by C R Riley
I roll my eyes. “The paper tiger. Yes, I remember now.”
He chuckles behind me as he tightens his hold. “Be careful Larkin, the last time you called him that he pounced.”
“I remember.” I whisper, as a shiver travels through me.
“What else did he want you to promise him?” Soft lips brush my ear as he whispers those words. “Did it have to do with love?”
“Yes.” I admit softly.
He nudges me to stand up. “My butt is numb. Let’s go sit in the living area and gaze out over my kingdom while you share that with me.”
I allow him to guide me to a sofa. He takes a seat and tugs me down next to him. Once we are both seated and comfortable, he uses a remote and turns off all the lights. The view of the city’s glow is inspiring. I decide then I want to tell him everything.
“He wanted me to find love. Told me that when I found it to grab on and never let go. He wrote me a letter. I learned that Randal had secretly been in love with me almost the entire time he knew me.
“In the beginning he felt our age difference was too large. I was a nineteen-year-old college student procuring my bachelor degree. He was a twenty-five-year-old grad student working hard to achieve his dream and change his stars. So that first-year friendship was all he felt was appropriate. Then he claimed the timing never seemed right. His work, my school, one of us always seemed to be in a relationship or just getting over one. Ultimately it was the brain tumor that he alleged kept him from making his move. Except in the end he did and then he killed himself.” I pause there because I need a minute to figure out what to share next.
Antonio being exactly who he is, seems to understand my tactic and doesn’t want me overthinking it. So, he turns his head and is now staring at me. I can feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of my head. “Look at me.”
“No.” I defiantly tell him. “You are just going to make me say what I’m not sure I’m ready to say yet.”
“Look. At. Me.” How does he do that? Say his words in a manner that doesn’t sound harsh but also leaves no room for question.
No. The word is on the tip of my tongue, but won’t come out. So instead I turn my head to glare at him, hoping to let him know how angry I am with him for making me do this.
As soon as my head turns all my angry dies and is replaced by an entirely different emotion. “Why are you making me do this?”
A hand encounters my face and caresses it softly. “Because you need to say whatever you need to say. Until you do, we cannot move forward. I want us to move forward Larkin. It is significant and there is only one way to get what we both have been searching for. Tell me.”
It takes me several minutes to do as he requests. I stare into those brown eyes until I find my courage inside of them. The words begin pouring out of me and I couldn’t stop them even though I’d like to.
“He died and I hate him for never telling me how he felt. It was selfish of him to tell me when he knew he was going to die. When he had it all planned out like he did. I hate him for making me question my worth, always wondering why. Never able to ask him all of those questions because he was a coward and left me. Said all those things in a stupid letter, where I couldn’t argue with him about it. All those times he encouraged me to rant, and the one time I really needed to, I couldn’t because he freaking left me to deal with it on my own. I can’t even live in the city I grew up in because it is too painful to walk around and remember. To think about what could have been if he had just been honest with me from the beginning. Every corner, building, and smell, everything holds a memory that sucks the life right out of me. So I hide in other cities around the world, hoping to forget him one day.
“Most of all I hate that he has tarnished every relationship I have every tried to have since him. He claimed he loved me, but that isn’t love. What he did to me isn’t love at all, not the kind of love he claims it was. And him telling me he wanted me to find love and hold on to it was a lie. What he wanted was for me to suffer like he had suffered, to punish me for something I couldn’t fix. I hate him because he knew me better than anyone and had to have known what it would do to me. What he did shattered me into a million pieces and putting myself back together hasn’t been easy.”
I can’t believe I said all that. I’ve thought it many times, but never really said it. Never admitted how much I hated Randal for the pain he brought on after stirring up something unexpected inside of me. Giving me hope for something that he knew we would never be able to have.
“You loved him.” Antonio’s voice breaks through my wandering thoughts.
“I believe I thought I loved him. We were close. He made me feel safe and I was able to let myself go around him. There was no judgment between us. We were both able to just share our deepest thoughts, no matter how weird or wrong they might have been, and the other person listened without passing judgment.
“Up until that night my feelings for him were what they were. He was my best friend, the brother I never had, and the only person I ever felt safe around. Then it all changed after that. I realized he had been keeping secrets from me all along. That he didn’t trust me like I thought he did. That I wasn’t as safe as I had always believed when I was with him.
“There is a fine line between love and hate. His confession did wonders for my self-esteem where love was concerned. I began to perceive myself as unlovable, questioned if me opening up completely to him was the real reason he decided not to pursue his feelings for me. Maybe witnessing me at my worst scared him off. Deep down I started thinking about all those times he laughed at me was more of an expression of his relief, realizing he was dodging the bullet. His secrets put a wedge between us that made it impossible for me to really get to know him.
“And after his death, I felt like I never really knew him at all, that our relationship had been one big fat lie. One sided. I gave of myself completely, invested everything I had, believed him when he told me he cared and loved me. All that was destroyed, so the love I thought I had for him quickly turned to hate. And that hate for him has left me suspended in a place that no one could ever reach. Kept me from ever really letting anyone else in. Left me floating just out of reach, preventing me from ever having to feel anything like that ever again.”
