by MK Schiller
Then darkness fell.
I heard him. Cal’s deep voice, sexy and soothing at the same time, spoke quietly, barely louder than a whisper. His slow Southern twang with the hint of gravel broke through my clouded mind like sunshine. He was reading to me. After a while, I recognized the text as Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men. It was close to the end. Had he read the whole book? Then I heard him shuffle closer to me. I felt his warm breath against my ear. I wanted to turn toward him, but my body betrayed me. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty, I know you’re not a fan, but that’s exactly why I’m reading it. You’re so stubborn that I wouldn’t put it past you to wake up and tell me to stop.” The next sentence he said slower, each word dripping with anguish, “Please wake up, baby. Please fight.”
Then darkness fell.
I heard him again, but someone else’s voice, too. “I can’t believe this, son. I feel so guilty for doubting you. For what this girl’s been through.”
“It’s okay, Momma. It wouldn’t have turned out any different if you had believed me. I’m just glad I can tell you now.”
It was Cal and his mother?
“What can we do?” Mandy?
“The doctors say she might be able to hear us. I’ve been reading to her and talking to her. They say it can help. Why don’t you sing to her, Mandy? She’d like that.”
I heard the riff of a guitar. Mandy was playing the guitar?
Then the familiar lyrics of a song. I tried to place it, but it wasn’t until Cal joined her that I could. It was “Who Says You Can’t Go Home.”
Mandy stopped suddenly. “Cal, don’t sing with me. You’re no Bon Jovi.”
“What? It’s a duet, and besides, you’re no Jennifer Nettles either.”
I wanted to laugh at their amusing sibling banter, but no sounds formed. “I’m closer than you. Besides, you know you’re tone deaf. Do you want this girl to wake up with a headache?”
“As long as she wakes up,” he said in a quiet, sad voice.
“She will.”
“Mandy, I’m a good man, right? God wouldn’t let me find her again only to take her away from me, would he? I am the reason she’s here.”
“You’re not, Cal. He’s the reason. And I don’t know what God’s plans are for our Sylvie, but I do know that my big brother is the best kind of man there is.”
I tried my hardest to fight the darkness this time. I wanted to see him. To touch him. I felt my eyes flutter awake. He was hovering above me, bloodshot eyes and a few days’ worth of stubble on his face. The relieved, hopeful smile he gave me broke my heart. “Baby, don’t try to talk. Mandy, get the nurse.” I saw long auburn spirals and heard the click of heels as she ran out of the room. She was grown up.
He stared at me, a tear forming at the corner of his eye. I wanted to wipe it away, but he clutched one of my hands, and the other wouldn’t move.
Then darkness fell.
I woke up, more alert this time. It was dark in the room except for the dim lighting that came from the hallway. My gaze searched for him until I saw his sleeping form on the chair beside me. I blinked my eyes until he came into focus. His strong jaw covered in stubble and wrinkled shirt did nothing to detract from his striking good looks. His sandy blond hair, longer than I remembered, flopped seductively against the chiseled planes of his face. He was an incredibly handsome man. I wouldn’t think twice of describing him as beautiful, although his masculine conscious wouldn’t have appreciated the description. He shifted uncomfortably in the chair. His long legs stretched out so far I feared he might fall. The seating definitely wasn’t the right fit for his tall frame.
He must have sensed I was awake because he opened his eyes. They looked blue tonight, but bloodshot and tired. He let out a long, relieved sigh that quickly turned into a happy grin. “Hi, gorgeous girl, how was your nap?”
“Are you all right?” I didn’t even recognize my own voice. It sounded strained and harsh, as if I’d smoked a million cigarettes.
He chuckled, but his smile looked forced. “You would ask me that before I could ask you. I’m just fine. How are you feeling, sweetheart?”
I thought about it for a moment. My body felt stiff, like lifting a limb would require major effort, and my face felt tight for some reason, but other than that, I felt good. “I think I’m fine.” I tried to shift, but my body wouldn’t let me move. “What…what’s happened?”
“Don’t try to move. You’ve been in a coma. It was from head trauma.” He winced, grasping my hand as if the explanation was difficult for him. “He knocked you into an iron table. I couldn’t stop it.”
“How long?”
“Almost two weeks.”
Two weeks? How was that possible?
“I’m going to get you some water.” He held a cup with a straw out to me. I took a sip, but it burned a little going down. He set the cup down, stroking my hair. “They had a tube in your throat. It’s going to hurt for a little while.”
The last thing I remember was Joe being shot. I gasped, “Joe?”
“He’s okay. He had to have surgery, but he recuperated just fine. He was discharged already. He left to file all the paperwork, but I called him earlier to tell him you were awake.”
I took a deep breath, relieved that Joe wasn’t injured or worse. “Did he say anything?’
Cal smirked. “Yeah, he said if I fuck this up with you, he’ll be waiting.” My mouth dropped open, but Cal put me at ease by brushing his fingers against my cheek. “It’s okay, baby. We have an understanding. I shook his hand before he left. I’ll always be indebted to him.”
“Why?”
“Because he took care of you when I couldn’t.”
