Oh yeah, this was going to be lots of fun.
Chapter 4
Kinsley
“So… what have you been up to?” Smith leaned back in the seat, his legs wide, arm on the windowsill, looking very much at home and comfortable, while all the nerves in my body were tweaked and on alert to his every move and breath. The air conditioning tickled his dark locks, his heavy gaze shifting from the window to me. “How long has it been? Eight years or something?”
“Nine.” Almost exactly. I was thirteen when they all graduated, Smith immediately leaving town, never to be seen again, even on holidays. From little things my parents said and the bruises I’d see on Smith’s body, I knew his home life with his dad wasn’t great and why he was over at ours a lot. The two of them moved to our town after his mother died when I was eleven. I didn’t interact with Dan Blackburn more than seeing him come for Smith at our house, looking drunk and angry. Mom told me Dan died last year of liver failure, and Smith didn’t even come back for his funeral.
“Nine,” he repeated, staring over at me as if he was finally noticing I had grown up in those years. I stirred in my seat, my skin dotting with sweat, even though the chilly air blew straight on me. “Your brother said you just graduated from San Diego University. Congratulations.”
I lifted a shoulder in a shrug, feeling the emptiness that came with the congratulant sentiment. I worked so hard to come out the other side, but I felt even more lost than when I went in. Along the way I was supposed to find that thing that got me excited or at least put me on the path toward the thing I wanted to do. But walking across the stage, the dean handing me an empty diploma jacket, seemed very apropos.
Blank of purpose.
“Don’t tell me—the youngest Maxwell has no clue what she wants to do with her life.” He faked horror, his lips twitching with humor.
“Shut up,” I grumbled, annoyance coating my tone.
Smith burst out laughing, the sound deep and thick, sending heat and annoyance up my neck.
“You really haven’t changed, have you?”
“What do you mean?” He opened his arms, motioning to himself. “You don’t think I’ve changed since you last saw me?”
“More muscles, but fewer brain cells.”
He snorted, shaking his head. “Little premature to judge me so early on.”
“You forget I knew you. Was the only one who seemed to see through your bullshit.”
“You didn’t like me very much.”
“Still don’t.”
Instead of reacting like a normal person when insulted, he chuckled, his eyes igniting with life.
“All I was going to say was I think you’re perfectly normal, Baby K. Most people don’t have a clue what they’re going to do right out of college. Your brother and sister are the abnormal ones. Do you know how many people actually use the degree they went to school for? Not even thirty percent.” He rubbed a hand through his silky, dark hair, his attention going to the flat desert passing the window. “Why I didn’t bother. I always knew college wasn’t for me.”
I remembered he graduated because the football team didn’t want to lose him, which I found appalling. He never struck me as someone even remotely dumb. Actually, sometimes he would come out with a quote from a book when I’d ask if he knew what a book even was. He almost flunked out because he couldn’t give enough of a shit to attend classes.
“So, if not college, what have you been doing these past nine years.”
A slow, naughty smile curved his mouth, his attention still out the window. “Living.”
“Could you narrow it down?” I rolled my eyes. “What do you do for work?”
“Do you want to know what I do for money, or what I do that makes me happy?” He grinned at me, evading the question.
“So… prostitution then.”
A choked laugh snapped up his throat, his head tipping back. “Then I would be making money doing something I loved and am very good at.”
“Oh my god, will you just answer the question?” I exhaled, hitting the steering wheel.
“Will what I do tell you about me? Will you have me all figured out?”
“You know what? Forget it. Don’t answer. Actually, don’t talk unless it’s to tell me which airport to drop your ass off at.”
“I’m good, thanks.”
A low grumble hummed from my throat, focusing on the road, the heat pounding off the pavement in blurry waves in the late-afternoon sun. Picking him up set me back almost three hours.
“Construction. In Santa Monica,” he finally said, staring out. “But recently moved to Hermosa Beach.”
