by B. B. Blaque
I counted the rooms along the hall we’d be stashed in and he was pointin’ to the sixth one. It was the most midline room—closest to us and the exit. No problem.
It took awhile to go through the whole scenario, but we got it pretty tight and as streamlined as we could. Before we decided to cut out, I pulled FOCUS to the side. I needed to talk with him and square a little somethin’ away.
“You know better than any of these guys . . . better than anyone but me . . . how much I’ve gone through for this chick. I’m not takin’ a chance of her gettin’ rescued and haulin’ ass. I can’t keep her held hostage forever, but fuck, man . . . she needs to get it through that thick habit of hers how far I’m goin’ for her.”
FOCUS lit a cigar and called for the bartender to bring him a Jager Bomb and a shot of JD for me.
“I can’t just go in and snatch her outta there and make her feel all safe and sound. Her mouth says one thing, but that little bitch’s body has walked out that fuckin’ door too many damn times to count. I would never just leave her there but, motherfucker, I wanna scare the Jesus right outta her. She needs to finally understand how much I love her. Capiche?”
My intention wasn’t ever to fuck with her faith, but I was more than ready to do whatever it took to make sure she never set foot back in a church again. She could pray all she wanted—round the clock for all I care. There was no fuckin’ way I was gonna let her get involved with any kinda organized religion unless I was ashes in an urn.
“What Bish has planned could work stellar for that . . . ya trust me?”
I nodded and prayed I wasn’t makin’ a mistake.
“Then just let it roll with him, no matter what he does. I wouldn’t steer ya wrong. When shit’s over, tell Hazard to bring her back to the clubhouse like we got planned . . . you’ll see, man. She’ll be scared alright. I can guarantee ya that.”
I couldn’t believe I was finally gonna have Fi and kill those scumbags in the same night. It was about fuckin’ time.
13
Christian Woman
I heard them whispering the night before and I was only hours away from meeting my fate. There was no way to know if Sister Isabella had gotten to speak with Crucifix or what he might’ve said if she did.
After all the pain, why would he put himself out for more to save me? I can only be doomed.
Forgive me, this is the only way I’ll ever feel him touch me again.
I don’t deserve him.
My fingers were running over the deepest marks I could find on my skin. They were his final touches even if they were with the cane. I pulled my leg up and reached around to touch a cheek. I pressed into some of the wounds and sucked in when the pain hit. Punish me please, Crucifix. I pressed again and felt the pain as my hand lay across my most unholy place.
This is the last chance I’ll ever have.
Touch me, Crucifix.
All the times I’d gone to him went across my mind’s eye. How hungry I’d been to feel him touch me one more time and use those big, rough hands to punish me. I love you, Crucifix. Feeling him inside me. Use your dirty words, bitch. Feeling his hard, thick cock pounding my pussy until I cried in pain.
My fingers were rubbing my clit and the other hand clawed into the lashes on my ass. Punish me for all I’ve done.
I could feel him going so deep that it hurt and made me jump away and how he’d always pull me back toward the pain. I need the penance. There’s none for you, sister. The meaty head of his cock thrusting and splitting me wide for his use. Use me, please. I’m his shameful slut and will be until my last breath. His hot flesh feels so good when it touches my skin and I can’t make myself stop wanting all of him—all over me—in the most sinful ways. What do you want all over you, bitch? Don’t use sterile words! I rubbed harder and faster. I want your cum. I want your sweat.
I love how he gets harder when he makes me cry and when he won’t even allow me that release. Stop crying, slut! You asked for this. Isn’t this what you wanted? Isn’t this why you came?
It’s why I went every time and when he was in control, I wanted to give him everything. When I was in the midst of a sinning orgasm, I would’ve said anything. I always meant it. I always backed out.
Please fuck me, Crucifix! I need you! I’ve always needed you and on my dying day I’m with you one last time.
