by Brown, Tara
He kissed me, pushing his lips on mine. But it didn’t go anywhere else. The car came, the beams of the flashlights bounced about the woods around us. We were frozen, pressed against each other, and waiting for it to end, the world to end.
But it didn’t.
They drove past.
We remained in precisely that same position until Horatio came an hour later.
Chapter 13
Friday, July 26
The flat in New York reminded me of Paige’s mom’s place. It was small and cramped and old. We kept the curtains closed and stayed inside, getting food from Horatio and texts from Laertes.
His last one forced me to phone him.
“Hello?” he whispered.
“Why can’t I stay here?” I asked, staring at the text telling me he was coming to get me.
“They’re getting suspicious and father is ready for the truth.” His voice was low, like someone was nearby and listening in. “That Dr. Graves covered for you both not being there. Mother called the retreat to check in on you, likely because those were her people who couldn’t find you. Dr. Graves told her you were participating in a group campout. Since you’re nineteen, she refused to offer any details. Telling Mother that you’re an adult and have to sign a release form to give Mother access to medical records.” He scoffed. “Brass balls on that one.”
“I emailed her to tell her what happened. I was hoping she covered for us. How did Mother take it?” I didn’t imagine it went well.
“She ranted about the house like a tyrannosaurus rex in heels, stomping and shouting. And then Father said he agreed. You were too old for Mother to interfere with. And maybe if she didn’t interfere so much, perhaps you would be doing better than you are.”
“Oh damn,” I whispered, though I had no reason.
“Indeed. It has not been an easy few days at our house. And I doubt it will get better. Father got an email here at the office from Dr. Graves about an hour ago, letting him know you are being released. And that she is fully confident, so long as you never see Dr. Horkel again, as some things have transpired in your sessions, you will no longer have issues. She blames everything that’s ever gone wrong for you mentally on his abuses.”
I sighed, relieved and excited. My faith in Dr. Graves had not been misplaced. She was indeed the champion I needed.
“Father is livid, called Dr. Horkel a hack and a pervert. He has asked me to drive to the retreat and fetch my poor sister. Those were his words.”
I cringed, knowing that meant I had to come home. There was no way to ask my father to be on my side while defying his orders. I needed to face him, offer up the truth, and pray to the god I was rapidly starting to believe in, that everything landed the way I needed it to.
My mother might not face justice for what she’d done. Perhaps, the authorities would never be involved. But with my father on my side, she might be punished accordingly. I needed to decide if I could handle that. In the Jacobi family, this level of betrayal was handled swiftly and cruelly.
“Okay, I’ll come home,” I agreed.
“I will meet you in two hours. Is Lucas also going home?”
“I’ll let you know. See ya soon.” I hung up and glanced to where Lucas was lying on the sofa, catching up on the news. “I have to go home.”
“Home?” He sat up, turning off the small TV. “Why in God’s name would you go home?”
“I told Dr. Graves some things,” I struggled with the words but forced them out, “I told her everything. I kept out Paige and your dad’s ghost so we didn’t sound crazy.”
“What?” He got up quickly. “Why?”
“I needed help.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “My mom’s physician, she uses to torture me, Dr. Horkel, I needed it to stop.”
“The doctor who tested you?” He shuddered as he asked it.
“Yes, him. Dr. Graves has spoken to my father. Ensuring he is aware there has been some mistreatment—”
“That’s an understatement,” he growled.
“My father is furious. Dr. Graves has made it possible for me to out my mother, undermine her. If I tell my dad what Dr. Horkel did—”
“He will kill him,” he said flatly as though maybe he wanted to do the same. “And then he will let my uncle handle your mother.”
“I think my father might believe me. He’s been fighting with my mother for days about me. Laertes said it’s horrid there right now. If I get to my father before my mom knows, maybe I can cast doubt on her.”
“You think she’s the whole reason for everything?”
“I think she’s linked to it, maybe your dad’s death as well. Somehow. And if I can get my phone or my laptop and log into my accounts, I might find something. When Paige was showing me my phone, perhaps she was trying to show me something beyond the messages she sent.”
He walked to me, pulling me into his arms. It still felt weird, like a dream. The best and worst dream I ever had. “I want you safe.”
“Then come with me. Mother wanted us together, she won’t be upset if you’re there. She might be on her best behavior if you’re there.”
“Laertes.”
I bit my lip and thought about my brother. “You’re right. We need to handle him delicately. There’s too much going on to lose his fealty.”
“Or to hurt him,” Lucas added.
“And that, obviously. Will you be okay at home?”
“I’ll be okay. My mother loves me and Claudius is going to be busy for the rest of his life at this rate.” He was confident which was troubling. “How long until you have to leave?”
“As soon as Horatio gets back.”
“He said an hour, half an hour ago.” He perked up, grinning wide with mischief in his eyes as he walked backward, leading me to the bed.
The fight to be responsible and focused died after four steps, snuffed out by the promise of feeling him inside me again with our bodies writhing against each other.
He climbed onto the bed, dragging me with him, pulling me into his lap, and forcing me to straddle him. Our kisses were heavy and intense the moment they began, hands grabbing and bodies pressing with intention.
