by TL Reeve
On the other hand, she wasn’t a circus tiger. She didn’t play for the masses. She had her reasons for not letting anyone in. Suān ní was the first person she allowed to see her naked, the cloak of her emotions stripped away, exposing all her scars and shame. What if she did the same with Grainger and he hated her more than he presently did? What if when it came down to receiving the answers she sought about her family, it only reinforced what he thought about her? What if, he hated her even more?
She glanced at her watch again. Four hours? No way. It had to be longer. When she rolled to her side, she groaned. Not only were her clothes damp from the grass, but her muscles were super sore and stiff. Her neck cracked when she twisted it from side to side, and a sigh of relief passed her lips.
Grainger cut his eyes toward her. “What now?”
She curled her lip. “You make it seem like I've been talking the whole time. This is the first I've made a peep, lord, and master.”
“Easy,” Abraham whispered. “If you need a moment, we can bug out, stretch your legs and catch a breather.”
She shook her head. Then pointed toward their target. “More important.” Going in would have been better, though she didn’t voice it at the time. Sometimes being on the inside exposed more of the operation than staring out after it. “How long are we supposed to do this for, anyway.”
“We’re here to get a lay of the land. See how many people come and go. License plate numbers…”
She yawned. “Bored.”
“Too bad.” Grainger passed the binoculars to Warren. “Our mission is to watch and report back.”
“And another shifter loses their life. Good plan. I say we break for the night and come back tomorrow when we can smell the fresh kill.” Her lip curled as she spoke. Staying in one spot could also get them killed. If anyone came by, they’d see their imprint in the grass and would be waiting for them to come.
It was suicide.
“Ah shit,” Abraham muttered. “Have you ever done any team-building skills, Fallon?”
She snapped her head toward the other vampire in their group. “I failed the trust fall.”
“Seriously?” Disdain dripped from Grainger’s voice.
She gave a nonchalant lift of her shoulder. “Can’t help it, people take too long. I’ve got things to do.”
“Cold-blooded.” Warren grinned. “I think we underestimated you.”
“I’m small and unassuming. I get it and don’t hold it against you.” She winked.
“This was a horrible idea.” Grainger’s lip curled as he turned away from her
“Hey,” she whined. “I caught her, like an inch from the ground.” She curled fingers into claws. “Tiger blood.”
Grainger sighed, completely exasperated by her. “I thought you said you failed.”
“I did. She uh, she kind of hit her ankle on a rock and cracked it. Her ankle, not the rock.” She wrinkled her nose. “Who does a trust fall by rocks.” She then pointed at him. “Better yet; what’s the point of dropping two-stories to a group of people who are supposed to catch you? Makes no sense.”
“Give me strength.” Grainger rubbed his forehead.
“I’ll take her for another walk,” Abraham stated.
“Now I’m a pet? As if.”
Abraham stood then held out his hand. “Come on, you can tell me what it’s like to be known as the ambiguous trust camper.” The corner of his mouth kicked up.
“It’s pretty sanitary.” She stood, wiping her hands on her jeans. “People give you a wide birth. Like, don’t talk to you.” She winced. Maybe her actions did keep people at bay.
“Well, I trust you,” he held his hand out to her. “Come on, we’ll go for a walk. Learn about each other. We are supposed to be in a relationship after all.
“Won’t your boyfriend get jealous?” She hooked her thumb over her shoulder at Warren.
“Nope. He’s not the jealous type and we’re blood partners as well.”
Warren blew a kiss at them. “Take care of the precious, Shnookums.”
“Oh dear,” she whispered. “You’re one of those couples.”
“What do you mean?”
“You love each other.” She almost added the 'ew,' but held off.
“We do,” Warren replied. “Be careful.”
Interesting.
They traveled along the lane they'd taken to the clearing. With darkness settled over the area, it took on a creepier quality. Though she picked on them, she also envied them. Yes, she had Suān ní as her bonded mate, but it was different. It was almost like an arranged mating, in a way. They were friends first, then they became lovers second. They had trust between them. How did Fallon learn to trust them when all she had was gone, leaving her with a brother who didn't talk to her much? Or when he did talk to her, he treated her like the enemy.
She stared up at him for a second, questions running through her brain as they continued to where they'd parked their vehicle. What would it be like to have loyalty or to be loyal to someone? A part of her wanted whatever Warren and Abraham had. Another part told her she already had it if she'd open her eyes. Her thoughts circled on themselves as they strode through the wooded area. Why was this all so hard?
“I never really got a chance to say I’m sorry,” Abraham hedged as they got to the fence line.
“For?” His statement caught her off guard. What did he have to be sorry about? Shouldn’t it be her apologizing for being such a bitch to them? Or for being hard to work with?