With one hand, I pressed a couple of fingers into my ass and kept rubbing my clit. I remembered the first time he wouldn’t stop when he fucked me there. Say it! Now’s not the time to be virtuous, sister. How much I wanted to feel that pain for him and he made it all okay. Shut up, whore. Take my cock. This hole isn’t special. I should’ve taken it first. I cried while he did it., It hurt like hell, and then something snapped in my head. I started to buck back when I knew he wasn’t going to stop. He grabbed me hard and wouldn’t let me move. If you like it, you’re just as guilty as I am.
My fingers pumped hard enough to hurt. I wanted it to feel like he did. I rubbed faster and felt myself getting cloudy as the tingling started.
Punish me, Crucifix! Punish me with that incredible cock! Treat me like a filthy whore on the street. Quench this ungodly thirst!
I covered my head with the pillow and bit hard into the cotton case as the hand cupping my ass gripped tighter.
You don’t deserve my punishment. What makes you think you’re worthy to ask me for anything? Haven’t I done enough? The biggest penance for you is for me to walk away.
Oh, God, no! Please don’t leave me like this, Crucifix. Come back.
I’d managed to get another finger into my ass and the wounds were probably bleeding again. It’s not the same. The deep pulsing was starting and I imagined him walking away and tried to put it out of my mind.
Please don’t go. I need to feel you filling my dirty cunt like only you ever have.
The pulsing got harder and spread through my body. Each pulse was a spurt of cum from him and I started to crumble and shatter inside my soul. As tears started to rush out of my eyes under the pillow I knew they were mine, but they were all for him.
I screamed high and fast into the pillow and held it hard to my face. Why? You stupid, bitch! Why couldn’t you just leave for him? I screeched, and rolled around, clutching the pillow to my stomach. You can come for him over and over. I grabbed my unholy pussy and squeezed tight while shaking uncontrollably in a fetal position. Why the fuck didn’t you ever leave for him? One foot in front of the other was all it would’ve taken.
He left me behind to save me. He never stopped loving me.
I played that night over in my head. How broken my heart was when he brushed me away so harshly. How could I know he was saving me? My breath couldn’t make it past the tears and I probably didn’t deserve that either. I was going to pay with my life, but in that moment, it wasn’t soon enough. I’d spent most of my life causing him pain.
You just did what you always do! Your lust and selfishness has been killing him slowly and now you’re going to die because of it. The vows you think you still have are just a crutch made of guilt.
How stupid can I be?
I deserve to die.
He’d already protected me from shame and the pathetic existence I would’ve had if I’d been kicked out on the street. Like him. The time I’d spent mourning, angry, and praying to forgive and forget him when he was saving me was a waste. I dove deeper into the church—the only other safe place I knew. All the sins he continued to punish me for paled in comparison to the real sin of giving him hope and taking it away so many times. If I hadn’t been so weak, selfish, and lustful he might’ve gone on to live a normal happy life, even if it was with that club. As I lay there playing everything over in my mind, I realized I wasn’t just keeping him in limbo—I’d damned him to an agonizing, living hell.
Why, God? Why have you let me be so stupid and hateful?
It wasn’t God . . . it was all you and your self-serving shit!
My death will set him free. It’ll be the only thi
ng I can ever give him that’s selfless. I’ve betrayed him and God too many times just for my wanton desires. How could I be so horrible? I lured him into that confessional. I knew exactly what I was doing, even if I didn’t understand the magnitude or ramifications of it. Just like always, I wanted him to fuck my brains out and let me off the fuckin’ hook. See, Crucifix, I’m using my words. There is almost nothing worse I could’ve done to him. I didn’t want to lose him to all the others he was having sex with, even though he was untouchable to me. We were something that should’ve never happened and it’s all my fault!. My jealousy over someone taking my beautiful Gio from me was too much. What if I would’ve lost him? I lost him anyway until I found him again. A silly childish flirtation brought me here. Fuck me, it brought him. I don’t count anymore.
My last prayers need to be for him and I must take the biggest penance of all—death. I got up to get my brush and sat back on the bed. With the hard bristles rubbing across all the lashes, I started to pray from the deepest part of my heart.
