by Zoha Kazemi
“Hurmaz must have seen how fragile you are and didn’t dare to tell you the truth, afraid of breaking you like this…but you had to face it sometime and it would never be easy,” she says. Tirad doesn’t like to be called fragile. Hurmaz must have given him the Parsana exile sentence so that Tirad would search and find this truth. Still he doesn’t find Armina’s words to be logical. If they believe they hold the truth, why have they not acted on it before? They could have done something in the war, fighting against the so-called false followers of the Saviour – as she puts it – not among them. He tells her these.
“How could someone be right and not want to prove it?” he asks.
“Sometimes, the truth doesn’t matter. Whoever holds the power, creates the truth in the shape they see fit. We couldn’t act on it, not now, not thirty years ago or even hundred years ago since we are put aside from any real power. Hami was too smart to spread his fake beliefs knowing that no belief would hold without the back support of an economical power system… He knew how to do it and had set up a precise trade system that would only work if the Saviour Rules hold. Right now, we have to go to Atlan to buy our supplies. Having been wiped out from the Oxan and the Saviour map hadn’t served us well but still we insist on our rightfulness,” Armina explains and hands the parcel to Tirad.
“These are the accounts of all the corrupt dealings and contracts of the Saviour Ship… All the Circle members, most of the disciples especially a third-tier disciple named Mart are involved,” she says. Tirad takes the documents excitedly, hoping to use them with the coins he has found belonging to Mart. He could go back and prove his innocence, tell the truth and overthrow them all… But Armina is not so hopeful.
“Don’t keep your hopes high! I took a look at the documents to see why they were left to you… Do you know why?” she asks. Tirad thinks because Hurmaz trusted him but he is not sure. Hurmaz could have used the documents himself. Why did he leave them to him, to find them after his death? Why did he not stop them while he was alive? He could have tried them all and condemn them.
“There is a list of all the dealings, buying and selling contracts and the profit margins of each and so forth… The names of people responsible for each part is mentioned which includes all the Circle members, many disciples, the chiefs of Oxan and the ships etc… The only name that is not in the list is you! You can’t do anything with these documents but to lose your life. There is no authority you could take these documents to that are not involved in the corrupted dealing themselves. And they wouldn’t like their hands overturned… They won’t even listen to you! You can’t even find any allies who would care to fight for you on this, and fighting alone is a suicide. Look what happened to Hurmaz!” she says in a warning tone. Tirad looks down. He doesn’t know why she has given him these documents, raising his hopes only to take them away again instantly. Armina stands up and puts her hands on Tirad’s shoulder. She tells him their boat is brought to the central ship, and they better leave there as soon as possible. But Tirad still wants more answers.
“What about the Narratives? Parsana Narratives and the rest?” he asks. Armina says as far as she knows none of the narratives was proved to be truly written by Parsana. They know she had written things down but no one has found the original papers and what the Saviour Disciples believe to be Parsana’s narratives are only another version of Hami’s fake stories.
“What about the Saviour’s prophecy about the human babies and the fish and the suspicious deaths of the pregnant women?” he asks more eagerly to get an answer. Armina says she has never heard of such a thing and everything written in the name of Parsana were all Hami’s doing she pauses and turns to Tirad.
“I know the death numbers of the pregnant women has risen… We had some cases here. It is natural for the sea women to make love in the water and give birth in the sea… But to lose their babies and die of it is very peculiar.” She says she needs to rest now and Tirad should leave. Tirad wants her to explain about the handwritten pages of Parsana giving a strange image of the future, but Armina won’t have it. Tirad gets up and thanks her even though he is not sure what he is thanking her for, perhaps for being a reliable friend and a safe keeper to Hurmaz? For not having turned them in, to Mart and the Saviour Ship? Or for crashing all his previous beliefs that he had spent his whole life trying to keep them intact? He hasn’t accepted Armina’s narrative yet but he has listened. If it were before, he would never even allow her to say such things. Yet she had grasped his attention, perhaps because of her peculiar resemblance to Dalia or the way she treated him like Hurmaz used to do. Armina puts on her green scarf again. She ties it over her head and unties it, repeating this act several times until she is fine with it. The scarf seems to be thicker than just a one-layer cloth. He doesn’t know why he is staring at the scarf like that. Armina opens the door for him, leading him out.
