“Gah,” he growled as his hands flew to his hair. It was long enough for him to tangle his fingers in it, so he did, trying to calm his nerves.
“Max?” Ava said, groggy. She stretched and moved around in the covers as she opened her heavy eyelids.
“H-hey,” he replied. “You’re awake.”
She sat up, and the blankets he wrapped her up in fell around her. His eyes went right to her small breasts. He noticed the shivers break out on her skin at the sudden change in temperature. Her nipples perked up into hard points. He wanted to lave his tongue against them. He wanted to taste her skin at all. He forced his eyes up to her soft lips and then back to her dark eyes. God, he was just getting over the boner she gave him, and now he had another one. He expected her to cover up, but she didn’t. Instead, she pushed the blankets farther down her body, revealing her slight hips and then her thighs. He closed his eyes. He wanted to be inside of her so bad. She smelled too sweet, too ready.
“Does this bother you?” she asked.
“‘Bother’ isn’t the word I would use.”
He kept his eyes closed because he didn’t know what would happen if he opened them. He was practically panting with his wolf. He was so fucking turned on it was painful to stay still. His gums were on fire.
He listened to the sound of the bed creak and Ava’s feet as they touched the rug on the floor. He heard the rustle of cloth, maybe her clothes. He opened his eyes as Ava slipped on underwear, shorts, and a tank top. She wore warmer clothes last night. The tank top was sheer and didn’t hide her nipples. He thought having her covered would help him get a hold of himself. It didn’t.
“You like the way I look?” she asked. Her voice was quiet. It was a weird question. The answer was obvious. But maybe not to her, because she started picking at her fingers again.
He walked up to her to take her hands away. She was bleeding again. “Stop, Ava.” He ran his hands over the back of hers. He touched her face and slid his hand through her buzzed hair. A shaky breath left his lips as he kissed the side of her neck, her jaw. He was gone. He wasn’t thinking. This was all feeling. If this didn’t answer her question, he didn’t know what would.
“You make me wild,” he murmured. He made it to her lips and kissed her. She shivered underneath his every touch. Her lips were slightly chapped and they tasted like the strawberry lip gloss she put on earlier in the day. He plucked her lips with his, over and over, slow, asking for more, begging for it. She answered his plea by parting her mouth. He dipped his tongue inside, shallow, asking permission each step of the way. She met him with an experimental dip of her own tongue. This seemed an awful lot like a first kiss. God, he hoped he was Ava’s first kiss. He didn’t like the thought of anyone else kissing her. He wanted her all to himself. Forever and always.
He moved his hand to rest on her cheek, but he felt something warm and wet there. Confused, he stopped the kiss he really didn’t want to stop. He looked into Ava’s beautiful eyes. The dark brown color of her eyes was lighter than usual because her eyes were overflowing with tears and catching the light. A small sob broke through her lips.
Oh, crap. Did he do something wrong? He grabbed her, held her tight against him as he rubbed her back, doing his best to soothe her. “Ava, I’m sorry,” he said, desperate to fix this.
She buried her face into his shirt and held the fabric tight in her hands. “Why are you doing this?” she cried.
Baffled, he asked, “Doing what?”
“Why do you act like I’m important to you? Why are you kind to me? Why are you so gentle with me? All of you wolves, everyone here is trying to be nice to me. You’re all trying to make me feel accepted—even Derek. Even though he’s afraid of me. It must be nice to be a wolf.”
“You are a wolf…” He saw her wolf. She was smaller with brown fur and yellow eyes.
Ava drew in a sharp breath. “I’m not.” She reached her trembling hands to his face, pressing her fingers into his skin. He could feel her blood on him. “I wasn’t going to tell you this because I wanted you to hold me like this for a little longer, but the longer I wait and the more I get to know you, the more it’ll hurt when it’s over. So, I’m going to tell you now.”
“I’m listening.”
