by Martha Carr
“Not until you loosen up.”
He stamped one foot on the grass, then the other. “There.”
Ignoring his attitude, she released him and gestured with her arms. “Now do a little spin.”
“For fuck’s sake.”
She demonstrated, laughed, and pointed at him. “Your turn.”
Johnny looked hopefully at the agent but she simply shrugged.
How the hell did I get myself into this?
He gazed across the clearing and saw Luther and Rex at one of the tables. They had both clamped their jaws on the edge of the tablecloth and stepped back, trying to pull it off—including the plates of scraps.
“The hounds are forgettin’ their manners.” He pointed at the dogs, then slipped past them and headed away from all the damn dancing.
“Wait. Johnny—”
“Y’all wiggle your little hearts out.” He tossed a hand in the air but didn’t turn to look at them. Saved by the damn hounds. You bet your ass they’re gettin’ extra food tonight.
Lisa and Amanda laughed and began to dance with each other.
Rex and Luther finally pulled their intended feast off the table and three mason-jar weights fell with the uneaten food and rolled across the grass.
“Yes!”
“Ha-ha!” Luther jumped onto the tablecloth. “Now that’s how it’s done.”
“Hey, Johnny.”
“Shit.” The other dog spun quickly and lowered his head. He looked from his master to the mess on the ground. “Wasn’t us, Johnny.”
“Yeah, we found it here.” Rex sat and licked his muzzle with a whine. “Folks are gettin’ wild and crazy tonight, huh? Pulling tablecloths off the tables. Johnny?”
The bounty hunter took an empty chair from an adjacent table, spun it, and sat. He folded his arms and stared at the dancers and his gaze returned every few seconds to Lisa and her long legs beneath the Daisy Dukes.
“Luther?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Is that his mad face or his thinking face?”
“Looks like his happy face to me. Hey, Johnny. You hungry?”
“Maybe he has to take a shit.”
Luther whipped his head toward his brother and his ears flopped against his face. “In a chair?”
“A man can simply sit in peace, can’t he?” the dwarf muttered.
“Yeah, yeah. Sure, Johnny.”
Rex took one tentative step toward his master, then stopped to stare at the spilled plates. “What about hounds? Huh, Johnny?”
“Right.” Luther inched sideways toward the spilled food. “Could two hounds, say…eat all these goodies they didn’t drag onto the floor in peace?”
He snorted and watched Lisa and Amanda dancing like crazies with a group of Everglades locals who didn’t look anywhere near sane. “I ain’t stoppin’ you, boys.”
“I knew it!”
“Johnny, you’re a hell of a guy. Hell of a—ooh! Bacon!”
Chapter Thirteen
At 6:55 am the next morning, Johnny stood at the bottom of his front porch stairs and squinted down the long dirt drive to his cabin.
“What are we waiting for, Johnny?” Luther spun in two tight circles. “Come on. Let’s go!”
“I said seven o’clock, boys. She ain’t late yet.”
Amanda opened her mouth to speak but her words were swallowed by a massive yawn that she covered halfheartedly with a limp hand. “Maybe she went back to sleep. Which sounds like a great idea.”
“Go ahead and curl up, then.” He nodded toward the front door. “I ain’t forcin’ you to tag along.”
“No, I wanna come.” The girl sighed and rubbed her eyes, then forced them open. “But why did it have to be so early?”
He frowned at her. “When would you rather wake up?”
“I don’t know. Ten, maybe.”
“Oh, sure. Sleep through half the day.”
“Well, if you didn’t keep us up all night—”
“The way I remember it, you were the one beggin’ Daphne Harrison not to pack her speakers up before we headed out.”
Amanda smirked. “Yeah. Why do people at parties always save the good music for the very end?”
“You call that good?” Johnny snorted. “You must have been at all the wrong parties, kid.”
“Whatever.” With a tired chuckle, she turned in a small circle and yawned again. “I’ll wake up on the boat.”
“If you’re comin’ with us, you’d better.” He nodded at the cloud of dust that billowed up the drive around Lisa’s rental Camry. “I need you sharp for another hunt.”