“If you did find the cause of the deaths of the pregnant women, please tell me about it, would you?” she asks. Tirad accepts and goes out of the door. Dalia and Pejhan are not there. The guard tells him Dalia is on the boat and so is Narivan’s body. Tirad climbs the stairs and reaches the deck. He looks up at the sky. It is near the dusk. He hadn’t sensed the time passing. He goes to the deck ladder with the guard. Dalia is waiting for her down on the water, in their boat.
Chapter 28
Armina was right about the documents. Tirad keeps reading the list of all the transactions. Everyone is involved except for him, Hurmaz and a few newly third tier disciples like Farnab. He can’t believe Khunas has been the head of all the dived out iron and metals and the black market that was founded a few years ago. Tirad remembers that people were told there was no more iron left to be mined and dived out from the drowned city of Tehran, and the price of all metals had risen. He keeps on reading the list. The Oxan naval had taken ten thousand coins from Akhgar to store the smuggled metals, to be sold later on, three times their original price. The import of fabrics and cotton also shocks him. Everyone knew the import was reduced in the last five years to the extent that people couldn’t find or afford new fabrics. Tirad and the rest of the Saviour Ship residents were reusing and wearing the old sailcloths all this time, while he reads now that the Arash Ship have been stocking the imported fabrics from Atlan and they still haven’t released them to the market. And of course when they do, the prices would be so high that no one would be able to afford buying fabrics, except for the chiefs of Oxan and the Saviour Ship dealers. He reads on. The black market for chicken and vegetables are in the hands of Oxan chiefs who have been paying the Saviour Ship to turn the other eye. Tirad knows now why Mart was so friendly with them at the dinner table on his one night stay in Oxan. The next line is about an order that has been placed for the purchase of a large amount of boat fuels. It surprises Tirad since the Saviour Ship doesn’t have that many boats. Why would they need to place such an order and store the fuel in the Oxan storehouses? The next line explains this… The order put for the procurement of two hundred fishing boats and three hundred passenger boats that could carry fifteen people. What is the use of all these boats? he wonders. There are so many bought and stored goods, but at the top of the list with the highest quantity is guns and ammunition! This worries Tirad. The orders for the guns and ammos are placed in the names of Mart and Akhgar and are to be sent directly to the Saviour Ship. Most of the purchases are not from Ataln. They have been dealing with other islands that Tirad doesn’t know much about them. He didn’t know they were even in business with such islands. So many boats, fuels, guns and ammos are not bought to create a black market; they have a more impersonal use, perhaps a dangerous purpose.
What also amaze him are the exports! They have been selling fish as large as two hundred kilos, perhaps sharks, dolphins or other fish forbidden to be hunted down and killed according to the Saviour Rules! How could they have done this? Where have they been fishing? From which parts of the Oxan region? Could it be those parts where the fish had attacked the boats, killing
the fishers and sending their families as refugees to Oxan? He remembers Dalia’s father was sent to a fishing trip and had never returned. Now he knows why they had bought fishing boats. Fishers like Dalia’s father were probably sent off on the new boats to fish in areas further away and send back the meat to be exported. He doubts they have been paid properly for their difficult work. He knows Mart would never pay, he would just threaten and scare them and keep all the profit. Perhaps Tirad is being too pessimistic; they could all be just wild guesses. The list in itself doesn’t prove anything. There are only a few supporting documents, copies of the communication letters and the contracts. But they are just copies, not originals. Hurmaz knew he couldn’t act on these documents alone. He needs to find proof for every single one of them. But why did Hurmaz wanted him to have this list? Obviously, he didn’t mean for Tirad to join Mart and his allies, nor would he expect him to stop them and fight against them. Armina was right; it would be suicide to oppose them alone. Tirad remembers Hurmaz’s last words on the deck when he had asked him about the handwritten pages of Parsana. He had said, “I gave you this in case nothing worked out!” and then he had said, “Perhaps truth is not always the written text passed along to us… You will know when you’ll need them.” Did he mean Armina’s different version of the history? Is this the time when nothing has worked out and he needs to put his trust in Armina’s truth?
