by Zoha Kazemi
“By the way! Mart said that the First Disciple had sent for you…you handed me a bucket before I had a chance to say!”
“Now? Should I go right now?” he asks excitedly. Lealy nods. She points to him to stop a few seconds and listen to another matter that she has remembered.
“One more thing! Farnab had been looking for you the whole day. He said he had an important matter to discuss with you.” But Tirad knows Farnab never has an important matter, he just likes to fuss about everything. He doesn’t say anything about Farnab and leaps over to the door.
Their paths will separate before the cabin door. Tirad has to go to the stairway hatch at the end of the corridor and Lealy has to go to the deck to wash the bucket. For an instance, they become shoulder to shoulder and Lealy turns to face Tirad. She is nearly his height and without having to keep her head up, she can see her own reflection in Tirad’s pupil. Tirad panics as he feels Lealy’s deep breath against his face and the way their eyes have framed each other’s reflection. He avoids the kiss that he so greatly desires and turns his head towards the corridor.
“Did he say why Hurmaz wants to see me?” he asks. Lealy seems disappointed.
“I have no idea! Mart said that there is a meeting of the Saviour Circle… The First Disciple had asked for both you and Mart to attend,” she says wagging her hands.
“But only the second-tier disciples can enter the Circle meeting! Not me and Mart! Are you sure?” Tirad asks quickly before Lealy leaves. She doesn’t know and seems not to care anymore. Lealy sets off murmuring to herself. Tirad watches her leave for a few seconds and turns back walking towards the stairway.
Chapter 3
The Circle meetings are usually held in Hurmaz’s cabin. Tirad climbs down the spiral staircase to the lowest floor, three levels beneath the ground floor of the stranded Saviour Ship. The library and the largest cabin of the ship that belong to Hurmaz, the First Disciple, are located there. The lowest floor sunk in the sands of the Saviour Island is dark and there are only a few oil lamps that merely light up the staircase and the corridor to Hurmaz’s cabin. Although electricity has had found its way to the Island in the past years, the use of generators and even solar panels are still forbidden in the Saviour Ship. Tirad had asked the reason for this many times before. The best and most acceptable answer he was given was that there was no electricity in the time of the Saviour and its best that the Saviour Ship stays the same way as it was found many years ago. Any essential changes of the Saviour Ship could result in the aberration of Saviour Disciples. Tirad does not wish to be misdirected from the true ways of the Saviour. Therefore, he tries not to frown every time the malodourous smell of the fish oil lamps fills his nose. He bears the bad smell of the lamps and their dim light with the pride of a true Saviour Disciple.
He stands behind the darkness of Hurmaz’s cabin for a moment. He strokes his long, thin hair and his beard, tightens his loincloth and straightens the cloth he has put over his shoulders. He can hear men talking from behind the door. His heart is pounding rapidly both from running in the staircase and the stress of entering the Circle for the very first time. He can feel his own heartbeat and the blood rushing through his aorta to his heart. He even feels that the hole in his heart valve has widened mixing up the blood from his arteries and veins with every pump. His mind is filled with questions, full of vague words that seem to fade away in an uproar of sound and noises. He doesn’t have enough time to give into his thoughts and guess why the Circle has invited him and Mart to their meeting. He wants to feel positive and hopeful and perhaps this anxiousness comes from the unconscious desire he seeds inside of becoming a Circle member. But he has to be careful not to promise himself anything. The Circle doesn’t allow the third-tier disciples to get in so easily, especially Tirad who has never left the Saviour Ship as a missionary. He had heard rumours that Hurmaz had been considering him and Mart to be upgraded to second tier disciples and enter the Circle. Perhaps the time for his great mission has arrived. But he still feels the crushing of the small water snake under his feet. He regrets not having enough time to clean himself of this wrongdoing before he goes into the meeting. He has unintentionally killed a defenceless being and lied to the girl about it. These are not positive signs. He feels sick in his stomach and is hardly able to swallow his saliva. He pressures his hand against his soaring stomach and comforts himself with the thought that maybe killing the snake is not really a malevolent gesture. It may be an irrelevant and random accident or even an insignificant occurrence. He doesn’t have to worry about it because even though he didn’t kill it on purpose, he will seek forgiveness from the sea at tomorrow’s Spawn-Scorching ceremony. He may not even need a full purity, as he doesn’t know what the Circle meeting is about. His first great mission seems too farfetched. It may be a meeting about Farnab and Tirad’s other fourth tier disciples to decide whether they should be sent as missionaries or not. But he can’t loop in his questions any further. He should stop the overthinking and go in where the answers dwell. He takes a deep breath, nocks and enters the cabin.