“Yeah, I’m good.” Ignoring the agent’s approach, she lowered herself onto the grass, crossed her legs, and held her face in her hands. “I can be sharp.”
“I got a water hose out back.”
She looked at him with wide eyes. “You wouldn’t.”
“You’ve been with me for three weeks, kid. Did you ever hear me say I’m gonna do somethin’ and then not do it?”
Rolling her eyes, she pushed to her feet and slapped her hands against her cheeks to smoosh them together. “Do not spray me with a hose.”
“Then don’t fall asleep.”
Lisa slid out of the Camry and reached inside to retrieve two to-go coffee cups before she shut the door with her hip. “Morning.”
Johnny looked quickly at the young shifter. “Do you drink coffee?”
“What?”
Lisa walked swiftly toward them wearing dark-blue jeans and a button-up plaid shirt. Her pistol swung slightly in her shoulder holster. “I’m not late, am I?”
“Nope.”
She thrust one of the coffees toward him and smiled. “Thanks for last night, Johnny. That was fun.”
“Woah.” Luther hurried toward her to sniff excitedly at her legs and backside. “What did you guys do last night, Johnny, huh? Usually, we can hear it when you and a lady—”
He snapped his fingers and the dog sat.
“What? What’d I say, Johnny?”
“Not in front of the pup.” Rex snorted. “And you watched her drive away last night.”
“I did?”
“Chased her too.”
“Huh.”
“Thanks.” The dwarf lowered his head to sniff the coffee. “This ain’t some damn fancy frilly shit, is it?”
“Nope.” She studied him as she sipped her coffee. “Just black.”
“Good.” He took a long slurp and widened his eyes. “Your hotel serves this?”
“It’s not exactly the Greenwich Hotel, Johnny.” She shrugged. “I’ll always take a detour for good coffee.”
“’Preciate it.” Taking another sip, Johnny turned toward the side of the house and looked at Amanda, who swayed on her feet. “Here, kid. Drink that. It’ll put hair on your chest.”
“What?”
Lisa sighed. “Johnny, it’s probably not a good idea to say something like that.”
“Folks around here say it all the time.”
“To twelve-year-old girls?”
He glanced from one to the other and his mustache bristled. “Well if she were a boy, I’d say it would grow hair on her balls. His balls. Whatever.”
“Oh, my God.” Amanda took the coffee cup absently and stared after him as he headed toward the back of the house with the dogs at his side.
“Johnny.” The agent hurried after him and shook her head at Amanda. “You don’t have to drink that.”
“I know. It smells gross.” The girl took a small sip and stared at the cup. “Woah.”
“Yeah, yeah. The boat.” Luther jumped around Johnny as his master untied the rope and coiled it on the dock. “Johnny, let’s get on.”
“We’re goin’ huntin’!” Rex threw his head back and howled.
“Hey, if I thought it was a good idea for Amanda to drink coffee, I would’ve brought three.”
The dwarf looked at her and frowned. “You were all for my parentin’ style last night.”
“Well, last
night didn’t include loading an adolescent girl with high levels of caffeine and making wildly inappropriate comments about her chest.”
“Oh…” He glanced off into the trees and sniffed. “You’re one of those.”
“One of what?”
“The ‘don’t say anythin’ ʼcause it might hurt someone’s feelings’ people.”
She folded her arms. “It’s called being considerate. Respectful.”
“I ain’t short on respect, darlin’.” He picked up a heavy black metal trunk from a stack of them against the back of the house and carried it toward the airboat.
“But I’m very sure you don’t have a”—she turned to look at Amanda, but the girl had disappeared—“clue about what goes on in a little girl’s head. Especially when it centers around her body.”
With a snort, he dropped the trunk on the deck and slid it toward the back, where he attached the loose nylon straps to two hooks on the stern beneath the giant propeller. “I’ve seen that kid fight, rip out a few bastards’ vital body parts with her teeth, and shift again as naked as the day she was born. We both have.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Naw. The point is if any youngʼun’s at home in their skin, it’s her. And I ain’t fixin’ to tiptoe around her because someone else tells me it’s disrespectful. She can handle it.”
