by Tl Reeve
“Unfortunately, yes,” Rapier admitted. “Brothers can be and are often assholes to each other.”
“I always wanted a brother, but since I don’t know who my parents are, it’s impossible.” Nico’s tone held a wistful longing to it.
Caden placed a comforting hand on the young boy’s thin shoulders. “Nothing is impossible, kid.” Caden glanced at Everett. “Sometimes the ties of friendship can be thicker and stronger than those who simply share the same DNA.”
Guilt ate at him. As Kalkin’s Beta, he should’ve kept more of an eye out for the pack’s young, and he hadn’t. Somewhere along the lines of his self-deprecation and loathing, he had expected Mrs. Martin to handle it. “You got anyone you consider your best bud? Someone you’d do just about anything for and risk everything for.”
“Bodhi,” Nico answered without hesitation.
“He’s a good egg,” Everett said. Caden wondered how the other man knew of his nephew.
“He’s a Raferty,” Nico stated.
“Kid—”
“Bodhi knows and has narrowed it down to two candidates,” Nico replied, surprising the hell out of him.
Guess our secret isn’t such a big secret after all.
“Listen, kid,” Rapier interjected. “How about we get off the subject of illegitimate Raferty offspring and tell Caden the reason you came to see me. Then he can update me, and we can all move on with our day.”
“Yeah, okay,” Nico said. “You know me, Caden, I’ve always got my ear to the ground, listening and paying attention to the shit going in and on around town. People tend to overlook a lost boy orphan with no home and family. It’s cool though because they tend to talk when they should keep their mouths shut.”
“What’d you hear?” Caden prodded.
“It seems someone who knows the Rafertys, has a past with them and the pack—not very good history either—is involved in this,” Nico claimed.
Rapier nudged Nico. “Stop with the dramatics. Give him the fucking information.”
“Well if you know, why the hell don’t you just tell me?” Caden muttered.
Rapier shook his head, glanced up at the sky for a moment before giving Caden his full attention. “I stopped him the moment he dropped her name.”
Her name?
Rafertys didn’t normally fuck with women. Okay, they did, but they were normally deranged psychopaths like Tiffany, Hazel or hell, let it not be the other one. He was just getting control of his life. Getting back into his children’s life. His mate was just starting to trust him, possibly love him. If she knew about this, about what the bitch had done to him, and the possible repercussions from that night, he’d lose everything.
“Marjorie.” Caden whispered the name he’d refused to say in over twenty years…fuck, almost thirty years.
Everett swore, stepping into Caden’s personal space.
“Fuck me.” Caden’s vision went wonky for a second before he broke out into a cold sweat. If Nico mentioned her name, he’d fucking throw up. He could feel the bile churning in his stomach as long-repressed memories of the night surfaced.
He bent over, placing his hands on his thighs, desperately dragging air into his lungs. Not good. So not good. Kalkin would lose his goddamned mind if he passed out. It’d also make him appear weak, leaving him to explain why he fainted. Buzzing noise filled his ears, and everything sounded like he was in a tunnel.
Focus. He had to gain control of his emotions. Otherwise, Danielle would sense it and attempt to reach out to him again. He couldn’t have her in his head. He didn’t want her to see or feel what he was experiencing at the moment. He had to calm the fuck down. Shifters didn’t normally suffer heart attacks, but he swore his heart was about to explode out of his chest.
Fucking focus and get your shit together.
“What the hell is his problem?” Rapier demanded.
At least Rapier didn’t sound far away anymore.
“Nothin’.” Everett placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Everett was the only other person who knew what had happened to Caden all those years ago. It had been another reason it hurt so much to see Everett switch allegiances to the Quincy pack. Caden had worried his best friend would reveal his deepest, darkest sins to Raymond and it would be used against his pack and family. The guilt and the insecurities were something he carried around daily. “Want me to get Kal?”
Fuck, no. His twin already had a full plate and didn’t need to deal with Caden’s physical and emotional issues. “No.”
