by M. A. Innes
I rolled the idea around in my head. “That could be interesting. I wonder if there’s anything out there yet with the new tax code changes. Oh, there was something that came out a few years ago about government waste I wanted to read but never had the time.”
He barked out a laugh. “Work-related. Doesn’t count.”
“Okay, so most of the stuff I read has something to do with my job. There have to be other options.”
“How about we get a video game system? Oh wait, we got one last year and you never play because there’s always something more important that you think you need to be doing.”
That didn’t sound right. “Hey, we play sometimes.”
“Yes, when I suggest it and when I push.” I could hear the smile in his voice so I knew he wasn’t upset, but it was clear he thought I was proving his point.
“We watch movies together. That’s some kind of hobby.” It had to be.
“If I wasn’t around, would you take a Saturday afternoon and just veg out and watch movies or even go to the theater?” The question was worded like he was curious, but it sounded a bit smug like he already knew the answer.
“I might.” No, I’d probably head into work for a few hours or run errands and get caught up on stuff.
Noah snorted. “You need a way to relax.” Noah was firm, like he’d found something he was willing to fight for. But frustratingly enough, he was willing to fight for me.
“Okay, I’ll give you that.” It would be hard to deny at that point, especially since it was so endearing. “But a BDSM club?”
Noah took a deep breath and was quiet for a moment before he spoke. “I don’t want to be tied up in public or anything like that. I’ll be honest and admit that there are things I’d like to explore at home, but I know you’re not always comfortable with that stuff so it’s okay if we don’t. But I don’t want people to see me like that.”
My first thought was thank god.
“I wouldn’t want that either. Don’t worry. We’re on the same page with that.” I hadn’t quite been on the same page with him about everything else, though. The first thing that flashed through my head when he’d talked about a BDSM club and me being a pup was that I’d end up his submissive in some odd turn of events.
“I don’t need anything to change at home. I mean, I like what we do and what you’re comfortable with.” I could hear the uneasiness in his voice, and I instinctively turned my head to kiss him gently.
“I love what we do too, and I’m sorry I’m a bit...that I’m hard to talk to about this stuff.”
Noah immediately felt the need to defend me, even from myself. “You’re not hard to talk to. Just a bit...careful.”
Even I could see how much of an understatement that was.
However, I wasn’t sure it was the right time to dig through my mountain of issues. “You are the most important part of my life. I’m sorry if I ever made you doubt that.”
He immediately shook his head, but it felt like he was downplaying how frustrating it could be. Not wanting to argue, especially about how difficult I’d been, I turned our conversation back around to the puppy play.
It wouldn’t be any easier, but it wouldn’t make him feel like he was criticizing me. Pointing out something that was frustrating him wasn’t the same thing as bitching at me, but Noah wouldn’t see that. He’d only see that he’d made me upset and blame himself.
I started turning the hood over in my hands. “You’ve been thinking about this for a while.”
“Yeah.” Noah tentatively reached out a hand and stroked it over the muzzle. “When I first saw it online it was...startling, but then I started thinking about it and it seemed perfect for you.”
“I’ve just never seen myself in...that kind of role.” I wasn’t sure what I meant, but Noah took a stab at it.
“You see them as submissive?” Something about his tone of voice said we weren’t looking at it the same way.
“Don’t you?”
“No.” Then my quiet teddy bear took a deep breath and stroked over the ears of the hood. “I know that other people do sometimes, but it didn’t feel that way to me. People with pets always think their pets are their equals, so why is this any different?”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Luckily, as he started to continue, it seemed that I didn’t have to.
“You need a way to tune out the rest of the world. If you wanted me to throw the ball, I would. If you wanted me to rub you, or if you were like the pup Prince and wanted to get off, I’d do that for you. I’m not sure that sounds like I’m the one in...in control of the situation.” Noah smiled and reached over into the box to grab the mitts, rolling them in his hand. “I’m just the one with the fingers.”
His joke made me smile, but I still had no idea what to say. Having to tell him that made me feel like a failure. At the very least, I should know if I liked the idea or not. “I always have opinions on everything. I’m not an indecisive person, but this is...I should be able to make a decision on this.”
Noah set the mitts on the mattress and wrapped me in his arms. Sliding down a bit on the bed, he pulled me with him so we were stretched out together, the hood pressed between us. “Why should you need to have a strong opinion about it just from looking at it?”
Pressing a kiss to the top of my head, he held me close. “Just because I knew I was drawn to it right away doesn’t mean it will work the same way with you. We can watch more videos. We can talk to people in the lifestyle. That might be a good way for you to get a better feel for it. When you’re ready, we can even try on the hood and see how being a pup feels.”
When I was ready...
I closed my eyes and focused on the rhythm of Noah’s breathing and the way he held me. Blanking out my thoughts as best I could, I tried to bring things back in focus as if it were a problem at my job.
If I were being offered a new project at work that was very different from how I normally saw my career, what would I do?
Noah continued to hold me in silence as I worked my way through the internal debates and discussions. Looking at it like work made some of the process easier. If it were a new project, then I’d first have to decide if I would flat-out refuse.
