by Baron Sord
That confirmed my theory. I did lose body mass when I ejected physical flames. Before I could ponder the implications of that further, a doctor came out to tell us the news about Arnold.
“How is he?” I asked, sitting on the edge of my seat.
The doctor eyed the mountain of empty wrappers on the waiting room table in front of Kristy and I. Sunchips, Lays, Snickers, Hershey bars, and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, to name a few.
“I’ll clean this up,” Kristy said guiltily and quickly scrunched all the wrappers into a wad.
The doctor said, “Your friend is doing fine. He was very lucky.”
“Did you get the bullet out?” I asked.
“We did. I’m happy to report it didn’t damage any vital organs, but it did nick a few critical blood vessels. What I can’t figure out is how it cauterized them back together. But it did.”
I could figure it out, but I wasn’t saying anything on that topic. Instead, I asked, “Are they going to be okay? The vessels, I mean?”
“We had to open up two and stent them to ensure they heal properly, but they should be fine in a few weeks.”
I wasn’t surprised. Weeks ago, when I’d been working on Cauterized Guy, maintaining the structure of his large femoral artery had been relatively easy to do with my fingers. With Arnold, although Kristy’s MRI vision had given me a zoomed-in view of Arnold’s vessels, it hadn’t made my fingers any smaller. Yes, I could release heat with micro-precision from any surface on my finger (and presumably my toes, not that I’d tried), but my fingers weren’t any more micro than before getting my powers. Anyone who uses tools will tell you that fingers are a feeble substitute for tweezers or needle-nose pliers or what have you. In any case, I was glad the doctor had properly fixed my hasty kludge of Arnold’s wounds.
Kristy asked, “What’s a stent?”
The doctor said, “A stent is a tube inserted into the vessel to help it maintain its structure. It’ll be absorbed by the body in time,” he smiled at her politely and thought, She sure is beautiful. Unlike the cop, the doctor was obviously trying to maintain his professionalism and not stare at her, but he did let a few glances slip.
I said, “So, Arnold is going to be okay?”
“Baring any unforeseen complications, he has a good chance of a full recovery. Rest will be critical. He’ll need to take it easy for at least a month. There was significant trauma to the muscular and fascial tissue around the wound and grazing of the intestinal wall. Everything should heal, but your friend may need to use a cane or crutches until he’s fully recovered. He’ll likely need PT — physical therapy — to regain mobility, but I think that’s a minor concern at this point.”
I grinned, “So this is good news?”
“I think so,” the doctor smiled.
“When does he get to go home?” I asked.
“I’d like to keep him overnight for observation. If he’s stable, he may be ready to go home tomorrow afternoon. If not, we’ll keep him another day,” the doctor finished with a well-meaning smile.
I smiled at Kristy.
Her eyes glimmered and she threw her arms around me and hugged me tight.
I just about lost it.
Arnold was going to be okay!
Oh, and Kristy was hugging me. Not that I noticed. I did notice her boobs squishing against my chest, but only slightly because:
My best friend was okay!
Boobs!
Arnold was going to live!
Boobs!
Guys, you understand.
Boobs!
Ladies? You may never understand.
—: Chapter 30 :—
“Doug! Good to see you!” Arnold’s dad Gavin said cheerily when he came walking up to me outside Arnold’s hospital room.
Arnold’s mom Natalie held Gavin’s hand.
I had known Gavin and Natalie for as long as I’d known Arnold. They were like family.
Gavin shook my hand firmly and looked me over while marveling, “When did you get so damn tall?! I don’t remember you being so tall!”
I muttered uneasily, “Working on my posture and going to the gym more.”
“I’ll say,” Natalie laughed while hugging me warmly. Still holding my arms, her eyes searched my face and she said, “Whatever you’re doing, it sure is working. You’re positively glowing!”
“Yeah,” I said uncomfortably.
It was late morning. I had called them earlier while the sun was still coming up. They had immediately driven to San Diego from where they lived in Newport Beach near the ocean. They owned a mansion there too. I had been several times. It made the one I shared with Arnold look like an old cottage by comparison.
“Is Arnold okay?” Natalie asked, clearly worried. She hadn’t spoken to Arnold on the phone earlier because he’d been sleeping since coming out of surgery.
