by Lyn Forester
“You’re really taking this one-of-us thing to heart.” Felix cracks his knuckles. “I don’t know if I like you more comfortable around us.”
“Isn’t one busted lip enough?” comes Nikola’s cool reply.
Felix yanks the Nikola’s school band off his wrist and flings it at the other man. “See if I cover for you again.”
Nikola catches it easily. “You’re the one who insisted on wearing it in the first place. Connor did volunteer to wear both mine and Caitlyn’s.”
I step up to Felix, ready to disrupt a fight. “How were things while we were gone?”
“Boring.” When he turns to face me, amusement fills his face instead of anger. “I’m still not one hundred percent on this new arrangement.”
No, but he’s getting there faster than I expected him to. I pat his shoulder in sympathy before slipping past him into the theater. Connor sits in the center of the couch positioned directly in front of the large holo-screen. An array of fruits, veggies, and protein shakes wait on the table in front of him.
He glances up, glasses flashing in the dim light, and offers me a soft smile. “We weren’t sure if you ate dinner, so we raided the snack room before coming over.”
My stomach growls when I spot the small tray of strawberries. “Thank you, that was considerate.”
“Yes, thank you.” Nikola settles on Connor’s left, grabbing a protein shake along the way. “The rice we had earlier wore off quickly.”
“Rice,” Felix hisses with a tone of envy. “What color? And what kind of sauce? Or was it stuffed? Or both?”
“I’m not here to indulge your food porn.” Nikola settles back into the corner and sips on his protein shake.
Felix spins toward me, his bottom lip quivering and eyes wide.
Smiling, I sit on Connor’s other side and accept the school band he offers, slipping it over my wrist. “It was purple rice, with a berry vinegar glaze.”
Felix groans and wedges himself in beside me on the sofa, his side pressed to mine from thigh to shoulder. “Tell me more.”
There wasn’t much more to it, but I try. “It was shaped like an upside-down cone on a white, rectangular plate.”
He closes his eyes in silent ecstasy. “Go on.”
“It was warm?”
Felix groans in frustration. “Smell, Sprinkles, what did it smell like?”
“I feel slightly uncomfortable being in the same room while this is happening,” Nikola murmurs.
“Me, too,” Connor agrees.
Blindly, Felix reaches out and finds my hand. “Don’t leave me hanging here, Sprinkles. That’s just bad form.”
I lick my lips, trying to remember. “Tart? But also sweet.” I rack my memory. “And it had a nice mouthfeel. Firm without being crunchy.”
Felix’s head snaps toward me, his eyes opening. “What did you just say?”
My brows pinch. “Firm but not crunchy?”
He shakes his head. “No, before that.”
“Tart and sweet?”
“I think he’s talking about the mouthfeel comment,” Nikola supplies, and Connor chokes back a laugh.
“What?” Bewildered, I glance between them. “Is that bad? It felt nice to chew.”
Felix pats my hand. “We’re going to work on your descriptive words, but that was okay for your first attempt.”
I snatch my hand back and shove him against the arm of the couch. “That was my last attempt, you ass.”
“Oh, that’s a good descriptor,” he laughs, not even fighting my abuse. “Try another.”
I shove him again. “Deadstream.”
He whips around. “Hey, I’ve never failed to get off the starting line.”
Connor snickers. “That’s not what I heard.”
Felix’s gaze shoots over my head. “Bro, no.”
Kicking off my shoes, I turn to face Connor, one leg up on the couch. “Only heard? You didn’t see?”
Felix shifts behind me, his shoes thudding to the carpet. Shoving one leg between me and the back of the couch, he pulls me into the hollow between his knees. “Bro didn’t jump on the disc-bike as fast as I did.”
The new position makes more room on the couch, and I tuck my feet in next to Connor’s thigh.
“I didn’t fail as many times as you, either,” Connor scoffs.
Felix points over my shoulder at him. “Hearsay.”