The cabin is as dark as the corridor with a dim light of an oil lamp that barely lights up the round table and the faces of the Circle members sitting around it. Hurmaz stands upon Tirad’s entrance and welcomes him to the meeting. He offers him a seat next to himself. But the six ‘second tier disciples’ that make up the Circle remain seated and coldly greet Tirad from their seats. Mart is sitting amongst them, brooding. The way he is sitting has made his back hunched and he looks like a mischievous boy awaiting his punishment. He glances at Tirad and seems to have found a renewed confidence, straightens his back and releases the tension from his shoulders. He now looks like one of the main Circle members and the only things that distinguish him from them are the lack of age lines around his eyes and brows and the purple turban that the second-tier disciples tie around their necks. Hurmaz pours him water from a steel pitcher that is on the table. Tirad thanks him and even though all eyes are fixed on him, he drinks the water and sighs. His heartbeat is calmer but his stomach soars even more. The men of the Circle turn their faces towards Hurmaz and await his speech.
Hurmaz explains that the emergency Circle meeting is to solve the problem of the southern ship refugees that have fled to Oxan and built a temporary floating harbour attached to the island. The refugees come from five marginal but crucial ships of the area: Tiraje, Ariana, Susana, Summer and Hoot. All five are fishing ships and the Oxan Island has not allowed the refugees to enter the land. Most of the refugees are women and children who claim that schools of large fish have attacked their fishing boats and killed their fishermen. The Oxan Island does not have the capacity to provide them with shelter, food and water and according to the Saviour Rules, they are not allowed to let the sea residents enter the island without permits, in this case permits granted by the Circle. On the other hand, the refugees claim that they have been put in this position because of obeying the Saviour Rules that stops them from fighting and killing the giant fish. Now it all lies in the hands of the Circle to find a way out of this situation. Hurmaz emphasises that this problem has to be taken care of before the dry season ends or the storms and rainfalls of the rain season might take the lives of the refuges.
A grave silence takes over for a minute. Hurmaz speaks again breaking the silence and asks the second-tier disciples of the Circle to come up with a plan. The first to speak is Chooman, the youngest member of the Circle, a man with a full, black beard and curly hair.
“I believe that Oxan is right not to let the refugees in! The Sea residents should not beholden us or Oxan for obliging the Saviour Rules! They have to go back to their ships and live their lives as before…” says Chooman, but his words are clipped by the eldest member of the Circle.
“This isn’t about who is right and who is not. We shouldn’t take any sides. The refugees wouldn’t abandon their homes if they didn’t have any real problems. I believe we should send our missionaries to the whereabouts of their ships to
investigate. We need to know what the main reason of their fleet is,” says Akhgar.
“We don’t have enough time,” replies Hurmaz.
“If we wait for our boats to go and come back, the rain season has already started,” he continues. The men nod agreeing with him. Tirad is trying to come up with something, although he is not sure if he is allowed to give his opinion; whether he is invited as a consultant in the matter or for some other reason. He doesn’t even have the confidence to break the silence and ask if he is allowed to speak. He is unsure of the probable reaction of the men. Would they laugh at him or scorn? What he is most afraid of is to disappoint Hurmaz.
Chooman breaks out the silence asking, “Why didn’t they go to another island? Harlan is closer to them and they are not committed to the Savoir Rules. Harlan would have taken them in.”
“It’s not the matter of distance! Tiraje is one of our ships and they live by the Saviour Rules. And you do know that since the war, Harlan won’t easily let our people in,” Hurmaz replies. Tirad knows that Hurmaz refers to the war between Oxan and Harlan twenty years ago, the war in which many soldiers and missionaries of Harlan Island were killed by the Saviour followers. The Saviour Ship had warned Harlan many times to stop their missionaries from advertising the pre-rain religions on the Oxan ships. Many of the marginalised ships had converted and many more were at the threshold of denouncing the Saviour. After the defeat of Harlan, they only allow those who have converted to enter their land.
