by Ali Parker
“Ah, those things never end well,” he said.
“Nope, they don’t, but again, I don’t regret what it was. It taught me a lot.”
“You’re a strong woman, Alex. I get it now. I understand your hesitance to get close to people.”
I didn’t like being psychoanalyzed, but everyone always came to the same conclusion. The minute they heard about my background, they pitied me. I wasn’t to be pitied. I wasn’t living a fucked-up life because of a shitty upbringing. I felt normal. I was well adjusted and doing just fine. I could admit I had some commitment issues, but that was normal as far as I was concerned.
“I’m not going to deny it,” I told him, figuring there was no point in trying to convince him otherwise.
“I get it. After everything, I’m a little hesitant to get in deep with anyone.”
I knew I shouldn’t, but I did it anyway. “Can I ask about Oliver’s mom? Were you married?”
“What would you like to know? And yes, we were married.”
“Where is she?” I blurted out, lacking all sense of decorum and grace.
“She died.”
“I’m sorry.”
“She died in childbirth,” he said. “She never got to meet Oliver. It’s a miracle he survived.”
My heart felt like it was being squeezed. I couldn’t imagine the pain. “I’m so sorry. That’s terrible.”
He slowly nodded. “It was terrible. It was absolutely some of the worst days in my life. It took a lot for me to pull my shit together. Oliver was depending on me. Talk about a fish out of water. I was absolutely clueless. Ann and I had just kind of assumed she would be doing the majority of the heavy lifting. I hadn’t bothered to learn much of anything about taking care of a baby. I was counting on her to show me.”
I couldn’t begin to imagine what he had gone through. “You learned.”
“Trial by fire. Poor Oliver was a bit of a guinea pig. I can’t tell you how many times he was given a cold bottle or had his diaper put on too loose or too tight. I made so many mistakes in those early months. I was convinced I would end up killing the kid. It was my grandfather who talked me off the ledge several times. He didn’t necessarily give me advice about child-rearing, but just reminded me I could do it.”
“That sounds like Oliver. I’m glad you had him.”
“So am I. When Ann died, he assumed I would come home. I don’t know if I did it out of spite, but I refused. I refused to come home, knowing I damn well needed the help and support. I had to prove something to him. I had to prove it to myself. I hate that I was so damn stubborn. He only ever wanted to help me, and I shot him down.”
“I think all kids go through that independent phase,” I told him. “You are not the first one to want to do for himself. You’re strong-willed and I imagine he was proud that you were willing to fight to stand on your own two feet.”
“I agree with you on that,” he said with a laugh.
“I guess that explains your overprotectiveness of Oliver,” I said.
He nodded. “I suppose that’s true. I don’t mean to hover over him, but when I think about what Ann sacrificed to bring him into this world, I have to. I would never be able to live with myself if he was seriously hurt or worse. I learned the hard way that people are not guaranteed long lives. I intend on that kid outliving me, and if I have to hover to make sure that happens, then so be it.”
“I won’t give you a hard time about it anymore,” I told him.
He laughed. “Liar.”
“I’ll try not to give you a hard time,” I said with a laugh.
We meandered along a trail that I knew would lead to an open meadow. I had taken Oliver’s horse out here on several occasions. It was very peaceful, and the horses loved grazing on the grass.
“I guess we both have some pretty shaky pasts to overcome,” he said after a while.
I nodded in agreement. “I suppose we do. I don’t think either of us is in bad shape though, do you?”
“No, but neither one of us is too anxious to get heavily involved in anything. Am I right?”
He had pushed up his sunglasses and was looking directly at me. He was putting the ball in my court. He was giving me the chance to say I was ready. I wasn’t. I didn’t want to lie and say I was. I wanted to be, but damn if my brain would give me the green light.
“Damion,” I started, wanting to explain things.
“It’s fine, Alex. I’m not trying to pressure you. Thank you for telling me about your past. It helps me understand a little better.”
“But understanding doesn’t necessarily mean accepting,” I said quietly.
“I’m trying,” he answered.
“Thank you.”
We rode in silence for another thirty minutes before he checked his watch. “I need to head back. I’ve got to pick up Oliver.”
“Okay,” I said, sad that our day was over.
I wanted to spend more time with him, see if I couldn’t get my brain to see he was a good guy. I hated being so damn logical all the time. That logical side kept me out of a lot of trouble, but it also prevented me from having a lot of fun. I needed to know he was in town to stay. Once I got that confirmation, I was sure I could make that commitment he was asking for without truly asking.
“I was supposed to be running some new fence on the back pasture,” he said as we headed back to the farm. “Seems you distracted me a bit.”
I laughed. “Oh, really? You’re going to blame this lazy ride on me?”
“Yep. What are you doing tomorrow?”
“Gee, I had some big plans to wash my hair,” I teased. “Maybe get a pedi.”
His deep laughter echoed around us. “I’d like to see that.”
“Me too,” I joked.
“If you’re free, do you want to come and hang out? Help me stretch some new wire?”
“I would like that very much,” I told him, thrilled to be invited to spend the day with him, even if it was to work. I liked working. I liked working with him. Maybe he’d get hot and sweaty and take off his shirt again.
