by Scarlett Ray
“What would it matter if I had told you? What would you have done?” she asked coldly. “You think your family would’ve welcomed him into the fold? Because if they didn’t, you’ve already made it real clear that you wouldn’t argue.”
The rational part of my brain knew that my family excluding Nicky for being half-human was a very real possibility—but I wasn’t ready to think rationally yet. “This isn’t about you and me. It’s about you keeping him from me.”
“Oh no, it sure as hell is about you and me. I was going to tell you. Once you got back, I had plans to tell you. Give you the chance to be part of his life. I was even going to apologize for hiding him from you all those years. But I can’t—” her voice broke for a second, and even though she scrubbed her tears away, her eyes were still red when she glared at me. “I can’t trust you. Because as much as you say you want me, as much as you say you want him, it’s not enough. We’re not enough to keep you here. You aren’t man enough to argue with your family for me; why would I expect you to do it for him?”
I felt every one of her jabs, and every one provoked my inner beast even more. It wasn’t fair for me to respond to her pain with anger, and I knew it, but if I couldn’t get a handle on myself soon, I was going to end up attacking her right back. “That boy is my flesh and blood,” I growled, fists clenched tight. “He is my family.”
“He should be!” she barked, striding closer to challenge me. The tears were running down her face, but her voice stayed firm. “We both should! We could have been. I wanted that! But you already decided something else was more important. Tell me you changed your mind and this conversation can go a different direction.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean if you tell me you can be here for us, then I’ll let you. If you tell me you can ignore whatever bullshit rule is holding you back, you can put us first, put us before anything else—then I want you to.” Her voice was almost pleading, but she kept her shoulders squared, her posture proud, “Can you? Can you promise me that?”
There was no way to explain without explaining everything. It wasn’t just a matter of disapproval. It wasn’t just about following the rules. The others could kill me for telling her. If Jared ordered it, they could kill her too. And Nicky. I wasn’t choosing my family over them. I was trying to protect them from my family. Wolves are protective, but they can be vicious too.
“I can’t,” I admitted, barely able to force the words out.
Dani nodded slowly, like she knew that would be my answer. “If you can’t do that for him, you’re not his father.” If her eyes were warm before, they were on fire now. Her shoulders drawn back, her jaw set, her breath heavy—even furious and vicious, she was still my mate. Even when she was tearing me to pieces, I couldn’t stop wanting her. Seeing her on the attack like that only made me feel it more. She growled, “Get out of my house.”
When she turned her back on me, I acted on instinct, grabbing her wrist and dragging her back into my arms to kiss her hard. She made a sound against my lips, either protest or shock or desire, and both her hands gripped my shirtfront tight as she kissed me back just as rough. But a second later, she shoved me away with a sob and slapped me hard across the face.
“Get out,” she ordered, her voice thick with tears.
“Mama?” We both went rigid at the sound of Nicky’s small, scared voice. He was standing at the foot of the stairs across the room, watching the two of us with confusion and concern written all over his face.
“Hey, baby. It’s okay,” Dani’s voice turned a lot gentler when she was addressing her son. Our son. She turned a hard gaze on me again and said firmly, “Leave.”
I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay and keep fighting with her. I wanted to work something out. I wanted to spend time with her and Nicky together. But there was obviously too much resentment between us for any of that to work, so there was no point. “Fine,” I said, already walking past her toward the front door. “But you should explain this to him.”
* * *
I was in no state to head home and be alone with my thoughts. Hell, I was barely in any state to drive. I had to get some of this aggression out or I would lose my mind. Despite Jared’s warnings, I decided to risk heading to the preserve, even in broad daylight. I parked on the outer perimeter of the off-limits area, near the gate. Being a ranger, I had keys, so I let myself in.
I barely managed to get out of my clothes to avoid ruining them before I shifted and took off through the trees, snarling and snapping at any living thing I came across. When I couldn’t find a victim, I took my claws to the trees, leaving deep gauges in their bark. It wasn’t enough. I needed someone to know how viciously, painfully angry I was. A deep, miserable howl tore out of my throat, and I kept hunting.
My beast took over completely and went on a rampage. By the time it was over, I didn’t feel any better emotionally, but at least my body didn’t feel like it was going to tear itself apart with all the energy I had bottled up. I made sure I was exhausted before heading back to where I had left my clothes. As I was doing up my shirt’s buttons, trying not to think at all, I caught the familiar scent of diesel fumes, and my hackles raised all over again.
Will. No way was this a coincidence. I approached the gate cautiously, on alert in case he was planning another attack. But when I stepped out, I found him waiting, lounging even, outside, totally relaxed. When he saw me, his mouth split into a smirk.
“About time. I’ve been waiting out here a while, you know.” He didn’t look worried by my presence at all, watching me expectantly, kicked back against that Beemer of his where it was parked in front of my truck. “Since it’s just the two of us, what do you say we be honest with ourselves about what’s going on here? Just this once.”
“You son of a bitch,” I growled, struggling to keep hold of my temper. “You nearly killed my cousin.”