“Your parents. I can’t imagine what you must feel day in and day out. I don’t know what I’d do without mine—as whacky as they are.” He squeezed her hand, then without another word, pulled her into a bear hug. He squished her, yet it couldn’t be tight enough. She was secure in his arms. Safe.
She inhaled and the knots constricting her unfurled. She hummed as some of the weight holding her down slipped away. “You did nothing wrong. You don’t have to apologize. I should be the one apologizing to you. I’ve been such a bitch.”
“You’re right,” he said. “However, my apology stands. You’re also hell-bent on doing something dangerous. I realize you won’t tell me or us…yet. But, I want you to understand, we will help you.”
Fallon stared into his light-green eyes. He was unguarded, allowing her a glimpse of his true feelings. It surprised her. Shook her. No one exposed themselves so deeply to her before. Her parents forbade it. Her friend, Calli, didn't show herself as much as the persona she'd built. Everyone played a character in her life, never themselves. Until that moment, she hadn’t realized how sterile her life was.
“You have pretty eyes,” she blurted. “I mean I—”
“So do you,” he stated. “I like the shape of them. They give you a mysterious vibe. Almost like you can hide in plain sight.” He leaned into her, lowering his voice. “Don’t hide from us. We’ll always catch you when you fall.”
Her breath hitched and her heart pounded as he placed a kiss to her pulse point. “W-why did you…” She touched the area where his lips had been pressed to her skin. Her tiger purred going belly up, as though waiting for him to give her a tummy rub. Ain’t happening, hussy. “I mean, I have... There was this thing and I—”
“You need a little compassion in your life, Fú.” He held up his hand when she opened her mouth to protest. “Your name is Fú zé, it’s a beautiful name. I like it more than Fallon. Fú is someone, I believe, can take on the world without hiding.”
Heat filled her cheeks. A rumbled built in her chest and she coughed to cover it. “Uh, thanks. But, you have a guy.”
“I have a blood partner I have a bond with, and I love, but it doesn't mean my heart or our lives aren't big enough to claim you as well. Besides, don’t you have a bonded as well?” Abraham cocked a brow as a knowing grin floated across his lush mouth.
“More than ever, I’m convinced you’re insane.” She crossed her arms.
“Avoiding a question isn't a no.” He leaned in again, his
lips brushed the shell of her ear. “We heard you, Warren and me. Then we saw you with Grainger. I can't get the image out of my head.”
Fallon swallowed hard. “Y-you heard us?”
Abraham chuckled. “Yes.”
“A-and you still want me? How?” Sure, Suān ní explained it to her. It seemed natural when he explained being in a poly relationship, but in practical terms wouldn’t someone get jealous? Wouldn’t someone act out? If she were honest with herself about what happened earlier, wasn’t that what Grainger did—act out?
“Yes.”
“You’re all crazy. Insane even. How can you want me? I’m the bad guy. The irredeemable.”
“You’re none of those things,” Abraham murmured.
“You’re so confusing and infuriating.”
He laughed. “Being a vampire can do that to you.”
“Why don’t you try to compel me?” She stared up at him. “You and Grainger can make me do whatever you want. Wouldn’t it be easier for you—all of you to make me compliant.”
“I’m not sure I can or want to.” He shrugged. “Do you feel anything when I stare at you?”
She did. More so when he wrapped her in his arms. “Safe. Your hug. I couldn’t get enough of it. You could have held me tighter. Cut off the ability to see around me, and I’d have felt a thousand times better.”
“So, my touch affects you, interesting,” he stated. “Did you know the first threads of trust are formed when a mother clutches her child and whispers their first words of love?”
“Whoa, so what are you? A psychology student too?” She quirked a brow, biting back a smile.
“As a vampire, I’ve learned about many things.” He leaned in once more. “May I?”
“What?” She didn’t understand what he sought permission for.
“I’m going to kiss you now, Fú. I think it’s time.”
“Serious?” She placed her hand on his chest. “Here, now? In the open?”
“Yes. Here, under the stars, away from the crap we have to deal with. We’re supposed to be a couple anyway,” he teased. “Right?”
“So pushy.” Kiss him? Suān ní stayed within her shadow. Would it mean Abraham also kissed her protector? A thrill shot down her spine and she couldn’t be certain it was from her or Suān ní. She glanced up at Abraham and ran her tongue over her bottom lip. Did she remind him her familiar was there? Did she have to tell him? Would Suān ní do it?
“I’ve got you.” Abraham bent his head as he cupped her cheek. The instant comfort there had her sighing in relief. She gave him the briefest of nuzzles before their lips met.
