My head snapped up as a large hand landed gently on my back. Kellen knelt in front of me with a haunted look. His fear subsided into relief, confusion, and wariness.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice as raw as his emotions.
“I think so,” I replied.
He nodded and pushed himself to feet, then held his hand out to me. I let him pull me off my knees, and that’s when I finally noticed the last vampire. My eyes widened. Ropes of fire circled his body, pinning his arms to the side as he lay on the white tiles. The smell of burning flesh brought bile to my throat. Niyol’s tornado still contained blondie, and the Magister remained in the earth’s tight grasp.
Had we really done it? Had we fought against all those vampires and won? Yes, but only because of our elements. I never would’ve done it on my own. Without Niyol and Kellen’s fire, I’d be lying dead on the floor.
“You’re a fool, Kellen. My new army will destroy everything you care for, starting with my daughter.” The Magister’s voice broke my revelry, and I turned to face her.
“Do you even hear yourself?” Kellen asked. “You wish for the death of your daughter, the one you gave life to.”
My elation that came with our victory deflated with their words. I held my breath, hoping she would show some sign of remorse or compassion for me.
“If I don’t kill her now, she will only kill me later,” she hissed. “There cannot be two magisters, and I’ll not take a back seat to that half-breed.”
I should’ve known she’d let me suffocate. I didn’t hold back my sadness, but I wouldn’t let it consume me, either. Whatever happened to this woman, she was not my mother, and I was done grieving for her.
“You don’t have to die today,” Kellen argued. “Surrender, and we’ll let you live.”
A hollow laugh escaped her lips. “Yes, because life in prison is exactly what I want.”
“It’s better than death,” he said, his lips drawing into a thin line.
“What about the other two?” I asked, pointing at our elementals and the remaining vampires.
“They can join their Magister in a prison cell,” he replied. “I’ll be sure there’s plenty of sunlight to keep them company.”
Chapter 35
Kellen and the three elementals escorted their prisoners from the horrible, pink room. My legs gave out, and I slid to the ground, fighting back the tears threatening to spill down my face.
“She would’ve killed me with no remorse whatsoever,” I whispered to the empty room. “What did I do to make her hate me like that?”
“You did nothing, child,” Water’s voice whispered to me. “I’ve already told you she is broken. The vampire’s curse merely amplified her evil heart.”
“I just wanted…”
I hugged my knees and cried, unable to voice the emotions raging through me. I didn’t want to be Magister. I sucked at being responsible and dreaded the thought of having an entire community depending on me. Because of my ineptitude, I would expect Kellen to bail me out and make all the decisions I wasn’t capable of making. My element wrapped its arms around my shoulders, flooding me with warmth and kindness, yet somehow keeping me dry.
“I can’t do this.”
“Yes, you can,” Water said. “Remember you are not alone.”
I looked up at its fluid form, its eyes shifting like tiny waves. “How?”
“The idea for a council is sound. Your great-grandfather had one that served him well.” It shifted around in front me. “You will need to be the one to make the final decisions, but taking advice from others makes you strong. Your mother wanted full control and would listen to no one. In the beginning, she made good decisions, but the draw of power overtook her desire to serve her people.”
“How will I know who to trust?” I asked, my thoughts immediately turning to Logan. “And what can I do about my connection to Logan?”
Water’s form shimmered, and I thought it would leave. It slid across the room, stopping in front of the windows. It stood there, its translucent form shifting back and forth methodically.
“I’m undecided about the one who is dead to me,” it said. “It appears you can benefit from the connection. Your ability to see people’s intentions will grow as your bond to him grows. This will help you know who to trust, but it comes at a price.”
I swallowed hard, unsure if I wanted to know the price. Who was I kidding? Not knowing would kill me.
“Tell me, please.”
It glided back to my side and lowered itself so we were eye-to-eye. “I cannot tell you,” it said. “He has taken that memory from you. If he chooses to give it back, you will have your answer.”
“You know what he did to me, don’t you? You and Niyol are both keeping it from me.” My fragile heart felt like it might snap in two. How could they do that to me?
“There is no benefit in telling you,” it replied. “I fear it will create a rift that cannot be healed.”
“Not telling her will also create a rift.” Niyol appeared next me, nearly blowing me over.
“We’ve already discussed this, brother,” Water said, rising in one fluid motion.
“Yes, and I think your caution will be her undoing. Kellen’s actions towards her are insincere.” Niyol’s flickering eyes glanced down at me. “While I share your distaste for the dead one, his concern for the princess is genuine.”
I raised my eyebrows. “What do you mean Kellen’s actions are insincere?”
“Kellen’s motives are to protect the mages,” Water argued, ignoring my question. “He will do what is necessary to restore their balance, but he will not hurt our princess.”
“You are blinded by your hatred for the Magister,” Niyol hissed, stepping in front of Water.
“I have good reason to hate her. She destroyed him, ripping him from me with total disregard for the damage it would do to us both.”
