“I won’t let him,” Eve said gently. “Trust me.”
“That’s what Jock said.” She could no longer hold her eyes open. “Trust me…”
* * *
The hospital room was dark.
But Cara knew that Jock was there as soon as she opened her eyes. He was sitting in a chair no more than three feet from the bed, and she could feel him. But it wasn’t enough, she wanted to see him. “Turn on the light, Jock.”
“I promised I’d call the nurse when you woke. I’m not supposed to touch you or talk to you.”
“Turn on the light.”
He reached over and turned on the light. “Satisfied?”
“No.” She desperately wanted to reach out and touch him. There had been times when she had wondered if she’d ever see him again. Now he was here before her. He looked strong and beautifully, vibrantly alive. “But it will do for right now. I just wanted to make certain you were okay. Eve said you and Joe were searching for Svardak.”
“I assure you that he would have been no danger to either one of us.”
“I couldn’t be sure of that.” She shivered. “He’s so evil, Jock. I believe evil is always dangerous. The poison seems to spread everywhere.”
“I have a very potent antidote for that particular poison. Don’t worry about me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll always worry about you.” She held up her hand as he started to speak. “Eve said that Svardak got away. How did that happen?”
“I took too long getting you down the cliff. By the time I got back up to the cabin, he’d taken that Jeep parked up there and escaped down the back road. Joe and I tracked the car until it disappeared into the trees. It looked as if the road led down toward the next mountain over. He knew exactly where he was going.” His lips tightened. “But it’s only a postponement. I’ll keep my promise to you. I’m sorry, Cara.”
“Sorry? It’s my fault, not yours. I should have stayed and finished it.” She whispered, “I was hoping I’d at least hurt him enough so that he wouldn’t be able to get away. I stabbed him, you know.”
“No, I didn’t know. You weren’t too coherent. But I gathered you’d done something to him. There was blood on the floor of the cabin and a few drops near the back road where the Jeep had been parked.”
“But he still got away. I didn’t think I’d killed him. He was cursing … I stabbed him in the stomach, but I only had that jagged glass I’d pried from the mirror.” She rubbed her temple. “I should have been more careful, Jock. But I knew I only had the one chance to—”
“Hush. Stop apologizing,” he said hoarsely. “You’re driving me crazy. Forget it. You shouldn’t have had to face any of this. I should have been there to do it for you.”
She drew a deep breath. He was right, it wasn’t the time for looking back. It would get her nowhere. She smiled with an effort. “That would have been difficult since you weren’t the one to get an invitation from Svardak. It was me or no one. You’ll have to make sure I do a better job next time.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. There’s not going to be a next time for you.”
“That’s the second time you told me not to worry,” she said quietly. “I can’t help but worry. Particularly now.” She moistened her lips. “He promised me that he would erase everyone I loved. I told Eve that he didn’t know about you, but he might now. You were probably very visible and effective when you and Joe were destroying everyone in sight.”
“I admit I wasn’t shy and retiring.” He smiled grimly. “But I intend to keep him too busy hiding from me to plan an assault.”
“He won’t hide. He’s crazy. He’ll want to strike out as soon as he’s able. It’s my fault. He hates me now as much as he does Kaskov.” Her hand clenched on the sheet. “Maybe more. That’s okay as long as it’s just me. But he mustn’t touch anyone else. I can’t let him do that.”
“Will you shut up?” He was suddenly beside her, his hands cradling her cheeks. “Look at you, dammit. Bruises on your face and body. Split lip. Eve said they even found a cracked rib. No telling what kind of other emotional and mental trauma. He hurt you.” His eyes were blazing down at her, his mouth drawn back from his teeth. “And he’s never going to touch you again. Not ever. So don’t give me that bullshit about keeping everyone else safe from the son of a bitch. He’s not going to live that long.”
“But you didn’t find him yet,” she said quietly. “He got away from the canyon. He’s still out there.”