By the time I’m finished I am once again staring out the large window, gazing out at the city. Sitting here so high above it all, looking down from above, is a huge metaphor in my mind. My whole life I have always felt like I was always looking down at others while they went about life so easily. I was always just out of reach to make any real connections with those living happy lives below me.
“Larkin.” Antonio’s deep pleasant-sounding voice next to me has a smile forming on my face.
“Maybe all this time I was just waiting for the right person to come along. The only man capable of enticing me to linger just a little closer to the ground so he could reach up and snatch me out of the sky.” I rotate my head and look at him again. “I didn’t love him Antonio, not really.”
His thumb skates across my bottom lip. “How do you know for sure?”
“I just do.” I tell him as I run my own thump over his lips. “I just do.”
A low growl rumbles from deep inside of him. I know what is coming and I am ready for it this time. So, ending up on my back, with such a powerful man above me, doesn’t at all surprise me this time. His attack on my mouth doesn’t shock me or make me gasp.
His babbling in the numerous languages he speaks makes me giggle. I’m not sure he really knows that he is even doing it. I without a doubt am going to have to figure out how to learn to speak all of these languages so I can understand him when he gets like this. I get the impression he is saying some very beautiful words that would most likely send me into a panic.
When I catch one word repeated over and over again, I begin to recognize it. My brain kicks in again, so I place my hands on his chest and give him a hard push to make him stop kissing me.
“What did yo
u say?” I ask as I run my fingers through the hair freely hanging over his forehead.
In his perfect accented voice, he repeats the last thing that came out of it. I recognize it as French only because of the way he enunciates the words. “Je pense que j’ai juste pourrais tomber follement et profondenment en amour avec vous.”
“Amour? I know that word. Why do I know that word? What does that mean? What are you saying Antonio? Tell me.” I try my best to make those last words sound like him when he gives me that same order. I fail miserably.
“In time mi lunaita.” He leans down and kisses my nose. “I will tell you when I know for sure you are ready to hear the words.”
I start to protest, but his lips attacking mine halt me from doing so. I know I know that word. So later tonight when I am back in my hotel room and I am trying to get some sleep I will Google it.
“Excuse me Your Majesty.” A male voice echoes off the walls.
Antonio rises up off of me and uses the remote to slowly bring up the lights. “Yes Gino.”
I also sit up and don’t miss the surprised expression on the other man’s face when he realizes what he might have interrupted. “My apologies Miss. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“Gino. What is so important that it couldn’t have waited until morning?” He asks his guard.
I try not to laugh at the sight of Antonio. He looks a little out of sort. Not at all like the King he is.
He has red lipstick once again on his mouth. His hair is out of place in several areas, his clothing is ruffled a bit. When he stands, I notice him shift things around down there and realize just how disheveled he really is. Then when I glance down at myself, I realize I’m not that much better.
“There was an accident Sir. Justice Batista, along with his wife and one of his daughters, they have all been taken to the hospital. Initial reports claim it was a shooting. Someone opened fire on the vehicle they were in, killing the driver and wounding one of the bodyguards. The vehicle flipped several times and all three had to be cut from it and were taken by helicopter to St. Augustine’s Medical Center. I thought you might want to know.”
“Thank you.” Antonio dismisses him and I can tell this means our night is coming to an abrupt end.
“It’s fine. I understand.” I assure him. “I need to go anyways.”
“Progress tonight was made Larkin.” Antonio cups my face. “I will do my best to always be honest with you. Thank you for sharing tonight.”
His phone starts going off like crazy.
“You need to take care of this. I can see myself out.” I express as I pick up my bag. “Go. Do what a King does and know I understand.”
He grabs my face with both his hands. “Amour is used in many languages meaning the same thing … love. I told you that I think I might just be falling madly and deeply in love with you. I don’t want to be like him Larkin. I don’t want you to ever have to wonder what I am thinking or how I feel. I will do my best to always tell you, because you, mi lunaita are worthy and most definitely lovable.”
I knew I knew that word. Amour. Love.
He thinks he might be falling deeply and madly in love with me. Well that makes two of us then, because I’m pretty sure I have fallen head over heels for this man, there is no doubt about it.
Chapter 20
Antonio
The last two days have been very busy for me. I have spent most of my time dealing with what happened to the Batista’s. Making visits to the hospital, offering my condolences, and doing my best to figure out exactly what went down.
The best anyone has been able to come up with is that Justice Ivan Batista was targeted. There was a major case recently presented to the five Justices. Two voted for, two against, while Justice Batista was on the fence for several days. Days before he finally presented his against verdict. There were a lot of very unhappy people about that decision; especially since it was in contradiction of everything, he claimed he stood for.
It was public knowledge that he would be at an event the night it all came to a head. Making it very easy for any persons wanting to achieve their idea of justice to get to him.