Ava took a few more breaths like she was trying to get her crying under control, but the tears wouldn’t stop, and she was close to sobbing. Too close. Max’s heart was breaking. He scooped her up in his arms and sat down on the bed. Ava scrambled in his arms, pressing her tender fingers to the back of his neck as she straddled him. She was clinging to him like she thought he would run.
Max held her close and rested his chin on the top of her head. “I’m not going anywhere,” he told her.
“I’m a witch, Max,” she spat out, angry. “I’m a witch.”
Max was pretty sure his heart stopped beating for a couple seconds. Ice crept into his veins. He thought about Derek. He thought about the shifter collector who wanted to call in a witch to turn him into a mindless sex slave. He thought about the Black Witches that made that possible. He thought about the two Trinity Shifters who were in comas because of a Black Witch.
Maybe he should have pushed her away, but his instinct was to hold her tighter, and that was what he did.
“Cedric,” Ava said. “I was the one who took Cedric’s free will and reassigned it to Erin Smith.”
“No,” Max managed, nearly choking on the word. But he didn’t let her go.
“Yes, Max. I’m telling you the truth, and I’m going to tell you more. It’s important.” She talked into his neck, likely because it was easier than looking him in the eye. She was shaking with fear. “I never knew my parents, and I grew up in a small town similar in size to Moonwatch. Chesher, Wyoming. Everyone who lived there called it Chesher Town. My earliest memories are of those streets and the graveyard I lived in. Every day was a fight for survival. Every day was another day to have someone spit in my face. The graveyard I stayed in was behind an old stone church. The people I would see there would hold crosses out to me and try to expel my demons. Others would hit me or kick me. I guess you could say I become a tourist attraction at one point, the ghost girl witch. No one wanted me to stay, but no one did anything to get rid of me either.
“One day, I ventured outside of the safety of my graveyard because I needed to find food. I saw a cat get hit by a car. It was still alive and dragged itself to the side of the road. I don’t know why I cared. Maybe it reminded me of myself. I wanted it to keep fighting, to be okay. I wanted to take its pain away. This amazing power, gold and soft, seeped out of my fingertips and into the cat, and it was healed. The cat could walk. It was no longer in pain, and it ran away to live out its cat life. I liked what I did. It made me feel… happy, I guess. The people who witnessed me do it weren’t so pleased. They called me the Devil’s child. They hurt me worse and bullied me more. They kicked me off the church grounds completely. So, I started cursing people. One time a boy pulled my hair. I was so angry this dark, purplish energy flowed from my fingers and into his skin.” Ava moved back so Max could see her cold dark eyes. “He started coughing up blood. It came from his mouth first. His nose. His eyes.”
Max wanted her to stop. He didn’t want to hear anymore, but she was telling him important things, things about her life. Things he wished weren’t true. If he cared, he had to bear the pain, too. He held her closer to remind her he wasn’t going anywhere. His throat was closing up, and he felt sick to his stomach, but he wasn’t going anywhere. How was he going to fix this?
“Chesher Town finally decided they wanted to get rid of me. I think they were planning to burn me at the stake like all those old stories say, but a witch came and took me away. Maybe she heard rumors about a witch trial. It’s an outdated thing to hear a town talking about. Out of place. The moment this witch walked in, the town fled. I had never felt such a sinister power. She could feel my power too because she walked right up to me. She told me I had potential, that I could be useful to he
r. She wanted me, and I had never been wanted before, so I left with her. She taught me no one but her would ever accept me in this world.
“She taught me about shifters. She trained me to capture them for her shifter slave business. I did whatever she asked. I had no loyalty to anyone else. I told myself I didn’t care, and I didn’t. I didn’t feel anymore. I learned to hide that part of me deep inside because it never did me any good. My sight was set on Beatrice and Beatrice alone. Beatrice has continued to push the limits of my abilities. I’ve captured countless shifters for her. And now I’m here in Moonwatch, to keep doing that same thing. She asked me to do something new, something neither of us had ever done before, and something we didn’t know was possible. I stripped a shifter woman of her wolf and put it inside of me. I stole her ability to shift. I stole a piece of Lunas. She’s been fighting me since I put her there, mindless and hurting. So much hurting.” Ava’s eyes brimmed with tears again.
