He made love to me with a passion that brought tears to my eyes. Logan held nothing back, allowing me to experience his loneliness, sense of betrayal and abandonment, as well as his need to be with me. My own sense of abandonment and loneliness mingled with his, along with my need to be accepted. I didn’t just want to belong, I needed someone to want me. My body, mind, and soul ached for something I thought I would never have. Love. He made me feel complete.
I stood in silence as he leaned over me with his hands against the tiled shower on either side of my head. I rested my forehead against his chest and sighed. The water running across his back was no longer hot, but he didn’t complain. I reached behind me and turned it off. My hormones calmed down, but my feelings for him had not.
“Did you know this would happen?” I asked, using my fingers to catch the streams of water running through the ridges on his stomach.
“Yes, I suspected it would.”
“Why?” Had he just entranced me? The intensity of being with him still pulsed around me. Was it real or something forced on me? My fear of his answer kept my head buried against his chest.
“Vampires are complicated, princess,” he replied, cupping my chin and forcing me to look at him. “Exchanging blood is personal.”
What did that mean? His hazel eyes looked down at me, but I couldn’t decide if they held remorse, regret, or sadness. Maybe all three. “And that’s the only answer I get?”
He nodded, and water dripped from his hair across my face. I tried not to frown and knew I failed. Why would he keep this from me? It couldn’t be any more traumatic than the rest of my night.
“Is the vampire venom gone?”
His eyes never left mine, still drawing me in. “Yes, it’s gone.”
“And what about us?”
“You were not mine to take,” he replied, pulling one hand away from the wall and brushing the wet hair from my face.
“I’m not so sure,” I said cautiously. “I feel more connected to you than Kellen.”
“But you shouldn’t. I cannot be what you need. He isn’t just your partner, he’s your soulmate. I’ve tainted that for you, and I’m sorry.”
I pushed against his chest and glared at him. He didn’t move. “Are you sorry for making me feel complete? Sorry for giving me a part of yourself? Or sorry for not letting me become a vampire like you? Or are you deliberately trying to piss me off right before you walk out on me?”
Logan smiled and left me standing in the shower. He was not walking away. I would have answers from him. He wasn’t going to leave me with bread crumbs the same way Kellen did. What was this bullshit about a soulmate? Kellen even said we could be partners, not lovers.
“You don’t get to leave without answering my questions,” I hissed.
He slid his boxers over his hips and covered them with his blue jeans, then pulled his t-shirt over his head. He leaned into the shower and kissed my wet forehead. “Get dressed.”
He unlocked the bathroom door and left me standing there gaping at him. I didn’t know what to think. He’d just saved my life, but also made it extremely complicated. My feelings for Kellen were real and sincere, but not like the emotions that raged through me about Logan. Did he entrance me, forcing me to feel that way about him?
I got dressed and stormed into the living area to find it empty.
“Of course, he would leave,” I said, feeling tears swell in my eyes. Stupid bastard. Saves my life, throws my emotions into chaos, and leaves. My shoulders slumped and exhaustion washed over me. Why was all this happening to me?
“I’m not gone yet,” he whispered in my ear, startling me. He scooped me up and carried me into the bedroom. I looked up at him with anticipation but noticed his sadness. He was really abandoning me. I could see it in his eyes. How could he do this to me?
He laid me in the bed and sat on the edge next to me.
“I cannot leave you like this,” he said. “Kellen has been my best friend for years. He gave me purpose when I was broken. I promised myself, and you, that I would be your protector. Nothing more and nothing less. I’ve broken that promise to you, and I’ve betrayed my friend’s trust.”
He brushed my hair away from my face, and his remorse washed over me.
“Sleep, princess, and forget.”
I felt my eyelids get heavy as his lips brushed against mine. “Don’t you leave me, Logan,” I mumbled, fighting against the unnatural sleep that took me.
“I will never leave you,” he whispered.
