Caden
Page 19
Which left Caden, waiting for her in her home. When she left, she realized she’d have to deal with their situation. She’d been thankful when her phone had rung earlier, breaking the intense sexual moment building between Caden and her. Now she was even weaker and didn’t know if she could or wanted to resist the pull of mating.
If she were being honest with herself, maybe she didn’t want to resist. Seeing Crow, alone, his body and spirit destroyed by evil, made her start to realize life could be a lonely deal. Maybe having someone besides herself, to hold her, comfort, and love her wasn’t such a bad thing. Isn’t it what she had always craved? To find a man who would walk beside her in life. Danielle never wanted much in her life, but the more she spent time with Caden, she craved his attention.
Sure, Caden had fucked up, badly. He said horrible things to her, cutting her in such a way she had become a shell of who and what she was. But, now, she had a clearer picture of his early years and why he did what he did. Didn’t make it right, she just understood his actions more.
And he’s trying to make restitution for his actions.
Danielle didn’t much like the person she had become in the last year. She needed to forgive Caden. If for nothing else, then for her own peace of mind and to heal. It would be up to Caden to make her forget the anguish of the last year. Perhaps the past should remain firmly where it is…in the past.
All those walls she painstakingly built against him in the last year began to crack and crumble, falling around her. She allowed the sun in to warm her cold, aching soul. She turned off the mental autopilot she’d engaged and felt human once more.
“You okay?” Keeley asked.
Danielle winced hearing how tired her younger sister sounded. Kalkin was going to lose his mind when he saw how hard Keeley had pushed herself. Danielle knew if she looked in the mirror, she’d see the same exhaustion etched on her own face.
“Deep thoughts,” she replied. Danielle exited the car and said her goodbyes.
The house felt…calm. Even standing on the threshold, the atmosphere had changed. She liked it. She didn’t feel like she walked on eggshells even though it was her own house. Hell, she supposed she did it all her life. Never really finding her place.
Growing up, her mother was less than loving to Keeley or Danielle. Abilities aside, she didn’t think her mother knew what it meant to rear children or give them a nurturing environment. Their mother made them so afraid of their shadows, let alone their gifts. After everything with Keeley and her piece of shit ex-boyfriend, they went on the run. They thought they found their home, and fuck. Didn’t she say the same about this place? She spent so much time looking over her shoulder she never stopped to see the danger right in front of her. Simon. As much as Keeley blamed herself, Danielle did the same, like she could’ve stopped whatever was coming without foresight—an ability Jace seemed to have.
Danielle stood in the middle of her living room, soaking up the residual energy still humming in the air. It was a mix of Caden and their sons. Happiness, pure, angelic, untouched—so innocent in its brightness—wrapped her in its warmth. She breathed deep giving herself an extra second to gather her tattered emotions before dragging her weary body up the stairs to her room. Though the room had been semi-dark, illuminated by the light over the stove, she noticed the boxes by the couch had been moved. Caden’s things added a bit of a masculine quality to her house. Smoothed out the jagged edges of her cold, sterile environment.
After turning out the light, she made her way upstairs. Tomorrow she would take the time to consider the ramifications of Caden adding his things to hers. For now she needed sleep. When she got to the top of the stairs, she hesitated. Would Caden be in the spare room, or would he be in her room, assuming they’d pick up where they left off earlier? A small part of her hoped it would be the latter.
A quick check of Keeley’s room showed it empty. Anticipation swirled in her belly as she pushed open her bedroom door. Her breath hitched. Caden lay naked, sprawled out on her bed with Aiden in his big boy underwear on his right and Nic, also naked, but for his diapered bottom, lying on Caden’s right.
Danielle’s gaze traced the brawny contours of her mate’s form. His broad shoulders gave way to his muscular chest, marked with dark, Celtic tattoos covering most of his upper torso and arms, adding to his appeal. He had a tapered waist, accentuated by the point of his tattooed abs. One of his legs had been extended, showing the definition and sinew lines while the other had been bent at an angle, giving her a perfect view of his thick semi-erect dick resting on his thigh.