“He’s fine,” I said. “Eating breakfast right now.”
We walked into Arnold’s hospital room. He was sitting up in bed and Kristy was helping him eat (she still wore her trench coat wrapped tightly over her costume so no one would see it). By helping, I meant feeding Arnold a spoonful of apple sauce like he was a baby. He was loving every second of it.
“Hi there,” Natalie said, confused by Kristy’s presence. “Who are you?”
Arnold beamed, “Mom, this is my girlfriend Kristy.” We had kept up the lie for simplicity’s sake. Arnold winked at me shamelessly.
I tried not to glare at him.
Kristy flashed me a smug grin.
“See, honey!” Gavin grinned at his wife with pride, “I told you our son isn’t gay!”
Natalie slapped his shoulder, “Gavin!”
Kristy giggled, “Arnold’s definitely not gay.” She made sure to point her comment directly at me.
I pretended to ignore it.
“Gavin Beaks,” Gavin said to Kristy, jumping right in to shake her hand.
“Oh, sorry.” Kristy set the spoon and bowl of apple sauce down on the rolling table beside Arnold’s hospital bed before extending her hand, “Kristy.”
“Nice to meet you, Kristy,” Gavin beamed, almost as excited as Arnold to be interacting with her.
“Ignore him,” Natalie said, flicking a sidelong smirk at her husband. “He doesn’t get out much and he left his manners at home today.”
“It’s okay,” Kristy said, somewhat uncomfortable.
“You sure are pretty,” Natalie chuckled nervously.
“Oh, um, thanks,” Kristy said, now even more uncomfortable.
I wanted to tell Natalie that everyone was like this around Kristy, men and women, but Natalie was already feeling it, and I didn’t want to add to Kristy’s discomfort or anyone else’s by mentioning it. Once again, I had to wonder, did Kristy have some sort of super beauty power? It sure seemed like it.
Natalie turned to Arnold, “So what happened?”
“Shot myself,” Arnold grinned. His sedative had mostly worn off, but the local anesthesia from surgery hadn’t quite yet, so he was feeling pretty good. Having Kristy fawn over him didn’t hurt either.
“Arn was cleaning his gun,” I added. I’d already told his parents the story over the phone, but they needed to hear it from their son.
Gavin frowned, “Arnold, how many times have I told you, always treat a firearm like it’s loaded!”
“I know, Dad,” Arnold groaned.
“I’m serious, son. You could’ve killed yourself.”
“Gaaa-vin,” Natalie chortled, “Go easy on your boy. He’s probably in pain.”
Gavin grumbled, “Good. It’ll serve as a reminder to check the chamber next time. I don’t want you dead, son.”
Arnold groaned again, “I know, Dad! Geez! I don’t want me dead either!”
“None of us do,” I said, trying to break the tension.
“Especially not my girlfriend,” Arnold said, wrapping his arm possessively around Kristy’s waist. “Isn’t that right, babe?”
“That’s right.” Kristy pla
yed along like a professional, leaning into Arnold’s good side and kissing the top of his thick hair.
Arnold shot me a smug grin.
I wanted to tell him, if he wasn’t careful, I would shoot him later. If it was anybody other than him, and if he hadn’t been shot because of me, I would’ve said it out loud now. But I let it slide.
Later, Arnold’s doctor paid us a visit and told us he wanted to keep Arnold overnight again for observation, and so the nurses could help change Arnold’s dressings.
Because Arnold’s parents were comfortably retired, they decided to stay the day. That evening, Kristy and I had dinner with them in the hospital cafeteria.
It turned out Gavin and Natalie were in love with Kristy and thought she was perfect for Arnold. They told us so over dinner. I thought Kristy was perfect for me and no one else, but I didn’t say it.
“Are you and Arnold serious?” Natalie asked in a conspiratorial whisper, leaning across the cafeteria table like Arnold might be listening from his hospital room.
Kristy giggled, “Um, well, you know.”
Gavin grinned, “She wants to know when she can expect grandchildren.”
“Gavin!” Natalie laughed. Then she locked her eyes on Kristy, waiting for an answer. “No, seriously. Any wedding plans?”
