"If I say yes, would I get a kiss?" he asked.
"Maybe." I played along, admiring how low his towel was, giving me a nice glimpse of his lower abdominal muscles and lines. "I'd love to shower with you."
"I didn't know that was an option, but I'd be down to having some company in the shower." His black eyes were already beginning their shift to silver and my smile widened into a grin.
"Tease."
"I don't get why I'm being accused of teasing when you brought up showering with me."
"You know abs and V-lines is the perfect bait for 90% of all woman in existence."
"That's a high percentage," Xander replied as he handed me the glass of water. He opened up the bottle of meds, poured out two tablets into the lid of the container, and offered them to me.
With a quick thank you, I took the two tablets and popped them into my mouth, drinking the full glass of water to wash them down. It was recommended to take them with food, but Silas did promise to make me a good dessert.
Or I could have some time with Xander… but I don't think cum counts as food… ugh, I'm thinking way too dirty for my own good. I should see Amy tomorrow morning before my date. I can't handle anymore “no sex” days.
"It's a fair estimate," I replied.
"And the remaining ten percent?" Xander asked.
"That's for like… I don't know, foot fetishes.” I giggled at his disgusted face.
"That's not a thing."
"It is so."
He took the glass from me and walked over to place it onto my nightstand. When he walked back to where I stood, his arms wrapped around my waist. He pulled me into a hug, the action totally random, but my body wasn't going to push him away.
I melted in his embrace, resting my head on his shoulder as I hugged him back.
"You okay?" I asked.
"I should be asking you that," he said, his voice muffled against my shoulder.
"I'm hanging in there," I replied. "You guys make it a lot easier to not think about things."
He took a deep breath and pulled back to give me a smooth kiss. "Time," he whispered, and I grinned, pressing my forehead against his.
"Time to enjoy some much-needed time off?" I suggested.
He smirked and nodded. "Come shower with me."
"The others would notice if I'm not back to play Mario Kart."
"Mario can wait, and I told Silas to make your dessert in thirty minutes."
"Sneaky," I commented. "What about Dante?"
"Ace will keep him occupied by kicking his ass in Mario Kart." Xander grinned, looking proud of himself for figuring it all out.
"You got this all planned out quickly." I quietly giggled, leaning up to kiss his lips.
"My brain likes to go the extra mile when it comes to a beautiful, compassionate woman named Xia," he mumbled against my lips. We kissed again, and I broke it to give him a confident smirk.
"Want to do me a favor?"
"What?"
"Tomorrow morning, can we see Amy?"
"For..." He trailed off looking concerned for a second, but I shook my head.
"I'm feeling just fine. I want her to give me the clearance," I elaborated.
"Oh." His eyes turned pure silver as my words registered. "Can't we do that tonight?"
"We're not going all the way to see Amy tonight." I laughed and slapped his chest.
"Darn. Okay, I'll call her here," he declared.
"No you won't!" I giggled and hugged him. "Tomorrow."
"Fine. We'll go together after our run?"
"That sounds like a plan. Run, check-up, and date with Silas." I planned in my head.
"And cuddle time with Xander in the early morning," he teased, leaning down to kiss my collarbone.
"Hey. You always get cuddle time."
"I'm already at third base, I get to have lots of cuddle time before the others catch up."
"Silas is catching up," I purred.
"Oh really? Wouldn't a threesome be nice," he growled back, his silver eyes showing his approval of the idea.
"Ace may catch up," I pointed out.
"The more the merrier, Xia baby. Think you can handle three cocks?" Xander teased. His hands slid to my ass and deliberately pulled me forward to press my lower half against his groin.
"Ugh, don't tempt me," I groaned, and he chuckled quietly.
"I have to admit, it's hot seeing you sexually frustrated."
"You're evil." I pouted my lips. "No sex for you."
"That's just cruel." He gave me a quick peck on my lips. "Shower."
"I don't want to re-apply bandages," I argued.
