about Cleo. We checked on her before we left. Be safe on your assignment. See you tonight."