“Caden—”
“I’m fine, Everett, I’m fine.” Caden shrugged off the other man’s hand and slowly righted himself, making sure to he held his emotions in check. “Finish relaying your information, Nico.”
Poor kid was confused as hell, his gaze darting to the three big men standing around him.
“Get to the important details,” Rapier suggested.
“Quincy brought, what he is calling, an old adversary back. Said her name is Marjorie and she’s got some sort of beef with the Rafertys. Something about having her kid taken away from her.”
That was an understatement.
“Royce?” Rapier said.
Caden snorted. Funny how the past always liked to fuck him up the ass at the most inconvenient times. It wasn’t just Royce who Marjorie lost, but only two people other than himself knew about her. One of them was standing next to him, and the other had walked away in a fit of anger minutes ago.
Years ago, Kalkin stepped in like he always does, covering Caden’s ass. His twin took the infant girl promising Caden no matter what, she’d be taken care of. No one could know where she went, and no one could ever search her out. Marjorie got her revenge though, in the worst way possible. She went after and destroyed the oldest Raferty—Mackenzie, dividing a family and leaving Royce to be raised by his uncles. Until last year, they had all assumed Mackenzie was dead. But Mackenzie had come back, a changed man, bringing the Dryer Pride with him.
The oldest Raferty had approached him several times to talk. Every time, Caden had found a reason or excuse to not have a conversation with his oldest sibling. Mackenzie let it go. Caden suspected at some point they’d need to talk, clear the air between them, but now wasn’t the time. Too much shit was going on, and he didn’t have the wherewithal to deal with the sensitive matter.
He’d also debated on telling his mate. He’d told her, fuck, he’d promised her he’d always be honest with her, and he had already broken that promise to her. A lie of omission was still a lie.
“Rumor has it, Marjorie orchestrated the bombing of the police station. Tiffany is a secondary player in this. She’s been doing her own shit, trying to get Aiden back. Tiffany’s name is only being associated with the bombing to divert attention away from you guys knowing about this new chick,” Nico reported.
Caden’s glared at Everett. “Did you know?”
Caden didn’t miss the flash of pain in Everett’s green eyes. “Fuck, no, I didn’t know and if I had, I would have broken my cover to get a message to you or your brother.”
“You’re Quincy’s Beta,” Caden accused.
“Right, and you’re Kal’s, yet you didn’t have a fucking clue I was his snitch.”
Caden ignored the pain caused by Everett’s words. Kalkin had kept that from him, and Caden was sure his brother had his reasons, good or bad. “We’re not talking about my brother right now.”
“Raymond Quincy and your brother are a lot alike. They compartmentalize everything and are the only one aware of the entire picture. It sucks being the Beta in those instances,” Everett stated, ignoring Caden’s statement.
Ain’t that the truth.
Caden always suspected Kalkin had his hands in more than he’d ever let on. He never pushed his twin because it worked for them until it no longer did. Caden wondered if Rapier had any idea what he would be getting himself into if he took over as Co-Alpha with his brother. Caden warned him, not really giving a shit if he got blowbac
k from Kalkin. He glanced at Rapier. “Maybe he’s turning over a new leaf with being mated and having pups and all, I don’t know. But, you might want to think long and hard about my brother’s offer to be Co-Alpha. It’s possible he won’t trust you any more than he trusts me. He’ll keep shit from you. It’s his way.”
Everett gave a low whistle. “No fucking way does Kalkin Raferty give up complete control of his pack. No fucking way, no fucking how. I wouldn’t be surprised if that cagey motherfucker wasn’t already aware that bitch was back in town and causing problems.”
Caden shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck where he felt the beginnings of a headache. “You’re right, he is cagey, but never with this. He’d have told me.”
“Do you have proof of what you’re telling us, kid, or is it only hearsay?” Everett asked.
“Just conversation. When they knocked down the old trailer park, Raymond had them move to a new location. I’m working on finding it. I’m hoping for a chance to do some B&E and get some evidence,” Nico confessed.