“Dec-say.” Connor grabs the carton of strawberries and passes them to me before settling back on the couch. “Felix and Dec got their hands on a pair of broken disc-bikes and decided they could fix them. There was no way I was getting on one of those. I waited until I could buy one that didn’t have a fifty percent chance of exploding under my ass.“
“Smart,” Nikola agrees. “Especially since they probably had no idea what they were doing.”
“We watched videos and got them running.” Felix reaches around me to grab a strawberry. “Well, mostly running.”
I dig an elbow into his stomach. “You could have killed yourself messing with the converter coils.”
“Our parents refused to buy us bikes. What else were we supposed to do?”
“Be sensible like Connor and wait until you could afford one yourself.” I nudge my foot against Connor’s leg. “Your level-headedness is so appealing.”
Felix stiffens. “Hey, I can be level-headed.”
“No, you can’t,” Connor, Nikola, and I say in unison.
Felix steals another strawberry and settles back with a grumble. “I could if I wanted to.”
Connor pulls my legs across his lap. “Tell us what happened on your excursion.”
The new position puts my feet on Nikola’s thigh, but when I move to pull back, his palm covers the top of one foot, holding it in place.
Trying not to be overwhelmed by so much contact all at once, I start at the end, when Declan joined us.
Felix grills me about Declan’s appearance, while Connor asks me to repeat the part about the poison. There’s a lot to tell, and I reiterate the information as many times as the twins need me to, with Nikola throwing in details where I hesitate.
When they exhaust themselves over the minutiae, I tell them about what happened at TPR Financial. Nikola, quieter through the first half of the conversation, jumps back in full force, rehashing what we already discussed at The Muse.
Connor and Felix seem equally disturbed by the new information and the possible ramifications. When we finish, our small group falls silent, each lost in our own thoughts.
Returning to APA, while comforting, distances us from what’s happening, making the very real danger feel more like wild speculation. It’s difficult to feel like we can accomplish anything while trapped within this glass bubble. Its very design is to offer separation and a calming environment for its students to immerse themselves in studies, free from the troubles of the real world.
We just saw Declan, and yet it feels like two different worlds. We sit in the theater, snacking on health food, while the person who poisoned House Arrington could very well be plotting to finish the job.
“We should get to work on those surveillance devices,” Connor says at last, looking at Nikola. “I wish we could help more with that, but hacking isn’t in my skill set.”
“I’d like to learn,” Felix announces around a mouthful of strawberries. “Teach me the ways, wise teacher.”
Nikola sits up straighter, his eyes narrowed. “You think it’s that easy?”
“Depends on how skilled you are at teaching,” Felix jabs back.
“You’ll have to actually pay full attention,” Nikola warns.
“I’ll be shocked if it requires my full attention,” Felix scoffs.
Nikola frowns. “This kind of stuff can get you thrown in jail if you’re sloppy.”
“If I fail, that’s not your concern.” Felix hugs me closer, his arms tight bands under my breasts. “One less competition between you and Sprinkles, then, huh?”
“Wait, I’m confused.” Nikola t
ilts his head. “Are you trying to convince me to teach you poorly?”
Felix pauses for a beat. “If you’re responsible for me going to jail, Caitlyn will dump you.”
“I’m not seeing any benefit in teaching you how to hack.” Nikola settles back against the arm of the couch. “I’m also now questioning your intelligence.”
“Me, too,” I mutter, wiggling my way out of Felix’s hold. I swing my feet to the floor and pull my shoes back on. “I’d rather none of us go to jail. But two hands working on this would be better.”
“We only have one folding-port,” Nikola points out. “So only one person can work on this at a time, anyway.”
“Which leaves us completely reliant on you.” Connor grabs the protein shakes and stacks them alongside the purple carrots. “We need to even out the workload.”
Nikola stands and stretches, his white button-up shirt riding up to expose his new belt and a muscular band of stomach. “You can watch vid-streams once I locate them.”
“Nice belt,” Felix comments, and I glance over to find his appreciative eyes on Nikola, too. “You guys went shopping?”
