by Ali Parker
Sometimes, being independent wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. I wanted to call a boyfriend or husband and ask for help. I thought about calling Damion but quickly changed my mind. He wouldn’t want to be bothered with me.
I got out and dug around in the truck bed. I had a tire, but I couldn’t find a tire iron or my jack. “Shit!” I kicked the flat tire. “Are you serious?”
I raised my fist to the sky and shouted with frustration. With nothing else to do, I got back in the truck, leaning my forehead against the wheel. I could call Damion. I knew he would come out and help me, but I wasn’t even all that sure he would know how to change a tire. I thought about calling Sadie and just leaving my truck on the side of the road overnight.
I was so tired. I just wanted to go home and sleep. A ten-mile walk was not in the cards. I didn’t have it in me. I reached for my phone, ready to call Sadie and admit defeat. She would pick me up and cart me back out to the truck tomorrow after I had a chance to hunt down what I needed to change the damn tire.
Headlights flashed in my side mirror. My head popped up. I looked in the side mirror and was blinded. I turned my head, putting up my hand to block the glare. I could tell it was a pickup truck. The truck pulled to a stop behind me. I breathed a sigh of relief. That was the good thing about being in a small town. It was likely someone I knew, someone who would lend a helping hand.
I opened the door and hopped out. The driver turned off the lights and hopped out of the truck. I recognized the truck before I recognized the man.
“Shit,” I muttered under my breath.
“I guess you didn’t want to let me know you were back in town,” Damion’s rich, smooth voice filled the darkness.
I could tell he was joking. It was meant to be a joke, but it didn’t feel like a joke. He was upset. I was upset. It wasn’t quite the salvation I was looking for. My hope for a quick tire change and getting on my way was not going to happen. No, because obviously I hadn’t had a long enough day. I got to have a conversation that we had been putting off for almost a month.
Oh joy.
Chapter 29
Damion
I had seen the truck on the side of the road and was already going to stop. It was what people did out in the country. Back in New York, I would have been less inclined to stop on the side of a dark road to offer help to a complete stranger, but not in Montana. I likely knew the person.
When I got close enough to see it was Alex, I was both thrilled and sad. She hadn’t even bothered to let me know she was back in town. Then again, she owed me nothing. Why would she tell me she was back? It still hurt a little to know she hadn’t bothered to say hi. I pushed it aside. My own sore ego didn’t matter. She needed help.
“Flat?” I asked the obvious, feeling a little dumb for asking such a dumb question.
“Yes. Flat.”
“Do you need help changing it?” I asked.
“No, I don’t need any help,” she snapped.
It was like I was meeting her for the first time. Our first meeting—hell, our first several meetings—had gone something like this. She talked to me with disdain and I got pissed. I wasn’t going to get pissed. I wasn’t going to go down that road again. I looked at her, drinking in the sight of her after not seeing her for so long. The soft light coming from the fog lights on my grandpa’s truck gave me very little to see her with. I had killed the lights, knowing I was blinding her.
I looked at the flat, then her. “Are you sure I can’t help you out here?”
“I don’t have a tire iron or a jack,” she said. “If you have a tire iron and jack I could use, I’d be grateful.”
I could hear the exhaustion in her voice. “Ah, let me see if there’s one of each in his truck. I’m sure there is. My grandfather was always prepared for anything.”
“You’re driving Oliver’s truck now?” she asked.
The way she asked it sounded more like an accusation than a question. I had struggled with the idea of driving it, but I didn’t want it to sit and not start. I had taken it for a few short trips. I almost felt like I was closer to him, sitting in his driver’s seat, listening to the radio station he had chosen. It made me feel very nostalgic, and quite frankly, it was none of her business. I didn’t owe her an explanation.
“Yes. Today. Not always. If it sits too long, it’s not going to start.” Despite telling myself I didn’t owe her an explanation, it was exactly what I gave her. I was weak.
There was a weird vibe between us. It was almost like we had never met or seen each other naked. It was very cold. Very sterile and lacking that warmth I had come to expect from her. “I see,” she said. “Is Oliver in the truck?”
“No. I just dropped him off for a sleepover. It’s his first sleepover ever. I’m kind of a nervous wreck about it.”
“Wow. That’s a big deal.”
We both stood without speaking. The awkward tension was only getting worse. I could see how uncomfortable she was. I felt it too.
“All right, let me look for a tire iron and jack.”
“Thanks.”
I opened the door on the truck and fished around in the backseat of the extended cab. I found the tire iron along with the jack and pulled it out. She was still standing at the back of her truck, as if she was afraid to get too close.
“Got it,” I announced, waving them in the air.
“Great,” she said, reaching for them.
I scowled. “No way,” I said, pulling both away from her.
“I can change my own tire,” she said defiantly, her brow furrowed.
“Alex, I have no doubt in my mind you can change your tire, but come on, let me do this. I can’t have you totally emasculate me. What would it look like if someone drove by? I’d never be able to show my face in town again. This doesn’t make you weak. Please, let me help you.”
