by Posey Parks
She licked her lips, closing the door behind me.
“Have a seat.”
“Thank you, but I need to check the premises.
“I bet you’re a good fuck.” She flirted with her brown eyes.
“You arrived early. Want to join me upstairs?”
I haven’t had sex in almost a year. I’m not interested in fucking anyone right now. If and when I do, it will be with the women at the bunny ranch in Vegas. I don’t need women catching feelings. I’m not looking for a girlfriend, a friend, or an occasional fuck. One day I will fuck again. It’s no time soon though.
“I will walk the grounds. When you are ready to leave, I’ll be waiting.”
She grinned, tossing her long crinkly hair over her shoulder. “Well ain’t this a first. Are you gay?”
I smirked. “No, I’m engaged.”
She would not quit, so I decided to lie.
“Oh, congratulations. I’ll hop in the shower and get dressed. Then, we can be on our way,” she stated with a Kentucky drawl.
I smiled, turning on my heels walking into the backyard.
My heart sank standing in the hot sun. I try hard not to think about Nadine during working hours. When I’m behind closed doors in the comforts of my own home, I look in to my woman. It brings me peace of mind knowing she is doing well in school. I still have the log in code to Nadine’s school account. I wired money from one of my offshore shell accounts paying her tuition. Fuck, I miss her.
My breathing became rushed. I loosened my tie, dropping my hands against my knees. I took deep breaths. “Tony, pull it together,” I whispered. Running my fingers through my long hair, I closed my eyes. My body relaxed.
“I’m ready.” I heard from behind.
On the drive to a popular studio, I felt her brown eyes watching me through the rearview mirror.
“Is there something I can help you with?”
Her eyebrows wrinkled. “It’s just you don’t appear happy for a man who is engaged.”
I smirked. “Today is a rough day. My father died eight years ago today but I’d rather not talk about it. How do you like living in L.A.?”
“I’m sorry for your loss. It’s like night and day compared to Lexington.”
“If you allow me to guard you, you’ll learn my #1 priority is to keep you safe.”
She sat back smiling bright. “Your fiancée is one lucky woman.”
“Thank you.”
Maybe I’ll keep the lie going. Hopefully, it will hold women off for a while.
CHAPTER THIRTY
NADINE
School has been a challenge. I finished the last part of the semester late in the evenings. Francine Magarelli pulled some strings. I’m sure Princeton is tired of the Magarelli family. But what are they going to do? The Magarelli’s run New Jersey.
Cruz was with me every step of the way. He was happy and shocked when I told him I was pregnant with Tony’s baby. Francine explained to Cruz my baby wasn’t Sergio’s business. She told him his assignment is to protect me. Fran told Cruz if Sergio ever found out about the baby, she would take the blame.
Fran bought me a big beautiful house. After Fran donated a large sum of money to Princeton, the President was elated to authorize my private graduation at 8:00 p.m. in the auditorium. Cruz and Fran cheered as I walked across the stage wearing my cap and gown receiving my degree. They are my little family now. The last time I was in the presence of my parents and my sisters was two months ago. I was four months pregnant. I wore over sized clothes to hide my growing belly bump. I knew that would be the last time I would see them until after the baby was born.
Fran sits with me some nights until 9 p.m. We watch movies, eat ice cream, rub our large bellies, and discuss our babies moving in our bellies. It’s weird how she and I are pregnant at the same time. Our pregnancies have brought us closer together.
Most nights when I’m alone, I imagine Tony and I curled up on the sofa. Speaking of which, I brought our sofa from Tony’s. It’s like having a piece of him. I spray Tony’s cologne on one of his T-shirts every night before I fall asleep. I sleep better when I can smell his scent. I often talk to our child growing inside me, telling him how much his daddy loves him. And how I can’t wait until he arrives.
The only sex I’m having is in my dreams with my man. One day, maybe I’ll purchase a vibrator. Consider falling in love again…not ever.
My parents begged me to visit. I told them soon. Yeah, soon as I have this precious baby boy, I’ll visit.
“Ms. Barlow, bear down and push!” The doctor directed.
I swiped at my silky black hair sticking to my sweaty forehead. Francine held my hand tight. Barring my teeth, I pushed with all my might, grunting, and screaming.
“You got this Nadine. Push!” Francine urged.
Her smiling face and large belly were a welcome sight.
“The baby is crowning! You are doing good Nadine. Push as hard as you can.”
Gripping the silver cold bed rail with my right hand, Fran squeezed my left hand tight. My legs trembled and my body shook. “Ah!” I screamed, pushing.
“That’s it, Nadine!” Doctor Scholtz smiled.
“Your baby boy is here!”
Anthony III’s loud cries were a welcomed sound. The nurse placed my son against my bosom, briefly allowing me to get a quick look. They whisked him off to clean him up.
“Fran, he’s perfect. Just like his dad,” I cried.
She wrapped her arm around my neck, kissing my wet hair. “He is.”
“Every day, I will deliver babies. Can you believe it?!”
“I can’t believe you are so happy about it.”
