by Tl Reeve
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She took a sip of her tea. She didn’t want to dissect the harsh bite of jealousy and the swamping feeling of drowning on dejection. Neither one made any sense to her after finding out the truth about Rapier. It was irrational and she had no reason to feel as she did, anyway.
“Oh please.” Keeley waved off Danielle’s answer. “I heard what Jace said.”
“So, what? Rapier gave me a hug. Big deal. Let it go.”
Keeley snorted. “Your ability to lie sucks as well. Let’s try this from the beginning, shall we?” She cocked a brow before taking a drink from her blended beverage.
Danielle sighed. Her sister wasn’t about to let any of this go. “We had a conversation about our... Friendship.”
“Mmhmm, and?” Keeley pressed.
“And nothing. He smelled Caden in the house. He asked, we discussed. I found out he has a mate. Like I told you before we left.” Danielle shrugged.
“You’re leaving out a shit-ton of stuff. I know it. Jace was pissed.”
He had been. Danielle didn’t understand why, until she put it all together. It was a territorial thing, but it was more. Jace hadn’t made a move with Loraine and according to everything she knew about Blake, not even with him. He went on defensive mode with Rapier because of Caden. And, instead of lashing out at himself, Jace took his anger out on Danielle in the form of ‘how could she do this to Caden,’ when she hadn’t done a damn thing. Guilt was eating at Jace. Guilt ate at Danielle, too. Hence why she’d tried to explain everything to Rapier.
“His issues, not mine. I sorted it out with Rapier and we’re good,” Danielle answered. “He’s been a great friend to me, Keeley. He’s helped me out when no one else could and... Yeah, I might have had misplaced feelings for him.”
Keeley sat back in her chair, wearing a dumbfounded expression on her face. “But, you understand things with Caden won’t change, right? You get he is it no matter how much both of you are fighting it.”
“Why do you think I’d been talking to Rapier?” She glanced down at her hands, unable to meet her sister’s gaze. “I had to explain everything and apologize for leading him on. Then Jace showed.” She frowned. “Things went downhill from there.”
“And Rapier, in the midst of all this, confesses he has a mate as well?” Keeley chuckled. “Jesus, I could write a soap opera about this shit.”
“No one would believe you,” Danielle muttered. “It’s all a mess. I can’t even figure out how I feel about Caden. Why I was a bit jealous of Rapier having a mate and a bit broken by it, too.”
“Because you want what we have,” Keeley answered. “You want the connection. You want the relationship. You want it all.”
Maybe. “I’ve come to a point in all of this, I simultaneously want to be left alone and cared for. I want to go back to the way things were before, but...” Danielle shook her head. A lump formed in her throat, and her heart raced. The anxiety of even thinking about what happened turned her stomach.
“You’re worried it’ll happen again,” Keeley added, reaching across the table to take Danielle’s hand. “Oh, Dani. I can’t tell you it will be different this time. I can’t tell you anything will change. But, I desperately hope it does. I want you as happy as I am so bad, I can taste it.”
Danielle’s bottom lip trembled. “I can’t do this.” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “I don’t have the strength. I don’t have the wherewithal to walk down this path with Caden once more and worry, every time he leaves, will this be the last time I see him? Will he reject our—my son again?”
Keeley was out of her chair in a flash. She gathered Danielle up, hugging her tight. “Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t taint your heart and your soul with fear.”
“It’s hard not to. Have you looked at me lately?”
“I have,” Keeley admitted, letting her go. “I guess I’ve been walking on eggshells with you too. I didn’t want to intrude. I didn’t want to upset you more than you were already, and I guess, I let you down too. It’s always been us against the world. Then we came here and it’s made me question everything and everyone. I have no excuse.”
“You don’t need them,” Danielle assured her. “It’s my fault too.”
She supposed, while she cleaned a kitchen she’d hardly used in the last year, she carried the weight of the blame. How could she not? Every decision she made was a conscious one. She could use the anguish, the anger, and the depression, but at the end of the day, she put herself in that position. She neglected herself—dug such a deep hole she didn’t know if she could see the light of day.
