Don't Give A Dwarf (Dwarf Bounty Hunter Book 2)

by Martha Carr

  “I thought you said it would taste funny being shot so much,” Rex mused.

  “We ain’t the ones eatin’ it.” He dismantled the fence, took hold of the animal, and hefted it over his shoulders before he walked to the airboat. “If a big’un like this wakes up that fast, he needs a little more to keep him calm for a last boat ride.”

  “Hey, Johnny. Wait up.” Amanda limped down the stairs of the back porch, her sneakers in hand. “I wanna come.”

  He dumped the snoozing hog onto the boat, dusted his hands off, and stopped at the end of the dock. “Sorry, kid. Not this time.”

  She stopped hopping on one foot and gave up trying to slip her shoes on. “What? Why?”

  “You need a good lyin’ down on the couch. Maybe your bed. Whatever.”

  “Johnny, I’m fine—”

  “You got a hole in your leg and half my damn fridge in your belly. We’ll be fast.”

  Lisa joined them at the edge of the dock, now wearing a borrowed pair of Johnny’s gray rubber knee-boots. “Are we ready?”

  “Johnny won’t let me come with you.” The girl dropped her shoes in the grass and tried to put them on that way. “He thinks I need to rest.”

  The agent looked at him with raised eyebrows and the corners of her mouth turned down in surprise.

  He shrugged. Yeah, I can make one good call.

  “I think he’s right, Amanda.”

  “What?” The girl stepped away from her shoes and scowled at them. “Are you kidding me? I wanna see the draksa.”

  “It’s not the first time he’s visited and I’m very sure it won’t be the last.” Lisa put a gentle hand on the girl’s shoulder. “But this time, it’s best for you to stay home. Put too much strain on that leg, and you’ll end up undoing the healing I helped you kickstart, right?”

  Luther snorted as he and Rex padded onto the dock and headed toward the boat. “Not to mention you smell like a wounded animal.”

  “Draksa might try to eat you, pup,” Rex added. “No can do.”

  “All of you?” Amanda’s mouth dropped open. “I won’t try to fight your friend, Johnny.”

  “I sure hope not. You can prove it next time. Go on.” He nodded toward the cabin, then turned and took the few steps to join his hounds.

  “It shouldn’t take very long,” Lisa added before she followed him.

  Glaring at them both, Amanda folded her arms and watched the dwarf kick the airboat away from the dock before he started the engine and turned up the fan on the stern.

  “Hey, if you eat that steak,” Luther called, “Johnny won’t be around to see you do it.”

  The dwarf snapped his fingers. “Hush.”

  Luther sat. “Just saying.”

  The young shifter fixed them with the death-glare mastered by pre-teens and teenagers everywhere until the airboat vanished behind the reeds. “This is so stupid.”

  She stalked toward the cabin, her limp more pronounced, and left her shoes in the grass.

  After half an hour, Johnny had to increase the throttle to keep them moving at a decent pace downriver as the tide came in from the Gulf.

  “Is this supposed to happen?” Lisa asked as she leaned cautiously over the side of the airboat, her legs crossed beneath her.

  “You’re gonna have to be more specific, darlin’.” He took them around another wide bend before the thick trees and waterlogged swamp life thinned out and the river widened.

  “I mean shouldn’t we go faster when you increase the speed?”

  He smirked. “It’s the tide and it’s supposed to happen. Trust me, tryin’ to move downriver at high tide is a hell of a lot easier than fighting upriver at low tide. Safer too.”

  “And when exactly is low tide?” She tried to keep her voice level when she looked at him but it didn’t quite work.

  “You ain’t spent much time on the water.”

  “I’m a federal agent, Johnny. Not Coast Guard.”

  He chuckled and tugged his beard. “Unless you’re fixin’ to sleepwalk and head out on this airboat all on your own in the middle of the night, don’t pay it no nevermind.”

  “What?”

  “Low tide’s closer to midnight, darlin’.”

  “Oh.”

  Rex raised his head as the boat leveled when the river widened into a much larger swath of open water. “Don’t worry, lady. Last guy who claimed he was sleepwalking on Johnny’s property got a nice big chunk taken out of his leg.”