I laughed. “No, Fran. It’s the joy of bringing the precious gift into the world and seeing the excitement in the parent’s eyes. I want to be part of that.”
“That’s sweet Nadine.”
The nurse brought Anthony back, lying him in my arms, latching him onto my breast. I smiled. My dark eyes met his brilliant blue eyes. I marveled as he ate his first meal.
“My love, you are finally here. I am so happy to hold you sweet heart.”
∞
Fran’s baby, Alexandria, was born a week later. Myself and other immediate family members were invited into Fran’s birthing suite after she brought her bundle of joy into the world.
Sergio smiled, walking over carrying Alexandria in his huge arms.
“She’s a beauty isn’t she Nadine?” Sergio asked, leaning in revealing his daughter’s beautiful face.
I smiled bright. “She sure is. I’m happy for you both.”
I ran my hand along the over-sized pink sweatshirt I was wearing to hide my baby weight.
“How are you holding up?”
“I’m doing pretty good…considering. Hard to believe it’s been almost a year.” I brushed Alexandria’s pretty, pink cheeks with my finger.
“Yeah, it is. Do you think you will ever have dinner with us again?”
“I’m in medical school now.”
His face lit up. “You made it! Tony would be so proud. He told me he wanted you to focus on your education and…” He looked away.
I grasped his arm, “Sergio, what?” My lips turned up then fell.
“He said after you graduated from medical school he planned to marry you and…start a family.”
Those words made me want to cry. I pushed my feelings deep down inside. “It’s comforting to know I meant the world to him. Thank you, Sergio, for telling me. I’m sure he would be fine with me knowing.” I smiled bright.
In return Sergio’s lips curled upward.
“I have to give Fran a big hug. She did such a great job.”
“My baby sure did. Thanks for coming Nadine.”
I smiled.
Sergio returned his attention to Alexandria.
“Fran!” I sang, wrapping my arms around her neck, I hugged her tight. “You did an amazing job.”
Stepping back, I brushed her wet brunette hair.
&nb
sp; “Thank you, Nadine.”
“I’ll talk to you soon. I need to get home and study,” I winked.
She smiled bright. “You do that. I’ll talk to you soon.”
Fran knew that meant I needed to get back home to little Anthony.
The Nanny Fran and I interrogated is doing well. Chloe is two years older than me. I admit her age concerned Fran and I.
I remember the interview like it was yesterday. Chloe assured us she could fulfill the full time four- year position. She understood the position would switch to part-time once Anthony began Pre-school. She’s from Little Rock, Arkansas. Chloe said she wanted to start over. We informed her this life; our life can be a little dangerous. I remember her eyes perked up. We didn’t want to sugar coat shit. She needed to know my bodyguard serves a purpose. I caught her cutting her brown eyes at Cruz during the interview.
I extended my neck, staring into her eyes, regaining her attention.
“No fraternizing with the help!”
“I understand,” Chloe replied.
“Maybe I should hire someone older.” I cut my eyes at Cruz and pointed to the door. “Take a walk.”
Cruz straightened his tie and huffed, leaving the room.
I glanced back just in time to notice she watched him leave. Was I seriously going to hire her?
“Chloe, I need to know you can focus and give my son your undivided attention. If you feel it's more important to fuck my bodyguard, we can end this interview right now!” I snapped.
Her eyes widened and her brown cheeks flushed over. “I assure you, I will provide little Anthony the best care. I have experience like I stated before. I helped my mama raise my three siblings after my daddy died. I understand I’m asking you to take a chance hiring me Ms. Barlow and Mrs. Magarelli.” Her eyes darted between us.
“I’m asking for a chance. The four years would allow me time to save money so I’m ready to live on my own when Anthony turns four.”
Something about her made me want to give her a chance. She doesn’t have a record. Not even an expunged record. We’ve explained to her how dangerous it is to work for a family like the Magarelli’s. That important fact may have gone over her head.
I sighed, running my hand over my silky hair.
“Ok, we will place you on probation status and see how you perform.”
Her hands flew over her pretty brown face. A squeal released from her lips.
Fran and I stood.
“Y’all won’t regret it,” she stated throwing her arms around our necks.
I smiled at the memory. Cruz drove the new Yukon into the garage. As much as I wanted to keep Tony’s truck, I traded it in for a new model. I sold the Mercedes and stored the money in one of Tony’s many hiding places. I enjoy living a plush life. Having the finer things in life while attending college would be any woman’s dream. But not having my man to share it with makes my life bitter sweet.
Stepping through the door into the kitchen, I noticed Chloe sitting at the kitchen counter holding my precious little one.
“How are you, Chloe?”
“I’m well and so is Anthony,” she smiled, placing him in my arms.
He cried a little in his slumber. I raised his little fingers to my mouth. “I missed you little man,” I cooed.
“Nadine, I will start dinner.”
“Chloe, I told you cooking isn’t necessary.”
She placed her index finger on her chin and her eyes darted to the ceiling. “If I recall, you enjoyed the meatloaf, cream corn, and greens the other day.”
I chuckled, rocking Anthony in my arms. “You’re right.”
I could feel Cruz’s brooding presence behind me. “Cruz, are you going to walk the premises?” I asked without turning to look at him.