“You do also know that Atlan has taken up this trait. But for now, as long as they trade with us, all is well,” Hurmaz continues. He narrows his eyes and straightens his back and looks at each face, even Tirad and Mart, making them listen carefully to what he is about to say.
“No one must know of our problem, neither Harlan nor Atlan or any other island. Be careful about this. The Saviour Rules are at stake here. The residents of Tiraje had asked for our permission to kill the giant fish that attacked their fishing boats over a year ago. But we did not allow them to do so… This problem falls back on us too,” he says. Tirad bends forward to calm his soaring stomach with the pressure of his hand. He has to eat something. But this meeting doesn’t seem to end any time soon. It is not a simple matter and he can’t think of anything. The more he tries to concentrate on the issue at hand, the less he is able to put his mind around it. He wishes he were at the Spawn-Scorching ceremony instead of this meeting, to gaze at the dancing flames of the fire and feel the burning spawns on his shoulder. That is the only thing that could calm him right now. He would put scorched spawns on his heels as well to purify himself from the snake’s death. His thoughts are drawn to the little serpent and the girl’s uncertain look. He suddenly breaks the silence that has once again taken over the cabin and without being certain of his permission to speak or even lingering on the thought that has just come to his mind, utters his question.
“Can’t we just allow them to kill the giant fish as a defence? Only if they attack them and for the sole reason of saving their own lives?” Tirad asks, as he lowers his voice and fades the last words that come out of his mouth. His voice trebles and stretches like he is whining as he finishes his sentence. The men of the Circle start talking two by two and whisper to one another. Tirad knows now that he has spoken out of his place and throws down his head in shame wishing in his heart that Hurmaz reacts to him with mercy. But Hurmaz doesn’t say anything. Khunas starts talking instead and by hearing him speak, Tirad feels a sharp pain in his heart. It was always like this with Tirad since he was only a boy. Anytime he was punished for something or he was frightened, his heart would start to prick and he would feel pain in his chest. And Khunas would never open his mouth to talk unless he wanted to yell at someone or quarrel. He was Tirad’s teacher years ago; the unrelenting teacher of the Saviour Ship and the strictest member of the Circle. He had punished Tirad and other students many times. One time, he had thrown Tirad out of the ship and had ordered him to sleep outside under the pouring rain, and if it wasn’t for Hurmaz’s meddling, Tirad would have probably died alone outside out of cold. Tirad feels the pouring rain once again, as his whole body starts to sweat out of shame and once again, he awaits Hurmaz’s rescue after Khunas finishes his sentence.
“Didn’t I tell you not to let these two attend the meeting? We have been talking about this matter for over a year now!” he yells and looks directly at Tirad.
“We cannot allow any such thing! Who can say if they kill the giant fish out of defence? If we let them do this, they will start killing the fish as they wish and declare it was to defend themselves… They will start to undermine the Saviour Rules one by one…we can’t control them! Who knows to which wrongdoing of these people are we caught in this disaster?” Khunas continues with scowled face and shakes his head. The other members agree with him except for Hurmaz who is still silent. From his frowning and the way he tightly presses his lips together, it is obvious that they have had this debate before and he is trying hard not to answer Khunas in rage. Tirad can’t keep his head high from the spate of Khunas’s angry words. But he can feel Mart’s scoffing look upon him. The murmurs continue between the men. Hurmaz invites them all to calm down.
“Yes! We had talked about this. And we also agreed that Mart and Tirad should be sent to Oxan as our representatives to solve the crisis. Perhaps it would have been better if we had invited them to the Circle sooner…” Hurmaz says with a steady voice. Tirad finally understands why he was invited to the meeting and feels the sweet taste of Lealy’s potions that she sometimes prescribes for him to soothe his soaring stomach. He finally raises his head and looks at the members of the Circle who are still whispering to one another. Mart smiles proudly. Tirad’s first mission for the Saviour Ship is finally handed to him, and what a difficult mission it is! Tirad knows he can’t say another word or ask any more questions. He just needs to await the final decision of the Circle and execute them successfully and exactly as they are ordered. He has already made up his mind and is eager to do whatever it takes to finish this mission and come back to Circle with his head high. Even though this mission has to be done with Mart’s collaboration and means having to tolerate him in the journey. Hurmaz silences the Circle once more and says, “Our next meeting shall be held tomorrow after the Spawn-Scorching ceremony. Come back with ideas and plans for this issue. We don’t have much time. Our meeting with the Oxan officials is on Thursday night. It means that our representatives must set off to Oxan at the latest, the day after tomorrow… That’s it for now…” the Circle members get off their chairs one by one and exit the cabin in pairs. Mart leaves behind the last member. Tirad stands up and waits for everyone to leave and steps towards the doorway. But Hurmaz stops him and asks him to stay a little longer. He has another important business that he wants to talk about with Tirad.