“Santa Monica and Hermosa?” I lifted my eyebrows. I had been in the area once for a weekend. Sadie and I drove up, staying in some low-budget hotel because it was so expensive around there. The boardwalk and promenade were fine, a check off my list of places to see. We drove through Hermosa and Redondo on our way home. It was beautiful along the coast and so were the people, but the whole celebrity/film world wasn’t really my thing. Everything felt so fake, shallow, and plastic. Probably why he loved it. An endless collection of models and actresses. “Strange we had only been a few hours from each other and didn’t know it.”
“What would you have done? Come visit me?” He turned his body to me, his head tilting. “Ventured out of your little controlled world and had a drink in a dive bar with a guy you hated growing up?”
“Controlled world?” My lids narrowed, glaring at him. “You don’t know me.”
“And you don’t know me,” he countered, glowering back. “But tell me I’m wrong, that you don’t have an app on your phone marking every site, every stop, like a bland, cliché travel book? Displaying all the typical sites you are supposed to stop and see on a road trip, but deep down you don’t give a shit about seeing half of it. Tell me, the largest ball of twine is on your list, isn’t it?”
“Fuck you.”
“If it will dislodge the stick up your ass.”
“Oh my god.” I yanked the wheel to the side of the road, popping us in our seats like corn kernels, dirt billowing around us as I came to skidding stop, Goat sliding off the bed. He got on his feet, his tail wagging, moving up between the two front seats.
“Get out!” I pointed at the passenger door, glaring at Smith.
He stared back at me, emotionless, his hand absently petting Goat. Calm. Cool. Not at all fazed by my sudden stop.
“I said get out! Find another way there. I’m done.” I jabbed my finger toward the door again.
“No.”
“No?” I repeated.
“You’d actually leave me in the middle of nowhere in this heat?” He thumbed out the window. “Where I could be kidnapped and taken advantage of? I mean, there are a lot of cougars out there, heading to Vegas, on the hunt for something like me.”
Forcing myself not to laugh, I shook my head.
“You are vile.”
“And you are full of shit.”
My mouth dropped.
“You’re not going to kick me out in the desert.”
“You wanna bet?”
“Sure.” One word and the challenge was laid at my feet.
Fury clawed up my back, strangling my chest. At him. At myself… because he was right. I wouldn’t. I didn’t like him, but I couldn’t do that to anyone. Plus, my sister and brother would kill me.
I stared down at the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white before I let out a strangled cry of frustration. Goat moved to me, his nose nudging my arm, his sweet face wanting to ease my troubles. I threaded my fingers through his fur; his tongue licked at my hand, calming me.
We didn’t deserve animals…
“When you’re going to challenge someone, Baby K, make sure you can follow through.”
“Don’t test me,” I growled at him. “And don’t call me that. I hated it then, and I despise it even more now.”
“Why?”
“It’s condescending and makes me feel like I’m sti
ll an eleven-year-old, gawky girl.”
He muttered something under his breath that sounded like, “Fuck, I really wish you were.” But I couldn’t be sure.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He clapped one hand on his thigh, rubbing it absently. “So… what’s first on your list?”
My eyes snagged on his hand, the way his jeans embraced his muscular legs and…
“Kinsley?” His voice snapped my head up. A smugness twitched his mouth, telling me he totally saw me checking him out. My cheeks flooding with color, my head nodded to the vast land stretched out in front of us.
“I was going to stop in Joshua Tree for lunch, but that’s out of the question if we want to make it to Phoenix by tonight.”
“Why do we have to make it to Phoenix by tonight?” he countered.
“Because…”
“Because you have a place booked?”
I huffed out my nose. “Yes.”
“Let me get this straight. In the middle of the day, in boiling heat, with a dog, you wanted to stop in a desert to have lunch at a café near Joshua Tree… because?”