Chapter 27
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Kellen whispered in my ear, the smell of sugar and cinnamon tempting my taste buds.
I smiled and tugged the blankets over my head. He pulled them back and sat on the bed next to me. I opened one eye to find his intense stare.
“Is it morning?” I asked, rubbing both eyes with my palms.
“It is. How do you feel?”
“I’m not sure, I was just rudely wakened by a handsome man who is completely dressed.”
A smile replaced his intense look. I blushed, uncertain where my sudden forwardness came from.
“So are you, little girl.”
I lifted the blanket and looked at myself. I never slept in pants. “Why am I fully dressed?” I dropped the blanket and rubbed my eyes again, trying to remember when I got in bed.
“Do you remember anything about last night?” he asked.
“No.” I glanced up at him, nervous energy flooding me when I saw the concerned look on his face. “Why don’t I remember? What happened?”
Kellen shifted, giving me space as the same intense look returned. “Do you remember fighting against the vampires?”
I pushed myself into a sitting position and hugged my knees, shaking my head to clear my foggy brain. “Oh, that’s right. Everything is so hazy.” I paused. “They were jumping over that wall in the woods. The wolves pinned three of them, but the fourth one got to me.” I clamped my hand over my mouth, remembering the vampire that bit me.
“Do you remember anything after that?”
I shook my head again. “Sort of. I felt weird and tired. Logan was here, and you left me with him.” Fear crept at the edge of my consciousness. I pointed my finger at him. “You weren’t supposed to leave me with him.”
“The vampire who bit you was a mage,” Kellen said, his gaze falling to his hands folded in his lap. “I had hoped… it doesn’t matter. His venom was already turning you in the short time it took me to collect you from Niyol and carry you here. Logan removed the venom, preventing you from becoming a vampire.”
I stared at him. How did I not remember any of that? What did he have to do to remove the venom? I thought I knew, and it terrified me. My whole body shivered beneath the blankets.
“Logan said he tried to make you forget what happened, as it was very painful and unpleasant.” He looked at me, searching my face for something. “He wasn’t sure it would work, but apparently it did.”
“Were you there?” I asked. “Do you know what he did to me?”
“He saved you from his fate,” he replied, his frown deepening. “I was downstairs keeping Victor from barging up here to stop him.”
I slid back down beneath the covers, pulling them over my head. Kellen left me alone with Logan even after the vampire said not to because he couldn’t control himself. I was nearly a vampire, saved by another who tried to bite me earlier that day. Another shudder ran through me, and I pulled the blankets tighter. Why couldn’t I remember any of it?
“What can I do to help?” Kellen’s muffled voice asked.
I pulled the blankets off my face and looked at him. “I don’t know.”
“Coffee?”
“Yes, thank you.”
He stood and looked at me for several moments before leaving the room. Something felt off, like a barrier between us. Was it because of whatever happened last night? Did Kellen know and not want to tell me?
I tossed the blankets aside and followed him out, making my way
to the bathroom. My bladder screamed at me the closer I got. I took care of my immediate needs, then went to the sink, stepping in a puddle of water. I pulled a towel from the rack and dropped it on the floor, silently cussing Kellen for not cleaning up after a shower.
I washed my hands and looked in the mirror. A startled laugh escaped my lips. The entire left side of my hair was flattened on the side of my head. “Did I go to sleep with my hair wet?”
I dunked my head in the sink, soaking my hair, then felt around the counter for another towel. My fingers found my bra, and I paused. What was my bra doing on the bathroom counter? Maybe I did shower before I went to bed, but why was I fully dressed except my bra? What did that venom do to me?
I grabbed the last towel from the rack, dripping water across the floor. I scrubbed my short hair and looked in the mirror again, tilting my head to the side. Two small puncture marks graced the side of my neck. I tentatively poked them with my fingers. They were a little tender but didn’t hurt. I huffed and tossed my towel on the floor, scooting it around with my bare feet. I slipped my bra beneath my shirt and threaded my arms through it, then picked up the towels and tossed them in the hamper.