Nothing like turning a fifteen-year-old boy into a hardened criminal. They should all be proud of themselves. “You can’t risk getting caught, Nico. Raymond won’t hesitate to dish out immediate justice to you. He won’t give a shit you’re some snot-nosed kid or a member of the Raferty Pack. It’ll just make his punishment even sweeter, in his twisted mind.”
“I’m smart,” Nico boasted. “I cover my tracks and know how to stay in the shadows.”
Yet another thing he’d have to talk to Kalkin about. They were risking this young man’s life, along with encouraging him to commit crimes. It might behoove them to get him into a cadet training or something, so when he became of age, he could be a deputy. If Nico so desired.
“You’re going to report directly to me going forward. I’m going to need updates, twice a day. I don’t hear from you at seven a.m. and seven p.m., I’m going to come find you, blowing your cover. Am I clear?”
Nico’s gaze dropped to the ground, and he shuffled his feet, kicking up some stones and dust.
“It’s a simple yes or no answer.”
Nico sighed. “Yeah, I got you.”
Somehow Caden had found the strength to keep his shit together. He had to get through updating Rapier on the arson case, then get the file to the DA’s office and somehow carve out time to talk to his brother about their ‘new’ problem.
“Go,” Caden shooed Nico. “You’ve got your orders.”
Nico flashed a crooked grin before taking off, disappearing around one of the buildings.
Caden tapped the file. “Obviously, without physical proof, Nico’s information changes very little. The DA can start the process, and we’ll update them as we gather proof.”
“Agreed,” Rapier replied, before walking away.
“Does she know?” Surprisingly, none of the other deputies approached them.
“No, she doesn’t,” Caden answered.
“You should tell her. She has a right to know.” For a moment it felt like twenty years hadn’t passed and Everett was again his best friend.
Caden let a long, painful sigh out. “Yeah, she does. I just don’t know if I can stand hurting her more than I already have.”
“Hurting her?” Everett tsked. “How exactly are you hurting her, Caden? You didn’t do this to her. This was done to you, and you’re the one bearing all the pain and guilt.”
“You don’t understand—”
“I do understand. Thirty years ago, Marjorie forced herself on you during the full moon. The bitch walked away with a part of you, leaving you with a shit-ton of guilt and remorse over something you had no control over. I’m not even going to touch on what she did to Mackenzie or what the daily reminder of seeing Royce did to you.” Everett kept his voice low, so no one could hear them. “It’s why you claimed Aiden so quickly, isn’t it? You can give him what you were never able to give to your own kid.”
“I’m not having this conversation with you,” Caden snarled.
“Right, because it’s easier to pretend shit never happened or avoid calling it what it was in the first place. You talk about Kalkin compartmentalizing. You’re no fucking different, except you do it with your emotions,” Everett scoffed. “You can’t say it, but I can. That bitch raped you, Caden. You need to come to terms with it; otherwise, it’ll continue to haunt and poison your entire life.”
Rape? Caden jerked in disbelief.
Men weren’t raped, women were, hence why he never referred to what had happened to him as such. Caden never used the term, and when any of the cases that came through the department dealt with rape, he avoided them like the plague. Thankfully, Kalkin understood what happened to him and always assigned cases dealing with sexual assault to other deputies. Caden turned and strode back to City Hall. Everett snagged his arm, stopping his progress.
“Caden. You need to—”
“I don’t need to do jack shit.” Caden jerked his arm out of his hold and stormed up the stairs, into the coolness of the building. Can this day get any shittier?
Chapter Fifteen
Caden stared at the small brown bag on the seat beside him, unsure why he picked it up or if he’d ever use it. He’d been on his way home from the DA’s office when the urge hit him hard. The only explanation he could come up with had been Marjorie. Hearing her name after all those years—knowing she was helping Tiffany knocked him for a loop. The queasy tremble in his stomach hadn’t eased a bit, and if anything, had only gotten worse when he started for home. He’d have to explain everything to Danielle.