Some things in life would just be an immediate no.
I forced my mind back to earlier when Noah had first talked about puppy play...the first time I’d seen the videos...
I hadn’t been repulsed by it. I hadn’t been turned off. I’d been confused and honestly a bit worried that he wanted me to take...to take a more submissive role.
Fuck.
It was becoming painfully obvious that I had to stop ignoring that side of our relationship. I wasn’t a confused college kid anymore. I wouldn’t be shoved out half-naked and scared if I brought it up. Shit. Noah brought it up in a thousand little ways without using the words he knew made me uncomfortable. It was something Noah not only would tolerate but wanted.
He’d accept it if the puppy play wasn’t my thing. However, Noah would pester me until I found a way to turn everything off and let go, but he’d understand if I said no.
Did I want to say no?
I opened my eyes and focused on the hood between us. Putting it away or even sending it back didn’t feel like the right option. No matter how it turned out, I needed to give it a fair chance. Noah deserved that much.
I thought back to his options. Talk to someone...wait and research more. If it was a work project, what would I do to help make my decision?
That was easy. Research and look through the information they already had available for me. Research was easy no matter what the topic. I would clearly have to look at more of the sites Noah had found. But would that be enough for a first step?
I’d always been very hands-on, even with numbers.
Would watching videos and reading be enough?
“I think I want to try on the hood.” Noah seemed to visibly start at my words, and I had a feeling he’d been lost in his own world while I tho
ught about everything he’d said. “I won’t know how it feels or even if it would be possible to sink into that headspace if I don’t try it on.”
Noah brought his hand up to my face and gave me a tender smile that seemed to be thanking me. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”
I was going to get dressed up as a pup...I had a feeling I would never look at Valentine’s Day the same way again.
Chapter 9
Noah
Tobias was going to be such a happy puppy.
He just needed to relax first. I had a feeling helping him get to that point would be my job. Kissing his forehead, I smiled. “I’ll be right back.”
Grabbing the tail, I quickly hurried to the bathroom and cleaned it off before coming back to the bedroom. Looking around the room as I walked back over to the bed, I tried to look confident. “Let’s do this on the floor so that if you want to walk around once you’re dressed, it will be easier.”
Tobias didn’t seem to know what to say and hadn’t seemed to move in my absence, but he nodded like my logic was sound. Grabbing the blanket off the end of the bed, I spread it out on the floor so it would cushion his body against the rough feel of the carpet, and I tossed the tail to one side.
Kicking off my shoes, I unbuttoned the cuffs of my shirt and rolled up the sleeves. Tobias watched, smiling somewhat nervously as I took off my tie and got more comfortable. When I was ready, I reached for his hand. “Come here. Let’s get you undressed.”
Tobias was not his usual bossy self as he climbed off the bed, but I knew that was to be expected. He needed time to get used to it and move past the this is kinky rambling I knew was going through his head. Once it became more comfortable for him, I knew he’d have a thousand opinions on the way I was supposed to get him ready or how his tail should look.
Some of the pups on the internet were sweet and obedient, but mine would be bossy and horny.
Once he stopped being nervous.
As Tobias stood up, I reached over and moved the puppy accessories closer to the edge of the bed. Accessories? Gear? Clothes?
Gear?
“Let’s get you undressed and then we’ll get your gear on.” Yes, gear sounded better. “Do you want me to take off your clothes?”
Putting the ball back in his court seemed like a good idea since one of his main issues seemed to be submitting. I hoped he understood that wasn’t what I wanted at all. I just wanted to be able to take care of him, not be in charge.
Huuuge difference.
Tobias smiled, and he reached out to run his hand over my chest. “You can.”
A thrill shot through me. It would be just like the times I got to wash him in the shower and put him to bed. I didn’t like the fact that he would wear himself down to that point, but I loved being able to care for him like that. He was always so strong and in control that when we found the quiet moments where I could give back to him the same way he’d done for me, it always seemed special.
Reaching for his shirt, I took my time unbuttoning it and slowly stripping it off him. When it was draped over the end of the bed, I walked around behind him and pulled him back against me so I could stroke over his chest and arms. Tobias had never seemed to mind that I was physically larger than he was, so it didn’t surprise me when he sighed and relaxed back, closing his eyes.
I took my time caressing over him in long, slow motions that had him making more low, content sounds. When I ran my fingers over his nipples and used the pads of my fingers to massage the muscles of his pecs, he groaned and arched his chest up to demand more.
Following his quiet instructions, I worked over the tight area until I could feel that his body had started to relax. When I moved slowly down his torso and reached his pants, Tobias reluctantly straightened so I could free him of his clothes. The pants fell to the floor under the weight of the belt. When I knew he was steady, I moved back around in front of him and knelt down to help free him from the fabric.
Tobias reached out a hand and rested it on my shoulder as he lifted his legs up one at a time. When I had his pants and socks off, I laid them on the end of the bed. Turning back to Tobias, I looked up for permission before reaching for his boxer briefs. He smiled as he gave me a slow nod and reached his hand out to stroke down my face. “You take very good care of me.”
