by B. B. Blaque
“I think it’s time for you to get cleaned up.” She looked at me with the first sly smile I’d seen since she showed up at the Mounds a few nights before. Did she smile then? “Oh, no . . . I don’t mean like that. I’m sure after all the shit you’ve just been through, you need to actually be clean . . . like washed . . . in a shower.”
She pouted and I spun her around, grabbed one of my old t-shirts, and a pair of sweats before pushin’ her toward the door. When we got into the bathroom, I thought about Rattler touchin’ her and about what he’d said before he died. Mouthwash.
“First things first . . .”
I handed her the bottle and she took a big swig, swished, and then did it again. While she was doin’ that, I grabbed a few towels and let the water heat up. We’d done a lot of crazy things sexually and with the intense penance I’d made her serve, but we’d never done anything as simple as showerin’ together. She needed to know she was safe, and when I thought about it, I’d never gone outta my way to make a chick feel safe. I’d protected a few, but makin’ the effort to actually give them the feelin’ of safety, nah, that wasn’t my deal.
None of them were her. None of them would ever be her.
“Okay, now let’s start washin’ the slime of the Catholic Church off ya . . . not for nothin’, but it made me feel better when I did it way back when in this exact shower.” I peeled off my t-shirt and remembered all the shit that’d happened earlier and hoped there wasn’t any of their blood where she’d nestled into my chest. I needed to wash all of that crap off just as much as she did, and lookin’ at her standin’ there wrapped in my sheet and nothin’ else made me smile inside. Anything other than that fuckin’ habit, but in a sheet from my bed, it was even better. I pulled down the black material, wrapped my fingers through Fi’s, and led us into the shower.
“Ya know it’s too late to take back what ya said before . . . it was too late as soon as your friend showed up at my club.”
“I know . . . I finally know.”
I shut the door behind us and cornered her against the wall as she whispered, “Believe me, Crucifix. I had a lot of time to think and pray while I waited in the rectory. In my soul, I know. God gave me the answer to a prayer I never dared dream of.”
My lips found hers and I tried to hold back and be gentle before sinkin’ my tongue in to devour her. I pulled her around in front of me without lettin’ go of that incredible mouth, and when the water started to spray between us I drank every drop from her lips. It was such a new feelin’. Warmth. Love. Peace. Home. I pushed her back against the wall and started to kiss deeper and harder.
Slow down. Don’t freak her out.
“I know you aren’t used to me bein’ soft with you, but you could use a little of that shit.”
I grabbed some shampoo and began to wash her hair. As the suds slid down her body, I took in every foam-covered inch and ran my hands through the wet, red strands. I couldn’t help myself, natural reaction I guess—my fingers reached up to the top of her neck and fisted a handful of hair as I pulled her back to my mouth. Fi didn’t move away and stretched back as my teeth caught the ivory white skin of her neck.
Clamp down. Draw blood. Mark her for everyone to see.
Slow your roll, motherfucker!
“Baby, there’s more to you than pretty red hair and lips. Lemme get the rest of it.” I quickly washed every inch of her. I knew bein’ with her too long would flip my switch and I was havin’ a helluva time holdin’ back. My hard cock was unmistakable, but the cravings in my head and heart were makin’ it a million times worse.
“Crucifix . . . can we . . . can you . . . ya know, be like usual? You being so sweet is torture. I don’t deserve any compassion, especially from you.” Her hands reached for my head while I scrubbed her thighs with a washcloth. “Wash me with soap all you want, but it won’t make me clean where it matters.”
That’s all I needed to hear.
Green light. Go.
I stood and stared into her face covered in water with chunks of red hair across a cheek. She looked sad. Repentant. Submissive.
Irresistible.
“Are you sure you want to atone?” I grabbed up her hair harder than before. “My filthy . . . naughty, Gingersnap, do you need to be punished?”
Even with the fucked-up situation we were in, it was how we were wired and it seemed that hadn’t changed.
“Yes, Sir . . . forgive me, Crucifix, for I have sinned against you enough to last ten lifetimes.”