  Luther laughed. “Yeah, woke him right up. Hey, Johnny. If she sleepwalks out to the boat tonight, that means she’d have to…sleepdrive?”

  “Hey, good point.” Rex’s tail thumped on the deck. “Is that even a thing?”

  The dwarf ignored them and stared ahead at a long strip of land that cut the wide river in two. He pointed briefly, took his sunglasses out of his shirt pocket, and slipped them on. “That’s where we’re headed.”

  Lisa squinted at what looked like a narrow strip of land. “It doesn’t look big enough for a draksa. Even a small one.”

  “Not from here. Just wait.”

  They approached the location and the noon sunlight glinted off the water as the airboat skimmed the surface with a low hum. Johnny pulled back on the throttle to slow them and they coasted past the first half-mile of the long island before he finally steered them toward the shore.

  “How long does this go—oof.” The airboat thumped against the land, and she slammed a hand on the deck to keep from falling over. “Is there anything you can drive gently?”

  “Good luck, lady.” Luther and Rex leapt off the boat and sniffed the undergrowth.

  “Yeah, you’re barkin’ up the wrong dwarf for that one.”

  “Ha. Barkin’. Good one, Rex. Hey, hey! Fox hole!”

  Johnny hopped off the boat and drew the rope taut before he tied it around the base of a low-growing mangrove at the water’s edge. “’Bout twenty miles. And no. Gentle ain’t exactly my style, darlin’.”

  “Yeah, I gathered that.” Lisa stood, cast the unconscious boar a wary glance, and stepped toward the edge of the boat.

  Johnny offered her a hand but she ignored it and jumped onto the bank on her own. She wobbled and staggered forward into the lowest branches of the mangrove. He chuckled. “You only need your sea legs.”

  “Those aren’t on my bucket list, Johnny.” She steadied herself, turned toward him, and gestured at the narrow island. “So let’s bag this flaming-goo monster sooner rather than later, okay?”

  “That’s the plan.” He stepped aboard again to drag the unconscious boar across the boat, then hefted it over his shoulders. “Hey, grab that bag, will ya?”

  She climbed halfway onto the deck to snatch the small duffel bag and slung it over her shoulder. “No gun this time?”

  “I ain’t showin’ up armed at a draksa nest.” He snorted. “Except for a knife and my hounds. And you, if it comes to it.”

  “I’m not a weapon, Johnny.”

  “Naw. Merely good to have around.”

  Lisa smirked at him and cocked her head. “That was an actual compliment.”

  “That was a fact. Take it however you want, darlin’.” He trudged up the bank until the ground leveled out.

  Smiling, she hurried after him, her feet and calves protected from mud and the low-hanging branches that glanced harmlessly off the rubber boots.

  “Compliments, huh?” Rex laughed and uttered a yip. “You like her, Johnny.”

  “Oh, man. You’re done for.”

  He focused on his path through the slowly thickening mangrove trees and tried not to snag the draksa’s tranquilized snack on branches and vines. One more pro to leavin’ the kid at home. I’d never hear the end of it.

  “What are we looking for again, Johnny?”

  “Yeah? What’s a draksa smell like? Chicken?”

  Rex snorted and looked quickly at his brother as Luther trotted along and paused here and there to sniff at thick snarls of tangled branches and fallen leaves. “It
’s a lizard.”

  “Same thing.”

  “I wouldn’t call it either of those things,” the dwarf muttered. “Better yet, don’t say a damn thing when we get there.”

  “What was that?” Lisa called and brushed a thin branch aside as she passed before it whipped into place behind her.

  “Nothin’.”

  She widened her eyes and strode after him. For a guy who dishes out more explosives than words, he talks to himself a lot.

  The mangrove trees thickened the farther they moved. At the peak of high tide, the water infiltrated the island, spilled in through smaller tributaries, and filled the narrow trenches made by hundreds of high-tide overflows. Mosquitos, gnats, and cicadas hummed and droned everywhere. Combined with the muggy heat and the blazing sun overhead that cut through the mangrove branches, the effect was a damp, lulling, buzzing trance.

  Lisa sighed and wiped a sheen of sweat from her forehead. “We couldn’t have parked the boat farther down this way?”