“Ava,” Max said, pleading. This was getting out of hand too quickly. He was only so strong. There was only so much he could do. His heart belonged to a Black Witch. The Moon told him he belonged to a Black Witch, and she had done so many terrible things. Even if he could find it in him to forgive her, what about the rest of the world? He tried to understand, but he couldn’t see the woman in his arms hurting so many and feeling no remorse for it because she was now. She was hurting. She was telling him this even though she likely knew it would mean the end of everything, including her life. No, he didn’t hate Ava. Not even close. He loved her. So soon, so fast. He loved her.
My mate.
She needed him. She needed him to help her climb out of this hell she had been tossed into when she was a small child. She was trying to climb out, grasping for his hand, and he would give it to her. He would pull her out and plant her feet back on solid earth.
“What happened to the human side of that shifter?” Max asked.
“She’s dead. If I let go of her wolf, she’ll be dead too. She already is. She’s nothing but the anger and vengeance of a murder victim.”
Max tried to keep his breaths steady, but it was getting really hard to. He was shocked. The only thing keeping him steady was his wolf. Ava was his to protect. Ava was his.
“Max,” Ava held the back of his neck tightly and looked up at him. He pressed his forehead to hers. “I’ve always seen a white wolf in my dreams, the White Wolf. He looks exactly like yours. In that recurring dream, you always chased me in a forest of blue trees, blue spruces. I’d trip, and you’d bite me.” She touched her Lunas Sigil, revealed by the booty shorts she was wearing. “I always woke up before you killed me. The Moon marked me and you because it wants you to kill me.”
“You’re wrong.” He cupped her cheeks so he could look right into her eyes, so she would know that what he said was true. “The Moon doesn’t want me to kill you. It wants me to save you.”
Ava burst into tears again. Her shoulders shook with the agony she was feeling. “I feel so awful,” she told him. “I don’t know what I’ve been doing my whole life. This touch of warmth from Moonwatch, from you, has changed everything. And I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take it all back. I wish my dream had been different because maybe I would have searched for you and found you before Beatrice found me. Maybe I would be good.”
Max wiped her tears away. “We can’t change the past, but we can shape the future.” He kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger until Ava calmed down some.
“I want to make things right. I’m going to make things right,” she vowed as she clung to him. “Beatrice should be calling me soon. I need to tell Nick everything.”
The amount of pride Max felt at her words was immense. His Fated Mate was a fighter and good to her core. She had been dealt a crappy hand in life, but no more. That life was over. The only problem now was how to keep her safe once she came clean. Some might want a severe punishment, but he was holding her in his arms and knew she had punished herself enough already. More than enough. She never wanted to do any of this in the first place. The real villain was Beatrice and the people who set Ava on this path in the first place. To think she lived right outside of a church and no one could be bothered to lift a finger to help her. They were pious. They didn’t know what wearing a cross meant. Wearing a cross meant helping someone like Ava. It meant helping Ava, a witch.
“I’ll protect you,” Max promised.
Ava managed a smile. “I’m okay with whatever Nick decides. When I got here, I was prepared to die anyway. I’ll face whatever consequences I have to for everything I’ve done. I should go right now.”
Max grimaced. “I’ll go with you.”
After quickly wiping away a few more tears, Ava nodded. “Thank you, Max.”
A few more minutes. For a few more minutes Max was going to hold her tightly before worrying over her fingers and escorting her to the Alpha. He would give her a moment to compose herself. He wanted to give her all of that warmth she talked about. Love. He wanted to shower her with love because she had gone over twenty years without it. He couldn’t imagine. He knew love since the day he was born. To think he had been pushing away that love because he had been too wrapped up in his own self-doubt. He had been an idiot. Whether he was adopted or not, his family wouldn’t disown him for being a wolf because they loved him. Truly loved him. He had been ashamed about his lack of self-control, but they would have wanted to help him because that was what love was about.