My cock throbbed hard as I spun her around to face the wall. She still had marks from the last night and my finger ran down one that was extra red. It looked beautiful against her pale skin.
“Well, you’ll make it up to me in this lifetime.” I reached around and grabbed her throat hard. “Don’t worry . . . I’ll give you lots of chances to prove how sorry you are. You can confess every one of those fuckin’ sins to me forever.”
I meant it. She was gonna be mine—in my possession—until the day she died. I knew I was skatin’ on thin ice and couldn’t ask the man upstairs for anything, but I hoped it’d be when we were old and dusty.
She didn’t have a chance to respond before I thrust forward and held her against the shower wall. My hands were slippin’ all over her wet body and one slid down between her thighs. When my fingers got to her pussy, I spread her lips open and pushed my cock against her ass. Like the first time. I wasn’t makin’ love to her, it wasn’t in me, but it was the closest thing either of us would ever want.
“Are you ready to pay the price whenever I want?” I turned her to face me and looked hard into those blue eyes. “Make your vows to me, Fi . . . to Crucifix . . . like you should’ve to Giovanni. Like I couldn’t let you. I’ll make sure you keep ‘em too.”
In a New York second, I had her off the ground, against the wall, and impaled on my cock. She felt amazing and even though it was shower sex, her pussy was still wet. I bounced her slowly at first and kept rampin’ up until I was goin’ full throttle into her.
“Take the most important vows you’ve ever taken in your life, Fi . . .” She let out a shrill cry as I slammed in.
“Vow to stop fuckin’ with my heart . . . vow to never go back to that place or leave me again . . . vow to serve only me where you’ll be safe!” I was pullin’ her down as hard as I could and her legs were slippin’ and tryin’ to hook around my back. My own words played through my head. Serve only me. I meant it. I will Master her forever. “Vow to take your punishment and tell me all your sins. You know how much I get off on that part.”
She was cryin’ as she always did, but the tears seemed somehow more like the real deal. One day, maybe, she’d feel clean enough, but it would take a long fuckin’ time just like it’d taken us a long time to get to where we were at that moment.
“Do you also vow . . . and this’ll be the hardest pill to swallow . . .”
I rammed up and was as brutal as I could be with my cock. That sweet pussy was wrappin’ me and the noises she was makin’ through the tears let me know it wouldn’t take long before she came all over me. She started to pant hard and it got faster in time with my thrusts. I could almost tell the second it started and I didn’t let up until I knew she was done. I stopped movin’ and held her against the tile wall. I took one of her nipples in my teeth and gave just enough pressure to make her squeal.
“Do you vow to also take my forgiveness?” I let her down slowly and had my hand back in her hair, pulling until she was on her toes. My cock was thumpin’ and ready.“Huh? Kiss that cross, take your vows, and swallow every drop of our perfectly unholy communion!”
She dropped to her knees at my feet and kissed the cross tattoo above my poundin’ cock. Then her eyes cut up to me and she smiled.
“I vow to be in service to you forever, Crucifix . . . please, I beg you to let me one day earn your forgiveness.”
With that, everything else was implied. I pressed into her body and she was stuck between the wall and my cock bein�
� thrust into her mouth. With visions of all the shit we’d do in the future—the punishments, pleasure, and finally havin’ her on the back of my bike wearin’ my property patch—I fucked her face until I came down her throat. I heard her gaggin’ and pulled back.
“I love you, ya sinful slut . . . I know you’re gonna stay that way and make me one happy motherfucker!” I helped her up and realized the water had gotten cold while we were in there. It didn’t register in the heat of shit, but it was like ice. “Let’s get ya dressed. Not the best outfit, but other than havin’ a property patch on your back, my clothes will do the trick. All those crazy Bastards will know exactly who you are and who you belong to.”
Everyone was finally gonna meet my nun.
My Fi.
My ol’ lady—Gingersnap.
23
Three months later
Snaps still wasn’t comfortable in biker chick gear, but wore it proudly. Her life had been flipped upside down worse than mine. I’d had so many years to adjust filled with some of the ugliest shit you could imagine. The biggest thing to change after that night was finally havin’ her stay—not walk out the door, not leave my bed, not go back to them.