The night Nic was conceived, she hadn’t really had a chance to take in all that was Caden Raferty. Now she did, allowing herself a moment to appreciate his body. Even if he’d been awake and watching her, she didn’t care. On the contrary, it turned her on.
Over the last year the need for him had been manageable…sometimes. Right now, it was off the charts and the only thing stopping her from stripping her clothes off, climbing on top of Caden, and impaling herself on his raging erection, had been the fact both boys were in her bed, sleeping with their father.
“Eyes up here, pumpkin,” Caden demanded, his gruff voice sexy as hell. “Fuck me.”
She knew what he saw. Arousal. Bone deep need clawing at her insides, pleading for her to finally give in and take what he offered. Dani mewled then bit the inside of her cheek to squelch the sound, not wanting to wake her boys. Caden climbed out of bed without disrupting the boys and stood before her.
“Why…are you naked?” She placed her hand over her pounding heart.
“We were in wolf form. They switched back in their sleep.” He shrugged. “You look exhausted.” She was, and now thanks to him, horny as hell. “Let me get the boys to their own rooms, then we’ll take care of getting you settled for the night.”
She nodded. “Thank you.”
Caden sprang into action, scooping up Aiden, who gave a content sigh before snuggling into his daddy. He stopped in front of her and crouched down so she could kiss Aiden’s forehead before he took him back to his room. Within seconds he was back, gathering Nic into his arms so they could repeat the process.
Danielle sank onto the bed with a sigh. She kicked off her shoes and wiggled her toes into the soft, fluffy, pale yellow area rug at the base of her bed, enjoying the way it caressed the bottoms of her feet.
“Was it bad?” Caden stepped back into her room, no longer naked.
Danielle frowned. Pity. She flopped back on the bed. Had she been braver, she would have told him to take the offending material off then gone to her knees and... “Yeah.” She closed her eyes. “I don’t really want to talk about it now.” Crow’s pain, his lack of spirit hurt her heart and soul.
“I can respect that. Let me guess. You and Keeley were healing him. You both tired yourselves out.”
“I’m sure in a minute or two, you’re going to hear your twin bellowing when he gets a look at her. She looks worse than me.”
Caden snorted. “I doubt it.”
“What are you doing?” She popped an eye open. The brush of his mind churning had her curious.
“Debating,” he replied.
“On what?” Secretly, she prayed whatever he was contemplating had to do with them fucking each other’s brains out, just to make Crow’s horrid emotional state disappear for a few minutes.
“If I should stick you in the tub or get you right to bed,” he answered. “Although filling your tub might wake up the boys.”
“Yup.” She relaxed into her pillows, enveloped in Caden and her boys’ smell. Tomorrow she’d get either a hot shower or bath and ease the tension from her neck and shoulders. Caden brushed his hand against her legs, and she opened her eyes, startled by his touch. “What are you doing?”
“Getting you ready for bed,” he said, before heading into the bathroom. When he returned, he carried her pajama bottoms and top.
“I’m not one of the boys. I can take care of myself,” she reminded him.
> “It’s my job to take care of you now, pumpkin,” he said.
“Hey.” Danielle pushed his hands away from her as he tried to pull her pants off. “I can do this.”
Caden sighed. He glanced up at the ceiling before meeting her gaze more directly this time. “I’m trying here. I want to help. The quicker you get ready for bed, the quicker you can get to sleep.”
“Not really sure sleep is going to be an easy thing for me tonight,” she admitted.
“I know, baby. You gotta try though. Making yourself weaker isn’t helping anyone, least of all Crow.” He was one hundred percent correct. “Not like I haven’t seen it all anyway, pumpkin.”
“Keep it up, buddy, and it will remain our one and only experience,” she whispered.
“Full moon is coming,” he reminded her, like she wasn’t already aware. “Don’t know about you, but I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off you.”