I remained motionless on the floor, entranced by the revelations playing out before me. Was my water elemental once connected to Logan? Did Kellen really care more about his mission to oust my mother than he did about me? The wind picked up around me as Niyol put distance between himself and Water.
“We should be protecting our princess and ensuring her place of power, not allowing some imposter to take her place,” he said.
“He also carries royal blood, you fool,” Water hissed. “His passion is for his people, which will ensure Alisandra’s future.”
The air around me grew heavy, and small droplets of water pelted my skin.
“Stop.” I stood, and both elements turned to me. “Both of your arguments make sense. I understand the importance of removing my mother, especially now. While I lack the skills to lead anyone, I’ll try to be what is needed to keep our people safe.” I looked at my water element. “I have to trust your decision to connect me and Kellen. You…” I waved my hands at both of them. “You’re the ones who said he and I had to be together to do this. As a matter of fact, I remember you saying he could not do it without me.”
“No, our stone brother said he would do it without you,” Water corrected. “Even Kellen knew he could not. These mages will not accept a foreign family to rule them. It must be you, or a council with you, leading it.”
“Wait.” I shook my head as its words sank in. “So, you guys weren’t in agreement about our partnership?”
Niyol and Water looked at one another. How were they not in agreement?
“No,” Niyol replied. “Kellen’s fire was completely against it.”
I remembered the raging battle between the two. “Which is why you fought the way you did.”
“He surrendered only because of Water’s intervention,” Niyol confirmed.
My thoughts whirled once again. All this time I trusted their decision, but they lied to me, too. Was there no one I could trust? “Why? Why did he not want us together?” I asked. “Don’t give me some bullshit answer. I want the truth!”
Niyol sighed dramatically, stirring the curta
ins across the room. “His fire, and to some extent, earth, believe Kellen does not need you. He refused to accept that the mages need the stability of your family, not an outsider.”
As much as I didn’t want it to, Fire’s argument made sense. Kellen was a much better leader than me, but I could see the people here protesting, regardless of Kellen’s dedication to them.
“And what about Logan and this bond? How does that change my standing with the mages? And don’t tell me it doesn’t,” I asked.
“We need more time to find out,” Niyol replied. “I will continue to press my brothers for information.”
“As I said before, I think you should use your connection to him to determine the loyalty of those around you,” Water added.
“But how could I possibly trust someone who deliberately lies to me and steals my memory?” I asked.
“Because you can tell when he’s lying,” Water replied. I thought I heard it chuckle. “Don’t be afraid to confront him in a lie, child. I don’t believe he can hurt you, no matter how angry you make him.”
“Because of our life bond?”
“Exactly.”
I rolled back on my butt and folded my legs in front of me, thinking about what I’d just learned. So much had just been revealed to me. Why couldn’t they tell me all this sooner?
“Are you two done fighting?”
“We were not fighting,” Niyol said. “We were merely voicing differences of opinion.”
“Oh, sure. It sounded like a fight to me,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Thank you for sharing with me. I feel like everything is happening around me, and I have no control over any of it. Yet, I’m supposed to be the glue in this great big puzzle.”
The two elements looked at each other, then turned to me.
“We are dedicated to you first and foremost, but every decision we make must be for the good of your world,” Water replied. “We cannot exist, our world cannot exist, if we are not balanced.”
“I guess that makes sense.” My gaze flicked between the two of them, grateful for their presence.
“Be careful, princess, and call if you need me,” Niyol said.
“Don’t wait for me to call, Niyol. I may not be in a position to chat the next time I need you.”
His translucent form shifted slightly as he knelt closer to me. “I have to have your blessing to act against another,” he said. “I cannot strike out against a human without it.”
“You have my blessing to save my ass anytime,” I replied.
His wispy chuckle ruffled my hair. “Thank you, princess. That will make my job much easier.” He turned to Water. “I’ll be spying on our brothers if you need me.” He disappeared, leaving behind a pile of dust.
“Can I know your name?” I asked, looking up at the flowing form in front of me.
“I am Göksu,” he replied, sinking to the floor so he was eye level with me.
“That’s cool. Göksu…” I repeated. “What does it mean?”
“Ah, humans and your need to have meaning.” It chuckled fully this time, his body wavering with the movement. “I prefer the Turkish language that interprets it as sky and water.”
“I like it. So, were you responsible for the thunderstorm during my confrontation with Victor?”
“No, that was Niyol’s doing. Well, mostly. The rain was mine, but you asked for my healing waters.”
“I think I asked for the thunder and lightning, too, on a subconscious level. Victor is really irritating.”
“He has endured much since the passing of your father,” Göksu replied.
I frowned, picturing Victor’s arrogant stance and chocolate eyes. “Have the shifters always been our allies, or was he lying about that?”
“He spoke the truth. They have been your protectors for centuries. They understand and share our connection to the earth.” Göksu’s form shifted again, and its face turned to the door. “Your bonded-one nears.” It disintegrated into thousands of tiny droplets and disappeared.