If he kept her out once more or blamed her for things she’d never done, there’d be no coming back from it. Yet, he couldn’t find the words. How did he tell his mate he’d been sexually molested by a woman who also happened to be Royce’s biological mother? The whole situation sounded like a bad daytime soap opera. Nevertheless, it was the truth. At sixteen, the same age as poor Emmitt when Tiffany found him, Caden went for his first run, breaking Mr. and Mrs. Martin’s rules. Later, he’d explain he’d followed after Mackenzie, hoping to experience just an ounce of pack bond on a full moon. Instead, a female rushed him.
Her scent hit him first, enticing him with its sweet, musky aroma. From the moment the she-wolf faced him, naked, things turned decidedly dark. He lost his ability to say no. He lost his ability to control any aspect of his life. The worst part? He climaxed—several times before it was over. So, it had to mean he liked it, right? It meant some part of him enjoyed the experience. Yet, a sickening sludge coated him. While she slept curled up next to him on the desert plain, he raced home. A couple of times along the way he’d vomited. He cried too. He didn’t say a word when Mr. Martin met him at the door, his arms crossed, and his jaw set in a stern line. Nothing he said would change the fact he’d known better and still left the house. He was responsible for what happened to him. Caden pushed past Mr. Martin, yearning for some sense of security he’d always felt once inside their home. It didn’t come. He hurried to the bathroom, pulling off what remained of his clothes, then jumped in the shower.
He didn’t know how long he sat in the tub scrubbing every inch of his body. Every time he bled, the wounds would close, and he’d begin again. Finally, Kalkin appeared in front of him. He pulled Caden from the tub. His twin felt every bit of Caden’s disgust. His repulsion. In the dark, using the link they’d built while in the womb, he whispered every detail. Every act. Spilled his guts about how scared he’d been. How he didn’t feel like a man or a hero or anything like he should. Caden didn’t know which part of his life sucked more, the action or what followed. He also hadn’t expected it all to come back to bite him in the ass. Because, it had. For the last year, he’d used his repressed memories to fuel his anger and feelings of being used. He used his horrible experience of being violated to push Danielle away.
Almost thirty years later, the emotional turmoil he suppressed bubbled back up to the surface, threating once more to steal everything he could have hoped for in his fucked-u
p life. He snatched the bag off the seat as he got out. Hopefully, Keeley and Danielle were still helping Charisma and Penelope settle in with their temporary housing arrangement at the apartment Charisma’s father had secured for them. Caden could use the extra bit of time to settle his riotous emotions and figure out the best way to tell Danielle just how mentally fucked he really was.
After the scene he caused in the middle of town, there’d be no way he couldn’t. People would talk. Danielle and Keeley would hear the rumors of Caden freaking out in front of the burned out remains of the sheriff’s department. She’d believe it was because of all the damage and stress of the situation, but it would be a lie, and they—he couldn’t lie anymore. He also didn’t think he had a great enough hold of his shields to keep her from feeling everything he did. However, nothing he thought of to say quite capsulated the tragic events of his life, and he sure as fuck didn’t want it to sound like an excuse.
He had none.
Caden stepped into the house. The soft hum of the HVAC system pumping cool air into the two-story house greeted him. The scent of his mate clung to the air, easing some of the weariness from his muscles. He sagged then went on high alert when he heard a noise in the kitchen. No one should be in Danielle’s house. He eased toward the wall, making sure his steps were light enough to not alert whoever was in there of his presence. His heart pounded against his ribs as he palmed the hilt of his 9mm gun. Was Marjorie or worse, Tiffany, stupid enough to break into Danielle’s home?
Glancing around the wall, Caden’s breath hitched. Danielle stood in front of the refrigerator, peering inside, giving him an excellent view of her heart-shaped ass. His gaze lingered on her, tracing her amazing curves, envisioning all the things he wanted to do to her, but hadn’t felt worthy of uttering those words. His mouth watered, and his cock twitched, thickening behind the fly of his pants. He reached down to adjust himself and bit back a groan of pleasure. Fuck, he should be pissed at himself after everything he’d been forced to relive to even think about screwing his mate, yet the closer he got to her, the more he needed her, even if it meant banishing the memories away for now.