“Good, I’m going to hold you to it.”
I couldn’t stop smiling as we made our way back. Once the horses were watered and wiped down, I headed home. I didn’t want to linger. I knew he had to get Oliver. I wanted to go home and think about our day. It had been nice, and I wanted to reflect on it. I had gone out to his place with the excuse of checking on the horses hoping to find out what Harvey was talking about. It was more about me being bored and lonely and wanting to see him.
He had a way of making my day feel complete. I was hooked on him. If he left, it was going to suck. I was going to feel that sting for a long time.
Chapter 41
Damion
I was looking forward to a day spent with Alex. I had dropped Oliver off at school and come straight home to put on a fresh pot of coffee. I was hoping our day wouldn’t be all work and no play. Yesterday had been good for us. It gave me a chance to see the woman in a new light. I understood her a lot more than I had before. Her hesitation to get involved in a relationship was easier to understand. I hoped she understood a little more about me as well.
It was a big step in what I hoped was the right direction for the both of us. She alone could make me want to stay in Geraldine. With her by my side, I would be willing to put in the long hours on the farm if I could crawl in bed with her at night.
Oliver would love to have her in his life. I could see us spending a lot more time together and maybe even doing some traveling during the summer. I knew I was getting ahead of myself. I knew it and yet, I didn’t stop myself from dreaming of a normal life with a whole family instead of the fractured family I had always known.
I sipped the hot coffee, staring out the window, and smiled when I saw her truck coming down the driveway. I felt that familiar tingle of excitement at the thought of seeing her. I remembered the first few months of dating Ann. It had been that same feeling of warmth and tingles from head to toe. I felt th
at way about Alex. She was the first woman who made me feel tingly all over since Ann.
I turned back to the kitchen, poured her a cup, and carried it out to the porch. I was hoping to get in a little relaxation before we had to get busy on the fence. I wanted to hang out with her and just be near her, like yesterday. It had been so relaxing to just talk to her. It felt good to talk about who we were and why we were who we were. It was like peeling back the layers of protection each of us had.
I took a seat in one of the rocking chairs, putting her coffee on the small table between the two chairs. The truck door opened, and her booted feet stepped out. Then it was legs. Lots and lots of legs as she closed the door behind her. She was smiling as she walked toward the porch. I nearly spilled my coffee at the sight of her. She looked like something out of a porn movie. Was her outfit intentional? Was it meant to tease? Did women really wear that shit?
My cock tingled and jerked, struggling against the jeans. She sauntered up the steps, her legs looking so much longer than I knew them to be in the cutoff shorts she was wearing. The shorts weren’t overly short, but they were sexy as hell. She had on a tight, white tank with the hemline dancing around the low waist of her cutoffs. I could see a hint of skin when she moved. It was a tease. Her outfit was complete with the boots she usually wore. It was the perfect combination of sexy and strong, and all I could think about was grinding my body against hers.
I couldn’t tell if she came to work or to fuck. “Good morning,” I said, my mouth suddenly very dry.
“Good morning,” she said with a smile. Her short hair was left loose, brushing over her shoulders, moving in the slight breeze washing over the area.
“I made coffee,” I said, struggling to form coherent sentences.
“Yummy. I could use a little boost.”
“You don’t look like you need a boost,” I commented.
She softly giggled. “A girl can always use a little infusion of caffeine.”
“You look good,” I told her. “Is that an outfit you normally wear to work on fences?”
She looked down at herself. “It’s an outfit I’ve worn to do a lot of things. Why? Something bothering you about it?”
She knew. She was fucking teasing me. “It’s bothering me all right, but I’ll be okay.”
She grinned, taking the other rocker. “You sure? You look like you’re in pain.”
I nodded. “I’m in something, but I think you know that.”
Her laughter told me she knew exactly what she was doing. I hadn’t taken her for a temptress. I had been wrong. She picked up the coffee and took a sip, crossing one bare leg over the other and leaning back in the chair. I felt incredibly overdressed in my jeans and tee. “It’s going to be a hot one today,” she commented.
“You think so?” I mumbled.
She looked at me. “It’s already damn near eighty.”
“I guess we should get started then,” I said, trying to fight the urge to kiss her. I needed to focus on the work. The fence. She was here to fix the fence. And tease the fuck out of me.
“Do you have the fence stretcher?” she asked.
I nodded. “Picked up a new one last week. I want to open up that land in the back twenty for the horses. It’ll be good weed control and allow the stuff in the closer pasture to grow in before winter.”
“Look at you, sounding like a rancher.”
I laughed. “I try. I have all this land and only about half is being used.”
“I know. It’s something I discussed with Oliver. He didn’t want the extra work. He liked having a buffer, he said.”
I nodded. I couldn’t think of anything else except her in that outfit. I had seen her legs before. I’d seen her naked. I couldn’t explain why the exposed skin was wreaking such havoc on me. I wasn’t going to need a damn hammer to drive nails into the fence boards. I was packing my own steel rod and it was only growing worse the longer I sat around and fantasized about her.