I’d gone from completely stressed to an afternoon orgasm atop the person I never imagined in a million years I would be with.
Soaked in sweat and pulsating with pleasure, I struggled to get my breath as I came off the high.
He was breathing raggedly and his hands gripping my butt as he throbbed inside me once more before collapsing back.
“We need to get some condoms,” I said as I climbed off and walked to the shower, again regretting at least one part of the whole thing.
“You aren’t on the pill?” he asked as he followed me into the bathroom.
“No. I’m not.” I glanced back, starting the shower.
“Oh.” He wrinkled his nose. “Would you go on the pill?” he asked, carefully.
“No. It makes me crazy.”
“Makes you crazier, you mean,” he joked and climbed into the shower, taking all the water with his height. “Condoms it is then.” He didn’t sound excited about the prospect.
“What are we going to do about Laertes?”
“Find him someone to love,” he said it so casually I wondered if he had already been working on it. “That guy Reynaldo—”
“The intern at my father’s office?”
“Yeah, him. Is by chance, Reynaldo a nice guy? Did he and Laertes seem to hit it off?”
“He works with my family. Laertes will never go for it.” I rolled my eyes. “He’s a rule follower.”
“I know.” He ran his long fingers through his hair under the water. “I didn’t think he would help us because of it. But I guess it all comes down to right and wrong.”
“And what my mother is doing is wrong,” I agreed.
Lucas lowered his gaze back to mine, water running off his hair and down his cheeks. His stormy gaze held mine hostage. “If you’re scared for so much as one second at your house, run. Come b
ack here. I’ll come and we will run away together.”
“Okay,” I agreed, understanding it might be the only plan we had.
The small bubble of time spent with one another was a blip on the screen compared to everything else.
“How did you not know how I felt?” I asked as we got out and started drying off.
“You avoided me and glared and left the room whenever I entered,” he said as though it ought to have been obvious.
“I mean before we had sex in the dirty bed, and you abandoned me to wake up alone in your gross bachelor sex pad?” My smug tone couldn’t be missed.
“Come on, O,” he said with a sigh. “I watched you fall asleep and stared at you all night long. When the sun came up, I told myself it was like Cinderella; you were one night only. I forced myself to leave and not look back, even though it didn’t work the way I wanted. I wasn’t sated. I didn’t stop wanting you.”
He wrapped his towel around his waist, showcasing the V and the abs I wanted more time to appreciate.
“If anything, I made my suffering worse.”
“Mmhmm,” I offered with some side-eye.
He laughed bitterly and looked up at the ceiling. “And the torment continues.”
Horatio entered the apartment as I walked into the living room. He wrinkled his nose, seeing us both in towels but kept his questions to the business at hand. “Laertes said I’m to bring you to the border. We’re meeting at my house.”
“We’re going home.”
His expression didn’t improve. “That sounds like a bad idea.”
“Maybe, but I think there are answers there.” I pulled on some clothes, discreetly, and toweled my hair.
“I’ll stay at the house with you while Laertes is working.”
“No. You go with Lucas, so he’s safe at his house. Just in case.” I peered back at Lucas, changing in the bathroom. “His dad died in that house.”
“Talk about tangled webs,” Horatio muttered.
I nodded and prepared to go home. The last place I wanted to be.
Chapter 14
The sight of the gate and guardhouse made me tense, to the point my brother reached over and grabbed my hand, stopping me from digging my nails into my palms.
“I won’t let her hurt you.” His words were a little empty for me. Not that I doubted his hatred for her, but his previous actions had always leaned toward the safe side of things. Safe for him. “Father already questions her motives.”
But I struggled to believe in either of them, I’d had my heart broken too many times, thinking my father would be my knight in shining armor. Instead, Mother would wait for him to leave on business and attack then. Or worse, she’d frame me for something, making him doubt me.
Laertes waved at the guard as the gate opened and drove up to the estate. A niggle of worry started in my stomach as we got close to the house.
“If Mother asks where your things are, say Horatio is bringing the bags by, you left the packing to the maids. Also, it’s Friday so Father is home early.” Laertes glanced at me. “I think we should go to the door to the study and tell him everything. Before she sees us.” He parked the car and got out quickly.
“Everything?” I asked quietly as I jumped out, following him to the doors to our father’s study.
The noise from our steps made the anxiety in my chest feel heavier. My breaths were strained and my hands sweaty.
“We can do this,” Laertes said as he opened the door to the study, smiling wide. “Father, you’re home early.”
“Son, did you get Ophelia?” He got up from his chair, beaming with mixed emotion when he saw me. He held his arms out and I hurried to them, to the sanctuary I hoped to find. “Are you all right, dear?”
“I’m fine.” I hugged him back.
We embraced but then he pulled me back, inspecting me. “You do look better. Clearer eyes and a healthy glow.”
“Thank you, Dr. Graves was just what I needed,” I said softly. I wanted to back out. I was shell-shocked from the many times I’d tried but failed to convince him of the horrid person my mother was.