"I'll do it."
"We can't have sex."
"Fingering and blowjobs don't count, right?" He winked at me and let go, heading towards the shower. I bit my lip in frustration.
That smartass.
After a moment of contemplation, I followed, taking a glance at the hall and listening carefully.
"Where's Xia?" Dante asked.
"She's taking her meds and changing. She’s probably going to shower," Silas defended.
"Focus on not dying, idiot." Ace spoke with his usual monotone voice.
"Fuck! I'm concentrating now! Stop throwing bananas dammit!" Dante argued.
Silas came into view and he paused to stare at me. He shot me a wink, and I felt a light tap against my ass, prompting me to walk into the washroom. What a promoter...
On its own, the door closed, and I stared at it, a knowing smirk forming on my lips.
Wonder if this is one of the benefits of time off? The perks of being free.
I stirred at the sucking sensation against my neck, a weak moan leaving my lips. My mind wandered, unsure what was real and a part of the land of sleep I’d been deeply submerged in.
The slight nibble on my flesh and slow sucking motion that sent ripples of pleasure through my body kept my mind from going back to the world of darkness. I wouldn’t deny that the current pleasure I was enduring was nice to wake up to, giving me enough of a push to open my heavy eyelids.
“Xander.” My voice croaked out, knowing from my last train of memories that he’d been the one to pick me up and carry me to bed.
The last I remembered was being in the living room in a Silas and Xander sandwich.
* * *
“Who thought it was a smart idea to have Ace and Xia tag team?” Dante grumbled under his breath.
“You did.” Silas chuckled quietly, and I snuggled closer, my eyes still closed while my body relaxed.
Something brushed my cheek, stroking it lightly, which tugged a sleepy smile on my lips. As intrigued as I was to know who was doing such a calming motion against my cheek, I was far too worn out to fight the heavy exhaustion that plagued my mind.
It was hard enough to battle against the pull of sleep that taunted my mind.
“Xia?” Xander’s smooth voice was low, almost as if he didn’t want to disturb me from my approaching slumber.
“She fell asleep,” Ace voiced, sounding confident that what he’d said was fact.
“It is late, and she normally sleeps around this time,” Silas replied.
“You’ve been very observant lately,” Xander confronted. “Should I be worried you’ll snatch my girlfriend?” Xander asked in a friendly tone.
Silas hummed quietly to himself. “I don’t know. Maybe you should be worried, though the real Mr. Steal Your Girl is currently kicking Dante’s ass at Mario Kart for about the… 59th round?”
“It’s actually 60th. I just won,” Ace announced calmly. “He didn’t stand a chance.”
“One of these days, I’ll beat you,” Dante vowed.
“Xia didn’t even know how to play and beat you,” Xander pointed out.
“Minor details,” Dante replied. “I was going easy on her.”
“Sure.” Silas, Xander, and Ace laughed. I almost thought I was dreaming when I heard Ace’s rich laughter.
“You wish. All she needed was a tutorial to kick your ass,”
Silas acknowledged.
“With Peach too. She wasn’t going to be a Princess in distress,” Xander added.
“I’m happy she’s here,” Ace said quietly.
The room was silent then, and Xander sighed. “It’s been a while since we’ve actually chilled together, huh?”
“Long time,” Silas replied.
“How death can pull people apart,” Dante muttered.
“And how death can also bring people back together,” Ace replied solemnly. “I’m off to bed.”
“Xander, she’s sleeping with you tonight?” Silas asked.
“Ya. Just in case she has nightmares or something. We’re going to run in the morning and head to see Amy,” Xander revealed.
“Is she okay?” Dante asked.
“She’s fine. She getting her remaining wounds healed up and needs clearance.”
“Clearance for?” Dante asked.
Silas cleared his throat. “Why don’t we talk about this in the morning?”
“I don’t think Xia’s fully asleep yet. Don’t want to wake her,” Ace added.