Father, God . . . I know I’ve become worthless and until this moment of enlightenment, I didn’t realize what an absolutely evil person I’ve been. Please help me face death with a calm heart because I know dying is what I deserve. It will give Gio freedom from the torment he’s suffered for too long. The cross is not his to bear. All his bad acts come back to my transgression that day. I won’t ask forgiveness, because I am beyond redemption or any leniency. I will gladly trade my black soul for his salvation. Angel of Mercy—Michael—please take me so that he can start to live. Please, I ask you all to hear my prayers and help make it right. Amen.
14
Sold My Soul
When it was time to leave, I grabbed my kit. I hadn’t used it on anyone in a long time, and no one ever deserved it as much as those fucks. It wasn’t like the one priests usually carry when they visit patients hospitals to administer last rites. My holy water was anything but—a mixture of piss, water, and rubbin’ alcohol, not a damn thing holy about it. I didn’t have communion wafers, but I did have some half-dollars to shove in their mouths so they could try to pay their way outta Hell. Fat chance of that.
I shoved the flask with the water into my vest pocket, along with the coins and a few other things. Then I slipped my rosary beads around my neck, even though I knew it’s not where they belonged. The priests from that parish gave them to me, and it was only fair I have them present when they died.
I rode up to the Bronx to meet everyone at Fordham University. No one needed to know our business, and none of them would even think of us at a prestigious college like that. We were headed up toward West Point, to Rosethorne. Before the night was done, I’d have Fi where she belonged even if it was kickin’ and screamin’. She’d suck it up eventually.
Before anyone got there, I sat on the bike, pulled the beads off my neck, and decided to talk to God. It’d been awhile since I’d done it officially, but it seemed like a good time to say a prayer.
God . . . I know I’ve been an asshole, but I think you know my story, even though we had a pretty big fallin’ out. Needless to say, I’m not the guy I was supposed to be, but I could be worse. I’ve got a list of sins I can’t even begin to count . . . you probably know those too. I’m not tryin’ to ask forgiveness here. We both know that’s outta the question. I sold my soul for her safety a long time ago . . . you weren’t there for me in my time of need and I turned out okay. All I’m askin’ is that you help me get through this night and keep her safe. She’s all messed up, but we both sorta started behind the eight ball without much hope. Give her a break, God. I can, and she’s been nothin’ but a pain in my ass and don’t even get me goin’ on what she’s done to my heart. This ain’t about me, and that’s cool. I don’t ask for much, but this is a big one. Make sure she gets out okay. If I die in the process, so be it. I’m good with it. No hard feelin’s. Amen.
I only had a couple of minutes to wait before I heard bikes ridin’ up. It was Blitz and FOCUS. Casket and Hazard weren’t too far behind in a cage. We didn’t even get off the bikes before takin’ the hour ride north toward West Point. When we rolled up on Rosethorne, it was almost what I’d imagined it to be—massive, with brown stone walls and lots of trees. Big columns stood out front and there were windows that seemed to go on for days. It had a huge gate around it and the grass was the greenest I’d ever seen. Just like everything about Bish, it was perfectly in place.
Blitz took us around the back side of the big school and showed us through the crazy hidden doors he’d mentioned. If ya didn’t know they were there, you wouldn’t have a fuckin’ clue—trellises and ivy covered ‘em and they just fit in with the rest of the place. The secret hallway looked kind of like bein’ in a hotel and the rooms definitely gave that appearance. I was impressed.
“See that door?” Blitz pointed to the number six on the gold sign on one of the doors. “That’s where your nun is gonna be later. It’ll still be about an hour before they get dropped off. She’ll be brought to a holding suite first and then that room before the auction. FOCUS said you wanna scare her straight . . . man, if that’s the plan, don’t see her until Bish says somethin’ to ya.”
I thought about the feelings behind that idea and knew they were justified. She couldn’t go back to jerkin’ me around after what we were goin’ through and lettin’ her go wasn’t an option. They’d brainwashed her, and if that’s what it took to shake the church outta her, I’d do my worst. I wanted her to believe she was as good as dead. She needed to know that I moved heaven and earth to save her and that I walked through Hell to do it.