I tried to wrap my head around the idea of Cal and Joe being friends, or even friendly, but it was difficult to grasp. “What I had with him was different than what I feel for you.”
“I know that. You don’t have to justify it to me. I never thought I’d say this, but in the end, I’m glad you had both of us.”
Then a cold dread filled me. “Eddie?”
“He’s dead. Joe says all indications are you’re safe.”
A heavy weight had finally been lifted off my chest. I didn’t have to worry anymore about myself or Cal. It was the most amazing gift I could have received. “How did he die?”
“I shot him.”
I stared up at the ceiling, feeling the weight of his words against the freedom of their meaning.
“Tell me what you’re thinking, sweetheart. I need to know.”
“I’m relieved he’d dead.”
“My only regret is I didn’t do it ten years ago.”
“No regrets, Cal. Just relief.”
He took my hand and kissed it. “Right.”
“We don’t have to hide anymore.”
“No, we don’t. I can’t wait to scream how much I love you to anyone who’ll listen.”
I laughed, but it came out a choked, raspy sound. “Don’t do it too much, Tex. They’ll think you’re crazy.”
I saw the guilt in his eyes, but I had no idea how to take it away so I asked another question. “Are Mandy and your mom here?”
“Yes, I called them. I figured since there was no danger, they could know. I hope that’s okay. I really needed their support.”
“Of course. I want to see them. Where are they?” I struggled to get up.
“Easy, Sylvie. You’re still recovering. They’re at my place. It’s very late, and visiting hours are over, but they’ll be back in the morning.”
“Then why are you here?”
He was thoughtful for a moment. I reached out and tousled his sandy blond hair and then trailed my fingers down the stubble on his cheek, grateful my muscles were finally working. He leaned into my hand as if it was a great source of comfort. “Your nurse happens to be a friend of mine, and she convinced the staff to look the other way. I’ve been staying here.”
“The whole time?”
“Pretty much. Momma said I should go home and clean up for you,
but I couldn’t stand the thought of you waking up all alone.”
Just then, a pretty blond woman appeared next to me. I hadn’t seen her come in.
“Our patient is awake,” she said cheerfully.
“Sylvie, this is Molly,” Cal introduced.
Molly? This was awkward and definitely not the impression I wanted to make with Cal’s ex. She smiled at me sweetly, though, and it put me at ease. “I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. You’re a very lucky girl.”
I didn’t think she was just talking about me being alive, but I had no response so I just nodded. She helped me to sit up and took my blood pressure. Cal held up a cup of water with a straw so I could drink. It tasted rough going down my throat. But I was so thirsty, I couldn’t stop. Then I choked on it.
He rubbed my back in slow circles. “Little sips.”
“I have to go to the bathroom.”
Molly helped me up. Cal took one of my arms while she took the other. It was a big production since my legs didn’t want to put in much effort, and there were a ton of machines connected to me. Finally, Cal just lifted me and carried me in there, but I managed to shoo him away before I performed the act. He was already seeing me at my worst. I really didn’t want him in the audience while I peed. Molly helped me, which wasn’t much better, but she was very professional about it.
“Are y’all done in there?” Cal asked as soon as the toilet flushed.
“Yes,” Molly answered. She helped me to the sink as Cal rushed in. He sat on the small vanity, practically washing my hands for me and then drying them.
Before I could protest, he swept me up again, carrying me out. I thought it was a bit odd, but right now, I wasn’t about to complain.
Molly straightened the sheets around me. “Your doctor and the plastic surgeon will be in tomorrow.”
“Plastic surgeon?” I asked.
She looked between Cal and I. Cal shook his head at her in frustration. Her expression became contrite. “I’m sorry. I thought she knew.”
“Can you bring a mirror, Molly?”
She walked out quickly.
“Baby, just relax. It looks worse than it is. This plastic surgeon is brilliant from what I hear, and he thinks he can make it so you only have a minor scar.”
I suddenly got why he’d been so vigilant with the bathroom. He was covering the mirror so I wouldn’t see myself. It must be really bad.
Molly came back with a handheld mirror. “I’m going to go now. I’ll be in a little later to check on you, Sylvie. I’m so glad you’re okay…and that he found you.”
After she left, I turned to Cal. “Your ex-girlfriend is my nurse?”
“Yeah, I know. I told her who you were. Once she found out you weren’t some girl I had just met, she apologized. She’s taking really good care of you. I’ve been watching.”
“Will you lie down beside me?”
He looked unsure. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t,” I insisted, trying to shift so he could come on to the bed. Parts of me seemed to work just fine, but other areas like my hips would not cooperate.
“Stop,” he said gently.
“Tex, I want you next to me.”
He stood up and placed his muscular arms under my body. “I’m going to lift and move you over, but you have to tell me if it hurts.”
I nodded, grateful he wasn’t arguing. He shifted me over easily and climbed into the bed next to me. He placed his arms around me carefully. I snuggled into him, grateful to feel his heartbeat again. It was in his arms that I felt the safest and the strongest, too.
He moved his mouth against my ear, and at first I only felt the heated breath against my skin, making it tingle, until he started whispering in that pained, tormented voice that made my heart melt. “I was so afraid of losing you again. It would have been all my fault. I put you in danger not once, but twice. I knew Eddie. He used me to get to you.”