Lisa sighed and shook her head. “You can’t teach an old dwarf new tricks, huh?”
“Lyin’ ain’t a trick, darlin’.” He stepped onto the dock and raised a finger as he passed her. “Merely a liability.”
And I shouldn’t have to defend myself in my damn back yard.
Rex and Luther scrambled onto the airboat as the bounty hunter took one of his many rifles off the flat railing of the back porch. “Yeah, get the gun.”
“What else you bringin’, Johnny? Grenades?”
“Rocket launchers?”
“Those little robot spider things?”
“Ooh, yeah. Those are cool.”
Johnny ignored them and nodded at Lisa. “Ready?”
She stood at the edge of the dock and watched him stride toward the boat again. “You said we were going hunting this morning.”
“Yep.”
“You didn’t say anything about a boat.”
He rested his hand on the throttle control stick and shrugged. “It’s the fastest way to get anywhere ʼround here.”
“Johnny, I don’t—” She swallowed. “I don’t do well on boats.”
“That so?” He sniffed. “Take it or leave it, darlin’. Either way, we’re bringin’ back game and then we’ll go take that draksa a little snack.”
“I think I’ll stay here for this one.”
“It’s your call. We’ll be ridin’ this airboat to the draksa too, by the way.”
“Of course you will.” Lisa ran a hand through her hair and frowned at the craft.
“How fast does it go?”
“As fast as I want her to go.”
“Yeah, so let’s hurry, Johnny.” Luther pranced from bow to stern and yipped in excitement. “Go fast. Hunt somethin’. Man, oh man. What a day!”
Rex sat in the bow and scanned Johnny’s property, panting. “Is the pup coming with us, Johnny?”
The dwarf frowned and cupped a hand around his mouth. “Amanda!”
A moment later, the back door burst open with a bang and the girl raced down the porch steps with her hand raised. “Coming!”
He nodded at the agent as Amanda raced toward the dock. “Last call, darlin’.”
“We’re ready to go, right?” The young shifter slowed beside Lisa, folded her arms, sighed, and lowered them again as she nodded. “Yeah, I think I’m ready to go.”
“Then get on.” Johnny started the airboat’s engine with a sharp jerk on the ignition.
“Come on, Lisa. You’ll love this,” Amanda said.
“I…think I’m good.”
“What?” She blew loose hair out of her face. “No, no, no. You have to come with us.”
“Yeah!” Luther barked sharply.
Rex whined. “Come on, lady!”
“See? Everyone wants you on. You’ll love it, I promise.” She caught the woman’s hand and pulled her fiercely toward the dock. “You don’t have to do anything—unless you wanna try to hunt with us. I wasn’t sure I’d like hunting on a boat, either, but it turned out to be awesome. You ever been on a boat like this?”
The agent chuckled nervously as she let herself be dragged down the dock. “Not in a long time.”
“Ever been hunting?”
“Well, I—”
“It probably wasn’t anything like with Johnny. He’s got all kinds of weapons. Knows how to be sneaky too, which is a weird thing to think about when you’re on a boat. Sneaky on the water. Especially with that fan. Man, it’s loud!” She hopped onto the deck and spun quickly. “Come on. It’s fine. Look.”
When she hopped up and down several times, Johnny intervened. “Kid, that ain’t helpin’ none. Come on.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry, Lisa.” She waved the agent forward urgently, then wiped her hands on her pants. “Please, please, please. You’ll love it.”
“Uh-huh.” The woman looked at Johnny, who frowned at the back of the girl’s head. “Amanda, are you feeling okay?”
“What? Yeah. Totally. I feel great.” She exhaled a sigh and nodded. “Only…uh, is it normal to have to go to the bathroom like that after downing a whole cup of coffee? It didn’t seem like that much, but whew. Went right through me, you know?”
“Oh. Yeah…” Lisa raised an eyebrow at Johnny. “I’d say that’s very normal. Especially if you’re not used to drinking caffeine first thing in the morning.”