“I’ll find him.” His hands gathered her two hands in his own. He said through set teeth, “But I have to know everything he did to you. So that I’ll know how long I keep him alive and in agony before I put him down like a rabid animal.”
“Do you think I’d tell you that?” She pulled her hands away from him. “The last thing I want is for you to torture and kill for me. One thing I found out from all this is that I’ve let myself be a victim all my life. I let my friend, Elena, protect me when I was a little girl on the run. Later I let you and Eve and Joe protect me and fight for me. I can’t let it happen again. When I get out of this hospital, I’ll be the one who goes after Svardak.”
“Wrong.”
She looked deep into his eyes. “No, Jock. It stops here. If you won’t accept it, walk away from me. Svardak made me a victim, and I’m taking it back. And I won’t let him make a victim of anyone else in my name.” She closed her eyes. “You can turn off the light now.”
He didn’t move.
She could sense his frustration … and his pain.
She didn’t open her eyes. “I’ll tell you three things about my time with Svardak; and then I’m not mentioning it ever again. One, it became a battle between us, and I won as many as I lost. Two, those battles did not involve rape. Three, I have to win the final battle, and no one else can win it for me. I owe it to Marian and all those other women he called his damn tribute.” She turned over on her side. “Good night, Jock. Will you turn out the light now?”
He slowly got to his feet, and she heard the click of the light switch. She could sense him just standing there in the dark, staring at her. He finally asked jerkily, “Why did you mention that he hadn’t raped you?”
“Because I thought it would bother you not knowing. You would have been afraid it would mean too much to me.”
“Aye,” he said thickly. “You could say that. Imagine me worrying about a tough little cookie like you. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Cara.”
She heard the whoosh of the door as he left the room.
Tough little cookie? She didn’t feel anywhere near that description, she thought wearily. Those last minutes had been terribly painful. She had been hard and firm when she had only wanted to go into his arms and be held and comforted.
But that had been necessary in this new world she found herself in, the world Svardak had created for her. A world where every emotion was deeper, stronger because she had learned she had to fight to hold on to them. She had not thought she could love Jock any more than she had before. But as she had lain here and watched his face and heard him speak, it had been the difference between a lazy river and a deep ocean. She knew it would be the same with all the other people she cared about.
She wasn’t sure that Jock had understood, and it hurt her, because he always understood everything about her. But she would work until he did understand and begin to accept her as she was now. She had to do it no matter how long it took.
Because there was no way on earth she would lose that battle to Svardak.
6:10 A.M.
“How is she?” Joe asked Eve as he strode down the hospital corridor toward her. “I talked to Jock, and all he’d say is that we have to find Svardak.” He took her in his arms. “As if I didn’t know that.” He kissed the top of her head and held her close. “I’ve been up in the mountains trying to find someone to question about his whereabouts. I’ll know more when we interrogate some of the prisoners Kaskov’s men took there. The bastard seems to have
just disappeared.”
“That doesn’t mean he won’t reappear,” Eve said as she held him close for another instant and stepped back. “Cara thinks he will.” Her lips twisted. “And who should know better? She’s terrified of him.”
“She didn’t let him see it. She stabbed the son of a bitch.”
“I know. Completely foreign to anything our Cara would normally do.” She shuddered. “She’s not afraid for herself. Jock said she’s afraid for us. And that’s worse, Joe. I’d much rather we could count on her hiding out and cowering in a cave somewhere.”
“It will get better. We don’t even know what kind of hell she’s gone through.” He looked down at her. “But I know what kind of hell you’ve gone through.” He gently touched the dark circles beneath her eyes. “When did you sleep last?”
“Probably about the same time you did,” she said impatiently. “And you can’t wait to get back out there and go hunting with Jock again. Do you think I’m going to leave Cara? She’s never been more vulnerable in her life.”
