My eyes looked up from the list to find Daniel smiling at me. He took three large strides backwards and took a bow. “You’re welcome,” he joked.
I couldn’t contain my glee, and it was useless to try. Spinning around in a circle with my arms flung out, I let the night air wash across my body. I get to open a letter! I felt like crying, but I knew it would only be happy tears.
My feet started to break out into a run in Daniel’s direction, and he was probably thrown off guard when I tossed myself into his arms for a tight, tight hug. He didn’t falter at all—he lifted me into the air and swung me around a few times, hugging me back without question.
“You don’t know what this means to me,” I whispered, secretly wanting to kiss him again and again.
He pulled back a little and stared at me, smiling. “Let’s get you home so you can do a little reading.”
He placed me down, and the two of us walked to the front of the bar. Daniel rubbed his arms up and down my shoulders for a moment. His lips moved in closer to mine, and when they connected to the corner of my mouth, I felt a wave of heat skyrocket through my system.
“Goodnight, Ashlyn,” he said, lightly touching my fingertips before he stepped back, forcing another smile from me.
“Goodnight, Daniel Daniels.” My heart was getting lost in a world of yearning, and I allowed it to travel to the unknown territory. I reached into my purse and pulled out his CD. “Oh, and just so you know…I’m taking you to bed tonight.”
“Well, damn. I’m one lucky bastard.” He winked at me, and I felt my world being rocked. Running his hands through his hair, he smiled big. “I think this is when we exchange numbers.” He reached his phone out toward me and I gave him mine. After typing in my number, we switched back.
“I probably won’t call you first because I don’t want to look desperate.” I grinned.
“And I won’t call you first because I want you to explore the idea that there might be other girls I’m talking to.”
Ohh how he makes me feel. I hadn’t felt this way in so long. “Well obviously there aren’t other girls. Have you seen yourself? You’re pretty hideous.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Girls don’t like charming smiles, muscular arms, or delicious four-pack—” He quickly took my hands and ran them across his stomach. I sighed lightly, feeling my thighs ache from the touch of his physique. “Six-pack abs.” My cheeks blushed over, but I hoped he didn’t notice.
“So what is it that girls like?” He crossed his arms.
“Ya know, the normal things. A little hair under the nostrils. Some extra chins to kiss. An extra nipple or three. Just the normal things.”
He laughed, and I wanted to snuggle against him to feel the laughter ripple through his body. “I’ll work on those things. I don’t want to be... What word did you use?”
“Hideous.”
“Right. I would hate to be hideous in your eyes.” There was one last round of smiles before he turned away and I began to walk in the other direction.
“Hey, Ashlyn!” he shouted, making me twirl back around in his direction. I waited for his comment, sending him a wondering gaze. “Would you want to have another really weird fucking night with me again sometime? Like, maybe even, Tuesday night?”
Yes! Yes! For all things righteous, YES! “You know what? I think I can pencil you in.”
“You know the library on Harts Road?”
Nope. I didn’t. But I’d be searching the internet right when I returned home to find out where it was. “I’ll figure it out.”
“Good. Figure it out around, say, six p.m.”
“It’s a date.” I realized my words and paused, slamming my hand against my side. My cheeks heated up and my hands curled around my waist. “I mean, it’s a… It’s… I’ll be there. I’ll see you then.”
He laughed and turned away. “Okay, sounds good. It’s a date, date.”
He used a double.
And I was officially smitten.
I entered my bedroom to find Hailey stretched out on the floor, lying on top of her yoga mat. There was music playing that sounded like the rainforest bouncing from her speaker system.
She was inhaling deeply and exhaling through her slightly parted mouth. Just seeing her weirdness brought a small grin to my mouth.
“Uh, Hailey?” I muttered, closing the door behind me.
“Shh,” she hummed, patting the spare yoga mat that was lying right beside hers.
I took it as a weird invite and accepted. Taking off my heels and tossing my coat and purse onto my bed, I lay down on the yoga mat.