Jeans and boots were small fries next to the rest of it. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been in the Mounds before. She’d been there plenty when it was closed and all the glitter had settled onto the stage for the night. Comin’ from a convent into a place like that when it was overflowin’ with strippers and the girls who did all the special favors was like another world. She went from a life of nuns into a world where she was eyeballs deep in perfume, glitter, and platform shoes. She’d spent a life in vowed poverty and was thrust into a world that was all about greed. The girls at the bar were all really cool with her; she was like the pet nun to some of ‘em. Kinda hard to shake bein’ the new kid on the block when you’re the shiny new toy and the boss’ ol’ lady. I had to give the girls credit for respectin’ what I had with her and not throwin’ themselves at me—even Rock Candy had been on perfect behavior. Still, the change was massive for her.
I was grateful for Lexi takin’ Gingersnap under her wing with the ol’ ladies. That coulda gone a lot of directions, but Lex kept things straight so I didn’t have to start rollin’ heads.
It also took some time to get her used to bein’ on the back of the bike, but some long rides upstate in the country helped a lot with that. She prayed a lot for a while when I took her out, then she just did it when we got on and off.
I had to hand it to her for conquerin’ all the new shit life with me was throwin’ at her. The more she did, the more I realized how much she loved me. Only love could make someone crazy enough to let themselves be put in my world on purpose. We still hadn’t conquered Brooklyn—she didn’t wanna go there and I couldn’t blame her a bit. The bridge was another thing, but not as hard as the borough itself. Between Lex and I, we convinced her to go for the big day. We were officially gonna have Brooklyn, and Redhook was throwin’ a party for us.
Things had gone much smoother than expected, and without Rattler to stink up the place, Redhook was happier. After everything that went down, the guys all had some light-bulb moments. Turns out that Rattler had been MIA a lot, but he was a piece of shit and people were just happy when he was gone. They also said he’d been flashin’ more money than usual and they’d even checked into the club’s money and the stuff with Five Point—his hands were clean with that shit. It was clear that he’d been in the deep pockets of the Catholic Church. Greedy, evil bastard!
When we pulled into the parking lot of what would be the Rotten Apple Chapter-Brooklyn, I squeezed her knee as I got off the bike.
“See, you made it . . . we’re takin’ back Brooklyn . . . you and me. The Bastards are gonna have the territory, but beyond the club, we aren’t gonna let them motherfuckers in that convent or any other church keep us out. Ya got that?”
I took off her helmet and she smiled at me. “Are you kidding? I can do this. I’m with you, aren’t I? No one can touch me.”
There was a little bit of bullshit wrapped up in her words, but she seemed pretty relaxed and definitely happy.
Lexi got off the bike and threw an arm around her. “Come on, sis . . . you got this . . . we got this! It’s a big day, so smile, smile, smile that pretty smile!”
We went into the meeting and Lex took Gingersnap off with the other ladies to do whatever it is ladies do when they’re alone. I don’t ask no questions on that shit. With women, ya just never know, and if it was somethin’ I needed to know, one of ‘em would tell me.
The meeting was mostly for formalities and since we’d discussed it so much, it was done with a handshake and no paper trail. Redhook’s guys all knew the deal and none of ‘em had bailed on the club and becomin’ Bastards. FOCUS was goin’ and there was nothin’ we could do about it, but I knew he’d be there with company if I needed him. We agreed to take care of the money through him since he’d be up Redhook’s ass in Florida. The Bishop was our backer in Royal Bastards Video and anything financial would go through him without raisin’ any red flags. It was everything we’d hoped for. Brooklyn was officially ours, which meant all of New York City was ours.
When the meeting broke, I pulled Lex aside and told her to take Gingersnap with her to get somethin’ from the saddlebags for me. A couple of the other ladies were already over there sifttin’ around for their shit.
“Yeah, it’s kinda small, but ya can’t miss it.”