Chapter 4
Tirad was only five years old when his father entrusted him to the permanent care of the Saviour Ship. His mother had died at childbirth and his fisherman father was not able to take good care of his son. Especially that Tirad couldn’t swim. Whenever he fell into the water, he became breathless and turned blue and they had to pull him out. He couldn’t even move too much, jump, run or climb. He was weak and short-winded. Everyone knew from his childhood that he could never become a fisherman, boatman or a diver. His father had taught him how to swim but since he would suddenly lose his breath, swimming would put him in danger, hence every job that required swimming was dangerous both for him and his fellow workers. He wasn’t even able to look after the children; if any of them fell into the water, Tirad could not be trusted to get them out in time. He had to sit with the old men and women of the ship and help them with cooking and janitorial work. Tirad’s father wanted to migrate to one of the farming ships but those ships were located in Harlan province, and to enter this region, he had to remove his Saviour sea tattoo and denounce the Saviour. He was ready to do that for his son’s future and welfare. But the farming ships wouldn’t accept him
for work that had more applicants than any other profession. He was only a fisherman that didn’t know their language and had no experience in farming. He had thought that he could wait until Tirad became older and send him off to a farming ship, but the thought of separating from his son even in the future saddened him.
Tirad was the only thing his wife had left behind for him. His wife was a brave woman, although very slick; she would work side by side with him and other fishermen on the sea. Sometimes, he thought to himself how was it that Tirad had not inherited much from him or his mother. He had even questioned his wife’s chastity in his mind but had never allowed these kinds of thoughts to distance him from his son. Their ship didn’t have too many occupants and such betrayals would never go unnoticed by the sharp eyes of the prying, old women and jealous girls of the ship. He knew Tirad’s mother since they were children. She loved the sea and the boats and if they would let her, she preferred to spend the nights on the boats rather than on the ship. They had fallen in love on their first fishing trip together. They were among five other fishermen on a trip that lasted a few weeks on the water. They had announced their engagement right after the fishing group disembarked their fish cargo on the ship. A year later, right about the time Tirad was conceived, a Saviour Missioner had come to their ship and officially wed them by Saviour Rituals. The missioner had warned Tirad’s mother not to go to the sea to fish before her child was born. The missioner could not prevent her by referring to the Saviour Rules. He had just told her that the waves and the heavy lifting work could harm the foetus. But Tirad’s mother, like many other girls of the sea, would not listen to such warnings.
It was the same with the diver women. They would refuse to stop their diving activities some of them until near childbirth. The diver women would swim side by side the men and dive deep to the drowned city to mine for plastic, bricks and steel that was still usable. Some believed that the drowned cities enchanted them by their mysterious labyrinth of ruined buildings and destroyed roads. Once they saw the magnificent fallen grace of the pre-rain cities, they couldn’t resist going back, gazing at mankind’s greatest construction ravished by the giant waves. Not wanting to be idle was only an excuse. It was the thrill, the adventure and the mystery of the fallen cities that addicted them to diving. Fishing was less mysterious, but the thrill of the waves still drew the fishers to the sea. Tirad’s father sometimes blamed his wife’s childbirth death and Tirad’s physical weakness on the fishing trips that his wife had taken during the first few months of her pregnancy. But these thoughts would neither bring her back nor solve the problems of his weak son. To avoid this long-lasting grief, he had drowned himself with work. He seldom came back to the ship and would go fishing even in the rain seasons. The whole time on long fishing trips-away from Tirad, he thought about him and how he grieved for having to be separated from his son sometime in the future; he never knew that this future was closer than he could imagine.