“I think I’ll do that every day.” With a grin, the shifter spun to face him and gave him a tight, jittery salute. “Got her onboard, Cap’n. Do whatever—” She stabbed her fingers one after the other like pistons at the simple airboat controls. “Whatever you do to get it going. Let’s nail this…what are we hunting, again?”
He cleared his throat. “Go ahead and sit before you hurt yourself.”
“Yeah, okay.” She dropped to the deck and crossed her legs beneath her as he stalked toward the bow.
“A whole cup of coffee,” Lisa muttered as he passed her.
“I get it. Point to Agent Breyer.” He kicked fiercely against the dock to shove the airboat away.
The woman gasped and staggered as her arms flailed at her sides for balance. “I should have stayed in your yard.”
“You should probably take a seat, too.”
The dwarf returned to the controls, and Lisa swallowed thickly before she lowered herself to the deck on slightly trembling legs.
“Hey, lady. You stink.” Luther sniffed her and nudged her arm with his snout. “Smells like fear. Rex?”
“Check her pits. Always the first place a two-leg gets scared.”
“Oh, yep. That’s fear.”
Rex licked the side of Amanda’s face as she grinned at the water and her crossed legs jerked up and down in excitement. “And you are way too salty, pup. What did you do?”
“Ooh, lemme try.” Luther joined them.
The young shifter responded with a high-pitched chuckle and rubbed both hounds’ heads vigorously. “I love coffee.”
“Coffee? What, did you drink it? Ha. That’s nothing. One time, Johnny had this—”
Johnny cranked the throttle and the airboat’s propeller whirred to life and cut all sound out as the craft increased speed along the river.
Lisa pulled her legs up to her chest and hunched over her knees.
“Relax, darlin’. These airboats are known for staying level on the water.”
“We don’t even have life vests,” she muttered.
“Oh, my gosh.” Amanda crawled toward the woman on her hands and knees as the airboat accelerated even more and raced down the river toward the thickening foliage. “Are you afraid of water?”
“I’m not—” The age
nt shook her head and released her legs to cross them beneath her. “I’m not afraid of the water. I’ve had a few bad experiences, is all.”
“Yeah, I know what that’s like.” The girl sat beside her and grinned at the light spray blown toward them from the bow. “You know, I almost drowned.”
Lisa looked quickly at her with wide eyes.
“Oh, not with Johnny. No. It was at a beach party. My parents took Claire and me to Saratoga Springs for a few weeks last summer. It’s a crazy place if you know the right kinda crazy people, right?” She snorted. “And everyone there was so boring. There were only, like, two other kids there my age, and all they wanted to talk about was insider trading. Gag. So I went to the beach to look for seashells. I used to find all kinds of good stuff there. And there was this…”
As the girl babbled on, Rex and Luther slunk toward the stern, sat beside Johnny, and stared at her as she gestured wildly with both hands.
“Johnny. What’s wrong with her?” Rex asked, his voice barely above a whisper in the bounty hunter’s mind.
“Yeah, is she ever gonna stop talking? You should give her something.”
Rex lowered his head to sniff the black metal box clipped to the stern. “You put tranquilizers in here, right?”
“Johnny, how are we supposed to hear anything when she won’t stop?” Luther slumped onto his belly and his rear paws clicked against the huge fan’s mount.
The dwarf sniffed and steered the craft downriver. “It’ll run its course.”
“I don’t know, Johnny. What if she’s like this forever?”
“Yeah, bring the old pup back. My ears hurt. Don’t your ears hurt, Johnny?”
“Nope.” He glanced at his hounds and tried to hide a smirk.
They probably would if I hadn’t had two coonhounds talkin’ in my head all day and night for the last three weeks.
Chapter Fourteen
Twenty minutes later, they were deep in the swamp. Johnny had eased the throttle to bring them to a moderate glide across the water. Lisa slapped a bug on her neck, then peeled her sticky hair away and pulled it into a messy bun. “It sure gets much hotter when you slow down.”
“The sun’s not even all the way up, darlin’. You might feel differently ʼbout hangin’ around down here in another week or two.”