I sighed. It felt good to talk to them. They brought clarity to so many things, except for Kellen’s motives. Were his feelings for me genuine? Niyol implied they weren’t, and Göksu didn’t correct his assessment. Even if I asked my partner, would he be honest with me?
A shiver ran through my body, and I felt Logan’s presence very close. I thought Göksu meant Kellen, but apparently not. How did Logan get here? How did any of the vampires get here? Obviously, the portals were not the only way.
I jumped to my feet and ran from the room, following my connection to him. Unfortunately for me, he ran faster than I did. We collided at the bottom of the stairs. Rather than stopping to make sure I was okay after running face-first into his solid chest, he quickly picked me up and raced back to the Magister’s rooms. He passed through the awful pink sitting room and into her bedroom. He closed the door and locked it, then pushed a chair in front of it, bracing the edge under the door handle.
“What the hell, Logan?” I asked, feeling his panic.
He closed the space between us and looked down at me. His hazel eyes stared, and I struggled to follow his whirling emotions. “I cannot undo the bond between us, not without killing us both,” he whispered.
“I sort of assumed that,” I said. “That doesn’t explain the panic I feel from you.”
He glanced at the door, then back to me. “I need to tell you something…” He bit his bottom lip and sighed. His shoulders slumped, and my hands trembled. He was going to reveal what he did to me. “Kellen will discover how the bond was created. I would prefer you find out from me. That’s not true. I’d prefer you didn’t know at all, but that isn’t a choice.”
He knelt in front of me and a lump formed in my throat. He was sad and angry, but most of all guilt-ridden.
“What happened?” I asked.
He took a deep breath and the corners of his lips turned up. “You smell like jasmine, in case you were wondering.” The smile disappeared. “I need to give you the memory of that night. My words will not explain what happened.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sat in the middle of the floor, hugging my knees, unable to see past the scenes still floating in my vision. Logan gave me my memories back, kissed my forehead, and left. He just disappeared, leaving me alone to deal with the shock of what happened between us. He promised he would never leave me, but he had. Again.
A trembling sigh escaped my lips. It explained so much. No wonder I felt so comfortable around him. It never made sense to me how I could so easily abandon my fear of him. I assumed it was because of his impeccable listening skills and willingness to answer questions that Kellen avoided. It wasn’t that at all. Okay, maybe some of that. My opinions and concerns mattered to him. He didn’t belittle me because of my ignorance or lack of understanding. He never answered my question with, ‘Because that’s how it is.’ And he knew what it felt like to be abandoned and unwanted.
But it also created more uncertainty. Kellen was supposed to be my partner, the one I turned to for my strength and understanding of our magic. So why was Logan in charge of my combat training and not Kellen? My partner should’ve been teaching me how to fight with him. Wasn’t that the whole point? Didn’t he say we were stronger together? We hadn’t even tried to practice anything that involved our elements working together. Maybe we didn’t need to, though. Niyol seemed to know exactly what to do with Kellen’s fire.
My thoughts moved to my conversation with Göksu. Could I trust my element to lead me in the right direction? He said I could use Logan’s connection, but there would be a price. Was Kellen the cost of embracing my bond with the vampire?
My body shook at the thought of losing Kellen. Nope, there was no way I could give that up… or could I? Kellen had always been so supportive, but he’d changed after that night at the shifters’ lodge, the wall between us becoming more substantial every day. I didn’t think I could ignore the pull of my heart towards Logan, either. And how in the world would I tell Kellen what happened?
Logan was right; my partner would find someone to explain the bonding. Would it be better to spill the beans now, before he found out on his own? I knew that answer. Kellen needed to hear it from us.
The phone in my pocket buzzed, scaring me. I pulled it out and flipped it open. Logan’s name flashed on the small screen with a message.
Logan: I’m sorry
Me: whatever
Logan: I couldnt be caught in the palace. we’ll talk at kellens soon
Me: whatever
I flipped the phone closed and stuffed it back in my pocket. It buzzed again, and I ignored it, wrapping my arms around my knees once again. I couldn’t think of any way to tell my partner I’d had sex with his friend and thoroughly enjoyed it. What the hell was happening to me? I longed to go back to my tiny, one-room apartment and hide from the world.
The door to the Magister’s room opened with a scrape against the white tiles. Kellen’s head poked through the gap, and my lip quivered. Why did I feel so guilty if Kellen didn’t even care about me that way? Niyol and Göksu had confirmed that much.
He hurried into the room, and the tears flooded down my face.
“I’m so sorry, AJ. I shouldn’t have left you alone.”
He reached down and scooped me up. I buried my face in his chest, but I knew he felt my guilt. How could he not?
“Are you hurt?” he asked, carrying me through the pink room and down the dimly lit hallway.
I shook my head, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. Another door opened, and the room we entered smelled faintly of Kellen. He sat me down on a soft chair and pulled the one across from me closer.
“The hardest part is over,” he said quietly.
I took a deep breath. He thought I was upset about my mother. Maybe I had too many emotions to sort through, even for a bonded partner.
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