by M. A. Innes
I squeezed his hand and leaned over to kiss him. “So did you pimp out your husband or yourself?”
Tobias started to laugh so hard he ended up choking. When he could finally breathe, he smiled at me. “So you’re not mad that it’s not going to be a traditional night out?”
I smiled and leaned in to kiss him gently. “There is no way either of us could say no to that crazy old woman.”
Tobias chuckled and nodded. “Yep, I was steamrolled.”
Then his voice got softer and gentler. “But the way I figured it is that we have years and years ahead of us and he...well, he doesn’t. I can’t imagine waiting that long to admit to someone I wanted to date a man or to say I was bi. God, that’s such a long time to be in the closet.”
He was right, I just couldn’t imagine that. “So who’d you pimp out?”
Tobias’s smile spread over his face again. “Me. I thought your work might have issues with you dating a resident. You get to take Ms. Abigail and show her a wonderful time as her escort while she probably tries to grab your butt. I figured your boss would have less of an issue with that if they found out.”
“Those crazy women are all going to grab my butt.” I wished I was kidding. I gave him a firm look and waved a finger at him. “Don’t let that man grab more than your butt.”
Tobias laughed. “I did not promise anything more than a goodnight kiss. A very chaste one.”
He was sweet and thoughtful and utterly insane. “This is going to be a night to remember.”
And I had a feeling he would end up owing me one. At the very least he would owe me a massage for all the pinching I would have to endure in this suit. I’d bought it with him in mind because it made my ass look great. I was starting to regret that decision.
Chapter 6
Tobias
It might have been the oddest Valentine’s Day ever, but it had also turned into the sweetest. Noah pulled me into his arms as he leaned back against the car. Resting my head against his shoulder, I sighed, trying not to get emotional. “That was so...”
I didn’t have the words for it.
Noah seemed to understand because he kissed my head, and I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. “He looked very pleased with himself.” Then Noah chuckled. “All Abigail talked about all night was how brave her Albert was.”
“Hopefully that made it easier to keep her entertained.” I sighed as his hands started stroking my back. “Did you manage to keep your virtue intact?”
He laughed. “Probably about as well as you did. She pinched my butt and kept giving me this wicked grin, saying that if she were only fifty years younger, she’d give you a run for your money.”
They were so funny. “I got something similar from him.”
“And a pinched ass?” Noah chuckled. “This makes me wonder what the hell went on with those strippers.”
It was my turn to laugh. “She got Albert a lap dance. You don’t want to know what they did with those strippers.”
Noah snorted. “I need plausible deniability. Don’t tell me.”
“I’m scarred enough for the both of us.” But overall, Albert had been a perfect gentleman with me, aside from an occasionally wandering hand. He’d pulled out my chair and had even tried to pay for dinner at the fancy Italian place I’d made reservations at.
Albert had left me in stitches with his stories, and I’d even teared up a time or two when he’d confessed that he’d been curious about dating guys back in his teens, but at that point, it just hadn’t been something people talked about.
It’d taken years for him to realize what it meant about him, but he’d already been married at that point and hadn’t seen the point in rocking the boat in what was otherwise a wonderful relationship. His love for his wife really came through as he spoke, but it was still sad.
Noah pressed another kiss to my head. “You’re an amazing man. You know that, right?”
I smiled but shook my head. “No, I think that title goes to you for spending your Valentine’s Day like this.”
He chuckled. “Nope, you’re the best. But I will admit, I had a good time. It was nice to see Abigail having fun, and she’s a very good dancer.”
Noah and the rest of the staff had gone all out on the decorations and had even hired a few musicians to come in and play a variety of music. After I’d walked Albert to his door and said good night, Abigail had opened the door and had immediately alternated between telling Albert how much she’d danced and asking him questions about our date. I’d made a quiet getaway when she’d started quizzing him too specifically.
“I’m glad it wasn’t too frustrating for you.” Noah had the patience of a saint most of the time, but he was already at work a lot, and asking him to go in on his night off had me questioning my plan. “Are you ready to go home or are we heading someplace else?”
I might have had a good time with Albert, but it hadn’t slipped my mind that Noah still had a surprise waiting for me. He was quiet for long enough that I pulled back, curious about what he was thinking.
Noah gave me a forced smile and nodded before finally taking a deep breath. “Just nervous. It’s silly.”
His nerves were silly or the present was silly?
“I’m sure I’ll love it.” I leaned in and kissed him gently. “You always put a lot of thought into things like this.”
“But what if I’ve overthought it or you don’t like the way I thought about it?” As he spoke, his arms tightened around me and nervous energy radiated from him.
“Then we talk about whatever it is and have fun. I love you, and even a terrible gift would be appreciated because I know you thought about me when you bought it.” Then I smiled teasingly. “Just not a vacuum.”
He laughed. “Deal. How about a fancy mop?”
I groaned. My father was a terrible gift giver. The previous Christmas, Noah and I had gotten a new vacuum from my father—for the second year in a row. We hadn’t found a way to explain that to him over the holidays, but luckily, my mother had realized what he’d done and had dug through his desk to find the receipt. We now had a very expensive coffee maker instead of a second vacuum.