The other two were silent for a moment before Xander breathed in deeply. “Sure. You have a point. Don’t want to wake her up.”
“Sure,” Dante replied. “You guys head to bed. I’ll clean up and make sure security is doing their job.”
“Thanks, Dante,” Xander mumbled. I felt myself being lifted up, and I stirred, snuggling closer to what I believed was Xander’s chest.
“See. Not fully asleep,” Ace commented.
“Your instincts scare me at times.” Silas sighed. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Xander, let me know if you want me to come with for Xia’s appointment. I should be awake.”
“Will do,” Xander replied.
They all expressed their good nights, and my mind finally drifted to sleep.
* * *
Waking up to pleasurable nibbles and kisses, was something I could get used to.
“Hmm?” Xander replied, moving back slightly as I turned over from our spooning position to stare into his silver eyes.
Our shared look led to his lips descending onto mine, and in return, I pressed my body against his, loving the warmth he provided and how he lit me up from the inside out.
Our magic started to thrum between us, like a drum beginning to beat louder and harder.
My free hand reached up to run through his short locks while his hand slid down the side of my body, avoiding every bruised spot and bandaged section. It was like he memorized my body just from viewing it bare during our shower session, and that moved me in so many ways.
Our passionate kisses deepened into fierce ones, and our hands roamed around; mine ran through his hair and gripped his back, while his reached my hips and he rolled us over. My back pressed against the sheets as his body pinned me down.
“Xander.” I moaned, the both of us catching our breath.
“I don’t want to wait.” He whispered and kissed me softly.
“Weren’t you the one who said for me to follow doctor’s orders?” I playfully purred against those delicious lips of his, tugging at his bottom lip soon after with my teeth.
He couldn’t reply as I kissed him hard, struggling not to be lost by the magic growing between us. It’s like the sadness and heartbreak of everything was pushed to the side and the longing for touch and intimacy burst to the surface, craving to be seen and pleased.
“Slow and cautious,” Xander mumbled and kissed me.
“You can’t be slow and cautious when you’re in the moment.” I smiled and pulled back to stare into his silver eyes that gazed at me with intense desire.
“I can if it brings you pleasure instead of pain.” His words made my grin widen and I closed my eyes, leaning up to kiss the side of his neck.
His moan excited me, both my body and my mind loving how easy it was to please him. It wasn’t like how I pleased my targets, a task only done to gain what I needed.
Pleasing Xander was something I wanted to do, and each time he moaned and dug his fingernails into the flesh of my hips, it turned me on even more.
“Was the last time we had sex considered slow?”
“Are you referring to the shower, love?”
“You said that didn’t count as sex,” I retorted with a quiet giggle.
He blushed and looked away, and I leaned back onto the sheets to enjoy his cute, embarrassed expression.
“Sure,” he muttered, and now I was full-on laughing. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I stared into those silver jewels. Those gems filled with love and compassion, at a level I’d never gotten to enjoy until I’d met him.
“Is it wrong for me to want to enjoy this moment? For me to shove all the sadness that clings to my heart, mind, and soul… and just live?” I whispered.
I wasn’t the type to stall before sex, but with Xander, I could always let out my deepest thoughts and fears and have confidence he’d be able to guide me towards the right solution.
“It’s not wrong,” Xander said softly before he kissed me on the forehead. “Sometimes you need to balance it all out. Do you need to rid yourself of the sadness or quicken the pace of you accepting this new reality? No, not at all. Time is endless, and there’s no limit to our emotions and how we deal with anything that occurs in our lives. There will always be times that you need to shove away all your worries and fears and enjoy something different. You’re allowed to be happy one day, and sad the next. It’s your body’s way of coping with our harsh reality, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
He lifted his left hand, using his right to support himself. I unhooked my arms so he could show me his wrist.