I jumped up, rubbing my cock against my jeans and pulling a grunt from me. “Fuck,” I hissed under my breath.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I’m good. We should get started.” I didn’t mean to sound short, but I had to move, or things were going to get hot and messy.
“Damn, slave driver,” she teased.
I grunted, leaving my cup of coffee on the table and heading for the barn. I took several deep breaths, trying to rein in my greedy dick that was begging for a taste of her sweet pussy. Later, I told myself. I didn’t want her to think I invited her over to help fix the fence just to bang her.
“Do you want to ride the tractor out there or take the horses?” I asked her.
“It isn’t that far. We could walk.”
I pointed to the roll of wire and other tools I had put together. “It isn’t far, but that’s going to be a bitch to carry.”
“We can ride the tractor,” she said once she saw all the gear.
“Thanks for coming over and giving me a hand,” I told her.
She picked up some of the tools and walked out of the barn. “You’re welcome, but don’t think I’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart,” she shouted over her shoulder.
I carried out the heavy roll of wire. “Are you saying you’re charging me for your help?” I asked with a laugh.
“Yep. I’ll expect something in return.”
She was flirting. The little minx knew she was killing me in that outfit and was fucking flirting with me. “You’re playing with fire,” I warned her.
She laughed, passing by me and going back inside the barn. I groaned, reaching down to adjust the erection that refused to relax. I stayed outside, hands on my hips and looking up at the sky. I dragged in several slow, deep breaths before counting to five and exhaling.
“You going to help me or what?” she shouted from the barn.
I shook my head and walked back inside. “You’re in a mood.”
She laughed. “This is me working. I tend to get bossy.”
“But you are not the boss in this situation.”
“You sure about that?” she coyly asked.
I laughed. “Damn, you took some sassy pills today.”
Her soft giggling filled the barn. “I’m in a good mood. It’s been a while since I got to work. I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed working until I stopped doing it.”
“Why aren’t you working?” I asked, suddenly very curious.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I told myself I was going to take a few days off after the Wyoming trip. Then a few days turned into a week.”
“Are you going to be okay?” I asked with concern. “Financially, I mean.”
She smiled. “Yes, dad. I’m going to be okay. I have job offers. I just haven’t taken them up on it.”
“Why not?” I asked.
She looked me in the eyes. “I don’t want to leave.”
“Leave?”
“Leave town. Not right now.”
I nodded my head. She wasn’t saying the words, but I knew what she was saying. She was sticking around to spend time with me. “I see,” I said, staring at her, unable to look away.
“It’s not a big deal,” she said, her tongue darting out to lick her lower lip. “Don’t read too much into it. I’ve been working nonstop for years. This isn’t a thing.”
I smirked. “Then don’t make it a thing.”
There was a standoff. She was looking at me with what appeared to be concern. I was definitely looking at her. I couldn’t look at anything but her.
“Damion, you’re looking at me like you want to eat me. You’re kind of freaking me out.”
Her tone said otherwise. She wasn’t the least bit freaked out. She was turned on. I could smell her arousal. She was having the same thoughts I was. Well, probably not quite the same, but along the same vein of thinking.
“You would be right. That’s exactly what I want. I want to feast upon you.”
She sucked in a breath of air. Neither of us move
d. There was a small stream of sunlight squeezing in through a crack in the wood. It created a literal line between us, filled with dust particles. It was a line in the sand. Once that line was crossed, I had a pretty good idea we both knew what would happen.
“We shouldn’t,” she breathed.
I raised an eyebrow. “The way you are looking at me suggests otherwise. I’m only a man, Alex. You can’t look at me like that and not expect me to want to throw you down in that pile of straw.”
She gulped. “I’m not,” she protested.
“Liar. I know you. I bet you’re wet right now.”
I saw her shudder. “Maybe.”
I smirked. “There’s no maybe about it. Look at me.”
“I am.”
I slowly shook my head, reaching for the erection that was straining to be freed from the jeans I wore. I ran my hand over myself, wincing at the combination of pleasure and pain my own touch brought. “You’re wet. I’m hard.”
I watched her gaze drop to my mouth. I gave her the chance to walk away. When she didn’t, I took it as the approval I needed to do what I had been dying to do since the moment she climbed out of that truck. I lunged for her, crossing the stream of sunlight and yanking her against me.
“This outfit was the wrong choice,” I growled.
She grinned. “I don’t know. I think it was the exact right choice.”
Her sassy answer was too much. My mouth slammed over hers. I ground my erection against her stomach, letting her feel just how badly I wanted her. I was so fucking hungry for her, there was no way I could stop myself. I didn’t want her lying in a pile of straw. I didn’t want the straw poking me in places that shouldn’t be poked.
I lifted her up, walking out of the barn and moving by memory toward the house. Her bare legs were wrapped around my waist, her mouth on mine as I moved. Every step I took rubbed my swollen cock against her. If I wasn’t careful, I was going to blow my wad in my jeans.
Chapter 42
Alex
“Where?” I breathed against his lips. It was the only word I managed to get out before his mouth covered mine again.