“I’ll take it if it’s one of those robot things that cleans on its own.”
It was Noah’s turn to groan. “Those seem too...alive. I don’t want something that basically walks around the house by itself. It’s probably internally judging us based on how dirty we are or it’s sending information to god knows where about us.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “I’m getting us matching tin foil hats for your birthday.”
He scoffed. “It’s not paranoia if I’m right.”
Unable to resist his cute craziness, I leaned in and kissed him again. “Come on, nut. Let’s go home.”
That seemed to have his stress rising again, but it didn’t peak as high as it had last time. He smiled as he nodded and pushed off the car. “You driving?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” Especially since he seemed unusually distracted.
Reaching out to run my hand over his chest in what I hoped was a soothing caress, I smiled. “McDonald’s on the way back or did you get enough to eat?”
Noah chuckled. “The food was fine. Besides, you promised me no fast food.”
“Then how about dessert later?” I thought back to what we had in the kitchen. “I’m sure I can figure out something tempting.”
He looked interested in the idea but shook his head. “Maybe.”
The oddly confusing reactions only piqued my curiosity. What had he planned?
I couldn’t remember when he’d been too nervous to eat. Even when he’d been planning on popping the question, he hadn’t looked this worried. “Okay, we’ll play it by ear then.”
The trip home continued the same way. Awkward silences and odd comments that said how stressed he was without giving me any information at all. By the time I pulled into the driveway, I’d thought about the range of things he could have done, but nothing made sense wit
h who he was or what might make him so worried.
As we headed to the house, I took his hand and squeezed it but didn’t try to force him to talk. I wasn’t sure it would help, and I never usually needed to, so it was a new problem for us. When we were in with the door locked, Noah looked at me and seemed to be trying to decide how to handle the situation.
Finally, he came to some kind of conclusion because he forced a smile. “You ready?”
“Yes.” I was beyond ready.
“Good.” It took him a few seconds to realize that meant he had to do something, though. “Okay.”
Leaning into his arm, I let my head rest against his shoulder as he led us through the house and toward the bedrooms. I never usually even noticed I was smaller than he was, but at that moment, I wanted to be broad enough that I could wrap him in my arms and pull him onto my lap.
When he stopped outside the guest room, I was confused but willing to wait no matter what. He smiled again, something closer to actual happiness, and kissed my forehead. “I’ll be right back. I hid it in here.”
So it was a present?
“Okay.” Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait very long. In seconds, he had a large wrapped box that was covered in pink paper with little hearts all over it.
He grinned. “It was either this or birthday wrapping paper with balloons.”
“It’s beautiful.” It was very pink and a lot bigger than I would have expected. The large box was entirely too big to be jewelry or anything else that I might have gotten him.
Shaking his head skeptically, he started to take it toward the living room, but I had another idea. “Let’s go stretch out on the bed instead. I’m ready to curl up with you, unless this is something we need to open in the living room or kitchen?”
At that point, I wasn’t going to assume anything.
Noah shrugged, his wide shoulders still stiff with tension. “That’s fine.”
Not a rousing endorsement but it just said how worried he was. It was my turn to lead as we headed toward our room. I went straight for the bed and climbed up, patting the mattress beside me. “Come here.”
Noah quietly followed my instructions and set the present down beside me as he got up on the bed. Taking the box, which wasn’t as heavy as I’d expected, I set it on the other side of me and made sure he knew he was supposed to curl up next to me.
When I was basically draped over him and as close as I could get without being annoying or squishing him, I reached for the box and set it on our laps. Something moved in the large box and I realized that, by the way it shifted, there had to be several smaller things in it. So I had a large, light box with several items in it that made Noah so nervous he wasn’t interested in dessert. It was more information than I’d had before, but nothing that was helpful.
Stupid questions like is it alive or will it jump out at me flew through my mind, but I knew better than to ask them. I liked surprises, not jokes, and Noah always wanted to make me happy. This wasn’t a casual gag gift.
Trying to lighten the moment, I turned and grinned. “Should I open the paper carefully so we can use it again? I’m sure this would be great for a birthday.”
His chuckle sounded slightly strangled, but he managed a smile as he shook his head. “Shred it. I’m planning ahead next time and not waiting until the last minute to find wrapping paper.”
Grinning, I started tearing into the present like it was Christmas morning. Noah laughed at my enthusiasm and kept egging me on to make sure there was nothing left of the paper to save. When it was all in shreds on the bed that would be a bear to clean up, I still couldn’t decide what it was.
The brown box was carefully devoid of almost all information. The only exception was the shipping label that had our information and a simple address and logo for the return address. L&L Inc. didn’t mean anything to me, so I picked at the tape that was keeping it closed. It was clear Noah had already opened the box once because it peeled away easily.
Noah was frighteningly still, and I could almost see the stress radiating off him like the waves of heat from a fire. Wiggling to see if I could get any closer, I shifted the box and something thumped inside it. Too curious to wait, I rested my head on Noah’s shoulder and opened the flaps while he held his breath.