“Don’t worry, we got you stuff, too.” Nikola’s arms drop back to his sides, and I give him a narrow-eyed stare.
Is he trying to seduce Felix, too, or is it a byproduct of trying to gain my attention? My focus shifts back to Felix. Why is he being seduced?
Suddenly, I understand Declan’s jealousy, but the source confuses me. Do I not like the idea of Felix wanting to go to bed with Nikola? Do I not like the idea of Nikola putting his efforts of seduction toward someone other than me? Am I jealous on Declan’s behalf, seeing his lover pulled toward someone else?
I push to my feet, overwhelmed by the confusing thoughts bouncing around in my head on top of everything else. How can I let this kind of thing distract me when my focus should be on figuring out how to keep Declan safe?
“Caitlyn?” Connor catches my wrist, pulling my attention to him. “What are you thinking right now?”
My eyes bounce from him to Nikola to Felix, then back to Connor, and embarrassed heat floods my cheeks. “Nothing I want to say out loud.”
“Hey.” With gentle pressure, Connor pulls me down to sit on the edge of the table in front of him. “We agreed not to internalize stuff anymore, didn’t we?”
I can’t keep my eyes from flickering to Nikola and Felix again before I focus back on Connor. “Can we talk about it alone?”
Nikola slips back into his abandoned place on the couch. “I feel like this involves me, so I would like to stay.”
“Me, too.” Eyes wide, Felix wedges himself back against the arm of the couch, his knees drawn up to his chest.
I lick my lips. “If we talk about this, I don’t want to be the only one. We all talk about it.”
“Define it.” Felix makes air quotes. “I’m not sure what we’re agreeing to talk about.”
“That’s because you’re dense,” Nikola murmurs. “I’ve always been willing to tell you anything, Caitlyn. You simply need to ask.”
I peek at him from the corner of my eye. “Are you trying to seduce Felix?”
“He’s currently the most resistant to my presence here.” Nikola shifts closer to Connor, putting himself in my line of sight. “If he wants me to be here, that makes things easier.”
My fingers twitch. “So, you plan on bedding him?”
Felix raises his hand. “Hey, do I get a vote in this?”
We both ignore him, and Nikola leans forward, his hand out but not daring enough to take mine right now. “I’m not opposed to sex with other men, and if that’s what you want, it doesn’t bother me, but my preference would be to have you there.”
Felix waves his hand in the air. “I also vote for Caitlyn to be there. But let’s replace Nikola with Declan.”
My focus cuts to him. “So, you’re against sleeping with Nikola?”
Chagrined, he rubs the back of his neck. “Well, no, not exactly. I mean, he’s attractive. I can understand why you keep looking at him.”
“Oh, god.” I drop my head in my hands, then peer up at Connor. “And you?”
He pulls one hand away from my face and presses his lips to my knuckles. “I’m only interested in you.”
“Smooth, bro.” Felix rises to his knees and grabs my other hand. “You’re the only one I want to kiss, Sprinkles. Does that make a difference?”
Surprised, I rear back. “What?”
“Kissing.” He lifts my hand in a mirror of his brother, his heated lips brushing over my knuckles. “Only with you.”
“But you and Dec—”
“That’s just sex. Mutual stress relief.” His lips move on to my wrist. “Kissing is intimate. I only want to do that with you.”
Connor shakes his head at his brother, while the blank mask returns to Nikola’s face, hiding his reaction, though he can’t be surprised. He warned me once that this might be the case between Felix and Declan, but it still comes as a shock.
I shoot to my feet, then have nowhere to go, trapped by Connor’s legs on either side of mine. “Sex is intimate!”
Bewildered, Felix gazes up at me. “You want me to stop sleeping with Declan when he comes back?”
“No! But—” I cut off, unprepared for this turn of conversation and not sure how to proceed.
My spike of jealousy takes a back burner to this overload of information. Does Declan think the same thing about Felix? That sex is just a way to relieve stress? Somehow, I can’t see that being the case with him. He seems to genuinely care about Felix, and not in the same way he cares for Connor.