Pleasure and love flooded through me, and I wanted to wrap him in my arms and hold him tight. But I had a feeling that would distract us both from our goal. So instead, I smiled and kissed the tip of his thickening cock through the fabric before I pulled back and smiled up at him. “I like taking care of you.”
I had a feeling he didn’t understand how good it felt to see him happy and to know I helped make him content and relaxed. With no way to really explain it, I pushed the thoughts out of my head and reached for his boxer briefs. As I eased them down over his cock, it started to thicken more under my gaze.
He knew what the plan was, so his responding had to be a good thing, right?
I wished I knew.
I made sure to massage his legs as I slowly worked the briefs down. When he’d stepped out of them, he seemed to instinctively know it was time for him to kneel down as well. With his clothes out of the way, Tobias carefully lowered himself to the floor beside me and kissed me gently.
Neither of us said a word as I reached for the gloves. In my mind, I thought working my way up to the hood and tail might be the easiest, but part of me wanted to ask Tobias what he thought. I told myself there was probably no right or wrong way to do it and we could talk afterward, but it was still hard.
Tobias had a curious look on his face as he stared down at the mitts on his hands. They were designed to protect his hands as well as help him get into his role, but on their own, Tobias just seemed to think they were odd. Not worrying yet, because we had a long way to go before he could really sink into his role, I shifted to put his knee pads on as well.
With both sets on, Tobias took a deep breath and leaned forward so that he was resting on all fours. His expression said he felt awkward, but it was so easy to picture how the rest would look on him. I thought he was beautiful.
I had a pretty good feeling he wouldn’t believe me, though, so I kept that to myself for a little while longer.
Hood or tail?
I couldn’t decide which to pick next. Finally, I decided on the tail so that the hood would complete the look. I was also hoping that the tail would distract Tobias from any nerves. He was a little too quiet, and I wasn’t sure what he was thinking, so getting more turned on could only be a good thing. At least then, he wouldn’t think at all.
When he saw me reach for the tail, his expression went back and forth between interest and something like skepticism. I couldn’t decide if he was questioning his decision to try it or if he wasn’t sure how good it would really feel. Since there was probably a mix of both, I ignored it.
Reaching into the bedside drawer, I grabbed the lube and brought the tail closer to him. Tobias might have been a bit nervous, but his body knew what it wanted. As I spread the lube on my fingers, I smiled as a shiver ran through him. His pleasure seemed to mount as I moved my hand and my fingers started circling his hole.
He was always tight, but I knew he would open up easily. When I teased over his hole with one finger, he moaned as his body relaxed for me. One finger slid inside him and I started slowly fucking him, stretching him just enough that the tail would go in easily but still give him a little bit of a burn like I knew he wanted.
Since we weren’t in any hurry, I let the slow caress continue for some time, occasionally brushing over his prostate. When his head had fallen forward and his ass had arched up demanding more, I added a second finger and stretched him for just a moment before pulling out.
Tobias didn’t appreciate it when the pleasure ended, but his frustrated sound stopped as the plug part of the tail pressed against his entrance. A shiver raced through him and a sexy moan echoed in the room as I slowly eased the plug into him. Tobias’s body seemed t
o hum with pleasure as the thickest part of the plug stretched him.
When it was fully seated, I brushed my hand over the tail part and marveled as he groaned and arched as the toy nudged deep inside him. I wasn’t sure if words would make him remember how nervous he’d been or not, so I silently played with his tail, encouraging him to wag it back and forth. As Tobias got used to the movement, he started swing it on his own and moaned as the pleasure seemed to hit him in waves.
I knew he’d love that part.
“That’s just—”
He’d probably intended to say something like weird, but I interrupted. “Sexy.”
His head jerked around like he hadn’t expected me to say that, but his tail wagged. His head was saying one thing, but his ass another?
“You think so?” Tobias was obviously still thinking with his human, very confused brain, but something about his expression said the experience wasn’t as bad as he thought it might be. It would get even better once he started to let everything go and figure out what kind of pup he would be.
“Oh yes.” I’d been teasing the tip of the tail to make it wag, so as he gave me that questioning look, I trailed my fingers up the tail and around his hole before slowly caressing up his back. “It’s incredible. I love the way your cock jerks when you wag the tail.”
Tobias had stopped wagging once we’d started talking about it. That wouldn’t help him get into the right frame of mind, though. I trailed my fingers down his back and around the base of the plug again. “It’s so sexy; do it again for me. Please?”
That earned me a skeptical look, but he sighed and finally did it again. As the pleasure struck him, he made a low, needy sound and his cock swung back and forth like it was begging for attention. “God, you look...” I slid my hand down his thigh and under him so I could wrap my fingers around his cock.
As I stroked him with a loose grip, he thrust downward into my hand, not only nudging the plug but also giving me the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen. He was humping my hand. It was so...there was no way he’d understand it from my perspective.