This was a hired hit that much we knew. The family was heading back to their home on one of the major highways after leaving the event. Using a familiar route when a car pulled up next to them and opened fire. Several rounds were sprayed down the vehicle, killing the driver first. Causing the vehicle to veer into traffic, triggering it to flip down the highway several times. Two other vehicles were involved in the accident and luckily no one inside of those was seriously injured.
The Batista’s were not so fortunate though. Not only had the driver been killed, so had Lady Eva Batista. Her injuries were so critical that she died in route. Ivan was not fairing so well either. He is still alive, but no one is giving him much of a chance for survival. And his daughter, Lady Dalia had a rough go at it for a while, but now expected to make a full recovery. They say she took the news of her father’s injuries worse than her mother’s death. Having known the family I’m not sure that really surprises me. I was told Eva was very unhappy with her daughter for not securing the crown like planned and that those two have been at it ever since.
I just left the hospital after spending a few moments with her. I’d like to report that she was not her typical viper self, except that would be a lie. It didn’t take me long to realize she was going to try to use this as her way back into the fold.
Some people just never learn really do they?
It had taken everything inside of me not to call her out on it the first time. The moment I walked in her room I wanted to turn right back around and walk out.
There was a nurse tending to her. In true Dalia fashion she was giving the poor woman a piece of her mind. Being the rude Lady I have seen now several times over since our breakup.
How she kept that hidden from me I will never understand, because it is very much a part of her true character. She is the rare chameleon viper who nearly slithered her way inside the Palace.
“King Antonio, I knew you would come when you heard.” Dalia said in that voice that made my blood boil.
“You know that the King and I were practically engaged once. A misunderstanding is all it was. I knew he cared more for me than he has been declaring.” She was spilling all this of course to the nurse, hoping to trap me into doing as she bid.
“Please come sit Your Majesty. I have so missed you.” Flashing me that vial smile I once so easily fell for.
I remained standing firmly at the foot of her bed. “I came to offer my condolences Lady Dalia. I am very sorry for your loss. Please know the Reyes’ family is praying for your father. My mother sends her love.”
“I always liked your mother. Lovely woman.” She patted the bed. “Sit with me for a while. We have so much to discuss. Clear the air between us so we can move forward.”
“I can’t stay Lady Dalia. I have other obligations this evening. I am here only as a courtesy and you should not read more into it than that. We will do all we can for you and your father. Those responsible will be punished to the full extent of the law.” I turned to leave, needing to get out of here before she makes me say or do something very un-king like.
“That’s it?” Dalia barked out showing her true colors once again. “I nearly die, and all you can say is all of that nonsense. My mother’s death means no more to you than your cold condolence. My father is fighting for his life and you simply promise to punish those responsible.
“To think the people actually believe you have a heart inside that cold body of yours. That woman you are messing around with, the American, she will never be enough for you. She will never understand what a King’s needs are. Never be able to …”
“Enough!” One loud word is all I ever have to say to quite a room. “I am sorry for your loss. I hope your father recovers. I even hope that you recover fully. What happened to your family is a tragedy, and because your father is one of my Justices, I stopped by to see if you w
ere okay. I can see that you are just fine and exactly the way I remember you to be.
“And for the record, practically engaged means nothing more than I was smart enough to realize that you were a snake in the grass waiting to strike. And if you ever disrespect my girlfriend again, you might want to remember who I am exactly. Bitterness does not suit you well Lady Dalia. Good day.”
I stormed out of there so fast I’m certain my men had to jog to keep up with me. That woman’s ability to get under my skin and make me wish we still lived in a time where I could ring her up had me fuming. I can’t believe I once thought she was the one.
Her insults about Larkin made me want to remind her exactly who I was. And I guess in a way I did, but not really in the way I wanted to. Larkin’s words in the garden came back to mind when I saw red because of her. How Dalia knew which buttons to push to get me to react and that I so easy took the bait. This time I tried to keep it to a minimal at least.
I’d watched the nurse’s face twist into a grin when I refused to be swayed and sit with her. Caught her nod when I told Dalia to never insult my girlfriend again. Noticed her lips moving as she muttered the words, well done Sir.
We pull up to the hotel Larkin has been staying. She is the last one still keeping a room here, probably because in another week she will be heading to Homero to begin work on Maximiliano Chateau. Everyone else has now secured housing in the city.
I still haven’t told her that Isabel and I will be joining her. Summer holiday is starting in a few weeks and I plan on spending it in Homero. Had planned on doing that long before I met Larkin. It was the reason the cottage, where those hired to take care of the chateau lived, had been cleared out and was made ready for a King.
It wasn’t nearly as big as the twelve-bedroom chateau a few miles down the road, but it would suffice. Six bedrooms if you must know, four upstairs all with ensuite bathrooms, along with two off the main floor. I wanted to offer Larkin the bigger one downstairs but was told absolutely not by my head of security. The room had already been equipped for my needs as King, with all the security measures in place, so that was that. She would have to take the last available room upstairs.