Dozens of questions ran through my mind as I made my way to the kitchenette. I didn’t like the thought of missing an entire night, especially one with a vampire. I’d have to ask Logan about it eventually.
Kellen pushed a cup of black coffee towards me and smiled, but it lacked his usual sincerity. Something unpleasant definitely happened.
“Maybe it’s better that we don’t know,” he said, seeming to read my mind. “I trust Logan more than anyone else. If he says we don’t want to know, then I have to accept that.”
I frowned and looked at the coffee swirling in my cup. I knew he was right, but I still hated not knowing.
“How many of Victor’s people were hurt?” I asked, avoiding the subject still eating at me.
“He lost eight. A dozen or so are injured, but not critically.”
The Keurig bubbled and hissed. He poured cream and sugar into his cup and stirred it.
“I’m sorry. I should have listened to you and stayed here. I was completely useless.” I’d forced both of us into a difficult situation. Had it been tough for Logan too?
The corners of Kellen’s mouth twitched before turning into a full smile. What could possibly be good about this?
“Actually, Victor is demanding to talk to Niyol,” he said.
“Really? What did he do?” I remembered giving him free reign to fight for me, but everything after that was lost.
“He is the reason the vampires retreated,” Kellen explained. “His rage over seeing you hurt was unstoppable. I think he took it as a personal failure that the fiend got to you.” Kellen reached over and closed my gaping mouth with his finger. “Victor really wants to talk to your element. They wouldn’t have won without him.”
“I don’t know what to say.” And I didn’t. The thought of Niyol so angry left me speechless.
“Let’s go see Victor, then we’ll get breakfast.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ms. Johnson, it’s good to see you up and well,” Victor said, greeting us at the bottom of the stairs.
“Thank you.”
He wrinkled his nose as we approached, and his chocolate eyes narrowed at me. “You still smell like him,” he said.
“She will for another day or so,” Kellen stated. “It’s the price for saving her.”
“I suppose it’s worth it,” Victor said with a heavy sigh. “Did Kellen tell you I wish to speak to your elemental?”
I nodded. “He did, but I can’t promise he’ll agree.”
“I understand.” Victor turned and walked across the great room, pushing one of the large wooden doors open. “Let’s ask.”
I shrugged and followed him out.
Niyol, you do not have to speak to the pompous windbag, unless you really want to, I thought, hoping he would hear me. He didn’t respond.
We stopped in the arena, and Victor looked at me expectantly.
“I’ve been asking him to come the entire way here,” I said. “I have to assume he declines.”
He stared at me. “Ask out loud, for my benefit.”
“I will not put him on display for you,” I replied. “It’s his choice to show himself or not. I am not his keeper nor do I command him.”
A low growl floated across the space between us, and I rolled my eyes. Still the arrogant bastard.
“Please, Victor,” I said as diplomatically as I could manage. “According to Kellen, the fight was won. Your pack fought bravely, and you should be proud of what they accomplished. There are those who need time to grieve for their loved ones and others who need time to heal. I won’t waste mine posturing when there are more important things to deal with.” I turned my back on Victor and faced Kellen. “Can I go home now? Is the vampire threat quelled for now?”
Kellen looked over my head at Victor, then back to me. “There are a few people here who would like to see you first. Two little girls swear you promised to let them do your hair.” He laced his fingers through mine and led me away from the arena.
I should’ve said something to Victor rather than leaving him standing alone, but I’d had a really bad couple of days. I wasn’t in the mood to argue with him.
Instead of turning towards the lodge, we made our way around a small group of trees that opened into a clearing. Several log homes filled the space. Kellen led me to the largest one and pushed open the door. The smell of antiseptics greeted me, along with the feel of a hospital.
“AJ.” Matt strolled towards us with one arm in a sling. “Glad to see you’re up and moving.” He wrinkled his nose as he got closer and stopped several yards away.