“Do you not realize how ridiculous you sound? ‘My cousin,’” he repeated in an exaggerated southern accent. “In my defense, I thought it was you I was trying to kill. I didn’t realize just how many of you there are in this town. Like an infestation. And you all smell the same.”
“Great. So why were you trying to kill me?”
“Because you’re a nuisance,” he said plainly. “And because Dani obviously cared about you. I thought you might be a threat to my relationship with her. Turns out I overestimated you though.”
“What the fuck do you want with her?” I demanded, hands clenching into fists at my sides. I had to be smart about this. If I attacked him when I was already exhausted, I wouldn’t stand a chance. I had to control myself, no matter how badly I wanted to knock that smug look off his face.
“I wonder the same thing about you. You’re awfully possessive of her, aren’t you?” He looked me up and down thoughtfully, “Is it a crush? You just want to sleep with her? You can’t possibly believe she’s your mate.” My frown hardened, and his eyebrows jumped up in surprise, “You do! No wonder you’ve been trying so hard to keep me away from her. Isn’t that sad? You chose her, and she chose someone else.”
“Fuck you,” I growled.
“And the kid,” Will continued like I hadn’t spoken. “He’s yours, isn’t he? He looks just like you. Smells just like you, just like every other southwest cur in this town. Well, I’ll give her a better one soon, I’m sure.”
The implications made me want to vomit. “You’re disgusting. Whatever you’re trying to get from her, you should find it somewhere else.”
“I don’t think so. I’m getting exactly what I want from her, as often as I want it,” he added with a suggestive grin. I thought about seeing her that morning, how she’d had his scent all over her, and my beast was snarling to tear the fucker’s throat out. “Besides, she comes with perks no one else can provide. She’s useful. She might be the only useful person in this entire godforsaken town. I should thank you, actually. You made her feelings much easier to manipulate.”
“I’m sure she�
�d be interested in hearing all this,” I said through gritted teeth. “I’ll go ahead and tell her exactly what’s going on.”
“First, you don’t know what’s going on, you stupid hick. And even if you did, where’s your proof? She’s given up on you, Noah. There’s no way she’ll take your word over mine. You’ve lost.”
“This isn’t a fucking game.”
“No, it’s more like a sport. And I’m a better player than you.” He straightened up and tugged his cuffs down as he went on casually, “The point of this little chat was just to tell you to back off. It’s over. Stay away from her. Stay away from me.”
“Or what?”
He raised an eyebrow at me, “Don’t underestimate how much influence I have over her; if I really wanted to, I could convince her that the wolves on the preserve need to be exterminated. And you wouldn’t want that.” Opening the car door, he glanced back at me over his shoulder and held eye contact, “If you think I would have any moral issue with seeing your entire pack slaughtered, you are incredibly, dangerously wrong.” He got into the car without another word, cranked it, and left me where I stood.
I could feel myself shaking with rage. How the hell was I supposed to respond to this? He’d just confirmed every suspicion I’d ever had about him, and my hands were still tied. He was still protected by his family’s status. He was still messing with Dani’s head and controlling her. If it were just my life in danger, I would’ve gladly risked it for the chance to get him out of the picture. But if I did, it would be jeopardizing the rest of my pack.
“Goddamn it!” I slammed my fist into the side of my truck, leaving a sizeable dent. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I didn’t know how I was going to handle it. But I knew I would be damned if I was about to let my mate and my son be taken by some bastard who didn’t give a shit about either of them. Whatever I had to do, I would get him away from them. Even if Dani would hate me for it.
Chapter Nineteen: Dani
How many chances could I give him before I accepted that it wasn’t going to happen? How many times could I let him kiss me, see how good it felt, want more, and then have to stop it? Those stupid 1 a.m. thoughts from the night before had tricked me into thinking maybe I could change his mind. Maybe if he knew about Nicky, maybe he’d want to be with us bad enough… But I was wrong. Again. I gave him another chance and he turned it down again.
And now, after watching Noah leave, my baby was standing at the foot of the stairs with tears in his eyes. “Why were you fighting?” he asked shakily.
Lord help me. “It’s hard to explain, baby.” I came to pick him up and brought him to his room to sit on his bed.
“Do you hate him?”
“No, honey, no. I don’t hate him. I care about him a lot.” Holding Nicky close, I ran my hand over his hair and tried not to think about how much it resembled Noah’s. “But there’s more to it. He… I told you Noah was my friend. A long time ago.”
“When I was in the stars,” he was leaning against me, his little voice humming through my chest.
“Yes. And that’s true. But we had other feelings for each other too,” I had thought about how to explain this to him before, but there was no easy way to do it. “And he…well, he helped me get you.”
Nicky’s head snapped up so he could meet my eyes, “He’s my daddy?”
I nodded slowly, forcing myself not to look away, “Yes, baby.”
He dropped his eyes and, after a few seconds, muttered, “I knew it.”
“What?”
“He smells like me.”
Again with the smells? I thought he was past that. “Nicky, that doesn’t mean—”
“No!” Hh shoved away from me and got to his feet, frowning hard. “You told me I’m weird and he says I’m not! He knows what it means! He’s the same as me.” Starting to cry, trying to wipe his tears away with both hands, he asked, “Why wasn’t he here before?”