“Close your eyes,” Hailey instructed, her eyes already shut. I cocked a brow and looked at her as if she were a nut job and the corner of her mouth turned up. “Don’t give me that you’re-batshit-crazy look. Just close your freaking eyes.”
I closed them and took in a deep breath. There was a cold breeze in the room and my arms instantly received goose bumps. I peeked toward Hailey and watched her still inhaling deeply and exhaling with relief.
“Do you feel the difference from just a few seconds of lying down and connecting back to the world? All of that negative energy exiting through your fingertips and toes?” Hailey asked before going back to her humming.
“Um, no?” I said with confusion in my sounds. I just felt like I was lying on a yoga mat in a dark room, listening to thunder and the jungle from a CD player.
Hailey’s humming paused and she sat up on her elbows. “Hmph. Me either. I’m telling you, I’ve been giving this meditation thing a try for the longest time, but I just don’t get it.”
I giggled and sat up on the mat, crossing my legs. “Then why do you bother?”
“Theo…” She reminded me of her boyfriend before she laid back down, tossing her hands under her head. “How was your time out?”
My lips turned up. Hailey noticed.
“You met a boy!” she squealed in a whisper.
I turned her way, shocked. “How…?”
“Ashlyn, you left the house pissed off and you came back smiling and blushing. You definitely met a boy.”
She was wrong—he was no boy at all. I lay back down on the yoga mat, staring at the painted clouds on the ceiling, listening to the chirping birds and monkeys from the CD player. “I had a very good time out.”
We talked for a while longer before my new roommate grew sleepier and sleepier. After a while of lying on the mat, I listened as Hailey began to lightly snore. Standing up, I grabbed a blanket and laid it over her body.
Around two a.m., my phone lit up. A grin ran across me at seeing Daniel’s name.
Daniel: He’s British. He’s addicted to waving his long stick around. He has a superb sweater collection.
Me: Is this some kind of late-night book trivia?
Heart putters and butterflies were back in full force.
Daniel: Duh.
Me: Well, you have to do better than that. Harry Potter. My turn. He ran away from home to miss out on a curse. He gets married. He has mom issues. There may be a small chance that his baby mama is also…his mama.
Daniel: Did you just Oedipus Rex me? Clue: She has a rodent problem. Her infatuation with the three days festival is awkward. Her stepsisters cut off their heels.
Me: Cinderella—Grimm brother style. You’re making this too easy. I thought you weren’t going to call me first?
Daniel: I thought the three days festival was clever. Most people don’t know that. This isn’t calling you. This is texting. My girlfriend is sleeping right next to me. She might wonder if she hears me talking. You’re beautiful.
He made me laugh and swoon at the same time. A true talent.
Me: On a scale of 1 to 10, the festival clue was a 1.5. Yawn. Don’t pretend that Mr. Hideous has a girlfriend. Don’t flatter me with compliments—your clues still stink.
Daniel: You’re beautiful.
Me: You’re dramatic.
Daniel: You’re beautiful, Ashlyn. I don’t just mean your looks
. I mean your smarts, your tears, your brokenness. I think that’s beautiful.
Each time he replied, I felt my face flush. He wasn’t playing games; he wasn’t trying to act like he had better things to do at two in the morning. He replied right away, with each text holding so much warmth to his simple words.
Me: Stop it…
Daniel: You’re so ugly it’s painful. You remind me of the scum on the bottom of my shoes. If I could, I would kick you with dirt. Why are you so repulsive?
Me: Romancing—you’re doing it right.
Daniel: Goodnight, Ash.
I sighed as I placed my phone down against my chest.
Goodnight, Daniel Daniels.
I moved to my wooden box and used the light from my cell phone to dig through the envelopes until I found number twenty-three. Sitting back on my mat, I slowly opened the letter.
