by Ali Parker
“You? Sitting? I thought you were always on the move.”
I laughed. “Usually I am, but not right this minute. I’m taking a little break.”
“That doesn’t sound like you. Are you feeling okay? Are you sick?”
“A girl needs a break now and again,” I argued. “I’m not sick. I don’t get sick. I refuse to get sick.”
He chuckled. “If only that were a thing.”
I sighed. “It is. Most of the time.”
“Alex, are you okay?” he asked, his tone completely serious.
“I’m fine, Wayne.”
He made a grunting noise. “I don’t think so. I was married for a long time, remember? When a woman says things are fine, what she really means is she is pissed, sad, or very irritated.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay. Yes, you are a little bit right. I’m fine. I think I’m bored, and I need to get out of the house. It turns out my little break isn’t all it is cracked up to be.”
“I think I have the solution for that,” he said.
“Oh, what would that be?” I asked.
“Come back,” he said.
“Wayne.” I started to give him the reasons why I couldn’t before he cut me off.
“You’re bored. I have a great place that will keep you very busy. You would never be bored.”
I smiled, shaking my head. “I’m not sure that’s the right move for me.”
“The offer still stands. The farm is here and will be here. I’d love to be able to make it official.”
“I truly appreciate the offer, but I’m not ready to make a decision just yet. I understand if you need to make arrangements to sell.”
“I’m not selling yet,” he said with a laugh. “I don’t plan on keeling over quite yet.”
“Good. I forbid you to do so.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. So, what have you been doing back in Montana?”
I sighed. “Not a lot.”
“Did you reconnect with your man?”
“Oh, Wayne,” I groaned.
“That doesn’t sound good.”
“It’s fine—”
His laughter came through the phone. “Fine. That word. I won’t pry. I’m here if you need an ear to bend.”
“Thank you. I do appreciate that. It really is okay. I think I’m going to go for a drive.”
“All right. Take care of yourself.”
“I will, Wayne. Thank you for calling.”
We ended the call, and once again, I was plunged into silence. I closed my eyes. I probably should have taken him up on his offer. I could get up, go to Wyoming, and leave Montana behind. All of it. It was what I should have done long ago. I couldn’t come up with a good reason for sticking around. A fresh start in a new place where no one knew me was very appealing.
I got up from the couch, walking around the tiny house, pacing like a caged animal. I wanted an excuse to check on the farm. I had heard through the grapevine he had boarded the horses and had someone checking in on the fields from time to time. It truly was none of my business.
But I was going to do a drive-by anyway. If someone saw me, I’d say I left something in the barn. It really was kind of a bummer that a girl couldn’t do a proper stalking drive by without being seen. That was one of the pitfalls of living in a rural place where the homes were stretched out with roads that led to a single house.
“Who cares?” I muttered, irritated that I was even trying to make an excuse. It was a free country. It wasn’t like Damion would know I was driving by his farm. My farm. I didn’t even know whose farm it was. I hated to think of the house empty and devoid of life, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to live in it.
There was no way in hell I would ever accept anything from Damion. I certainly wouldn’t take the farm that he had practically thrown in my face. He had all but called me a gold digger. I was still so very pissed and oh so happy he had left the state. I didn’t trust myself to keep my cool around him. I may not like the father, but I loved the little boy. I wouldn’t let him see me kick his father’s ass.
I grabbed my keys and slid my credit card and license into my back pocket. I walked out, the heat of the day a bit of a shock after being inside the air-conditioned house all day. I put on my sunglasses and climbed into my truck. I started it and rolled down the window. It was not a day for AC. I wanted to feel the wind blowing in my hair. I wanted to smell the dirt and even the cow manure.
I put the truck in reverse and backed out of the driveway. I stopped at the four-way stop at the end of the road and looked left, then right. I didn’t know where I was going. I was just going. Without giving it another thought, I found myself on the road to Oliver’s. Damion’s. Whatever.
I stuck to the road, avoiding the driveway. I slowed to an idling roll, staring at the house and the fields that stretched between the road and the barn. I hit the brakes when I saw a horse trailer.
“What the hell?”
I strained to see what was happening. The horses were in the pasture. “What the hell?” I repeated.
Why would the horses be back at the farm? I grabbed my phone and took a picture. I could make out figures near the barn, but my eyesight wasn’t quite at Superman level. I zoomed up on the picture and felt my stomach drop.
“No way. No fucking way.”
I looked out the window again and watched the two men. Proof of what the picture had already told me came bouncing out of the house. It was Oliver. I would know his exuberant step anywhere. I couldn’t help but smile as I watched him walk to his father.
They were back. The horses were back, which told me he was back to stay, at least for a while. Unless he was there to sell the place. That would make more sense. He was probably selling the house along with the horses.
“I’m sorry, Oliver. I’m so sorry. I tried. I really did try.”
I pushed the gas pedal and drove away. I couldn’t help but look in the rearview mirror. He was back. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. I was pissed, but I wasn’t. I had missed him. Not the him that had tried to give me the farm after accusing me of manipulating him and Oliver Senior to get it, but the old him. The him that had made me want him.