“I beg to differ.” Kaskov was walking down the corridor toward them. “Cara doesn’t impress me as being that fragile at the moment.” He glanced at Eve. “Neither do you, but you appear to be very tired and stressed.” His gaze shifted to Joe. “Why don’t you take her away from here and stay with her until she’s better?”
“Go to hell,” Joe said coldly.
“That’s no doubt my eventual destiny, but I don’t appreciate your giving me orders.” His tone was deadly soft. “But I’ll forgive you since the suggestion that I gave you was not mine but Cara’s.” He turned to Eve. “I received a call from Cara an hour ago on my number routed through Moscow. Naturally, I picked up since it was only five in the morning, and I was concerned.”
Eve’s gaze flew to the door to Cara’s room. “I returned her phone to her the moment that we got her settled. But why would she call you?”
“I’m about to go in and find out. But she gave me orders to make certain that you and Quinn were doing well and resting before I entered her presence.”
“Orders? You?” Joe echoed skeptically.
“I admit I was a bit surprised,” Kaskov said. “And intrigued.” He turned back to Eve. “But I believe she really meant that she wanted me to be sure that I was keeping you both safe while she bothered with talking to me.” He gestured to Nikolai, who was standing near the elevator. “So Nikolai has taken over guarding her hospital room so that you’ll be free to get some rest. I think you can trust him.”
“No,” she said succinctly. “He belongs to you. He’s your man and your man alone.”
“True. And he has my orders that no one is to come near Cara.” He said to Joe, “Didn’t I do everything possible to help you in the canyon last night?”
Joe nodded slowly. “I could have used a few more prisoners to interrogate. You were a little too efficient.”
“Well, you can’t have it all ways. I was annoyed that I’d not been able to get to Cara sooner. And several of them escaped before we even got there. Your fault, not mine. But we still have a few left. Did you find out anything from the ones you captured?”
“Not yet.”
“Then give it up and rest for a few hours. You probably won’t lose anything. No doubt Gavin will still be working on it now that he knows Cara is safe. But we all realize what drives him.” He sighed as he studied their faces. “Or go and stand guard over Cara and have her waste her energy arguing when she only wanted a few minutes to talk to me. Why should I care?”
But he had cared enough to send those men to the mountain to try to help Joe, Eve thought. And they would never have found Cara if he hadn’t involved them in the search. She was still furiously angry that it had been his initial fault that Cara had been taken, but she couldn’t deny he’d done everything he could to get her back. “Joe?”
“Four hours.” Joe was gazing at Kaskov. “She’ll be safe with him. And you need the rest. I promise I’ll have you back here before the doctors give her permission to leave.”
She felt a flash of instant rejection followed immediately by frustration as she looked at Joe. She wasn’t the only one exhausted. Joe had been climbing all over that damn mountain for two days. “Four hours.” She turned and started down the hall. “I need to call Michael and let you talk to him. He was worried about you and Cara when I phoned him last night. So you stay with me, Joe. Got it?”
“I really need to go back to—” Then he shrugged as she gave him a steady look. “Got it. Four hours.” He glanced at Kaskov. “But I need to know what Cara wanted with you. I’m not going to be left in the dark.”
“That’s entirely up to Cara. You’ll have to ask her. If you’ll recall, I’m the outsider in your cozy family picture.” He turned and headed toward Cara’s room. “For some reason no one wants to let me come closer than the fringes. Imagine that…”
* * *
“It took you long enough.” Cara quickly straightened in the bed as Kaskov walked into her room. As usual, she felt the instinct not to show weakness to her grandfather. In some bizarre way, it was a little like the defensiveness she had felt with Svardak. Strange, when one had been trying to save her and the other to destroy her. “I’ve been waiting.”
“What a pity,” Kaskov said. “You’d have had my presence sooner if you hadn’t acquired two such protective guardians. I had to bother myself with persuading instead of commanding since I knew you’d be upset if I followed my ordinary manner of dealing with obstructions.” He crossed the room to stand by her bed. “And I didn’t wish to upset you since your call completely intimidated me.”