At first, I couldn’t figure out what I was looking at.
Bright colors and several smaller boxes didn’t give me any information at first. Noah was now so motionless I wanted to check if he was still breathing, so I had a feeling I should know what I was looking at. Reaching in, I shifted the fabric and turned it over in my hands.
“Oh.”
Not my best response.
“You think it’s stupid.” Noah finally came to life, but all his fears started jumping out of him at once. “I can return it. We don’t have to talk about it. It was just an idea and—”
“Wait.” I turned and dropped the mask to press a finger to his lips. “Deep breath, baby. Don’t assume I think it’s stupid. I’m still processing.”
It was a lot to process.
He swallowed and nodded slowly before pressing a kiss to my finger. As I pulled back, he hugged me tighter. “Okay.”
He was more relaxed, but I still had no idea what any of it meant. Focusing back on the box like it would magically give me all the information running through Noah’s head, I picked up the mask again. Once I rearranged it in my hands, I’d known exactly what it was. I’d never seen one up close, but I’d seen them online.
A puppy play mask.
It was mostly black with some blue highlights around the ears and muzzle. Since I hadn’t decided what my reaction was yet, I looked deeper into the box. The other smaller packages contained things like knee pads and even a tail.
I knew Noah was waiting for me to say something, but I was still confused.
Not about what the items were for—I wasn’t a moron—I just wasn’t sure what he was envisioning. Finally giving up, I shifted and smiled at my worried teddy bear of a husband. “The blue is really pretty.”
It felt like a good but fairly neutral statement. Noah seemed to need me to have some kind of positive response, but my brain was reeling. From what little I knew, I tried to envision him as a pup, but the picture just didn’t mesh for me.
My tender husband had always struck me more as a gentle giant, not an excitable pup. I didn’t know much about the specifics of the lifestyle, but the images my brain was conjuring from pride photos online and the odd article wasn’t anything like Noah.
He took a deep breath and smiled faintly. “I thought you would like it. Blue’s one of your favorite colors.”
He’d picked my favorite color?
I smiled, because no matter what, he’d still been thinking of me, and turned back to the mask. “How long have you been curious about being a pup?”
I’d thought we were finally making some headway until he froze. Glancing up at his solemn expression, I saw him shake his head.
“I want you to be my pup.”
Chapter 7
Noah
When he just sat there looking at me, I wasn’t sure what to do.
Had my answer not made sense? I tried to rephrase it. Besides, Tobias always wanted to know what I was thinking, so I decided to come clean about all of it. “When I first saw the pups online, I was...fascinated by them. They were so happy and relaxed. You don’t relax enough. You’re always stressed and tired and you don’t have a good way to completely let everything go. I thought it would be perfect for you. And...and the pups were...cute.”
Tobias’s eyes had gone wide. However, he hadn’t moved away or even subtly shaken his head like he did when he really didn’t want something but wasn’t ready to admit it. That little clue had been the only way I’d known he hated tomatoes on his pizza.
“They were cute?”
It wasn’t much, but I would take it. “Yes, they were...I want you that happy and relaxed. Not all the time. I know that’s just not who you are, but you don’t do anyth
ing to unwind. You go until you crash, but that’s not the same thing.”
I just wanted him to have a way to let his stress go.
“There’s no work when you’re a pup. There are no to-do lists or errands that have to be run. You just play and chase the ball or run around. Did you know there are even groups you can join to meet other pups?” I’d found a few different ones, all within an hour or so of us.
Tobias turned his focus back to the mask and just stared at it.
I watched him for a few minutes, but I wasn’t sure what was going through his head. He’d said it wasn’t stupid. He said the colors were pretty. But neither of those told me anything.
Finally, I gave in. “What are you thinking? You look a little like those aliens in that movie. The ones with no facial expressions.”
Tobias smiled and relaxed into me again. “You hated that movie.”
“It was creepy. People should have facial expressions.” It’d been some weird B movie we’d found as we were flicking channels one night. We hadn’t been able to resist how campy the whole thing had been, but after a while, the aliens had started to make me nervous.
He was cuddly but still quiet for a few more long moments before he started talking. They were probably the longest seconds of my life. “You asked what I was thinking. I’m just not sure I know what I’m thinking.”
“That’s not helpful.” I couldn’t help myself. The stress had eaten away at my brain.
Tobias laughed. Setting the mask down in the box, he moved the whole thing over to the other side of the bed. He continued smiling as he turned and threw one leg over mine to straddle my lap. When he was still, he cupped my cheek and shook his head like I was the most curious thing he’d ever seen.
“You’re still not talking. I think we need to work on your communication skills.”
That made him smile even wider. “I guess I’ll have work on that, then.”
I tried to look serious as I nodded, but his smile made it hard. “Good, because I would appreciate that.”
He snickered. “Okay then.” Some of his laughter faded, but his eyes were still smiling and I could see the love in them. “So where to start?”