That got a small laugh from her. “Fine.”
“Thank you,” I said. I flipped on the headlights, illuminating the area.
“You’re welcome, for changing my tire,” she said with a laugh. “I think that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve said.”
“So, how long have you been back?” I asked, getting to my knees to start jacking up her truck and loosening the lug nuts.
“I’m not technically back. I mean, I am, but I didn’t make it home. I’ve been driving all day. I just got into town.”
That made me feel better. At least she hadn’t been back and going out of her way to ignore me. “How was Wyoming?” I asked.
She groaned. “Exhausting. I don’t think I have worked that hard in all my life.”
I chuckled. “That must have been pretty serious. You are one of the hardest working people I know.”
“It was a big farm. The biggest farm I’ve ever worked. It was by far my biggest challenge yet.”
“I bet you kicked ass, though,” I told her.
I looked up to see her grin. “Damn straight.”
“Are you going back?” I asked without looking at her.
“I don’t know.”
It wasn’t exactly the answer I was hoping for. “Does he want you back?”
“I don’t know. I mean, yes, but it’s not quite that cut and dry.”
I nodded, working on the tire. She was being evasive. I realized she wasn’t interested in discussing it with me. The only reason we were talking at all was because she had no other option. I kept working, wanting to get finished with the job and extract myself from the very awkward situation.
I got the tire off and quickly put the new one on. “Oliver missed you,” I told her and immediately regretted it.
I wasn’t trying to make her feel guilty. I didn’t want to use my son as a weapon.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” she said in a quiet voice.
“You don’t owe me anything,” I said.
“You didn’t call me either,” she went on.
I looked up, finding her staring down at me. “No, I didn’t. I didn’t think you would want
me to.”
She shrugged. “You could have.”
I didn’t know how to answer that. I focused on getting the tire put back on. The sooner I got it done, the quicker we could go our separate ways. I had been looking forward to the day she came back. I wasn’t sure what I had thought was going to happen when she did come back. I had let myself believe she would come back, we’d kiss and make up, and life would be great.
I couldn’t explain why I had let myself feel like that. She had made herself very clear about what she was looking for—which was nothing.
I finished tightening the last lug nut, removed the jack, and got to my feet. “All done,” I told her.
“Thank you. That was fast, much faster than I would have been able to do it.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Can I pay you?” she asked, her voice soft.
“Alex, no. Come on, give me some credit. I can change a tire for a friend. We are friends, right?”
She offered a small smile. “Yes, I’d like to be friends.”
“Good. Now, don’t take this the wrong way, but you look beat.”
She laughed, running a hand through her hair. “I am so beat. I don’t understand why driving wipes a person out. I have been sitting on my butt forever. I shouldn’t be tired.”
“Trust me, I know exactly what you’re feeling. I did drive across the country recently.”
She grinned. “I can’t believe Oliver hung in there. That had to have been brutal.”
“He did really well. Hell, I think he handled it much better than I did. I was bored out of my mind.”
I could feel the tension melting away. “I totally get what you mean. I had way too much time with myself.”
I nodded. “Exactly. Your own company can get tiresome.”
“I don’t understand how truckers can do what they do,” she said, shaking her head. “I mean, all day. All day and all night being in the same cooped-up space would make me crazy.”
I smiled. “Me too. I know you’re tired and you are probably anxious to get home. I’ll see you around.”
“What are you doing with your free night off?” she asked.
I wasn’t sure what she was asking. I would have loved to invite her over, but I could still sense the tension between us. I had to tread carefully if I wanted to maintain the friendship she claimed to want. “I plan on going home and watching TV on my iPad.”
“Do you think he’ll be okay at his friend’s house?”
“I was worried at first, but he was thrilled to be going. They had big plans to watch the new Toy Story movie and eat lots of junk food. I’ll keep my phone by me just in case.”
“Well, I’ll let you get to your movie watching. Thank you again for the tire change. This is one of the downfalls of living in a rural area. You can’t just call a tow truck.”
I laughed. “Nope. You’re at the mercy of your own skillset and the good nature of your neighbors.”
“Well, thank you for coming to my rescue. You’re my hero.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll see you around.”
I walked away. It was one of the hardest things I had done. I so wanted to reach for her and pull her into my arms. I wanted to kiss her and tell her how much I missed her. I wanted to tell her I was sorry for pushing her too fast. I said none of those things. Instead, I got in the truck and watched her drive away. I put the truck in drive and headed for home.
The house was going to feel even emptier with Oliver gone for the night. Every passing day on the farm, it felt like the loneliness was closing in. I had tried to fight it, but the pull to go back to New York was strong. I kept telling myself if I gave it time, made some friends, things would be better.
I could be strong. I could push through the loneliness. My grandfather had done it for a huge part of his life. I could do it. I had Oliver, and maybe one day, God willing, I would find a woman that wanted to be with me.
