“But what if… what if people react badly?”
“Then it’s their problem. This is your life, babe, and you get one shot at it. You have to do what makes you happy, not what you think is going to make everyone else happy.”
Max took a shaky breath. “I’m going to have to finish it with Zoe and Lisa, aren’t I?”
Sian nodded and released his hand. “I can’t believe you’re dating someone properly. I can’t wait to meet them.”
“Oh my God, Sian, what if they find out about last night. What will I do then?”
“Claim cowardice and idiocy, they’re not likely to question that, and then beg for forgiveness.”
“I thought you were supposed to be my friend,” Max grumbled, folding his arms and scowling at her.
“I am, and that’s why I’m giving it to you straight.” She stole his cigarette from the ashtray and took a final drag before stubbing it out and blowing smoke into the fresh, cool air. “I have to go to work. Message me and let me know how you get on, okay?”
Max leaned back in the chair, stretching his arms out behind him as he watched Sian leave. He could go back to bed, he was tired enough, but he couldn’t bring himself to. It felt wrong to lie in bed with anyone other than Rick. He sighed and went indoors to fix another drink.
LATER THAT morning he was in the lounge watching a movie when Zoe and Lisa came downstairs. Everyone else was still in bed. He took a deep breath when he heard them coming. It was now or never, and then maybe he could relax. All this tension was running him ragged. How had his life gotten so complicated?
“Morning,” they said in unison and sat on either side of him on the couch.
“Where’s Jasmine?”
“She had to go.”
“Oh. Good. I need to talk to you both about—”
“Look, Max.” Lisa placed her hand on his knee. “Do you mind if we go first? There’s something important we need to say to you.”
Max scrunched his brow. He supposed he could wait a few moments longer. Besides, he was outnumbered. “Okay, sure. What is it?”
Zoe took his hand in hers. “Max, I know we’ve had a lot of fun over the past few years, the three of us, but Lisa and I have decided we want something a bit more serious now.” Max’s jaw dropped. This was the last thing he needed right now. “We wanted our last night with you to be memorable, which is why we invited Jasmine along, but Lisa and I are going to be exclusive from now on.”
What the fuck just happened? Max tried to speak, but words failed him.
Zoe mistook his reaction for distress and rubbed his shoulders, apologizing profusely, trying to soothe the blow.
Last night didn’t need to have happened. Max felt sick. He could’ve avoided cheating on Rick. His whole body was trembling, and he took a ragged breath.
“We’re going to go now,” Zoe said, and Max stared at her through glazed eyes. “I’m sorry; we never meant to hurt you. I hope we can still be friends.” Zoe kissed him on the cheek, and they both left.
Max sat on the couch, staring into space, stunned. Sian was right. Fuck. Claiming idiocy was looking like the best plan right now. It was still very early days, so hopefully Rick would be able to forgive him. He didn’t dare think about what he’d do if Rick couldn’t. It wasn’t like he had any choice but to tell him. He’d rather Rick heard it from him than from Pete or Tony.
Messaging Rick, Max told him he needed to see him as soon as possible. He fidgeted as he waited for a reply. He didn’t have to wait long.
Is everything okay? I’m teaching all day but I have a break at three. Meet me then?
He took a deep breath, relieved this mess would be sorted out today, one way or another. Relaxing into the couch, he tried to ignore thoughts of how badly this could turn out, but the longer he sat there, the more he panicked. There were still a few hours before he was meeting Rick, and he was exhausted. With his bed now empty, he padded upstairs, stumbled into his room, and fell onto his mattress. Despite how edgy he was feeling, within moments he was fast asleep.
“MAX!” HE jolted awake to the sound of Sian knocking at his door, and he rubbed his eyes.
“What?” he said, grumpy at having been woken.
“I’m coming in.” Sian opened his door, which he’d left unlocked. “Are you decent?” Her hand was covering her eyes, and she peeked through her fingers.