“Um…” Kristy chuckled nervously, pushing her fork absently through the food on her cafeteria tray.
I sat back with a smug grin on my face and watched her tread water while chewing on my mouthful of mashed potatoes and gravy.
“Well, you see…” Kristy was completely convincing in her total lack of a definitive answer that took several minutes of verbal rambling for her to explain. By the time she finished, I was convinced she and Arnold were a thing. So were Gavin and Natalie.
Of course, later, Arnold and I would have to concoct a good story to explain his inevitable break up with Kristy. She would end up lost at sea. Or kidnapped. Or moved to China. Or actually a man. Something juicy and scandalous that would be more interesting for Gavin and Natalie than the fact their son was once again —and almost perpetually — single. Because the chances that Kristy would actually date Arnold were negligible at best, or so I told myself out of jealousy. What did I know? Maybe she would take a liking to Arnold because his family was rich. Or because she liked him for his personality. Did you catch my sarcasm there at the end? It wasn’t intentional, I swear.
Eventually, when we finished eating and the sun had gone down, the four of us made our way back to Arnold’s room. When we walked in, Arnold had the news running on the TV.
Tanner Landry, KOSD-6’s favorite Artificial Windbag, said, “It seems there’s a new superhero in San Diego.” The screen cut to video of Lady Liberty talking to the reporters last night at the burning box factory. Tanner continued narrating, “The mysterious woman calling herself Lady Liberty, who has been something of a sensation in Los Angeles and Orange County for the past several weeks, made her way down to Oceanside last night. You’ll never guess who her new superhero sidekick is.” The video cut to footage of me in my ninja mask on the roof standing beside LL (whenever she was in costume, I thought of her as LL). “San Diego’s own Masked Jumper—”
“Sidekick?” Arnold grumbled groggily. By now, the local anesthesia had worn off and he was numbed by whatever morphine derivative he was on for pain. “He’s not a sidekick! And his name isn’t the Masked Jumper! It’s Wildfire and he’s my room—!”
I yelped, “THERE’S A SPIDER ON ARNOLD!” I lunged onto Arnold’s bed and yanked the remote out of his hand. I hastily changed the channel to a nature show.
“Doug!” Natalie gasped. “Be careful of Arnold! He’s been shot!”
“Sorry, Mrs. Beaks,” I cringed. “There was a huge spider crawling on him.”
Eyeing the remote in my hand, Gavin said, “That doesn’t look like a spider.”
I stammered, “It was… uhhh… I must’ve flicked it on the floor with the remote. The spider, I mean.”
“Well somebody should kill it,” Natalie said, looking around cautiously. “I hate spiders.”
“Not Spider-Man, Mom,” Arnold slurred. “Wildfire! His name is Wildfire, and he’s nobody’s sidekick. Tell her, Doug.” Arnold stared at me with glassy pain-med eyes. “Tell her.”
Kristy was snickering through all of this. She shrugged at me and smiled.
“Uhhh…” I had no idea what to say, but I needed to say something. “That guy on the TV is Wildfire.”
“Who’s Wildfire?” Natalie asked, looking between me and Lady Liberty.
“Doug! See?!” Arnold said, pointing at the elephants in the nature show now playing on the TV.
“That’s not Doug,” Natalie sighed. “Those are elephants, Arnold.” She looked at everyone and said, “I think he needs to rest. Maybe we should all go outside?”
“Yeah! Great idea,” I said and ushered everyone through the door as fast as I could. “Does anybody need any coffee? Let’s go get some coffee.”
Natalie waved a hand, “I can’t have caffeine this late. It gives me gas.”
“Yeah it does,” Gavin muttered.
She slapped his arm. “Gavin!”
Kristy tried not to laugh.
So did I. It didn’t work very well and I snickered despite myself, which caused Gavin to snicker as well.
Natalie rolled her eyes at Gavin and me and grumbled, “Enough, you two.”
Eventually I convinced everyone (except Arnold) to go for a stroll around this floor of the hospital so Arnold could sleep. With any luck, he would be asleep when we returned to his room, not watching more news about me and Lady Liberty.