“Yes, Ms. Barlow.” I heard the door close behind me.
Yeah, I was cock blocking just a little, but I needed Cruz to keep his big head in the game not his other head.
“Chloe, I’ll be upstairs in the nursery feeding Anthony.”
She nodded as she moved about the kitchen selecting various pots and pans from the cabinets.
I loved sitting in Anthony’s tranquil blue nursery. The white oversized rocking chair relaxed us both as he ate. Calm is how I felt staring at our beautiful creation. “I miss your daddy so much, Anthony Carlos Magarelli III. Your black curly hair and blue eyes remind me of him. Your light brown complexion reminds me you are part of both of us. You were created in love.”
I glanced out the window, marveling in the beautiful orange and yellow leaves dangling from the trees lining my quiet street.
“We will be just fine Anthony.”
NADINE
Sitting in the driveway at my parent’s home, I exhaled.
“Nadine, go in the house already. I will remain at a distance. Let me know when you are ready to leave and I will be right here.” Cruz smiled.
“Thank you, Cruz.”
I climbed out of the rear passenger seat of the Yukon. Strolling through the front door, I knocked. “Hello, Momma.”
My mother wide eyes met mine from where she stood in the kitchen.
“Nadine!” She ran over hugging me tight.
“I miss you so much.” She stepped back staring at my frame.
She smiled, opening my jacket. “You gained a little weight. We’ve been worried about you. Come into the kitchen. You sank into a deep hole of depression after Tony died. We thought you would never climb out.” We sat at the kitchen counter.
“I understand why you sent us your grades every semester. You wanted us to know you were working hard.” She cupped my face. “I don’t know how you managed not to fall below a 4.0.”
“It was difficult. But I was determined. I also needed to keep busy. Focusing on school helped to keep my mind off Tony.”
She rubbed my hand. “We couldn’t believe you maintained good grades. Nadine, I understand you focused on school but you could have visited occasionally.”
I smirked staring into her eyes. “I had to get prepared for Medical school. The program is grueling.”
She pulled me into her arms. “I’m so proud of you, baby. At least we could talk on the phone sometimes.”
I sat back. “Thanks for always being their Momma.”
“Awe, you’re welcome baby. We are going to the mall. Do you want to come?”
“Yeah, sure.”
My mother called my father and sisters downstairs.
They ran into the kitchen giving me a group hug.
“We missed you,” Sheree and Candace said.
“I missed you guys, too.”
I hoped out of my chair falling into my father’s arms. “I missed you so much, Dad.”
“I missed you too, Nadine.”
We climbed into my father’s four door pickup truck.
Everyone asked me a thousand questions. My father had the most.
“Nadine, I called the school to pay your tuition. They informed me your tuition was paid. I realize Tony paid it while he was alive. But who’s paying the bill, now?”
How do I explain my dead boyfriend is still paying my tuition?
“Is it those Magarelli’s?”
My eyebrow wrinkled.
My father called me a few days after Tony’s funeral interrogating me. He said after the funeral ended, he noticed how everyone greeted Sergio with great respect. I explained to my father Sergio is the Mayor. My father said he felt like he was in a mob movie surrounded by mobsters. He noted how the men huddled around Sergio. He said he researched the Magarelli’s and realized he was right. They are the mafia. My father asked me did I know. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about.
“Nadine?” My father’s eyes met mine in the rearview mirror.
“I don’t know, Dad. I only know it is paid.”
“Bull. You know they are paying for your education. I think you knew about his family, too.”
“Dad, I don’t want to talk about it. Can we focus on spending time together?
”
“Ok, Nadine,” my father mumbled.
My father and mother strolled behind my sisters and I as we walked through the mall.
Candace leaned into my ear. “Why did you move off campus?”
“It was time.”
“Where do you live?”
“In a house.”
“Wow, so vague. Don’t tell me. The deeper you got involved with Tony the more you distanced yourself from us.”
I glanced at her. “Maybe because I didn’t want all the questions. I’m here trying to have a good time with my family and all you and Dad want to do is interrogate me.”
I turned to Sheree. “How is Penn State coming along?”
I ran my hand down her long black hair.
She smiled. “I like it. I’m adjusting. Everyone isn’t gifted and smart like you Nadine. Some of us have to study hard.”
I laughed. “Oh, trust me I study hard. I hated summer school, but it paid off. Entering Medical school early was awesome.”
She wrapped her arm around my neck. “I will study hard like you and Candace.”
“Good.” I glanced over at Candace. “Do you love your career as a Certified Public Account for one of the biggest firms in Philly?”
She smiled wide. “I do.”
I wrapped my arm around her neck, kissing her cheek.
We passed a woman sitting on a bench with two screaming newborns. I felt my breasts leak.
Shit, I might need to pump soon. Fuck, I didn’t bring my pump.
Store after store, we entered combing through racks of clothes. We followed Sheree toward the food court. She wanted to purchase a cinnamon bun. More screaming babies hollered out around us. My thin breast pads had enough. My eyes and Candace's landed on my oversized T-shirt at the same time.