  The dwarf snorted. “You don’t park a boat—”

  “Johnny, I smell something.” Luther turned in a tight circle and sniffed furiously at a small puddle of muddy water. “Ooh. Shiny.”

  “What’s wrong?” Lisa asked.

  Johnny turned to peer into the puddle, where a glint of silver reflected the light when Luther retreated. “Yeah, we’re close.”

  “What is it, Johnny?” Rex shouldered his brother out of the way to sniff the puddle.

  “Because of some mud?” Lisa asked.

  “A scale,” he muttered. I might as well answer ʼem both.

  He led them through the thickest part of the mangroves and ignored her hisses of surprise and stifled exclamations of “Ow,” or “Let go,” as the branches snagged her hair and clothes. When he saw the brighter light on the other side of the stand, he hunkered down beneath the mangroves’ branches and slid the hog off his shoulders with a thump.

  Lisa half-squatted, half-crawled toward him. “What are we waiting for?”

  “Shh.” He pointed up ahead to where the trees thinned.

  Wind rustled through the trees and died out again. When the next breeze kicked up in the opposite direction, she widened her eyes at the mound of silver scales that rose from the swampy ground twenty yards away. “That’s not wind.”

  “Nope. The draksa is takin’ a catnap.” He fixed his gaze on the creature’s slowly heaving sides. The silver scales winked in the light that spilled through the taller trees and vines above the clearing. Johnny slipped the rope over the boar’s head and dropped it.

  The hounds circled their master in their hiding place. Rex stretched his neck around Johnny to sniff the boar’s wiry-haired flesh. “Throw it in, Johnny.”

  “Yeah, come on. If we don’t get to eat it, give it away already.”

  The dwarf flicked the boar’s ear and tried to wake it. “Hold steady until the hog makes a run for it. Flush it out that way if you have to.”

  Lisa frowned at him. “You want me to chase a pig through the swamp without a gun?”

  He gave her a sidelong glance and pointed at Rex. “The hounds.”

  “Okay, I don’t get it,” she whispered. “People don’t lay plans out for their—”

  “Shh.” He raised a hand to silence her and flicked the boar’s ear again with his other hand.

  “Wakey, wakey. Eggs and bakey.” Luther pawed at the boar’s rump.

  “Ha. Yeah, and you’re the bakey, little pig.” Rex nudged the hog’s head with his snout.

  Johnny snapped his fingers quickly in the boar’s ear, and the creature uttered a groggy snort.

  The draksa’s long inhale paused before the exhale began and sent a flutter of hot air and leaves skittering toward the thick mangroves.

  “Smell it now?” Luther whispered.

  “Get up. Dead pig walkin’ here.” Rex growled quietly and the boar snorted again.

  Its eyes opened and nostrils flared as its senses—including the smell of two hounds, a dwarf, and a massive draksa—surged into its awareness.

  Johnny leapt away from the captive, caught Lisa by the arm, and jerked her back beneath the mangroves with him. It squealed and its legs scrambled across the dirt and leaf-strewn ground. Mud and soggy brush sprayed up beneath its hooves.

  “Get along, boys,” the dwarf shouted, then lurched toward the boar and clapped his hands. “Yah!”

  The hog’s eyes rolled in its head as it gained its feet and screamed in panic.

  “Go, go, go!” Luther leapt after it and darted aside when the animal swung its tusks. It veered away from him but Rex snarled at it on the other side.

  “Not this way, dummy.” Both hounds bayed and snapped their jaws at the terrified animal.

  The boar kicked up another spray of leaves and muck and darted through the mangrove trees.

  “Yeah, you better hope that draksa gets you before we do!” Luther howled with excitement.

  Both hounds raced after the boar and sloshed through the muck and warm, stagnant water that filled the center of the clearing like a recently emptied damn.

  A sharp burst of air cut through the clearing, followed by a flash of glittering silver scales from the swampy water in the center.

  The draksa rose from his sleeping place, unfurled an incredibly long neck from the mountain of scales, and raised his huge reptilian head to the underside of the tree branches shading him overhead.

  “Woah, woah!” Rex skidded to a halt and his front legs kicked wildly at the swampy muck to stop himself.

  “You’re a goner now!” Too excited by the chase, Luther didn’t see the mighty head and his neck coiling to strike. He gained on the hog and it lurched to the side when the head cast a massive shadow across the terrified animal.