He had even messed up in the self-love department. That was why he had such a problem with his wolf in the beginning. He rejected himself first. He didn’t listen when everyone around him tried to tell him that, because of that self-doubt. He was lucky to know so many people, human and wolf alike, who cared. It was time he stopped taking that for granted.
Now he would never have a problem with his wolf again. He knew it. His wolf was content inside of him. Maybe he wasn’t so wild after all, or perhaps he was, but he also knew when calmness was needed. The sprouted seeds of being borderline Berserker had been discarded, and that made a huge change in his wolf. If the wildness returned, he would trust his wolf because he knew that wildness wouldn’t lash out at the people he loved and cared about. Not now and not ever again.
Max had been a hypocrite all the times he thought poorly of Cedric. Max may not have abandoned a family, a wife and a child, but he left his ex-girlfriend because he didn’t believe she would accept him. Things didn’t turn out well there anyway, but it could have been taken care of so much sooner. Max had a lot more in common with Cedric than he cared to admit. At least now he could make an honest effort with the guy. With everyone.
After the storm surrounding Ava blew over, Max would visit his family. He’d fix all the things he’d broken. He would be the kind of person he wanted to be. Never again would he fear rejection because those who loved him would accept him as he was, a wolf, a shifter doing his best.
The wolf inside of him stilled so completely he didn’t recognize him as a separate piece of himself. There was no separate piece, no caged wild animal. There was only Max, and he was good enough. He would show Ava she was good enough, too.
Chapter 12
AVA WAS SHAKING SO badly it felt like her bones would shake right out of her skin. She and Max were walking in the dark of night, in the cold and snow, making their way to the Alpha Den. This couldn’t wait until morning.
It was freezing. Ava squeezed Max’s arm and moved closer to him. He wrapped his arm around her and helped stave off the cold a little more. She wished they were touching skin to skin because she couldn’t feel his warmth as well through her bundled layers of clothing. This simple action couldn’t heat her up like his kiss had. The lingering warm fuzzies of that kiss almost had her floating despite the fear gnawing on her.
When the Alpha Den came into view, one of the large burgundy wood doors slammed open as if responding to Ava’s approach. Cedric Snow was making a hasty escape. His eyes were burning the golden color of his owl’s
eyes, something Ava glimpsed for only a moment before he turned around to face the door before he made it all the way down the stairs. Nick emerged from the mansion and stalked onto the portico, a snarl on his lips and his wolf in his eyes. Gwen caught Nick and yanked him toward her before he could round on Cedric. He could have fought out of her grip, but he allowed her to hold him in place.
“You really should go home,” Nick said with a growl. “There’s nothing here for you, Cedric. Nothing.”
“There’s nothing for me anywhere,” Cedric replied coolly.
“I’ve been patient. Moon knows I’ve been patient, but you’re acting like a damn child. So, your parents gave your fortune away to your younger brother, what are you going to do about it? Fuck, Cedric. Did you even want it in the first place? Is it just an excuse to stay away?”
Cedric gave a flippant nod of his head, tossing his silvery hair to the side. He looked over his shoulder and locked his gaze onto Max and Ava. Ava pressed even closer to Max like she was trying to fuse with him or hide inside of him. Cedric’s gaze was scalding.
“What you should be worried about is her.” Cedric nodded his head at Ava. “What the fuck is your deal?”
A growl hummed in Max’s chest as he warned, “Lay off. Don’t take your anger out on Ava.”
“You move on quickly, don’t you, wolf? Weren’t you pining over a different woman like a week ago? For claiming to be so righteous and dedicated, you don’t have a problem with dropping people and moving on.” The anger in his eyes cooled to a deadness that made Ava shiver.
“Things with Lizbeth weren’t the way I thought they were. And yes, I was being stupid about the whole thing. I should have come clean with her months ago. And before that, I should have figured out that I meant nothing to her. So yes, Cedric. Yes. I am a fucking idiot, and I owe you an apology,” Max replied.
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