I drove home. It was my safe place. With the blinds closed and the door locked, I started pacing again. I could leave. I could call Wayne and tell him I changed my mind. I could pack a suitcase and get out of town before I had the unfortunate experience of bumping into him. And I would bump into him. The town was too small not to end up running into each other.
I couldn’t begin to imagine what that would look like. Would he apologize? Would he tell me he came back to sell the place for good? There was no option that sounded appealing to me. Running away held the most appeal.
I didn’t like to think I was a coward, but just then, I felt I was. I didn’t want to see him. But did I have the courage to run away and let him win? I was not the kind of person that rolled over and played dead. I wasn’t sure I could live with myself if I let him run me out of town.
Chapter 51
Damion
It felt good to be back. I was exhausted, but it didn’t matter. We had touched down last night, rented a truck, and were home. Home for good. I didn’t know what the future held in store for me, but being home was the first step in the right direction. Since we had left with only a few suitcases, the rest of our things were still in the house. I had returned the car, breaking my lease and not caring about the cost.
The horses were back. We were back and I was ready to get started living, like truly living. I knew it wasn’t going to be a cakewalk. There would still be shit to deal with, but it would be in much smaller chunks. I didn’t have an exit strategy, which would force me to deal with that shit instead of getting up and leaving. I had burned my bridges in New York.
There was no going back.
“You good?” I asked Oliver, who was sitting in the rocking chair beside mine on the porch.
He looked over at me, a huge grin on his face. “I’m
good.”
I laughed. “Do you feel happy?”
He nodded. “Yep!”
“I hope you know we have a lot of work ahead of us. Farming isn’t easy. The older you get, the more chores you will have. If we get the animals you want, that means more work. You’ll be tired and cold most of the time in the winter, and during the summer, you won’t get to go on long vacations or head out to play until after chores are done.”
“I know,” he said, not sounding the least bit fazed.
It was stuff we had talked about on the flight over. I needed him to understand the grass wasn’t all that greener in Montana. It was going to be a hard life. We would have to learn to do for ourselves. The kid didn’t care. At least, that was what he said now. I had a feeling it wouldn’t always be so easy. I was okay with that. It was a different hurdle than what we would have faced in New York, but we would get through.
“I’m going to call Alex again,” I told him.
He nodded. “Okay.”
I smiled, getting up to go inside the house. I wanted some privacy for the conversation I hoped to have. As of yet, she wasn’t answering her phone, which didn’t surprise me all that much. We had not parted on great terms and had not spoken since that day. I called her, waiting to see if she would answer. It went straight to voicemail.
It was time to change tactics. I pulled up one of the only other people I knew in town in my contact list.
“Hello, Sadie, this is Damion,” I said when she answered the phone.
“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in,” she replied.
I sighed. I should have known her loyalty to Alex would make her very unfriendly toward me. “Look, I need to talk to her. It’s important.”
“Gee, if it was so important, don’t you think you should have talked to her a few weeks ago?”
“Yes, but we were both mad. I’m back and I want to talk to her. I need to clear things up.”
“You’re back?” she nearly shouted.
“Yes.”
“Wow. To be a fly on the wall when she sees that.”
“Do you know where she is?” I asked, ignoring the commentary.
“I don’t.”
“Sadie, please, I know I fucked up. I want to make it right. I need help.”
She blew out a breath. “How can I resist a man begging for my help?”
“I don’t know. I’m hoping you can’t. She won’t answer my calls.”
She scoffed. “No kidding.”
“Please. I need to talk to her. If I see her face to face, it might be easier.”
“Do you have Oliver?” she asked.
I rolled my eyes. “No, I left him in New York,” I said with sarcasm.
She laughed. “Watch it, buddy. I’m getting ready to do you a solid. Be nice to me or I will make your life a living hell.”
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out. “Please, do me a solid. What is the solid you’re going to do for me?”
I was expecting her to tell me where to find Alex. Or tell me Alex had left and gone to Wyoming or some other faraway place out of my reach. I held my breath, silently praying I hadn’t completely ruined things.
“Why don’t you bring Oliver by my salon? He and I can grab some lunch and play at the park while you hunt down Alex. If I were you, I would start at her house. She hasn’t left the place very often lately.”
I nodded. “Okay! Yes! I will. Thank you! I’ll be there in thirty minutes!”
I hung up the phone and walked back out to let Oliver know we were leaving. He was thrilled to be seeing Sadie. I was just hoping like hell I was able to track Alex down. Twenty minutes later, I was dropping him off at the salon.
“Be good,” I told him before quickly leaving.
I was anxious to see her. Anxious to know if I had a snowball’s chance in hell to make things right with her. I knew the chances were slim, but I was hoping she would at least give me a chance to explain. As I drove out to her house, I thought about what I would say. I wasn’t sure what the right thing to say was. We were both hurt and angry and felt betrayed. At least, that was what I had felt, and after a long time thinking about it, I had a feeling that was where she was at as well.