As we neared the elevators, Kristy said apologetically, “It’s late. I should probably go.”
“You’re not leaving already, are you?” Natalie pleaded. “We’re just getting to know you!”
“I have to work tonight,” Kristy smirked.
“Work? This late?” Natalie was confused. Nobody in Gavin and Natalie’s tax bracket worked after 2:00pm. “What on God’s green earth do you have to do so late?”
I was about to come to Kristy’s rescue and say she drew comics for a living, but I didn’t want to reveal that Kristy was the person who drew the Lady Liberty comic, which, if you searched Lady Liberty on the internet, would likely convince you that Arnold’s faux girlfriend Kristy was in fact the real Lady Liberty. So I didn’t say a thing. Plus, it was her turn to squirm.
“I’m a waitress,” Kristy said confidently.
Natalie said, “At someplace nice, I hope.”
I said, “I hear it’s real nice.”
Kristy glared at me.
“Well,” Natalie said, “maybe we’ll come by some time. When Arnold is feeling better. What’s it called?”
“Um…” Kristy giggled. “I don’t think you’d like it. The food isn’t that great.”
I snorted, “I hear the ambiance is.”
Kristy shot me an annoyed look. Then she said, “Trust me, Natalie. You’d hate it. I just work there because they let me pick my hours.”
“Oh,” Natalie said. “That’s important. How are the tips? I hear waitresses make all their money on tips.”
“Oh, the tips are great,” Kristy grinned.
I snickered, “I bet you get a lot of ones. A lot of ones…”
Kristy scowled at me.
I knew about stripper tips because, on those days when Clifton was going to a strip joint after work with Rene, Clifton always made a point of showing me his “fat bankroll” of cash beforehand. His bankroll being at least a hundred dollars in ones with a few twenties wrapped around the outside.
“Anyway,” Kristy said with mild irritation. She smiled at Natalie and Gavin and said, “I should really go.”
“Well, Kristy,” Natalie sighed, “I hate to see you leave. We’ve had so much fun getting to know you, but we wouldn’t want you missing out on any good tips.”
“Thanks,” Kristy smiled.
After Kristy said her goodbyes
to Gavin and Natalie, I accompanied her downstairs in the elevator. The two of us walked to Kristy’s Audi in the parking structure.
Once there, I had her open the trunk so I could get Arnold’s bulletproof vest.
“Thanks,” I said. With no place to put Arnold’s vest, I decided to wear it under my T-shirt, which I stripped off.
“There are those abs again,” Kristy giggled. “If I had a dollar, I’d tip you.”
“A whole dollar?” I smirked.
“I do have change. How about a quarter?”
Uncertain whether she was mocking me or not, I rolled my eyes before putting on the vest and pulling my shirt back over my head. I said, “That was a close call back there.”
“What,” Kristy said, “talking about my job to Arnold’s parents?”
“No. The newscast.”
“Oh. Were you worried about Arnold’s parents knowing you’re the Masked Jumper?”
“Aren’t you? I mean, do you want people knowing you’re Lady Liberty?”
“Nope.”
“But you’re worried about Arnold’s parents knowing you’re a stripper?”
“That’s different,” she said.
“I don’t see how it’s worse.”
“Trust me, it is. If you were a mom, would you want your son dating a stripper?”
“I hadn’t thought about it that way, but you aren’t dating Arnold.”
“Still, I wouldn’t want them thinking about me like that. Or Arnold.”
“But them knowing you’re a superhero is okay?”
“Think of it this way,” she said. “You said yourself you’re spending tons of money on food. I don’t know about you, but I’m spending even more on gas driving around helping everybody. I’m going broke doing this.”
“Yeah, me too. What does that have to do with Arnold’s parents? Do you not want them knowing you’re broke?”
“Not really. But what I mean is, I’m hoping I’ll land an endorsement deal. If I get enough exposure, I will. Then I won’t be broke.”
I nodded thoughtfully, “An endorsement deal, huh? From Nike or something? Have them make Air Liberty shoes?”
She grinned at me, “Something like that. They pay athletes to be the face of their clothes and shoes. You and I are both athletes and we help people while fighting crime. They’d be crazy to pass up a chance to endorse people like you and me.”