“Yes, I know. I stink,” I said, anticipating his remark.
He waved his free hand in front of his face and smiled. “Kellen, you know you can take care of that with a little lovin’, right?”
I blushed and avoided looking at my partner. “How is everyone?” I asked. “I can help heal them.”
“Nah, we heal pretty quick,” Matt replied. “I’ll be outta this sling by tomorrow.”
“Must be nice,” I mumbled.
“You’ve got that cool water thing going, so don’t act like you’re disadvantaged.” He grinned and pushed past us through the door. “I’m getting breakfast. You should join me.”
I looked around the room at the injured shifters. They appeared well attended to, but what did I know? Would they ask for my help? Would my magic work on them? It refused to heal Logan, after all.
“Come on,” Kellen said. “If they needed your help, Matt would have said so.”
We walked back across the clearing, through the trees and into the lodge. Marissa greeted me with a smile and a plate of food.
“Sit down here, and I’ll have Kellen get you a cup of coffee.” She winked, and I did as she asked.
I still envied her life and was glad the vampires didn’t take it. I didn’t feel like I contributed much, but apparently Niyol had. The food on my plate disappeared quickly, and I washed it down with the hot cup of coffee Kellen brought me.
“Do you really want to go back to my place?” Kellen asked.
“Most definitely,” I replied. “I know Victor made promises to be allies and all that, but he and I are not fit to live in the same house.”
Kellen chuckled and took the last bite of bacon from his plate. The barrier between us was still there, but it was good to see him smile. I hoped it would go away sooner rather than later.
“AJ!” Tara’s small voice called from the kitchen door. “Are you really leaving?”
I swiveled on my chair to face the young girl. “Not before we do something with my wild hair.”
Tara beamed at me. “Tia! Get the salon ready.”
Chapter 28
“Why are you staring at me, Kellen?” I asked, knowing the answer.
“I like it, really,” he replied, turning his foc
us back to the road. We were less than thirty minutes from his estate. I glowered at him, but he didn’t see me.
“I’m glad they went with blue and not pink,” he continued “and just the tips, not a full color. It adds a little… I don’t know.” He grinned at me.
I pulled down the visor and looked in the small mirror. The sides and back of my hair were cut short, and thick gel coated the top, making it stand straight up. The baby-blue tips stood out against my white hair, but it was kind of cute. It made the girls extremely happy; they even made me sit through pictures.
“Do you really think the vampires are done for now?” I asked, my reflection forcing me to think of the Magister and the mage-vampires.
“I’m not sure,” Kellen replied. “And without Logan, I don’t know if I can find out.”
“Is he gone?” I asked. I had questions for him, but I wasn’t sure I could face him. Not yet, anyway.
“No, he can no longer go back to them, which means I’ve lost that line of information.”
“Oh.” I bit my bottom lip and stared out the window. The desert raced by in endless monotony. “He scares me, Kellen. Every time I think of him, I see his red eyes looking at me like I’m dinner. I know he saved me from becoming one of them, but all I remember are the bite marks all over his body and the way he snatched those bottles of blood from you.”
“The reason you fear him is the same reason he was able to save you.”
I looked over at my partner’s profile, once again reminded of the Egyptian Pharaohs.
“You were dying, no matter what I did,” he continued. “It was a huge risk, but also the only option.”
“I guess I understand,” I mumbled, but I didn’t understand.
My body ached everywhere in ways I couldn’t explain. Sure, I’d just been viciously attacked by a monster who wanted my blood, but I’d also been saved by a monster. I rubbed my tender neck and warmth flooded my body. What the hell? Was that a residual effect of the vampire’s venom? I hoped not. There was no pleasure in the way he attacked me and ripped into my neck. I shivered at the memory, chasing away the warm pleasure. I wasn’t quick enough or strong enough to get away. I failed to draw that creature’s blood from his body in time to save myself.
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