Her truck was parked in her driveway, which was a good sign. I took a deep breath, pulling all my courage together, and walked up to her door. I knocked once and waited. She didn’t answer. I knocked again, hoping she hadn’t heard the first time.
When she still didn’t answer, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called her. I could hear her phone ringing inside the house before abruptly being silenced. She was home all right. Home and ignoring my calls and my knocking.
I knocked again. I could hear movement beyond the door and knew she realized it was me. “Alex. Alex, can we talk?”
I waited. Nothing. I shook my head. She was going to make it difficult. I leaned my forehead against the door. “Alex, please. Open up. I need to talk to you.”
I heard a noise. It sounded like the door locking. She was making sure I didn’t bust in. It was a pretty clear signal that she was not going to invite me in and she was certainly not going to come outside so we could talk. If I wanted to say what I came to say, it was going to be through the door. Not exactly the scene I had envisioned, but I would take what I could get.
I turned around, leaning my shoulders and head against the door, the warm sun beating down on me as I collected my thoughts. Everything was riding on what I said next. I wanted to take a few seconds to mull it over. I wouldn’t likely get another chance.
“I’m sorry,” I started. “I shouldn’t have walked away. I was angry with myself. I realized I had screwed up with you and I wanted to kick my own ass. I came into town like I had a right to be here. I pushed myself on you when you weren’t ready. You told me repeatedly you weren’t ready for anything serious and I didn’t listen. I gave you no real reason to want something with me. I wasn’t sure I belonged in Geraldine. I was asking you to give your all and I was only putting in fifty percent. It was wrong. I fucked up.”
I turned around, pressing my palm against the door. “I’ve realized my mistake. I know I was wrong. I needed to see what I was missing to really get it. New York isn’t the place for me. It never was. I couldn’t see it then. I felt like I was a square peg fitting into a round hole when I first showed up in Montana. I was convinced I wasn’t meant to be a farmer. I know differently now. Oliver and I belong here. New York isn’t our home. We’re back. We’re staying. I’m not going anywhere.”
I let out the breath I felt like I had been holding since we boarded the plane in New York. I had hoped for a better reunion, but I didn’t blame her for shutting me out. I hadn’t given her any reason to listen to anything I had to say.
“I get it,” I said, my voice so low I doubted she could hear me. “I understand your hurt and anger and I won’t push you. I just needed to apologize. I’m sorry. This town is way too small for us to be pissed at each other. I expect nothing from you, but I hope we can at least be friends—from a distance. Oliver is very excited to see you. I’m not trying to guilt you into anything, but he would like to see you and say hello when you’re available.”
I cringed. That sounded like I was asking for something. I wasn’t. “Fuck,” I groaned. “I’m sorry, Alex. For what it’s worth, I love you. I wished I would have had the balls to tell you that when you were standing in front of me. I’m a chickenshit. I’ll admit it. I’m a coward and I didn’t want to be vulnerable. Take care of yourself, Alex. I do hope I will see you around.”
I pressed my palm flat against the door, hoping she had at least listened to what I said. My heart felt a little tug as I said my goodbye. I turned and headed down the walk. I hoped Oliver didn’t ask about her too much. I wasn’t sure what I would say. I couldn’t tell him his father was an idiot and had fucked up the one really good thing going in his life.
“Damion.”
I spun around to find Alex standing on the stoop. “Hi,” I breathed, almost af
raid to say anything at all.
“You love me, or Oliver loves me?” she asked.
I smiled and took several long strides back to her. I stood directly in front of her, forcing her to tilt her head back to look at me. “You heard me loud and clear. Me. I love you. Oliver does love you, but that’s not important right this minute.”
She grinned. “You’re right.”
She leaned up on her tiptoes, her hand going to the back of my head as she pulled me toward her. Her lips touched mine. I closed my eyes, sinking into the kiss that I had craved for three very long weeks. My arms wrapped around her slender body, pulling her against me. It felt so good, so right, to have her in my arms. It was where she belonged. I was damn well going to try my hardest to convince her of that fact.
I had no intention of letting her get away from me again. Not without a fight.
Her kiss intensified. I felt her need. It matched my own. She practically climbed me, one of her legs hooking around both of mine. I wasn’t that big of an idiot. If she was willing to take me back, I wasn’t about to walk away from a chance to be with her. I reached down, hoisting her up until her legs were around my waist.
I walked inside her house and kicked the door shut behind me. I remembered where her bedroom was, and with her body glued to mine, her lips running a series of kisses over my jaw, I kicked open the door and carried her to the bed.
“I’ve missed you,” I breathed, slowly lowering her body to the mattress.
“Me too. I need you. Hurry.”
Chapter 52
Alex
I stared up at the man that had captured my heart. His dark hair fell over his forehead. His blue eyes stared down at me. The way he was looking at me sent my heart racing. He was so beautiful. I knew men didn’t want to be referred to as beautiful, but he was. He had a kind heart. It was a little bruised and battered, but I had a feeling I could help him heal. Just like he could help me heal.
“Damion?” I breathed his name.
“I’m just looking,” he said, a soft smile on his lips.