I watched them walk off and felt really proud of how far she’d come in such a short time and the friendship with Lex was somethin’ I could really see bein’ something beyond club sisters. It made me happy and was just one more reason to believe Gingersnap was gonna stick around.
There was a loud squeal and I did a half-sprint to where the girls were standin’.
“Crucifix! There’s somethin’ in my ol’ man’s bike and I’m sure it’s not mine. It better belong to you or your ol’ lady!”
It was hard to hold in the smile, but I got to my bike and nudged Gingersnap in the arm. “Baby, did you leave somethin’ in the wrong bag or somethin’? Go check.”
Lexi pushed her forward and they walked over together. There was squeal from a different girl.
“Well, how do ya like them apples? Crucifix, are you leavin’ your shit all over the place these days or what?” She was Hazard’s ride-along of the moment and had a brash Jersey girl accent. “Ya got stuff over here, over there . . . what’s the deal?”
Lex looked into the first girl’s bag and pulled out a leather vest. “Hey, Snaps, is this yours? I’m wearin’ mine.”
Gingersnap shook her head and shrugged. “No. I don’t have one. You know that.”
Lex unwrapped it and gave it a good once-over. “Nah, Gingersnap, this can only be yours . . . see, look what it says.”
Gingersnap took the vest Lexi was thrustin’ at her and saw the road name patch and then flipped it over and started laughin’. “Oh, my God! It says ‘property of Crucifix’! Seriously? Is this mine?”
“I dunno . . . last time I checked I didn’t have another ol’ lady, but if any of you ladies know somethin’ different, lemme know.” Fi came over and threw her arms around me as I sat on the bike.
Lexi went over to Magic’s bike and called Gingersnap over. “Are you excited? I got ya somethin’ to go on it!”
The girls stood by the bike and Snaps was given a set of cool vest extenders and a keychain like the cross on my tank and another like a gingerbread cookie to hang off her new leather. She ran back around to me and stopped dead in her tracks.
“What in the world are you up to, Crucifix? That cannot even be mine.”
I laughed. “I woulda gotten you a dog, but do ya know how much of a bitch it’d be to walk one in the City?” I scratched under the chin of the fluffy black kitten on my lap. “If ya don’t like him . . . I mean, I could take him back. Poor guy was an orphan like us.”
“Oh. My. God! I love him!” She was giddy whe
n she grabbed the kitten gently out of my hands and kissed its nose. “I’ve never had a pet before. You know how they were there. I can’t believe he’s mine.”
“He’s all yours, baby . . . look at his collar, you’ll see.” My heart was as full as it’d ever been in my life.
She ran her fingers around, lookin’ for the red collar the girls had picked out for him. If they hadn’t been makin’ such a great distraction for me, I woulda never been able to surprise her like that. I owed ‘em big time.
One.
Two.
Three.
“Crucifix . . . umm . . . I’m confused. He’s not wearing a collar.” She was bouncin’ nervously in her boots and I pulled it outta my pocket and handed it to her. “Oh, sorry, babe. I forgot to put it on him. Check it out, though. See, he’s yours.”
I pulled her between my legs as she fiddled with the collar and the kitten. She started to do a little jump dance type thing, and Lexi grabbed the kitten out of her hands.
“Is this . . . really?”
“Really.” I took back the collar, unbuckled it, and switched spots with her so she was sittin’ on the bike. Then I knelt down. “Fiona Katherine Farrell . . . will you finally marry me or what? Talk about a serious vow . . . the only one you’ll ever have to keep. It says it all if you say that one little word . . . yes. I’ll never walk away from you again.”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” She wiggled on the seat and laughed. “Oh, my God Crucifix!”
I grabbed her hand and slid the ring onto the finger of her left hand. Suddenly, the crowd of brothers and sisters who’d gathered behind us started clappin’.
“I told you we were takin’ back Brooklyn . . . it’s our place from here on out!” I stood up and grabbed the vest. “Now, ya gotta officially be my property . . . I mean, since you’re my fiancé and all.”
When I wrapped the vest around her shoulders, I saw tears in her eyes. For the first time, she was cryin’ for a good reason and I was a happy motherfucker.