“Yeah, well, you aren’t and weren’t alone.” Keeley scowled as she crossed her arms. “Can you forgive me?”
Danielle tilted her head to the side. “What?”
“Oh, don’t start.”
“I heard the words coming out of your mouth, but I’m confused why you’re apologizing to begin with,” Danielle answered. “Here.”
She took her sister’s hand and allowed their connection to fully open. She didn’t harbor any ill will towards Keeley. She wasn’t mad at her. Maybe a little envious, because, after everything she and Kalkin had been through, they came out on the other side together. Nevertheless, she didn’t place the responsibility on her sister.
“You shouldn’t be doing this,” Keeley hissed. “You’re still regaining your strength.”
“I’m so sick and tired of everyone telling me what to do.” She released Keeley’s hand. “Now you can apologize.”
“For what?” Caden. He placed his hand on her shoulder and stupid her, she soaked up the warmth he offered.
She still couldn’t reconcile the warm fuzzies she experienced whenever he wrapped his arms around her. Or when he nuzzled her neck. The fact her toes curled when his lips pressed to hers sent up several red flags. The small part of her that still hoped and loved Caden pushed its weight around. And, she wanted it. Dammit.
“Nothing,” Danielle answered. “It’s—hey, what are you doing here anyway?”
Caden pointed across the road with a grin. “Sheriff’s Department.”
Duh, idiot. “Right.”
He smirked, then leaned in to rub his nose across hers. “I also wanted to check in with you. See if you needed anything.”
“Oh, she needs something alright,” Keeley muttered.
“Shut up, Keeley.”
Caden growled. “Later, pumpkin.” He brushed his lips over hers. “Do me a favor, please.”
“What?” Danielle glanced up at him in confusion.
“Don’t go anywhere alone. If you see anything... Off. Let me know or if you don’t feel comfortable yet telling me, tell Jace or Kalkin. Okay?”
Danielle stared at him for a moment, shocked by his request. Then, she grew suspicious. “Does this have to do with Crow? We were going to check up on him after lunch.”
Unease and something else, worry, but worse, filled him. However, he appeared calm on the outside. She tried to figure out which part of his emotions belonged to her question and statement. “We’ll be fine. We won’t be alone. We’ll be with Charisma and Marie.” If anything, the anxious energy in him spiked. “Caden, stop. What’s wrong.”
He scrubbed his face. “It’s nothing. I think I’m a little too jittery. Nervous. Everything is trying to go in this new direction. Anyway, think nothing about it.” He kissed her again. “I’ll see you later. We’ll talk about Crow then.”
Before she could answer him or question him more about the energy he was putting off, he jogged across the street. She glanced at her sister who held her hands up and shook her head, like she didn’t want anything to do with it. “So weird.” It didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t taken in an orphan before or helped one heal either. So, what gives?
“Ah, there you both are,” Mrs. Martin called, as she ambled down the sidewalk towards them.
“Mrs. Martin?” She hated how suspicious her tone had been. “What can we do
for you?”
“It’s not what you can do for me, it’s what I can do for you, dear.” She patted Danielle’s hand before taking a seat beside her.
“Okay.” Danielle exchanged a look with Keeley. What do you think this is?
Set-up, perhaps? Keeley gave a small shrug of her shoulders. Do you think Caden put her up to this?
No. After everything he told her, if he had more to say, he’d do it himself and not rely on anyone else. No. Besides, I doubt if he asked Mrs. Martin to tell me anything. She’d make Caden do it himself.
“You girls should know, it’s impolite to carry on a silent conversation.” Mrs. Martin arched a brow. “I used to make Kalkin and Caden tell me everything they were thinking of, including visualizing some female wolf, naked.”
Another pang of unwarranted jealousy hit Danielle square in the chest. “Sorry. Habit. We were trying to figure out what information you might have for us. We’re a little surprised is all.”
“Of course you are, dear.”
When she didn’t continue, Keeley cleared her throat. “We appreciate how you’ve been helping us with Crow.”