This sounded familiar to me. Eddie had said as much when he took me from the hotel room. I looked up at Caleb, this man who loved me so much he was willing to sacrifice everything. I smiled reassuringly and placed my hand over his heart.
He covered my hand with his. “I almost killed you. I will never forgive myself.”
“Cal, you didn’t almost kill me. You saved me in every way a person can be saved. You gave me courage and strength when I needed it most. You were a friend when I had no one. You became my family and made me yours. I fell in love with you the day I kissed you and you slept on my floor. I have loved you since that day. You weren’t my reason for almost dying. You are my reason for fighting.”
He buried his head into my neck, and I knew he didn’t want me to see the tears there. I let him release his pent-up emotion. I loved him so much, and his pain was mine to bear, so I started crying too, which made him stop. He wiped my tears. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t do this, Tex. We’ve lived with regret for so long.”
“You’re absolutely right. I never thought of us as lucky, but that’s exactly what we are. We found each other not once, but twice. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too. Now, tell me about my face.”
He looked up with a surprised expression.
“Did you think I forgot?”
“I was hoping.” His expression was grim as he took the mirror from the nightstand where he’d placed it. “Let me just preface this by saying that I think you are beautiful either way. And on the bright side, you’re gonna have one badass scar.” Cal had a strange sense of humor, but I appreciated it. He was always able to get me to laugh, even in my present state. “No one is going to mess with you after this. Are you ready?”
I nodded, and he held up the mirror to me.
I wasn’t a vain person, but I swear if he wasn’t holding the mirror, I would have thrown it across the room. I remember the pain when Eddie had cut my face open. He’d stuck his finger inside the wound, widening it, making comments about how he needed me to bleed to make up for my sins. I forced my eyes to stay open, but it was difficult to stare at the strange reflection that greeted me. The side of my face was stitched neatly, but it was a very long line that covered the area below my eye down to my chin. I couldn’t imagine that, even with surgery, there wouldn’t be a scar. My face was pale, sunken in, and lifeless. My eyes were droopy with black circles underneath them. I couldn’t imagine Cal thought I was beautiful, but I knew he was speaking the truth when he said it.
“Put it down, please.”
He moved the mirror away immediately, placing it back on the nightstand. “Sweetheart, it doesn’t detract from your beauty.”
“I look like Frankenstein.”
“You don’t have any bolts in your neck.”
I buried my face in his chest. He stroked my hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so grateful you’re here with me that it’s hard for me to come up with the right words to comfort you about this.”
“Plastic surgery sounds expensive. I don’t have any insurance.”
“I’m taking care of it.”
“Cal, I can’t let you do that. Can you even afford it?” I was surprised to hear myself yelling. It was such a drastic change from the quiet tones we were speaking in.
He smiled. “Not really, but my Citibank and Amex card can. Plus, Momma’s going to help and the hospital is reducing the cost.”
“Cal—”
“Listen, Sylvie, I don’t care either way. I think you’re perfection, no matter what. But I don’t want you to be reminded of him every time you look in the mirror. I don’t want to have to answer questions about these scars. I won’t discuss it any further.”
“’Kay.”
He held me closer, kissing my head, whispering reassurances.
“Thank you.”
“I’m your Huckleberry.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Hey, I needed to tell you something else.”
“What’s that?”
“Joe said your new name is ready.
You can use it if you want, although you don’t need to. I was wondering if you picked that name so I would find you again.”
I thought about it for a second, realizing in all the rush, I’d never told him. “It might have been subconscious.”
“Well, I love it.” He took my hand in his, shaking it slightly, “It’s nice to meet you, Lenore Alan. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Caleb Tanner, the man who plans to love you for the rest of his life.”
I smiled at the sound of that. It was the most comforting thing he could have said. “So, you want me to keep it?”
“Like I said before, I love the girl, not the name. I don’t care what you choose, at least not your first name. It’s your last name I’m interested in.”
“My last name?”
“I want it to match mine.”
I backed away from him so I could study his face. He was smiling hopefully. “Caleb James Tanner, are you proposing to me?”
“Not yet, but I will. I’m going to do it right, when you’re healthy, and I can kneel before your feet and present you with a rock that’s worthy of gracing your hand.”
“I don’t need a rock. Ask me.” I could see the relief in his eyes because we both knew two weeks ago I wouldn’t have been able to say this, but everything was different now.
“Patience, Sylvie.”
“Then I’ll ask you.”
“Hell no. I’m kind of old-fashioned about these things. I will ask you when the time is right, and when I do, it will be the best proposal you ever had. Will you let me ask you the right way?”
“As long as you don’t make me wait two years,” I replied with a pout.
He chuckled. “I promise I won’t.”
“’Kay.”
“Why don’t you go to sleep, sweetheart.”
“I’ve been asleep for two weeks.”
“Yes, but you’re tired.” He rubbed my arm. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
It seemed ridiculous that a conversation and a trip to the bathroom could be so exhausting, but I was ready to sleep again. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against his chest. “Thank you for coming,” I murmured.