#23. Kiss a Stranger
Ash,
Oh my gosh. My sister’s a slut! Really? You kissed a STRANGER?! Can I say that I’m secretly proud of you? And if this happened to be one of the first few letters that you opened, that means you’re probably acting out because you miss me sooo much. That’s my girl! So tell me, was it a bad kiss? Did he have donkey breath? Did he use tongue? Oh gosh, there’s so much I want to know. Did you like it? Did he make your insides feel like Jell-o? As long as you’re not kissing Billy, I’m happy. I guess this number on your bucket list was mainly to show you that you should take chances. Kiss the wrong guy at the right time. Kiss the right guy at the wrong time. Just live each day as if there are no restraints. There’s so much I wish I would have done, but I would always overthink things too much. Like, I should have worn polka dots with plaid one day. Or tried sushi. Or lost my virginity at the beach party with Bentley last year when I really wanted to.
Keep diving in.
You’re doing great, kid.
-Gab
One, can I have your number?
Two, can I have your smile?
Three, will you meet me somewhere?
Four, will you stay awhile?
~ Romeo’s Quest
I woke up on the ground as the sunlight from the window flooded the carpet. I looked down to see that the cover I had laid on Hailey was now resting against me. Hailey was standing in front of her full-length mirror, tossing her hair around.
I rubbed my hands over my sleepy eyes and stood up, yawning into the palm of my hand. “Thanks for the blanket.”
“Ditto,” she smiled, turning my way. “This roommate thing is working out. Right?”
My shoulders shrugged as I fell onto my mattress. I hadn’t lived here that long, so it was all still so new to me.
She didn’t really take my reply in too much before joining me on the edge of my bed. “Great! So, here’s the thing… Theo’s having a party in a few weeks when his parents go to Bora Bora and I need you to come with me.”
I arched an eyebrow and laughed. “No thanks.”
Hailey pouted her lips and crossed her arms. “Come on. Please?! My mom won’t let me go unless I go with friends. My best friend Lia is against Theo for some reason, and seeing how my only other friend is my brother, who is very anti-Theo, Mom is very anti my going out. I need a girl to go with me… I need you. And Mom will love the idea because she’ll think we’re bonding. Which, we will be!” She clamped her hands together and started to beg. “Please, Ashlyn?! Please?!”
“I’m not really the party girl.”
“That’s fine! It’s totally fine. But”—she smiled and shut her eyes—“maybe you’ll be able to cross something off of your bucket list!”
My mouth dropped and I straightened my shoulders back. “How do you know about the list?”
“You talk in your sleep.” She opened one of her eyes and looked at me, cringing at the idea that I would be pissed off at her. I was still debating if I was. “Plus, you left your last letter resting on your bed.”
Jumping from my bed, my heart pounding against my chest, I crossed my arms. “You read my letter?! You went through my stuff?!”
Hailey was quick to stand up and widen her eyes with fear. “No! It was just sitting there. And I’m… Okay. Yes, I read the letter. I’m a terrible roommate. Let me make it up to you by inviting you to a party!”
I stared at her for the longest, not blinking, with a look of shock. “I can’t do this right now.” Moving toward the door to leave my crazy new ‘roommate,’ I was stopped when Hailey jumped in front of the door.
“Look, okay! I’m sorry. I was way out of line for reading your stuff and I pinkie promise to never do it again.” She held her pinkie up to me, and I glared at her, not understanding her angle. Her hand slowly fell down to her sides and she sighed. “I don’t have many friends. And I’m this close to losing my first boyfriend. I’m not like you, okay? I don’t have boobs for days and the physical features that bring boys knocking. Theo is my only shot at this. And if I don’t have that Saturday to give Theo my flower, then he will leave me. Then I will have this freaking garden down there for the rest of my life!” she cried in a whisper, her eyes filling with tears.
I couldn’t help but smile. “Your flower?” I asked, looking at the very over-the-top dramatics of Hailey. The scary part was that she seemed to be pretty serious. “I thought you weren’t ready to lose your…rose…orchid…Venus flytrap?”
Her lips turned up and her hands landed against her hips. “Oh, you find this funny? Well I’m so glad. I’m so happy that my failing life is entertaining for you.”
“It’s a little entertaining.”
She rolled her eyes and walked over to her bed, flopping down on it. “I’m going to die a virgin.”