My mouth opened, but nothing came out, my thoughts mocking me. To say I had been to Joshua Tree. To check it off my list. Rolling my lips together, I peered out my side window, feeling stupid.
“Is seeing Joshua Tree something you really want to do?”
“Yeah.” I tipped up one shoulder. “I’ve seen pictures of it and thought it was so cool. I know spring is best, but thought while I’m passing through…”
“Have you ever camped in the desert before?”
“No.”
“Then you are missing out. Spring is great, but a summer night in the desert is amazing.” He rubbed his hands together. “What do you say, Maxwell? You want to sleep under the stars tonight?”
Leaning back in the seat, I peered over at him, running my hand over Goat, his mouth open, looking up at me with the same expression. Can we? Huh, huh?
Crap! Taking in a deep breath, my head bobbed. “Sure. Why not.”
“How did you know about this spot?” I pulled my cooking stove from the back, handing it to Smith. The sun was just starting to kiss the horizon, brushing the white clouds with a rainbow of brilliant colors: blues, purples, yellows, reds, and oranges. By the time we picked up some groceries and drove out to a spot Smith knew about, where it was free to camp, the sun was starting to dip in the sky.
“We can set up later.” He ignored my question, motioning me to follow him. “See if you can just be in the moment without taking a thousand pictures.”
“Telling me what to do?” I dug out my phone, holding it up, snapping a dozen pictures, while I lifted my eyebrow at him, laying down the challenge.
He snorted, folding his arms, staring at the view. I tucked my cell away, matching his stance, and took in the landscape. Goat plopped down between us, oblivious to the beauty, panting from chasing bunnies and lizards.
It took me several minutes before I relaxed and denied the urge to take more photos, which I would hardly ever look at after, and be in the moment. My senses finally absorbed the unbelievable beauty, the colors blurring the harshness of the land.
Taking a deep breath, the smell of sunbaked earth and the perfume of cacti and other plants curled into my nose, my shoulders lowering. Birds swooped in the sky, looking for their prey as long-eared rabbits and scaly reptiles scuttled over the ground, going underground for the night before they became dinner.
Everything crackled with life and beauty.
“I think people get so preoccupied with showing everyone else what an amazing life and experiences they’ve had, getting the best picture for everyone to gush over, they forget to really live in the moment. To be there and experience it. Live it in person and not behind a screen.” He spoke next to me.
I didn’t respond, but I agreed and knew I was guilty of being one of those people. Technology had made us consumed with showing others our every waking moment and thought, getting likes or responses. Did we do anything anymore just for us? Have the experience without anyone knowing? Like the moment didn’t actually happen if we didn’t share it on social media.
“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Smith exhaled. “I always forget how peaceful it is out here.”
“You’ve been here a lot?”
He glanced down at his boots, a nerve twitching his eye. “Twice.”
I waited, but he didn’t go on.
“Ah.”
“What?”
“A girl.” I stared out, for some reason not wanting to look at him.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“So, you have me all figured out?”
“No.” A smile cracked my lips, my gaze sliding over to him. “Kasey does.”
He bit down on his lip, his head bobbing in understanding.
“She might have mentioned you recently broke up with someone.” I faced the sunset again, the colors deepening every time I blinked, all my problems and frustrations feeling a million miles away. “Put two and two together.”
“Not the same girl who brought me here.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “But thanks for reminding me what you tell one twin, the other one hears.”
“Don’t I know it.”
“Yeah, I guess you would.” His arm bumped mine, jolting zaps of electricity over my skin, his blue eyes catching mine, burning with light from the last rays of the sun.
For a moment we stood watching each other, shadows and colors painted around us like some movie set.
Crap, this guy is hot as hell. The thought went through my head, and instantly I shoved it out, a flush of embarrassment and fury shooting up my spine. Jerking away, I turned for the van. “We better set up before we lose all the light.” I didn’t wait for his response, hiking back to the car.