It was blank at first, and I returned my gaze to Xander who closed his eyes. I sensed a hint of magic and my eyes diverted back to his wrist that now showed an arrow tattoo. It was a single black arrow and around it was four colored orbs; two orbs on either side of the spine of the pointy arrow.
Silver, blue, pink, and orange orbs, while the arrow itself was black at the tip, shifting to green and gold when it reached the tail.
“An arrow… four orbs...” I trailed off, already piecing everything together.
Arrow and the other guys, including Xander.
Xander smiled at my expression. “We got this actually before Arrow passed. It was pretty funny. We’d been drinking and decided what fun it would be to get matching tattoos. Even though we argue and fight, we decided having a tattoo to symbolize our friendship would remind us that no matter how far away we are or how upset we can get with one another, this symbol proves our friendship was worthy of a permanent tattoo.”
Xander lowered his hand back down and smiled, his once sad expression turning into one full of peace.
“When Arrow passed, it was hard, Xia. I probably took it the hardest, and I’d do anything not to think about it. Work harder, longer, barely sleep. I wanted my mind to buzz and be too busy to even think about facing reality. I didn’t want to accept that Arrow was gone. Eventually, it caught up to me and my sadness, agony, pain, and regret hit me all at once, and if it wasn’t for the same amazing friends who I shared this tattoo with, the multiple emotions that I’d shoved away would have swallowed me whole.”
He leaned down to kiss me gently and pressed his forehead against mine.
“What I needed was balance. To be allowed to be lost in my sadness, and to be able to enjoy the joys of life. You’re allowed to enjoy pleasure and happiness, just as you’re allowed to have time to mourn and accept the hardships life throws at us. I came to realize that Arrow wouldn’t want me to mourn his death and stop myself from enjoying the good and high times of my life. I doubt Minju would want you to only be sad and not move forward.”
“Even if it sometimes feels wrong… like I don’t deserve to enjoy these moments with you or the others?” My voice was filled with sadness, but I didn’t dare cry, knowing that if I uncapped the bottle of emotions, I’d break down in tears.
“Our mind likes to play tricks on us. To
guilt us into thinking we don’t deserve to move on because we could easily blame ourselves and be lost in that self-pity. It’s not wrong to return to the life of the living, Xia. We’re allowed to grieve and mourn the loss of friends and family, but there will always be a time where we have to let go of those emotions, accept what has happened, and move forward. If we stick to our denial mentality and beat ourselves up for the past, are we really living?”
He lifted his head to meet my eyes, and I smiled and shook my head. “No.”
“Then, allow yourself to live, Xia. Everything happens for a reason, and though it may not happen with our best interest at heart, we have to accept what life gives, and fight to keep those who have passed on in our hearts. Minju just impacted your life and helped you in some shape or form. That will always resonate with you, and you’ll be a beacon in carrying such love and memories with you for the rest of your life. You’ll always carry a piece of Minju within you, just as Minsu and Minso will as well.”
A single tear rolled down my cheek, and he reached out to wipe it away. “Live, Xia. Don’t be afraid to cry or be sad. Embrace those emotions, but don’t distance yourself from those who love you, thinking they’ll never want to be around you again,” he whispered.
I knew he was referring to the twins, how I haven’t made an effort to see them.
He was right. I was scared, thinking they wouldn’t want to be around me. My mind kept drilling in the fact that I was to blame for Minju’s sacrifice, but was I really living up to it?
Was I living the best life I could live and making Minju’s sacrifice worth it?
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I pulled Xander into a hug. He ended up turning us around so I lay on top of him, but I didn’t mind. Right now, all I needed was his comfort.
“Thank you, Xander.” I choked on my tears, allowing them to fall as I began to sob.
Xander held me tightly, leaving kisses across my neck and shoulder and comforting me as I cried.
“I’m always here for you Xia. No matter what this life has in store for us. Don’t be afraid of this new side of life, for the others and I won’t let you go astray.”
One Thousand and Two Lies (Reapers of Beauty Book 2) Page 7