“Very funny.” He rolled over to face her and pulled the comforter up to his chin. “What do you want?”
“I—”
Max caught sight of his watch on the bedside table. “Fuck!” He leaped out of bed, and Sian shook her head as he pulled some pants onto his naked body.
“What is it?” she asked, bemused.
“I’m meeting someone at three.”
Sian snickered. “You’ve got five minutes.”
Grabbing his jacket and motorcycle helmet, Max kissed Sian on the cheek and dashed past.
“Tell them I said hi.”
He slid down the banister, sprinted to his motorcycle, and rode as fast as he could.
As he parked outside the dojo, ten minutes late, he saw Rick leaning against the building, waiting for him.
“Sorry,” Max said as he removed his helmet.
“That’s okay.” Rick pushed off the building and sauntered over. “Nice bike.”
“Thanks.”
“Come on, let’s go for a walk.” Rick led Max toward the back of the building, and they joined a tree-lined path that ran alongside the stream, heading away from town. “What’s so important?” Rick nudged Max’s shoulder. “Not that it isn’t great to see you.”
Oh fuck. This was going to be a disaster. With all the rushing about, he’d not had a chance to plan how he was going to broach this. He waited until a couple of approaching cyclists had passed to give himself a chance to gather his thoughts before speaking.
“How’re your classes going today?” he asked, trying to buy a little more time.
“Max.” Rick stopped and touched his arm. “Don’t tell me you’ve come all this way to make small talk.” He took Max’s hand—and Max hoped Rick wouldn’t feel how nervous he was—and led him toward a bench, releasing him when another cyclist approached. “What’s up?” he asked once the stranger had passed.
“I need to tell you something.”
“Okay,” Rick said.
“I don’t want you to find out from someone else, or to find out later and have it cause problems for us… but I wanted to tell you anyway, didn’t want to hide anything from you—”
“I don’t see what could be so important as to cause a problem, but go on.” Amusement danced in Rick’s eyes. Fuck, he was not getting this.
“Right… well… um, anyway… last night. I wasn’t expecting it and didn’t plan—”
“Max, spit it out. I haven’t got long until my next class.”
Max cringed and felt queasy as the words left his mouth. “I kind of slept with Zoe, Lisa, and Jasmine last night.” He couldn’t bear to look at Rick, terrified of his reaction. When Max eventually risked a look, his mouth dropped. “What are you laughing for? It’s not funny.”
“You can sleep with whoever you want. It’s not like we ever said anything about being exclusive.”
“Wh-wh-what?” A wave of horror engulfed him, and despite the warm sun beating down, he was cold.
“You know I want you. That’s all that matters. Three at once, huh?” He raised his eyebrows.
“You’re not mad at me?” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This was not what he thought he’d signed up for.
“I know your reputation. And I knew you had two girlfriends. Don’t worry. Besides, I’m not looking for a serious relationship at the moment. I need to focus on my career. I’m going into this with my eyes wide-open, trust me.”
“I wish I was,” Max mumbled.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing.” Max tried to act cool as he organized his thoughts.
“Look. I really like you, yo
u know that, and I want to spend a lot more time with you. But let’s take this one step at a time, huh? My career is so up in the air at the moment….” Rick looked at the time on his cell phone. “Come on. We need to start heading back.”
Max stood, his head in a daze as they retraced their steps.
“So are we still going to have our date?”
“Um, yeah, sure.”
Rick touched his arm, and Max looked at him. “You okay?”
“Yeah, fine.”
“After my fight we could come back here, maybe?” He winked at Max. “I’ve got an idea about how we can spend time together without worrying about being interrupted. The fight should be a good matchup. It’s over at Elfinbrook Stadium, so if you meet me here, we can take my motorcycle?”
“Sure.”
They stopped by Max’s bike, and Rick stroked his cheek. “I wish I could kiss you right now.”
Max flinched away and put his helmet on, wondering how many people Rick had kissed since they’d met, and it made him feel sick.