“Stop mocking. This is difficult enough without your making fun of me.”
His gaze was narrowed on her face. “You could wait a day or two. You don’t seem to be in top shape.”
“No, I can’t wait. He won’t wait.” She looked him in the eye. “And I might be in better shape than Svardak is. I don’t know. Maybe not. I probably did everything wrong. I’ve never stabbed anyone before. That means I have to count on his being able to reach out and hurt them.”
“One can’t expect to be an expert at mayhem and murder on your first attempt,” he said sardonically. “You probably did as well as could be expected. Would you like to explain whom you mean by ‘them’?”
“You know. He tried to do it with you. He wants to make me hurt by using the people he thinks will be able to do that.” Her lips twisted. “He was wrong about my being able to hurt you, but he still wouldn’t admit it. But he spelled it out to me just before I stabbed him. He wants to erase me. That means Eve and Joe and Michael. He didn’t mention Jane, but I’m sure that he wouldn’t leave her out. She just hasn’t been on his radar.”
“And did he mention Jock Gavin?” Kaskov asked softly.
She tensed. “No. I was hoping to keep Jock away from him. There was no reason for him to know about Jock. It’s not as if he— There was no reason.”
“Except for the fact that Gavin was the most likely person in your world to appear and draw and quarter Svardak.” He murmured. “A trifle naïve, Cara?”
“Perhaps,” she said wearily. “But I thought if I managed to escape from Svardak, then I might have been able to keep him from knowing about Jock.”
He chuckled. “Truly naïve. Jock’s not going to give up until he kills the son of a bitch in the most painful way possible.”
“I would have found a way to keep Jock out of it.” She met his eyes. “Believe me.”
He studied her face. “I do believe you.” He shrugged. “I might not have believed you six months ago, but something has definitely changed. I thought that had possibly occurred when I saw you on that Skype. You were … explosive.”
“I wonder why? Just because my life had been torn to pieces by a monster who you’d just told me had killed not one but four innocent women?” Her smile was bittersweet. “You might say it was a game-changer, Kaskov. I’d told Jock that I was all grown-up, but that was my diploma. But you k
now about diplomas, don’t you? You received yours in that labor camp.”
“How clever of you to pinpoint the exact time and place of my coming of age.” He tilted his head. “And I assume that mention was intentional?”
“Yes, that’s where this all started. I have to get you to listen to me, and I figured that might be something to build on.”
“I’m listening. That’s why I’m here. But you mustn’t bore me, Cara.”
“Perish the thought. I realize that my only entertainment value for you is connected to the violin.”
“Not ‘only.’ You’ve furnished me with a good deal of excitement during these last years. You seem to have the facility to draw a whirlpool of interesting people and situations around you.”
She looked at him in disbelief. “You’re incredible. I’m the lightning rod that caused the bolts to strike?”
“No, I caused them to strike. Fate just made you the most attractive target.”
“Fate? You’re my grandfather, my blood, don’t blame it on fate, Kaskov. All of this is your responsibility.” Her hands clenched on the sheets. “You made your choices. A terrible thing happened to you, and you let it twist you into the man you’ve become. I don’t know what else happened to you on that road, and I won’t ask you. But when you killed Svardak’s family, it started the dominos falling all around you.” Her eyes were suddenly blazing. “Including those poor, innocent women who would never have died if they hadn’t been caught up in this ugliness.” Her voice was shaking. “It was wrong, Kaskov. Svardak was hideous and a demon. But you were wrong, and you have to help me keep him from doing any more damage.”
“Oh, do I?” His face was without expression. “I believe you’re overstepping the bounds of our relationship, Cara. I don’t take orders from anyone, certainly not from a child.”
“No, we’re back to my entertainment value again. But I’m no longer a child. And it’s to your advantage to help me because that way you won’t run the risk of losing the one thing that you find worthwhile in that relationship.”
The Bullet Page 15