Dalia turns off the engine. She says they should throw Narivan into the water here and sail further to get away from where the body is thrown out before they stop for their night retreat. The fish will come to eat Narivan’s body and if they are close, they might get attacked. Tirad puts the documents in his leather bag and gets up to help her. Narivan’s body is covered in a blanket and rolled with a metal net. When he is thrown into the water, his body would swell and the fish can easily eat off his flesh bulged out of the net, leaving no trace of him within two days. His bones will eventually smash down from crashing to the ship bodies and washed out to the shores with the broken shells. The body is heavy and they need to drag it on the deck. The stench of the infected, decaying body is so hurried that Tirad throws up instantly. Dalia gives him some time to catch his breath but he can’t get close to the body. Dalia brings him a cloth to cover his nose and mouth, but Tirad wants to sing the Saviour Departing Hymns for Narivan and doesn’t want to cover his mouth. He needs to perform a Parting Ceremony, not just for Narivan but also for Hurmaz and Lealy. He hasn’t said goodbye to them. He wonders if Hurmaz’s body had such a malodour like Narivan’s and father Zusima’s in the Brothers Karamazov. Father Zusima had died naturally and still had a bad smell. The stench of Narvan’s body is because of the infection that had spread throughout his flesh. What about Hurmaz? He had written to Armina that they wanted to poison him; he wonders if that’s how he had died.
Tirad has never seen a body die from poisoning. Would there be blood coming out of the face, eyes, mouth or nose? Do they die without any visible marks? Or will there be swelling and livid marks around the mouth or a combination of all those? But the body will definitely have a bad smell, worst than that of Narivan’s. He imagines Hurmaz’s parting ceremony. It must have been outstanding with all the pilgrims and the disciples singing him the Departing Hymns. He wishes he was there with them…but it’s not too late to sing him the Hymns…and to say goodbye. What does it matter whose body he is throwing into the sea, he can say farewell to all his passed loved ones and wish them a prosperous life when they come back again to this world as a man or a fish. He reviews the Hymns in his mind but can’t say them out loud. He tries to murmur them, but can’t focus. He needs to take a deep breath and keep it in, to avoid inhaling the stench. He takes Narivan’s head while Dalia pulls up his legs. The body slips back to the boat. They do it over and over until they finally throw him out. Tirad takes off the cloth that covers his mouth, but he can still smell the stench. He tries not to throw up again, to stand like a Saviour Disciple, with his hands in front of him, singing the Hymns and saying farewell to all he has lost: Narivan, Hurmaz, Lealy and the refugees died in the fire:
“Man is made from water… He shall return to water… We bestow the child of the water into its care… May he comeback to us in the best of bodies… Either of man or the giant fish…”
Dalia ignores him and goes to the wheel. They need to get far away from there before dark. But Tirad follows her and as she turns on the engine, he starts questioning her about her father, asking why did he not return to Avij? Had they received any new boats from Oxan or the Saviour Ship? Did they have any special missions or a work proposal promising them good money? Dalia is not sure if the boat her father had gone with was a fishing boat or a diving boat. She is thinking, perhaps confused by Tirad’s questions.
“It was a fishing boat… A very advanced one with many tools and special equipment…” she says after putting her thoughts together.
“But you said your father was a diver, right? Why did he go with a fishing boat?” Tirad asks.
“Well… Diving age is limited, I suppose… Most divers turn to fishing after some time,” she replies after a pause but she seems unsure of her answer. She accelerates the boat to get away from Narivan’s water grave, ignoring Tirad’s demanding questions. Tirad tries to catch her attention to get clearer answers, but it is no use. Dalia is not in the mood, staring ahead at the vast grey waves. Tirad puts his hand on the wheel and makes her look at him.