I spin, suddenly feeling trapped by the men in the room, and step up onto the table as my only means of escape. “I need to— I’m going back to my room. It’s been a long day.”
Felix climbs to his feet. “But what about the surveillance?”
I wave it away, striding for the door. “You can work on it with Nikola.”
“Does that mean it’s okay for me to hang out with Nikola?” Felix calls after me. “We won’t have sex, I promise!”
Embarrassed all over again, I spin back around. “Shut up!”
Felix turns a glare toward Nikola. “This is your fault.”
He glares back. “No, your cavalier attitude about sex is at fault.”
“If you weren’t trying to seduce me, this wouldn’t be an issue.”
“If you hadn’t put your hands on me to begin with, this never would have come up.”
“Caitlyn got turned on when I did that.” Felix’s gaze swings back to me. “This is partly your fault.”
“Yeah, I get that. Believe me, I do.” My attention shifts to Connor, quiet through all of this. “Thank you for making this easier.”
He smiles. “I’m still willing to be the only one in your life.”
“Traitor!” Felix leaps on his brother, and they disappear behind the back of the couch.
Nikola walks around to the other side and strides toward me. “I’ll walk you back to the dorm.”
I back away, not ready to be alone with him again after this conversation. “There’s no need.”
“I’m going back regardless.” He peers over his shoulder to where the twins wrestle. “I don’t want to be here for that conversation.”
I turn toward the exit. “Do what you will. I can’t stop you.”
His quiet response follows me. “If only that were the case.”
Shadows and Light
Nikola stays silent on the walk through the Entertainment Hall and down the outside stairs. He looks entirely too calm, which makes me fidgety.
Where are his words of wisdom now? He’d been the first to try to point out the possible imbalance of Felix and Declan’s relationship. Shouldn’t he be celebrating being proven right? Seeing my foundation rocked where Felix is concerned yet again, shouldn’t he be making a move now to assert his place at my side?
We reach the path that circles toward the dorms. On the grass in the center, students lounge
in their casual school-issued uniforms, picnic baskets dotting the center of their small clusters as they enjoy the light from the setting suns. Tomorrow, we return to classes as usual, with projects to work on and debates to tackle.
How can we focus on such mundane activities when it feels like the world is cracking apart?
When I peek at Nikola from the corner of my eye, he glances down at me. “Question?”
“Why are you being so quiet?” I demand.
One black brow arches. “I thought you wanted to be left to your thoughts?”
“You have an opinion.” Suddenly feeling claustrophobic, I fuss with the goggle strap around my throat. “Let me hear it.”
His hand taps lightly against his thigh. “Anything I say now will negatively impact your opinion of me, so I choose to stay silent.”
“Nikola—”
“As your peer”—he stresses the word to make the distinction clear—“I am allowed to hold my opinion. If you would like to force it as my councilor, you know where to find the contract.”
Unreasonably angered by the comment, my fingers open and close into fists.
His black eyes drop to take in the tension spiking through my body. “You can’t have it both ways, Caitlyn. Either I’m your equal here and free to pursue my own path, or I’m your Secretary, at which point I want it legally registered with your signature.”
“You’re being pushy,” I seethe through clenched teeth. “I don’t like it.”
He closes the distance between us. “You seemed to like it at The Muse.”
I twitch at the reminder, blood rushing to my cheeks. He’s not supposed to bring that up.
His gaze shifts past me. “Besides, anything I say is pure conjecture. You need to go to the source.”
Startled, I twist to peer back the way we came, only just then registering the running footsteps behind us.
Felix jogs up, shoves his way between me and Nikola, and grabs my hand. “Sprinkles.” He pauses for a moment, then takes a deep breath. “Caitlyn. Can we talk?”
I didn’t expect to see Felix again until much later in the day, if at all. His argument with Connor ended much faster than usual.
“Until later.” Without waiting to hear my response, Nikola waves and strides off.