IT WAS Wednesday, and the intense heat of the afternoon sun burned Max’s bare skin as he dangled his legs out of his bedroom window. He hummed along to his music and watched the world go by, as he so often did.
He was trying to avoid thinking of anything to do with Rick, but it was near impossible. The thought of Rick with someone else had haunted him for days. He’d never in his wildest dreams thought that Rick would be more promiscuous than him. Max had finally felt the urge to commit to someone, only to find out that it wasn’t even an option. How was that for fucked-up?
Shunning Rick’s persistent texts was proving more and more difficult as the week went on, but Max didn’t know if he could do this Rick’s way, and didn’t want to see him until he had this figured out.
The bitch of it all was that the thought of sharing Rick was heart-wrenching, but the thought of not being with him was excruciating. It’d only been a few days since he’d seen Rick, and he was already missing him like crazy.
The gentle rumbling of a motorcycle slowing jolted him from his thoughts. He opened his eyes to see it pulling into the driveway and watched with vague interest as it parked. He didn’t recognize it. It must be one of Tony’s friends. He was about to close his eyes when the rider looked up at him and took a cell from their pocket, waving it as if to get his attention. Max jumped as his cell began to ring.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Rick
“AREN’T YOU going to answer your cell?” Rick called up to Max’s window and then removed his helmet. “I’ve been trying to reach you for days. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were avoiding me.” He tilted his head and held Max’s stare. “Fancy a bike ride?”
Max looked away and smoothed his fingers through his hair.
“I think we need to talk, don’t you?”
Max swung his legs around and disappeared inside, and Rick was relieved when Max finally emerged from the front door, dressed in his leathers.
“Did you bring water?” Max asked as he pulled on his helmet, which was black with a grinning silver skull painted on the back.
“Yeah, I’ve got some here.” Rick patted the saddlebag of his dad’s customized Harley and wished Max was pleased to see him.
Max’s black Yamaha had matching skulls on the fairing that gleamed in the sunlight as he fired up the engine. He revved it a few times, and Rick barely heard him above the noise. “Where are we going?”
“Someplace we can talk away from prying eyes. Marigold Lake.”
Rick was nervous as he backed the Harley off the driveway. Max seemed distant… too distant. He took a deep breath and slowly pulled away, checking over his shoulder to make sure Max was actually following him. He was. And the sight of him didn’t help Rick’s nerves one bit. He’d always believed there was nothing sexier than a guy on a powerful motorcycle—but Max took it to a whole other level.
If he’d blown his chance with Max, it’d be a long time before he stopped kicking himself for being so stupid.
He’d surprised himself with his reaction to Max’s confession—he’d been relieved, and then he’d panicked. He knew he should’ve told Max about Angelo there and then.
By the time his brain had caught up with his mouth, it’d been too late.
Rick’s thoughts were in loops as they rode along the dusty desert roads. He always came out here when he needed to clear his head, the combination of riding a powerful bike and then the peacefulness of being out in nature worked every time. He hoped it had the same effect on Max so they could have an honest discussion about what was going on between them.
By the time the rocky desert landscape began to change, becoming greener as they drew closer to Marigold Lake, he still wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to say to Max. He hoped he could avoid making things worse.
They pulled into the empty gravel parking lot and left their bikes in the shade of the trees, then walked along the overgrown grassy track that led to the lake. The scent of the towering pine trees perfumed the breeze and guided them along the steep path. Despite the cooler temperature up here compared to town, it was still hotter than he’d been used to back in Leatherton. Rick handed Max a bottle of water, taking a sip from his own, and they walked in silence.
The lake was a deep, dark blue today, with a hint of glistening yellow-green at the far edge where the lake was shallow and the sun strongest. As they reached the bank of the lake, Rick knew he was going to have to be the one to get things started. After walking to a secluded spot by some trees, he reached for Max’s hand, sat on the grass, and pulled Max down to sit next to him.