I walked into the empty house, hanging the keys to the truck on the hook by the door. I popped one of the TV dinners I had picked up at the store into the oven and headed for my bedroom. My grandfather’s bedroom.
I had finally managed to get his things boxed up. I took over his bedroom, which was still a little awkward. I did it because I needed to make the house my home. Sleeping in the spare bedroom made me feel like I was staying at the house—not living at the house.
If I was going to make a real go at staying on the farm, I had to give it my all. I stripped out of the jeans and T-shirt that had become my usual attire and pulled on a pair of sweats, choosing to go shirtless. It wasn’t like I had anyone to hide from or impress. I was all alone.
Maybe I’d get a dog. Oliver was going to have many more sleepovers, and if I didn’t want to be all alone, I was going to need a companion of some sort. If I couldn’t get myself the two-legged variety, I would have to settle for the four-legged kind.
Oliver would be thrilled to get a dog.
Chapter 30
Alex
I walked into the restaurant after sleeping off the road weariness. I was still dragging ass a little, but I felt a lot better than I had when I had fallen into bed the night before.
My eyes scanned the tables, passing over the usual coffee crowd comprised of about six of the old timers from the area. They loved to sit, gossip, and nurse their coffees well into the lunch hour.
I saw Sadie sitting at a table and quickly made my way to her table. She looked up and saw me. She squealed and jumped up. I couldn’t stop my smile. We both threw our arms around each other.
“Oh my god!” she said. “I can’t believe it’s been a month. You can’t do that again.”
“I’m sorry. It’s good to see you.”
We both took our seats. “Tell me you won’t go back there again.”
I cringed. “I don’t know if I will.”
“What? What does that mean?”
Before I got the chance to answer, the waitress came by. We ordered coffee and big breakfasts. Both of us were splurging.
“Wayne offered me his farm,” I told her.
She wrinkled her nose. “What do you mean he offered his farm to you? How does that even happen?”
“Wayne is a sweet, sweet man. He’s alone. His wife died a few years back and he has no children. No family. No one. The farm has been in his family for several generations, but he’s the last of the line. The poor guy has one of the biggest farms I have ever worked on.”
“How does that make him a poor guy?”
“Because he worked so hard to keep it up,” I said with the same sadness I felt when I had left the day before.
“He offered to sell it to you?” she questioned.
I slowly shook my head. “No. Leave it to me. I think he’s given up. He is lonely and misses his wife. He kept talking about getting to see her again.”
She put out her lower lip. “That’s so sad.”
“It really is. He’s such a nice guy.”
“I’m sorry. You keep finding the old, sick, and dying men.”
I laughed. “You’re right. I’m going to start taking this personal if these guys keep dying on me.”
“You’re like an angel. You meet these men at the end of their lives and bring a little sunshine into them.”
“Angel of death,” I growled.
“What about your other man, the one that isn’t on the verge of pushing up daisies?”
I laughed. “What man would that be?”
“The man that rocked your world in the barn. Don’t tell me you forgot about that.”
I sighed. “I didn’t forget. I wish I could. I didn’t talk to him the whole time I was gone. He never called, texted, nothing.”
“And you didn’t either.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Alex, why not?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I was so busy, and he didn’t reach out to me. I figured he was done with me. We had our thing and he was over it.”
“So, that’s why you�
��re considering the farm,” she said with a smile.
“What? I’m not considering the farm.”
“Yes, you are, and you’d be crazy not to. You keep talking about how you’re saving money to buy your own farm. This man is offering to give you a farm. You could use that savings you’re building up to fix up the farm.”
She was reading my mind. “I could.”
“As much as I hate the idea of you leaving me, leaving Montana, that farm sounds like an amazing opportunity. I don’t mean this to sound crude, but is Wayne dying soon?”
“Sadie!” I said, horrified.
“I mean, is he sick? Is this farm going to be up for grabs in the coming weeks?”
I shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Then take a few days and mull it over. Don’t tell him no until you really think about it. If he offered it to you, it’s because he likes you. He respects you and trusts you. That’s a big deal. Do you really want to break the old man’s heart by rejecting his offer?”
“No, I don’t, but it is such an extravagant gift. We were strangers a month ago. People will think I’m a money-grubber after his farm, his land.”
She waved a hand. “Who cares what anyone else thinks? It’s between you and Wayne. The opinions of others don’t matter. I know you’re a good person. Obviously, Wayne knows you’re a good person.”
I frowned at her. “Why are you encouraging me to take this farm?” I asked. I knew her too well. Something was off. She was up to something.
She grinned. “Why are you turning down something that is an amazing offer?”
“Because,” I argued. “You know why.”
She shook her head. “Nope. I don’t. I know what you said, but that isn’t the whole truth. What else is keeping you here?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Okay, let’s try this a different way. If Wayne’s offer would have come in, say two months ago, would you be considering it?”
“I don’t know,” I said again. “Two months ago, I was working for Oliver.”