If he remained in her home, she was almost sure it would be the same for her. “Don’t remind me.” The familiar tingle along her skin reminded her every month. Soon, everything would be too tight. Her clothes. Lungs. Skin. She hadn’t told a soul, but she suspected the monthly discomfort she felt was some sort of mating fervor. It sucked. Full moon after full moon went by without any release. It not only made her horny, it also made her grumpy. In the last year and a half, she’d grown to hate the moon. “I think I can take care of removing my bra and shirt.”
Caden raised his hands and backed off but didn’t leave her room. “If the boys need anything tonight, I’ll take care of it.”
“Okay.” She glared at Caden then her night shirt. Here she was a grown-ass woman, with had two children, feeling shy about removing it and flashing Caden her breasts. Her nipples, growing harder by the second, didn’t help either.
“Want me to turn around?” Caden gave her a teasing smirk.
“No…you’ve seen it all, remember.”
“Never been a breast man. I’m more of an ass man.” He winked. “Your breasts though, they’re spectacular. There were many of nights, when my need for you was at its worst, I’d dream of you. You were spread out on our bed, those hard, pink little nipples demanding my attention. Of course, I’d oblige. I’d suck on those little pleasure points until you cried out and begged me to fuck you. Perfect jerking off material.”
Holy shit, he didn’t just say that?
Danielle gulped, squeezing her legs together to help squelch the throbbing need between her legs. Good thing he had already removed her clothes. Otherwise, he would have surely noticed her wet panties. “I was right here.” She ignored the hitch of her voice. “The whole time.”
“Yeah. I fucked up our relationship, pumpkin. Pounding on your door, drunk off my ass, telling you I wanted to fuck you senseless didn’t really seem like the smartest idea. You were already, rightly so, pissed the hell off at me.”
He spoke the truth. It wouldn’t have gone well for him. She might have ended up doing bodily damage to him. “True.”
“When we’re good, and we’re going to get there, Danielle, I’m going to play out one of my favorite fantasies with you.”
“Tell me,” she prodded, knowing, in her exhausted state, she played with fire.
“I want to come on your tits.” His voice rumbled with the dark edge of need.
Ohmigod…
Danielle fanned her hot cheeks with her hand, trying to keep her composure at the explicit words of her mate. At least now she understood how one could orgasm from words alone. She’d seen it happen on more than one occasion with her sister and Kalkin.
“Fuck,” Caden snarled, adjusting the large bulge in his sleep pants. “And going by your scent, you want it too. Admit it.”
Damn shifters and their freaky overachieving noses. “Ah…um…I-it would be i-irresponsible of me to r-respond to your q-question, considering our situation,” she stuttered, sounding more like her sister than herself. I sound like a complete jackass. Irresponsible to respond? Who even says statements like this?
“Never heard you stutter before, pumpkin. It’s kind of cute,” he teased.
It wasn’t cute. It was annoying…frustrating…a downright pain in the ass. Maybe he needed a distraction, or maybe she just needed to cover up her own embarrassment. Danielle tugged off her shirt then unsnapped her bra. The cool air in the room brushed over her already puckered nipples. She shivered in response. The sensation surprised and aroused her.
Caden hissed.
She pulled the tank top over her head, covering her from way too observant stare before dropping her top to the floor. In the morning she would clean up her room. For now, she needed sleep. Tons of it. Maybe a little distance too. Her emotions were a chaotic mess at the moment. She wouldn’t make any rash decisions, that, come morning, she’d regret.
“Might be a good idea to get your sweet ass under the covers before we both do something stupid,” he grumbled.
She did as he said, pulling the blanket up to her chin. “Caden…ah…what are you doing? Your bed is across the hall, not here.” She tried to ignore the effects of having his body so close to hers. Warmth radiated from his wide chest, making her feel safe and secure. I could get used to this.
“I’m going to stay with you till you fall asleep, then I’ll go back to my room and bed.”
“I don’t mind being alone,” she confessed. A little too easy, if she were being honest with herself.
He sighed. “I mind.”
“Aren’t you on duty tomorrow?”
He nodded.