Rick exhaled. “You want to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?”
Max shrugged and gazed across the lake, clutching his knees to his chest. “Not really.”
“You’re pissed at me. That’s why you’ve been avoiding me?”
Max glanced at him. “Not pissed… just… I dunno.”
“What?”
He didn’t answer.
“If you don’t talk to me, we can’t sort this out. Do you want us to sort this out?” Rick held his breath as he waited for Max to answer. He knew he was taking a gamble, but surely Max wouldn’t have come all the way out here if there wasn’t some hope.
“I guess I needed time. It’s been pretty intense.” Max finally looked him in the eyes, and Rick’s stomach flip-flopped as Max’s expression softened a little.
“Yeah. It has.”
“Urgh, I dunno what I’m thinking right now.” Max huffed and rested his head in his hands. “It’s all so messed up.”
“Messed up?”
“It was never this hard when I slept with girls. And we’re not even sleeping together yet.”
“Yet?” Rick couldn’t help but smile.
“Tell me, Rick, would it really affect your career so much? Being with me? How demanding do you think I am? Seriously? ’Cause I’ll tell you now, I know it’s still very early days for us here, but I don’t want us to be able to sleep with other people.”
“But you sleep around all the time. It’s all over the internet. Are you telling me that you suddenly don’t want that?”
Max pulled a handful of grass and opened his hand, letting the strands catch in the breeze. “You shouldn’t believe everything you think you’ve seen.”
“What are you talking about?”
Max sighed. “Let’s just say I’ve become pretty good at this over the years.”
“At what exactly?”
“Making people believe what I want them to about me.” He picked up a rock, examined it, and threw it toward the lake. “You don’t have to have sex with someone if you’ve passed out drunk. Luckily for me, most people aren’t as honest as they claim. I’ve lost count of the number of pictures girls have put on social media where I’m in their bed and naked, but nothing happened.”
Rick’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious?” Had he really read Max that wrong? His palms were damp, and he wiped them on the gr
ass.
“I had to make it look like I was sleeping around to keep Tony off my back. I guess he thinks that’s how normal people live their lives, because that’s what he likes to do.”
Rick tried to ignore the heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach. After his talk with Tony, he knew Tony was doing his best to look out for Max and take care of him. If only Tony realized how much damage he was doing to Max in the process. “That’s why you drink so much?”
Max squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. “It makes it easier.”
He needed to convince Tony and Max to talk to each other. Properly. “Max—”
“I told you. I don’t want an open relationship. I never have.” He stared at Rick. “I even broke up with Lisa and Zoe. There’s no one else now. Do you agree with Tony? Is that what’s going on? Or is it that you’re doing this because you feel sorry for me and are planning to finish things as soon as I’m not a shiny new challenge anymore?” His eyes were pleading. “Be honest with me, please. I’d rather know the truth. I’m fed up with all this pretending.”
Rick sucked in a breath. There was no way he could keep the truth from Max after what he’d said. It was confession time. “Like I said, I wanted an open relationship… partly because it makes it easier to focus on my career, as I’m not sure what my next step will be, but also because I messed up too.”
Max’s jaw dropped. “What?”
“You hadn’t called me. I thought you were blowing me off. I didn’t realize—”
“Angelo.” Max jumped to his feet, breathing heavily as he paced back and forth toward the muddy banks of the lake.
“How did you—”
“I’m not blind, Rick.” Max spat out the words, but then his shoulders sagged. “How could I be so fucking stupid?”
Rick’s mouth was suddenly as dry as the desert road. “I didn’t want you risking everything for me if you weren’t completely sure. How was I supposed to know you were going to change your mind?” Rick closed the distance between them and tucked a strand of hair behind Max’s ear like he’d done before, his fingers lingering. “You’re the one I want, not him. Look, we’ve not been on a proper date yet, so perhaps we could start fresh from here? Forget how we both messed up.”
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