“If I remember correctly, you rode. I drove.” His mouth found mine, one hand cradling my face as the other wrapped around my waist. He sucked at my bottom lip before slipping in to lick along my teeth. I stroked my tongue under the bottom of his until he accepted the invitation to dance, wrapping around mine as our lips shifted and molded against each other.
The lurch of the car pulling into traffic pulled me out of our embrace. I maneuvered to the seat next to Hudson and latched my belt. A part of me was surprised that he hadn’t brought up moving in again or that he wasn’t tense waiting for my answer. Now that my night was free, I could go ahead and tell him over dinner. Or screw dinner and tell him in the car. But I’d wanted the moment to be right. “So…how was your day?”
He put his arm around my shoulder, holding me as close as safety would allow. His fingers played with the loose tendrils of hair at my neck. “You were there for the only part of today that mattered. And that part was fantastic.”
He took my hand in his, caressing it, and the way he moved his fingers across my skin lit my whole body on fire. “How about your day?”
“Ditto.” I’d been eager to share the details of what I was working on in the club. But now that I was with him, business could wait. Now my only interest was us. Us together. Us in love. “Though, I do have a surprise for you.”
His lips curled into a devilish grin. “Are you not wearing underwear?” His hand slid between my thighs as if he was determined to discover the answer for himself.
I smacked his hand away even though I burned to have his fingers go further, to rub against my clit in that expert way of his. We’d get there soon enough. I had time to tease. We had all night now that my meeting had been canceled. “I’m wearing underwear, you perv. If you’d wanted me to go without, you shouldn’t have stocked me with panties.”
“The panties were for when you were in the company of others. And right now we’re alone.”
I nodded toward the direction of the front seat, knowing full well that Jordan couldn’t see or hear us behind the dark divider. “Somewhat.”
“Somewhat enough.” He let go of my hand and placed it high on my thigh instead. The gleam in his eyes said he was planning to ravage me right there in the back of his limo on the way to dinner. Again. “Tell me your surprise.”
“I spent most of my day preparing for my meeting with Aaron Trent. And I just found out he canceled.”
“He canceled?” Hudson was instantly furious. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts. “Let me call him. If he can’t bother to show up tonight then he doesn’t need to bother working on my other accounts with him.”
I put my hand over his, stilling his phone search. “He must have had a good reason to cancel. I’ll call him in the morning. It’s not a biggie. I had a long day anyway and I’m happy to postpone.”
“Then I’ll call to reschedule.”
“No, let me. Please.” I hadn’t realized how important this was to me until right then. Yes, I’d landed the connection because of Hudson and I’d likely get a good deal because of him as well. But I needed a chance to prove what I could do. “I’d like to handle this on my own.”
Hudson sighed, pocketing his phone. “If that’s what you want. But tell me if he doesn’t give you the respect you deserve.”
“Because my rich, powerful boyfriend stepping in to fight my battles will earn his esteem.”
“Isn’t that what boyfriends are supposed to do?”
“Um, not my boyfriend.” Leaning into the crook of his arm, I traced my finger along the curve of his jaw. “I’ll let you know when I need you, H. For now, though, let me do this myself?”
“Of course.” He captured my finger between his teeth and chewed on the pad. I was wet instantly.
My eyes never left his mouth, riveted to the things he was doing to my finger—promises for later that evening. Or sooner, the way things were progressing. “And, the awesome thing about him canceling is that now you’ve got me all night. Whatcha gonna do with me?”
He removed my finger from his mouth. “You’re not going back tonight?”
“Nope. I’m all yours. You can take me out, and then I can take you in.” I waggled my brows suggestively. I hadn’t had that many opportunities to play with Hudson, and I was enjoying myself. Our relationship before had been confined to “show” and “sex.” This in between stuff was still new. And awfully fun.
Hudson sat up straighter, his arm moving from my shoulder to the back of the seat instead. “Actually, I can’t.” He didn’t meet my eyes. “I arranged dinner with you, but then I have other plans.”
“Oh.” I swallowed. “Yeah, of course. I shouldn’t have assumed.” Just because we had a relationship now didn’t mean that he didn’t have a life of his own. Hudson was a busy man—he had business deals and charity events and all sorts of things that didn’t involve me. Why did it feel so much like a rejection, then?
Hudson sighed. “Alayna.”
“Nope, my bad.” My throat felt tight, but I forced a smile. “I’ll watch one of my movies or catch up on my reading. Not a biggie.”
“But we still have dinner.”
“Yep.” I nodded too long. As if nodding could erase all the suspicions that were entering my mind. Like, what were his other plans? Who had plans at eight on a Friday night? Why wasn’t he telling me what they were so that I wouldn’t assume the worst? Because I was assuming the worst. Big time. Assuming dates with other women and…and…well, mostly that—dates with other women. Women like Norma Anders.
I could ask him. But I knew if I asked, it would sound like an accusation. Or I was afraid it would sound like an accusation. Because it would totally be an accusation.
So I didn’t ask. I wouldn’t.
We sat in silence for about thirty seconds.