“Yeah,” he muttered behind. The feel of his form batted at my skin as I dug into the back of the van, pulling out the groceries and food for Goat.
Get it together, Kins. Yes, he’s stupid sexy, but you don’t like him. It’s just because I am lonely, lost, and have been plunked down in some crappy romantic movie scene.
It could turn anyone brain dead.
Chapter 5
Kinsley
Flames flickered up as if they were trying to touch the bright stars filling the sky to look like someone spilled glitter on black paper.
“Wow,” I whispered, staring up. Goat curled half on my lap, filling the rest of the camping chair. Both of us were full and content, snuggled into a light blanket. Smith had cooked hamburgers and corn on the cob, and we washed it down with cold beer. It tasted so good, better than it should have, but open air always made me hungrier, and I swear it woke up my taste buds. Cooking had never been my thing, so I cleaned up, and now I rubbed my belly and took in the light show above us. I had never seen a sky so full of stars; the atmosphere felt close enough to touch.
The night was mild, but a twinge of a chill was in the air, and I had been far too lazy to change into jeans, using Goat and the blanket to warm my legs.
“Coming out here puts things in perspective. All those worries and problems, things you thought were wrecking your life, seem a little less here.”
My chin dipped down, my gaze landing on Smith across the firepit we built, his choice of words flicking curiosity across my brow. He was laid out on a blanket, his arms behind his head, staring up at the sky.
“Are there things… wrecking your life?” I shifted in the portable chair.
He exhaled, his attention staying above, not speaking for a while. “Don’t we all have things?”
“But I asked if you did.”
His sharp eyes slid to me, then back. “I thought you hated me.”
“I do.”
“Then I guess it doesn’t matter if I do or don’t.”
I scoured my forehead, annoyance itching my limbs. “I guess you’re right,” I clipped, needing to move, the tightness in my bladder giving me the
perfect excuse to get up. “Forget I asked.”
“Already forgotten.”
My teeth ground together. What was it with this guy? No one seemed to aggravate me more quickly than him. Always had. Most everyone considered me very easygoing, never really getting mad. Even when I found Ethan screwing a girl in the bed I had been in the night before, I just turned around and walked out, never yelling or causing a scene. Even as he ran after me pulling up his pants, I calmly got in my car and drove away. Ignoring his calls, his pleas to forgive him and give him a second chance.
From an early age, with two very headstrong siblings, I was the one who didn’t want to make waves, who avoided conflict and drama, who stayed quiet in the background.
But Smith? Even when I was eleven, he roused my temper. His smirk and ego had me wanting to bring him down a few pegs.
I inched Goat off my lap. He was sleepy from running around chasing critters for the last two hours, but he snuggled back into the blanket as I rose.
“You going somewhere?” Smith peered over at me.
“To pee, if it’s okay, Dad?” My tone sounded a little snottier than I meant. It was beautiful out here, but one thing lacking was the amenities you’d find in RV parks… like bathrooms and showers.
“Just be careful.”
“Thanks. I think I have this bathroom thing down by now.”
“You sure, Baby K? Looks like you just got out of diapers.”
“Fuck off,” I snapped, grabbing a wad of disposable tissue and stomping deeper into the dark desert, hearing his rumble of laughter follow me out into the clear night. “God, he’s still such an asshole,” I muttered.
“Heard that!” His bark of laughter shot hot coals of fury into my nerves.
“Good!” I yelled back, moving farther out, not wanting him to hear me pee.
Venturing behind some brush, I tugged down my shorts, crouching low, starting to do my business, when something scuttered over my chucks; its tail curved up ready to strike at any moment as if it was saying, Come at me, bro! I dare you!
A scorpion!
Fear snapped at my lungs, my body reacting without thinking. A gurgled cry came up my throat as I kicked it off my foot and scrambled back. The shorts still around my ankles caused me to tumble back on my ass. Onto something… something prickly.
Smug Bastard: A Hero Club Novel Page 3