  In the next moment, the reptile struck.

  “Luther!” Rex barked.

  The sinewy neck covered in blindly glinting scales contracted, and the draksa’s snout descended and his jaws clamped around the boar. Muddy water splashed around it, the animal squealed, and Luther dropped to his belly with a yelp and slid forward in the muck. “Holy shit!”

  The creature raised his head with a wet crunch. Swamp water and a diluted stream of blood sloshed from his mouth and splattered against Luther’s face. With a noisy gulp, he swallowed his barely chewed snack and rumbled with satisfaction. A shudder rippled through his scales from the tip of his head and down his long, sinewy neck and body. The clearing filled with a sound like rustling leaves and a rattlesnake’s rattle. Light glinted harshly off the rippling scales as he rumbled a long sigh.

  Johnny emerged from the thick mangrove stand and straightened. He walked three yards toward the shuddering draksa and folded his arms. “Well done, boys.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  “You dumb shit,” Rex muttered as he trotted toward his brother. “That creature almost got an extra snack for free.”

  His brother jumped to his feet. “You see the size of it? Holy lizard, bro. Moves faster than a ʼgator.”

  “Yeah, good thing you know how to get down on your belly. Idiot.” Rex snorted as the hounds trotted to their master’s side.

  The draksa rumbled again and coiled his long neck on top of his thick, slithering body that remained halfway submerged in the high-tide pool in its clearing.

  “Johnny,” Lisa whispered from beneath the mangroves. “Johnny, get back here. It’s about to—”

  In a silver blur, the creature thrust its head across the clearing toward him and it stopped three feet from his face. Large, luminous silver eyes the size of the dwarf’s fist focused on him. The reptile snorted through huge nostrils in his glittering snout, plastered his beard against his chest, and ruffled his hair. The dwarf stood his ground.

  “Ahh…” The draksa tilted its head. “You always bring me the best treats, Johnny. It’s been a while.”

  “I reckon neither of us has changed that much in the last twenty years.” He lowered his head. “Good thing I still know what you like.”

/>   “Indeed.” The creature withdrew his head on his snakelike neck and peered around him at Lisa, who still crouched beneath the mangroves and stared at it with wide eyes. “And you brought a friend.”

  “Hey, what about us?” Luther yipped.

  “Johnny, tell the lizard we’re not more snacks, huh? We’re friends.”

  The bounty hunter snapped his fingers and focused his gaze on the massive silver head that glittered as it swayed from side to side. The hounds sat. I told them not to call it a lizard.

  “Come on out, darlin’.”

  “Yes, do,” the draksa rumbled. “I don’t bite—intelligent humanoids, at least.” A lilting chuckle rose from his throat followed by a hiss, and a few final drops of boar’s blood spilled through his scaley lips when he grinned.

  Lisa crawled slowly out from under the mangroves and hitched the duffle bag higher on her shoulder as she straightened. “Does he always look at your friends like that?”

  “Dunno. I’ve always come solo before.”

  “Won’t you introduce us, Johnny?” The creature studied her with disconcerting curiosity.

  Johnny cleared his throat. “Lisa Breyer. Sevol.”

  The draksa rumbled with laughter. “What a pleasure. Johnny’s been hiding his friends from me for decades. I’m delighted to make your acquaintance, elf.”

  She started to correct him with a mumbled clarification of half-elf, then thought better of it. “Yeah. Nice to meet you too.”

  “Give it here, darlin’.” The dwarf held his hand out and she looked briefly at him but immediately returned her attention to Sevol who glittered a mere ten feet in front of her.

  “What?”

  “Bag.”

  “Oh.” She took a halting sidestep toward the dwarf and dropped the nylon strap absently into his hand.

  “Another riddle you cannot solve on your own, Johnny?” Sevol fixed his huge silver eyes on him. “I do love a good mystery.”

  “A mystery to me, sure.” He unzipped the duffle bag with a quick jerk and rummaged around inside. “But I’m puttin’ all my bets on your giant magical brain one more time.”

  “After such an easy snack, I’m more than happy to oblige.” The draksa’s slow, hot breath drew in and out through huge slitted nostrils as he waited.