Then I couldn’t handle it any longer. “So, um, what exactly are your other plans?” I squeezed his leg, hoping that would lighten any tension I might have created.
“It’s...” He shook his head. “It’s nothing.”
So much for lightening the tension. “Seriously? You can’t say it’s nothing and expect me to let that drop.” I added an awkward laugh to cover any shrillness that might be hiding in my tone. Inside, the paranoia built in my chest—paranoia that absolutely drove me insane and, like the most determined weed, was almost impossible to kill once it took root. I had to fight it, I couldn’t let it win.
Hudson’s jaw twitched. He was considering. Or trying to make up a good lie. Finally he spoke. “I’m going to a dinner with my mother.”
Sophia. Just thinking about her made my spirits sink. No wonder Hudson didn’t want to bring it up.
“Oh.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to sort the situation out. “But we’re going to dinner now.”
He didn’t bat an eye. “I was planning to eat light.”
“You were planning to eat twice? We can skip dinner. Eat with her. I can catch a bite later.” That sounded like an understanding girlfriend, right? Because that’s how I needed to sound, despite the fact that I felt anything but understanding.
“I’d rather eat with you and skip dinner with her.”
“Then do that.”
“I can’t. It’s her birthday. She expects me there.”
And there it was. The rest of the story. “Today’s your mother’s birthday and you weren’t going to mention it?”
He removed his arm from behind me and dropped it into his lap. “It’s not like you two are close.”
“But you are!” I swiveled as much as the seatbelt would allow so I could face him. “She’s your mother. Your family is important to you, whether you want to admit it or not. If I’m important to you, too, then shouldn’t you share what’s up with them?”
He met my eyes, piercing me in such a way I had to brace for his words. “You are import
ant to me, Alayna, and me not telling you about this has no reflection on that.” He relaxed his stare. “You were going to be at work, there was no reason to even mention it.”
“But now I’m not working...”
“And now you know.”
I knew because I’d dragged it from him. I knew because my circumstances changed and forced him to have to tell me. And the only reason I’d planned to be at work in the first place was because Hudson had conveniently arranged for me to be. He’d worked to keep this dinner from me. Did he really think that he could pick and choose the things he chose to share in a relationship?
Maybe he did. To his credit, he hadn’t had a real relationship before.
And wasn’t I picking and choosing what I shared with him?
I didn’t want to think about that. My secrets had no bearing on the conversation at hand. My secrets were still safe. His was not. And finding out he’d kept something from me didn’t feel right, it didn’t feel good. He should have told me. Hell, he should have invited me!
I blinked back a tear that was threatening to fall. “Is it just going to be you and her?”
“No. The rest of my family will be there, too.”
My lip quivered. “And you’re still not going to invite me?”
“No, I’m not.”
I didn’t say anything. Tears were falling now and I didn’t think I could talk. God, since I’d been with Hudson, I’d turned into a total crier. How embarrassing.
Hudson moved to wipe away a tear, but I pulled away, not wanting his touch.
“It’s family only, Alayna. Not a big deal.”
“Family only. Yep, I get it.” I tried not to let that sting. Of course I wasn’t family, but I’d been welcomed by most of them—by Mira, her husband Adam, by Hudson’s father Jack. And now Hudson wanted me to live with him. Didn’t that automatically earn me invites to family events?
“Family only. And you don’t get along with Sophia. Why would you want to be there?”
“Because you’re going to be there.” I wiped my wet face with my palm. “And we’re a couple, Hudson. When we were pretending to be a couple, you wanted her to see me with you all the time. Now that we’re really a couple, you don’t. That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Now I care more about you than her, and I’m not going to subject you to an evening with my mother.” His voice was steady. In another situation, I might have admired his continued calm, cool, collected bit, but right now all I could think was, how is he not affected by this? By me?
“Can’t you understand that you not letting me go feels like you’re leaving me out of your life?” My voice cracked. “It hurts.”
“I’m not leaving you out of my life. I’m leaving her out of your life.”
“It doesn’t work like that. You can’t protect me. Besides, it feels like an excuse. It feels like you’re ashamed of me or like I’m not good enough to be with your family.” I was beginning to doubt my decision to move in. Gratefully, I hadn’t said anything yet. If he was setting up barriers between us, was cohabitating really a good idea?
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ve been with my family many times.”
“Then why not tonight?” That was exactly my point. If I was good enough for them before, why not now?
His silence told me he wasn’t willing to explain.
If he needed to be alone with his family, then all right. But I couldn’t help how I felt. Crushed, that’s how I felt. Absolutely crushed.
I needed to be alone before I got awful with him. I didn’t trust myself not to.
Scanning the backseat, I spotted an intercom on each door. I undid my seatbelt and scooted to the door away from Hudson. I depressed the button. “Jordan, can you drop me off at my apartment?”
With lightning speed, Hudson hit his own button. “Ignore that, Jordan.”
“I want to go home, Hudson. I can’t be with you right now.” I could barely see through my tears, but I heard him unbuckle his seatbelt and then felt him slide across the seat to me. “I don’t want to be touched right now. Please.”