“You bet your ass I want her scared. You don’t gotta tell me twice about stayin’ away or leavin’ the ball in The Bishop’s court. His house, his rules.”
When we got situated in a room that looked way too good for us to even touch anything, Bish walked through the door preceded by a stream of cigar smoke.
“Gentlemen, are you ready?” He slid into a chair that looked like it should have a stripper writhing in front of it. “I’ve got things figured out and I’m sure Blitz or FOCUS told you where your girl will be for safekeeping. I’m taking point on this, and you just need to trust me to get the pieces set up for you two to knock down.”
Knocking ‘em down is good as long as they end up gettin’ knocked underground.
“Yeah, Blitz told us. How exactly are we gonna know what to do and where to be? I’m just about salivating to get my hands on these cocksuckers.” I lit a smoke and stood to pace around. It was gonna take hours for everything to fall into place and patience wasn’t a virtue I had much of. “It’s one thing for you to help . . . believe me, I’ll never forget it . . . but I’ve got a really big hard-on for these pieces of shit. I need to be the executioner, the one to give them the last rites they don’t even deserve for what they’ve done. I’ll do it my way!”
Bish shook his head and drew on the cigar. He wasn’t ruffled at all, but it wasn’t his fight entirely.
“Don’t worry, Crucifix. When the time comes, you’ll get the priests and, from what I understand, an older nun. I will get those who betrayed me and put my entire operation in jeopardy. For the time being, I need you to wait and trust that things will go exactly as I’ve planned.”
“Wait . . . an older nun?” Could it be that fuckin’ cunt? “Two priests and a nun? Did you get names?”
I didn’t know how he got his information, and it didn’t matter. We had a jumpstart and knowledge was the key.
“It seems that the traitors in my circle have a traitor of their own. The names I was given were Lombardi, Foley, and a Sister Antoinette. They are yours and you’ll have the entire basement at your disposal.”
My heart was racin’. Lombardi and that fuckin’ skeeze! I wondered if the Foley was Sean, whom we’d come up with in the orphanage. That prick was always lickin’ the priests’ asses and I was almost sure he was the one who ratted me out. I’d know him on sight. They had to have been gunnin’ for Fi, expecially if that
slimebag was involved. We’d been friends at one point and his dick was just as dirty as mine. He never got her and that chapped his ass. Gettin’ rid of me was probably an attempt to have her to himself. Dumb Irish prick never had a chance.
“I think I know them all. We’re takin’ ‘em out . . . I just want it to be FOCUS and me doin’ the deed . . . hope that fits with your plan because it’s non-negotiable.” I looked over at Casket and Hazard. “Sorry, guys. It’s gotta be this way.”
The Bishop stared into me and saw that I was serious about not budgin’. It was gonna get taken care of, no matter what. I didn’t wanna get into a pissin’ contest with him, but it was one of the last things I might get to do with my partner in crime at my six. I was lucky to have FOCUS there. He was also the sergeant at arms and in any other situation, it’d be the two of us.
“I have no complaints about that other than one stipulation. Blitz will join you as back-up just in case. The two of you will get your private time with the clergy, but he’ll be the one to extract the other nuns. My understanding is there will only be two others. Both of your guys can drive Sister Fiona out of here and go back to the City. Then I’ll give those three scumbags over to you.” He got up, walked toward me, and extended his hand. “Is that satisfactory?”
I hadn’t thought about how we’d get her out of there while I took care of them. She could watch me slit their throats if she wanted, but it wouldn’t be my first choice. Taking my time with them and keeping her eyes from seeing the carnage was probably the best option.
“Yeah, I can more than deal with that. As long as she’s safe and FOCUS is by my side, we’re good.”
“Well, then. You’ll know how to proceed when the time is right. It’ll take awhile. The auction will start in three hours. The event must proceed so no suspicions are raised. That’s where you’ll have to trust me. I wish I could give you more specifics, but at this point, there aren’t any. We wait.”