“Don’t come bitching to me if you don’t get any sleep. I warned you.”
“Noted. Now lay your head down, get comfortable and allow me to provide you some comfort.” He didn’t wait for her to comply. Instead, he placed his hand on her shoulder, pushing her down onto the bed.
Silence filled the room. It’d be hours, even though fatigue clawed at her, before she’d sleep. The jumbled up ball of emotional baggage from Crow clung to her like an oil slick to a fowl’s feathers. Danielle listened to Caden’s slow deep breaths. She didn’t think he was sleep. Both of them, it would seem, were worked up, if the erection pressed to the cleft of her ass was any indication.
“You’re so fucking stubborn.” He growled, flipping her around to face him. His massive arms wrapped around her, holding her in place. “Don’t be afraid to talk to me about Crow and what you’re dealing with. Bottling it up doesn’t do anyone any good. Remember, I’m both Beta and Deputy Sheriff. I’ve seen shit, pumpkin, it’d make your stomach roll. None of us, not even the mighty Kalkin Raferty, are immune to how depraved man and shifter can be to each other.” Caden rubbed her back, trying, she realized, to comfort her. “I respect you don’t want to talk about it, I might not agree with it, but I got to respect it. At some point though, you gotta let what’s bubbling up inside of you out. It’s not healthy.”
She whimpered, struggling to keep the floodgates closed. “I feel so raw…like an open wound, throbbing in pain.” Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision. She blinked, and the tears rolled down her cheeks. “How can someone be so cruel and heartless to a defenseless child? First Aiden…now Crow. Neither of them could fight back. Stop the cruelty inflicted on them.” Dani shook her head in disbelief. “Aiden was young, hopefully, he won’t have memories of the abuse he suffered at the hands of the one person who was supposed to protect him. I can’t say the same for Crow. He’ll bear those scars for the rest of his life.”
“Let it out, baby,” Caden whispered, pulling her into his embrace.
Danielle dug her fingernails into his bare chest, holding on to him as the last year of fear, anger, sadness, and hate was released through her tears. Caden never said a word, he simply continued to rub her back. He held her close until she’d completely worn herself out and slipped into the sleep of the dead.
Chapter Eleven
The bed shifted, waking Danielle. She squinted at the clock. Five-fifteen. The conversation from the night befor
e filtered through her mind. Helping Crow had taken a bit more of her than she’d thought it had. The bone-deep exhaustion had loosened her lips as well. She hadn’t meant to drop everything at Caden’s feet. She also hadn’t meant to lean on him for support. The more she did it, the more both of them would come to expect it. She needed to hold onto the small bit of her crumbling control and if she kept allowing him to just insert himself, she’d lose it.
Stop dwelling and start living! If she continued to live in the past and in all of the hurt she’d let consume her, she’d never heal. Danielle opened her eyes. The first rays of sunlight filtered into her room under the curtain. She’d have to get up soon. The boys were early risers. Again, she was to blame. Several nights she didn’t sleep a wink and her constant pacing woke Aiden then Nicolas. She let out a soft sigh.
“Hey,” Caden whispered, gathering her into his embrace. The hard length of his erection pressed to her ass. Heat filled her. She chided herself for being such a wanton woman. She shouldn’t get all hot and bothered whenever he touched her. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s okay. I should be up anyway.” She went to sit up, but he didn’t budge.
“Let me hold you a little longer.” He nuzzled her neck. “Did you sleep good?”
Though it’d been late when they’d finally fallen into bed, she’d purged the vile negativity from her soul—which also meant she’d cried like a baby—on Caden. A bare-chested Caden. She groaned, hiding her face in her pillow. In a moment of weakness, she’d done the one thing she swore she’d never do. Lean on him. “I don’t know.” If she could remember past the point of closing her eyes, she could give him an honest answer. “I don’t think I dreamed last night.”
“A good thing, I assume?”
“Caden, I—”
“Don’t do it.” This time, he’d been closer to her. “You’re allowed to fall apart. No one will think badly of you. I won’t think badly of you.”