He ignored me, pulling me into his arms. I resisted, which was senseless, really. He could overpower me in a heartbeat.
Still, I leaned into the door, pushing him away.
“Stop it. Stop fighting me.” He caught each of my arms in his and held them, his hands circling my forearms with strength I couldn’t hope to defeat. “Stop fighting.”
“Then stop hurting me,” I sobbed.
He knew I didn’t mean physically. He wasn’t gripping me that tightly.
“All right.” He let go of me, his voice full of resignation. “You can come. If you really want to be part of this awful night, then you are welcome to join me.”
My tears had frozen, surprised that I’d won. I’d never won these battles. They usually ended in me groveling, and then, when the guy refused to take me back, I would resort to crazy behavior. Like stalking. And stealing mail. And showing up at places where I knew the guy would be.
It never ended with me still with the guy.
Maybe because I was so relieved or because I was in shock, or more likely because I suddenly felt overwhelmingly guilty about the whole conversation, I burst into a new set of tears.
“Now what?”
My crying continued, but this time I let him pull me into his arms. “I’m such a bitch,” I said into his shoulder.
“What?”
I lifted my mouth from the material of his jacket. “I’m a total bitch. I didn’t mean to pressure you into an invite, and I did. I won’t go, I’ll stay home.” He’d asked me out of duress. It felt shitty.
Hudson pulled me tighter against him, kissing the top of my head. “You’re not a bitch. And you didn’t pressure me into anything. You’re coming with me. It will be awful, but at least it will be awful together.”
Wiping the tears from my face, I raised my eyes to his. “Are you sure?”
“I’m completely sure it will be awful.”
I chuckled. “Are you sure I can come?”
He leaned his head against mine, placing a hand on my cheek. “I am. I want you there. I always wanted you there.” He trailed his hand down my neck. “But my mother is mean and terrible and she wants to hurt me. And she knows the easiest way to hurt me is to hurt you.” His hand at my waist gripped me tighter, his fingers digging through my dress into my skin. “I can’t bear to watch you go through that.”
It was my turn to assure him. I reached up, placing my hands on the sides of his face, forcing him to look at me. “Nothing she says or does means anything to me. Do you hear me? I already won. I have you.”
His eyes clouded—not simply with the lust that often darkened his gray hue when he looked at me—but with emotion that I could only name as love.
He pulled me even closer, as if he could pull me into him if he tried hard enough. “You do have me. Completely.”
I don’t know if I moved to him or he moved to me, just that our mouths were together, shifting in such a way that it was much more than kissing. It was a declaration—a statement of a union between the two of us that we couldn’t yet express in any way besides with our bodies.
When he pulled away, I was breathless and flushed.
His eyes lowered to my outfit. “You’ll need a dress. We should have time to stop by the boutique.” He reached across me and pushed the intercom. “Jordan, change of plans. Take us to Mirabelle’s.”
Chapter Ten
Mirabelle owned one of the hottest boutiques in New York City. Despite never needing to work a day in her life, the middle Pierce child had an eye for clothing design and she put it to good use. Her shop was by appointment only, and I’d nearly lost myself in fashionista heaven when Hudson had taken me to purchase racks of clothing almost two weeks before.
After directing Jordan to Greenwich Vil
lage where Mira’s was located, Hudson pulled out his phone and called his sister. I listened half-heartedly to their short conversation. “Thanks, we’re on our way,” he said before hanging up.
“She won’t be there,” he said to me as he pocketed his phone. “She’s getting ready for the party. But Stacy will take care of you.”
I groaned inwardly at the thought of dealing with Stacy, Mira’s too-thin blonde assistant. She had a thing for Hudson, had even gone out with him on at least one occasion. Needless to say, she wasn’t fond of me. The daggers she shot with her eyes were poisonous enough to kill an army.
Plus, she made me jealous. Mira insisted that Stacy wasn’t even a blip on Hudson’s radar. But one night, when I’d cyber-stalked him, I’d seen a picture of Hudson and Stacy together. They looked good. And I bet she didn’t have a history of crazy like I did.
If I could avoid seeing Stacy, I’d be a much happier person. “If Mira’s not going to be there, maybe we shouldn’t bother with the boutique. We could go back to my place and get something that we bought last time.”
“No, we need something new. I’ll want to show you off.”
I wasn’t sure if that made me happy or irritated. On the one hand, he liked the way I looked enough to feel like he could parade me. On the other hand, was that all I was? A show pony? Was this left over from our convince-everyone-we’re-together scheme?
It was likely none of the above, simply a complimentary statement from a man to his woman. My emotions were still too muddled from the last fifteen minutes—from the last twenty-four hours—and now everything had a twinge of heaviness. It didn’t seem like I could simply take anything at face value. There were layers to every gesture, every comment, every moment, and I was having a hard time getting my head around it all.
The nearly forty-five minute drive from Uptown to the Village didn’t help. I cuddled into Hudson and closed my eyes trying to nap, unsuccessfully. When Jordan finally pulled up in front of the boutique, it felt like a lifetime had passed.
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