Mrs. Martin waved her sister off. “Not even an issue.”
So... What did she have to say? “We were actually on our way to go check in on the boy, see how he’s settling in.”
“Good, good. Not what I’m here for, though.” Mrs. Martin settled herself into a more comfortable position. “I came to give you a little information about Caden.”
Caden? “Why?”
Mrs. Martin pursed her lips and gave Danielle one of her patient looks of, ‘don’t question me.’ “I believe we all understand my reasonings by now.” True. Since the moment they moved to Window Rock, Mrs. Martin had been a steady force to be reckoned with. She didn’t mince her words, and she didn’t say anything she didn’t mean. She also had a steeliness to her spine that compelled a person’s attention. She’d also never steer them wrong, no matter how much her advice might sound weird or a bit eccentric.
“Sorry,” Danielle murmured. “Any light you can shed on this would be appreciated.”
“Much better.” A smug expression filled Mrs. Martin’s features. “As I was saying. I thought we should speak about Caden.”
“That’s my cue to leave.” Keeley pushed back from the table. “Maybe I’ll go visit Loraine, tell her about my idea.”
“Keep your butt in the chair, missy.” Mrs. Martin cut her gaze to Keeley. “You should hear this too. It also affects Kalkin. It’s something I should have told you way before now.”
A sense of foreboding filled Danielle. What could Mrs. Martin possibly say about Kalkin and Caden that she’d been so sure to keep secret before, but needed to tell them now? Danielle’s heart gave a heavy thump, and her stomach knotted. All thoughts of eating the sandwich in front of her fled. She glanced at Keeley. Her startled expression did nothing to calm Danielle one bit. A million different scenarios ran through her mind. Could all of this with Caden have been a mistake? Did he have someone like Rapier did, only he chose not to acknowledge them, and Mrs. Martin was trying to protect her? Had Kalkin been lying to Keeley about Caden as well, to keep their family secret?
The more she allowed her subconscious to flow, the more it twisted her ideas of what could be so important Mrs. Martin had to tell them now. She folded her hands in her lap, so neither woman could see the way she clenched her fingers together, then released them. Her knuckles turned white, then red several times as she tried to control the erratic emotional tide brewing within her.
“Mrs. Martin...” Keeley cut her gaze back to Danielle. “I think talking plainly here would be prudent.”
“Fine, dear.” Mrs. Martin turned her attention to Danielle. “What has Caden told you about his childhood?”
Danielle blinked. “Nothing. We’ve never discussed it. Kind of hard to do so when you’re thrust into a shit situation.”
The older woman frowned.
“Kalkin told me a little bit,” Keeley stated. “They were brought to an animal shelter as pups and left there for two years. Mrs. Martin and her husband found them and brought them home.”
“What?” Danielle couldn’t believe what her sister said. Brought to a shelter? How did they not know Caden was a boy, not a wolf? Her mind spun as questions swirled through it. None of it made sense. Who’d do that to their children? Then, she remembered how she came to be Aiden’s mother and her heart broke. “How did you know where they were?”
“Loose lips sink ships,” Mrs. Martin said. “It just so happened Mr. Martin and I were at the gas station on the edge of town when their parents pulled up. Of course, you have to understand, it’d been a while since we saw any of the Raferty boys in town. They were rabble-rousers, you see. Causing mischief wherever they went. So, to not see them on a regular basis, concerned us. But, because Kalkin’s father was a drunk, and horribly abusive, we avoided confrontations whenever we could. We didn’t want the boys to be hurt. Anyway, their car was packed to the gills with their stuff, and they pulled a small rental trailer behind it. Mr. Martin and I looked all through the car for the boys, but nothing.”
Danielle frowned. “How horrible.”
“It gets worse, my dear,” Mrs. Martin stated.
I’m sure it does. She glanced over at her sister. Did you know this?
Keeley gave a small shake of her head. Only the part of Mr. Martin finding them and bringing them home. Jesus, Dani. I can’t even think of what could have happened if he hadn’t found the guys.
Yeah, neither did she. Do you think there is a reason why Caden didn’t tell me this?