“He was off at school. I told you that.” I tried to reach for him, but he took a step back to get away. Seeing him run from me broke my heart.
“He didn’t want to be with us?” Nicky swallowed hard. “He didn’t want me?”
“No, no, it’s not that! He…” There was no way around this. “He didn’t know. I didn’t tell him about you, and I should have. But he couldn’t have been here! He couldn’t—” Without waiting to hear the rest, he grabbed something off his dresser and bolted down the hall. “Nicky?”
I followed just in time to see him slam the bathroom door shut. When I tried opening it, the door was locked, “Nicky! Come out of there!”
“No! Go away!” he screamed back.
“Nicholas Vasquez, you open this door now!” My mind was racing with all the different ways he could hurt himself in there, especially if he was throwing a tantrum. He just shouted at me again to leave him alone. He was sobbing so hard I could barely make out the words, and hearing him cry, knowing he wouldn’t let me hold him, brought tears to my eyes too. “Nicky, baby, please. You’re scaring me. Please come out.”
It took another minute or so, but he did unlock the door, and he immediately threw himself into my arms, crying into my shoulder. “Shhh. I know,” I told him, rocking him gently and crying silently along with him. “I know, honey.” Really, I did. I knew exactly how much it hurt that the person we both wanted, even needed in our lives refused to stay there. And I hated that I couldn’t fix this for him. I couldn’t just keep trying to convince Noah we were worth the trouble and hope he would agree someday. My heart could only get broken so many times.
When Nicky finally pulled away from me, I saw what he had in his hands. I hadn’t seen it in years, but I still recognized it: Noah’s “lucky” bolo tie. “Where did you—” I tried to reach for it, but he yanked it away, holding it close to his chest.
“My daddy gave it to me.”
Chapter Twenty: Noah
I didn’t bother going to Luke first this time. He would just try to talk me out of it, and I didn’t have the time to deal with his disapproval. I went straight to Jared and Mel’s place the day after my conversation with Will. They had one of the biggest ranches in the area and one of the nicest houses, only rivaled by the Vasquez place. It was the same land our family’s alphas had been working for generations. The place had about fifty ranch hands, all our relatives, milling around the property when I got there and parked in front of the huge Colonial-style house.
When I rang the doorbell, Mel herself answered with a smile, “Come on in, darlin’. Everything all right? Jared said you were in a tizzy when you called.” That was one way of putting it.
“Honestly, no, everything isn’t all right. But that’s why I’m here,” I said as I followed her into the den. “I’m hoping you two can help.”
“Well, we’ll do what we can. Of course, we will,” she sat down in one of two recliners across from the sofa. Jared was already in the other. They both seemed totally calm, somehow not affected by our pack-wide shifting ban.
“What can we do for you?” Jared asked.
I took a deep breath to focus my thoughts, then started pacing back and forth behind the sofa as I explained what I’d heard from Will. I had debated telling them that Nicky was my son in the hopes to convince them he needed me—but I worried it could put him in danger, so I left it out. I still told them all about how Will was using Dani, how he obviously had some plans to keep using her, and how dangerous he was.
“You both know how I feel about Dani, but this isn’t about jealousy,” I concluded. “She’s in danger, and I don’t think she’s the only one. He threatened our entire pack. We can’t just let that stand!”
They were both silent for a second. “Son,” Jared started, “the past few weeks ain’t been easy for anyone. Town’s not doing so well, business is hurting, and the whole pack’s restless. Now Mel and I been thinking, maybe it’s time for us to look for greener pastures.”
“What? You’re leaving town?”
“Not just us, honey, all o
f us,” Mel clarified, and my blood ran cold. “The whole pack. We couldn’t all go at once, of course - that would get us too much attention. But there are plenty of other places our family could do just fine—better, even.”
“You can’t be serious,” I sputtered. “You think that’s the answer? Just pick up and leave?”
“Careful, Noah,” Jared said, not seeming very concerned. “You’re getting awful close to insubordination.”
My beast bared his teeth but begrudgingly backed down. I wasn’t there to challenge Jared for his alpha position. “I just don’t get it. This is our home. Our pack started here. We’ve been here a hundred years or more. And you just want to let it die?”
“Of course, we don’t want that. Nobody wants that. But it might just be inevitable. The preserve is the town’s heart, and if it’s starting to go, sooner or later everything else will go with it. Some of us ranchers might be all right out in the middle of nowhere, but what about everyone else? If there’s no town, half the pack has no livelihood.” My uncle leaned forward to rest his arms against his knees, stroking his grizzled beard and giving me a hard look. “We have to think about what’s best for the group.”
“So that’s your answer to the problem with Will? ‘This town’s dying, so it’s none of our concern’?” I could hardly believe what I was hearing.
“Honey,” Mel said gently, so gently it felt patronizing, “do you know that northern pack boy is the reason the town’s hurting?”
I couldn’t give her a solid answer. Other than the attack on Miguel—which definitely was Will’s fault—I didn’t know why people were avoiding the preserve. And just like he’d said, I had no proof of anything he was doing wrong. I knew it, but I couldn’t prove it to anyone else.