“Why won’t you answer me? At least tell me where we’re going!” Tirad asks with a raised voice.
“We are going to Avij! Perhaps my father is back and you can ask him yourself!” she replies. Tirad is annoyed by her answer. They were supposed to go to Atlan and get away from the Oxan ships. He objects saying that it’s dangerous to go there, Avij might hand him over to the Saviour authorities.
“The Avij people don’t care about such matters… Don’t care about the Saviour Ship or Oxan and the burnt refugees… They know me. I will tell them you’re my husband. They won’t ask any further questions. Don’t worry! Even if they have received the warrant fliers, they will be looking for a boat with three passengers and we are only two now! You don’t look like a disciple anymore and they are not smart enough to figure it out!” she answers.
“What about your mother? Isn’t she waiting for you in Atlan?” he asks.
“The rain season will start soon. I can’t find Atlan’s route so easily. We might get lost on the way. It’s better to get to Avij before the storms start. We can be there within five days but Atlan is two weeks away! I can’t handle this boat in the storms, neither can you!” She answers avoiding her mother in her reply. She obviously doesn’t want to talk about Asin. Maybe she is mad at her for putting her into so much trouble and she had left her on purpose on the Oxan docks, trying to get away from her; maybe she is ashamed of having lost Narivan; or perhaps both. Tirad doesn’t want to annoy her about her mother any further. He needs to know more about her father and repeats his questions again. Dalia turns off the engine. She seems frustrated and crossed with Tirad. She points to the grey clouds that cover the dusk sky and says it may rain any time. She gets up and anchors the boat and turns on the lights. Tirad follows her every move. He has never seen her like this, so frantic and upset. Dalia walks towards the boat’s small deck. She is probably going for a swim. Tirad knows her routines after a week of being with her. She usually takes a swim after sailing, eats and sleeps afterwards and gets up before dawn, starting her day swimming in the water. He loves to watch her swim and enjoys looking at her smooth movement in the waves. But not now, he needs to stop her and make her talk. He takes her hand but she won’t turn to him, avoiding the conversation.
“It’s going to rain! You’ll get wet… Go into the cabin and I’ll come in shortly,” she says to Tirad. A lightning lights up the sky, suturing the clouds to the waves. Dalia takes the sign as a proof of her word and asks Tirad to leave her alone. But Tirad is worried for her, swimming in this weather. Dalia says there are n
o strong winds yet and no high waves. She turns to the boat gunwale but Tirad stops her, turning her face towards him, taking her into his arms. He kisses Dalia’s forehead. The first raindrops – signs of the end of the dry season – moist his face and Dalia’s hairless scalp. Tirad licks every drop that falls on to her smooth face and then the ones that fall on her neck, arms and bosom. Dalia gives in to his kisses and embraces him as he goes further down, beneath her belly. Tirad doesn’t want to be interrupted and won’t allow her to drag him into the water. He wants to do it on the boat this time, his more familiar realm. As they roll panting on the wooden planks, the sky lights up with more thunders. They feel a banging on the boat. It is not from their own movements, it is not the waves either. Tirad hears a sound… A familiar song that he had heard the last time they made love… The same stretched squeal that goes away as soon as they finish.
Dalia gets up. Tirad is waiting for her to jump into the water, even though it’s raining heavily and the borderline between the waves and the sky is faded. But Dalia is standing at the edge of the boat looking at the water surface, she seems puzzled. The rain falls into Tirad’s eyelashes making it hard for him to keep his eyes open. But Dalia looks ahead with her eyes wide open watching the dolphins swim away.
“They were under the boat! Did you notice it too?” she asks. Tirad nods. Dalia takes his hand and leads him to the cabin. Tirad prepares the dinner. They only have dried fish to eat. The rainfall on the cabin roof makes a humming sound inside like a lullaby. Dalia looks sleepy but Tirad can’t fall asleep with so many questions that occupy his mind. He needs to find say something to catch Dalia’s attention.