Uh, other than the fact they were left in a shelter by their parents? Nope. Danielle didn’t miss the hint of sarcasm in her sister’s tone. Kalkin said everything has always affected Caden more. Maybe this is it?
Maybe. “So, what happened next?”
“Mr. Martin went into the gas station to pay for our fuel and overheard the conversation between Mr. and Mrs. Raferty. They were both high as a kite and drunk as well. Russell, my husband, didn’t know if he should call the Sheriff, or let them leave; however, the minute they said where the boys were, he didn’t give a rat’s ass if they killed themselves. He had to get to the Apache County Animal Shelter and save their lives—if they were still there.”
Obviously, they were or else this conversation would’ve never taken place, yet Danielle couldn’t banish the knot of dread twisting her gut. She had a feeling this story only got worse instead of better. “What happened next?”
“Russell told the person behind the counter, he overheard someone say there were wolf hybrids at the shelter and he wanted to adopt them, if they were still available,” Mrs. Martin replied. “All four boys were frightened to death. They’d been placed on a euthanasia list because they’d been there for two years and no one wanted them. They were also becoming feral wolves.”
Danielle’s heart broke. “Oh God.”
“From there, I’d like to say their story became one of fairytales. Unfortunately, as they grew older, the full moon began to lead them by the dick.”
Danielle blinked. “Uh...”
Again, Mrs. Martin waved her off. “I might be old, but I’m not dead. Now hush. I wasn’t finished telling you the story.”
Danielle eyed Keeley who was currently biting the inside of her cheek as her eyes sparkled with amusement. “Sorry?”
“Apology accepted, dear.” Mrs. Martin ran her hands down the pleats of her dress. “Caden was the first one to get himself in a bind. He wouldn’t tell us what happened, but I’ve had my suspicions over the years. Mackenzie was the second to get himself caught up in Tiffany and Marjorie’s little games. He swore up and down he found his mate, and of course between Kalkin and Caden, Caden was glued to his brother’s side almost twenty-four seven. But, he retreated, you see, and anything to do with his eldest brother, Caden wanted no part of it. I figured it was growing pains. Russell never got in the middle of it, so neither did I. Anyway, Mackenzie planned
on taking the pack over from Mr. Martin when the time was right. However, he wanted to be established with a mate and children.” She shook her head. “That’s how he got mixed up with Raymond Quincy.”
“What happened next?” Danielle leaned forward. She had to hear the words. Had to understand what made Caden tick and why everything had gone to shit for their whole family.
“I think you’ve seen the rest. Mackenzie got Marjorie pregnant. Royce was dumped on their doorstep, and Mackenzie disappeared after Marjorie told him she’d never be his mate. From then on, nothing was ever the same for the boys.”
Yeah, Danielle knew the rest of this story. Caden had retreated. He’d been suspicious of everyone, and she’d been the first person he’d sort of opened himself up to. Then Simon had to ruin it. He filled Caden’s mind with such venomous things, he didn’t know which way was up and to have a woman tell him she carried his child...it had to have put him back into the moment Mackenzie disappeared. “What do we do now?”
“Not we, Danielle. You,” Mrs. Martin said. “Caden has done some horribly atrocious things to you and Nicolas, but now you have to give him and yourself the strength to heal. No matter the costs.”
* * * *
Rapier stood outside in the bright mid-afternoon sun, reviewing electrical plans for the orphanage, for what had to be the fifth time in a matter of hours. They hit a snafu not long after they started. Wy, the youngest Dryer, noticed when they started to pull the boxes of coax, it wasn’t up to Keeley’s specs. Rapier thought he’d screwed up the order. Come to find out, their wire distributor sent the wrong type of coax cable, and never bothered to tell him. Nor did they tell him they didn’t stock what he’d originally ordered. He’d spent the last hour on the phone with them, ripping them a new asshole. It took another hour to find a supplier who did have what Keeley required—next week if they were lucky. His brothers were currently giving him a wide berth. Smart move on their part since he hated delays. It made him even more pissed off than normal.