My heart skipped, thinking about Gabby’s letter and how she wanted to lose her virginity to Bentley but never was able to. I bit my bottom lip and scrunched my face. “Okay, I’ll go.”
She perked up and looked at me. “You’ll go?!”
“Only if you promise to never go through my stuff again.”
“I promise!” she screamed, jumping up from the bed.
“And we have to find a way to cross an item off my bucket list.” I reached into my purse and pulled out my list. Hailey was quick to snatch it out of my hand and ran her eyes across it.
“Your sister made this? Wow. She sounds awesome.”
“She was.”
Hailey paused and looked up to me to deliver the sad expression I’d grown to hate. She then went back to the list and cleared her throat. “Number twelve. Give to those in need.”
I laughed, rolling my eyes. “I doubt helping a girl lose her virginity is what she meant.”
Her lips pouted and she went back to the list. “Number sixteen?” She passed the piece of paper my way and I smiled.
#16. House Party.
“Well…I guess we’re going to a party sometime soon.” I rolled my shoulders back and yawned. “But as for now, I need to borrow your toothpaste. I ran out.”
“Borrow? By all means, don’t give it back.” Hailey snickered, telling me that it was in the bathroom’s medicine cabinet. “And make sure to hurry up. Mom hates being late for Bible study.”
Going to church on Sunday with only a few hours of sleep seemed extra painful. Hailey and Ryan had to be there super early to teach Bible study, too. Rebecca said it would be a true blessing if I showed up, but what she really meant was, “You’re going to church.” One thing I’d learned about Rebecca was that she made demands with a smile, making you think they were requests.
Sometimes I watched Henry interact with her and wondered how they had come to be a couple. They appeared so different from each other that it seemed like an oddball connection. I even noticed Henry sitting in his car to smoke to make sure Rebecca didn’t find out.
But then sometimes I saw it. The way he looked at her when she wasn’t looking. The sparkle in his eyes. The way she held his hand as if it were her own hand.
His cell phone went off right before we walked inside the church, and Rebecca arched a
n eyebrow. “Who’s calling you this early?”
Henry’s eyes fell to his cell phone and he grimaced. “I’ll be right in behind you.”
Rebecca held the door open to the church for us and lectured her kids. “Remember, Hailey, a prayer before and a prayer after for the younger kids. They need to learn.”
“Okay,” Hailey said, rolling her eyes.
“And, Ryan, with the older kids… Don’t worry about that Avery boy interrupting. He’s been pulled out of the class.”
“Why?” Ryan asked, his interest piqued.
Rebecca’s face frowned in disgust. “Let’s just say he did some bothersome things. His family moved to a different church service.”
Ryan arched an eyebrow but didn’t press for more explanation.
“And tuck in your shirt. You look like a slob. Remember, God is watching.” When his mom turned away and walked inside, Ryan pulled out his fake cigarette box. I eyed his strange habit and turned to Hailey.
“What is he doing?” I whispered, moving with her toward the class she taught.
She glanced to her brother for a split second and shrugged. “Coping mechanism.”
Coping from what?
Hailey must have read my mind because she gave me a small grin. “You’re not the only one with daddy issues, Ashlyn.”
There’s two things I need you to see.
One lives in you and the other in me.
~ Romeo’s Quest
Monday marked the first day of classes of senior year. Hailey drove Ryan and me to school, and Henry promised me that he would do his best to not cross my path. When we pulled into the parking lot, Ryan jumped out and tossed his backpack on.
I climbed out, backpack straps on, and held a novel close to my chest. The plan was to always hold a book to my chest. Then maybe the guys wouldn’t look at me the way they had at my other school.
It was a lot easier to feel comfortable in my own skin when I had a built-in twin always at my side. Now I only felt lonely.
“Toss me your schedule, Chicago.” Ryan nudged me in the side with a smile. I guessed that was my new nickname from him. I handed it his way and he unfolded the paper, his eyes darting back and forth. “Ohh, you have Ms. Gain for first-hour chemistry. Harsh.”
Loving Mr. Daniels Page 7