But Laertes walked to the doors to the study, locking them. “We have something we wish to speak to you about, Ophelia,” he said. “Your doctor called and suggested you’ve suffered at the hands of Mother’s friend, Dr. Horkel. Father would like those details, wouldn’t you, Father?”
I flinched, a little extra something for the act Laertes was performing beautifully.
“Indeed. You have to tell me everything,” My father instructed, his tone dangerously close to the edge of shouting.
“Father, I don’t know—”
“Ophelia, Father is willing to listen. You must tell him everything.” Laertes was firm, raising his eyebrows at me. My lying was obviously not going as well as I imagined it might be.
I shrunk back, not needing to feign being afraid. “All right.” I took a deep breath and exhaled deliberately. “Where should I start?”
“Start? God, how bad is it?” Father laughed nervously. “Why don’t you tell us about when you met Horkel for the first time.”
“I was fourteen, I caught Mother having an affair. I didn’t know who the man was, but I saw her. I was downtown at the docks with Paige, and she was with a man with a red sports car. I’ve never seen one like it before. A soft white roof and white rims and a cherry-red body that sparkled in the sun. They were kissing against the car. She was wearing a Gucci scarf I gave her for Christmas. I took pictures with my phone and sent them to her. I told her I was going to show you, and finally I would be free of her.”
“Five years ago?” my father asked without balking at the news.
“Yes.”
“Was that the same time you had your first mental breakdown and melancholy?” He lifted a dark eyebrow, doubting me.
“It was.” I lowered my eyes, sure he doubted the validity of the story the same way he doubted my mental health back then.
“Well, go on,” he urged me.
“She had Dr. Horkel say I was suffering from melancholy. She said I would be locked up until I gave her the pictures and my phone. I fought for a couple days but then mother let Dr. Horkel—” I gagged, recoiling with the memory of his hands on me. “Touched me. She told him to test my virginity in front of her. He did other things.” My voice broke and my strength vanished.
“Jesus!” My father bellowed, making Laertes and me both jump. Father’s face twisted in rage, but he remained silent so I might finish.
Through tears, I relived the horrors for him. “They tormented me into giving up the evidence. No one else knew but Paige, which was why Mother was always so bent on her not being my friend.” I swallowed the lump forming in my throat.
“And more recently?” Laertes asked, leading me.
“Mother caught me going into New York to party with Paige—and had me locked up again. Dr. Horkel came here and drugged me. I woke at the retreat two days later. I have no recollection of the time in between.”
“Dear God,” my father whispered, his rage melting and quickly becoming something else. A scary, quiet emotion I didn’t know.
Tears burst from me, making my voice shaky, “Then Mother asked Paige to meet her. She didn’t know Paige phoned an unlisted cell phone with a message service as they were meeting. She recorded the whole thing from her pocket, I think. I’ve heard the recording, it’s Mother trying to buy Paige off. Paige refuses and—Mother shoots her. In the back, I believe, twice.” A sob escaped at the end with my words. “Then Mother said she killed Paige so I had a reason to be in the mental retreat with Lucas. I had someone to grieve. She told me to start a relationship with him.”
My father fell back into his large chair, his face slack, and his mouth parted. He stared at the space between my brother and me, as he digested what he’d been told.
“And you knew?” he asked Laertes.
“Some of it.”
“How could you both keep this from me?” he questioned with hurt and confus
ion.
I sniffed, hating myself and my life and everything that had led to this moment.
“I could have prevented so much death.” He remained calm, a reaction neither Laertes nor myself knew how to handle.
“We’ve clearly made some mistakes,” Laertes offered.
“Mistakes?” our father asked carefully. “You value human life so little that you would call any of this a mistake?”
I took a step back, silencing my tears and sniffles.
“My boy, this is something far beyond the realm of mistake.” He avoided our eyes a moment longer, but then glared at us both as he spoke, “Leave this with me. Say nothing to anyone. This house is filled with eyes and ears. Trust no one with this information. Play her games a little longer to keep the peace. Buy me time.”
I nodded nervously as Laertes muttered, “We will not speak on this to anyone. But you should know, Lucas and Horatio are aware of the details as well. They were with us when it was revealed.” His act of being oblivious was over.
“Send me Paige’s message.” Father nodded and waved us away.
Laertes took my hand and walked me to the doors we’d come in. He pulled me to the back by the kitchens, the one place Mother wouldn’t be. “Search fast for whatever it is you think is on your phone. Send it to father, then Horatio right away, so she doesn’t have a chance to take it off you.”
“Sometimes it’s still shocking this is our mother,” I said in disbelief.
“Don’t I know it.” He shook his head as he hugged me once more. I rushed inside and up the stairs, not taking a moment to greet the staff in the kitchen. I had no time for anything.
My stomach was in my throat and my whole body was on edge.
As I neared the top of the stairs at the window seat, I jumped.
Paige stood on the stairs. In the daylight, she was worse. Her silvery coloring shimmered with the reflection of the water she dripped onto the floor. Her clothes moved as if they were submerged. She stared at me so intently I believed she saw my soul.
It took a second of convincing myself to be brave to get my feet moving up the stairs again. I followed Paige. When she paused, I paused, seeing a member of the household staff in the hallways or cleaning an area.