He didn’t rush this meeting of their mouths. Abraham took his time exploring her. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip before pushing forward. Their tongues tangled together, and heat bloomed within her. Fallon wrapped her arms around his neck, sinking into his embrace. She didn’t want the moment to end. Didn’t want to return to what waited for them once they parted and returned to their job.
When he pulled back, she wanted him to return. “Wow.” She touched her lips. The tingle of their kiss remained. She knew she shouldn’t compare the guys to one another, but each was unique and different. Abraham left her craving for more, while Grainger churned up a storm of emotions, and Suān ní created a peacefulness she’d been missing. So, it made her wonder, what would Warren bring? You can’t have them all, she chided herself. She could wish though, right? It wouldn’t hurt anything if she pretended for a while.
“Wow, is right.” He released her then and took her hand. “I’m going to want to kiss you again. A lot.”
Yeah. So, did she.
The sun would be touching the horizon soon and from their precarious perch above the old, abandoned warehouse, they'd have to make a run for the SUV in the clearing in order to protect Abraham and Grainger. They’d gotten very few details from their stakeout except for a couple of van plates and taken a few pictures of the people who came and went from inside. Kalkin would have to enhance the photos so they could get a positive identification on those individuals and, even then, Fallon wasn't sure if it would help. However, with the little bits and pieces they’d cobbled together they’d obtained a schedule for truck arrivals and departures. They also knew how many people came and went from the warehouse.
All and all, they’d done a good night’s work.
Fallon yawned on the way back to the vehicle and her jaw popped. Her eyes were heavy from lack of sleep and as it was, they wouldn’t be home for at least an hour. She supposed being a PRA agent meant work odd hours day and night, no matter the condition. Now, she wished she would have paid more attention during her conditioning lectures from Grainger. Though the sun was coming up, he could stay awake for as long as necessary before falling asleep. Same for Abraham. How it all worked when it came to their vampire genetics, she didn’t know, but if she continued to be an agent, she’d have to increase her stamina.
Fallon climbed into the passenger seat and let her hair down. The constriction of the band in her hair caused her head to hurt. She blamed her tiredness as well as the stress for the ache at her temples. After putting on her seatbelt she curled into the seat and sighed. The soft conversation between Grainger, Warren, and Abraham comforted her as her eyes drooped close. She jerked her eyes back open, knowing full well she should be paying attention to their conversation, but she'd been unable to focus. Instead, she thought about what happened in the field with her and Abraham. The energy between them simmered and crackled between them. There was a new component too, Grainger. The venom they had spewed back and forth between them held a lick of arousal. It tinged everything in red and left her with two options, fuck or fight.
They’d raze each other if she and Grainger had sex. She knew it with every fiber of her being. She also realized if they fought, they’d do the same thing. The embers of passion smoldering between them would only grow until they gave over and broke this deadlock between them. What happened afterward, she couldn’t say. Either way, though, they had to face it or else she feared it would tear the team apart.
She cracked her eyes opened and noticed for the first time the orange line on the horizon had grown considerably and they were still a good distance from their hotel. Yes, the windows of the SUV had been tinted with UVA and UVB blockers, keeping the interior darkened for vampires, but once they arrived at the hotel, Grainger and Abraham would have to get out and walk into their hotel, where there were windows. “We’re going to have to talk about our hours together.”
“Oh?” Grainger glanced over at her. “How’s that?”
“I need my sleep.” She frowned. “So do you. How do you plan on getting out of the vehicle?”
“We have our ways.” He winked at her. “It’s all part of being an agent, Fallon. If we can’t do what you and the humans do, then we shouldn’t be agents. Kalkin has made modifications for vampires. Most of them work and when they do, we compensate. Are you worried about me?”
“Worried about you?” She snorted. “Why would I be worried about you? I was concerned about Abraham.”
Grainger laughed. The rough rumble warmed her, and a small smile tugged at her lips. “I should be jealous, but I can’t say I’m surprised.” He became serious as he stared at her. “I didn’t say it out there, but you did good tonight. I’m proud of you.”
“Before or after we got into an argument?” She popped a brow.
“After, I suppose. I also should have apologized.” He placed his hand on her knee. “You make me out of sorts.”
“Still blaming me, huh?” The corner of her mouth tugged upward. “I could say the same about you, Grainger Wilcox.”
“Touché.”
“What happens now?” She wanted to kick herself for sounding eager.
“I have no idea. I guess we’ll figure it out together.” He grinned.
“Are you ready?” Suān ní stood beside Fallon in the bathroom as she stared at her reflection.
“Not really.” Nervousness wiggled thr
ough her stomach. As soon as she woke from sleep, the sense of dread returned. No amount of arousal or intimacy she shared with her familiar could push away the sense of impending doom, which made absolutely no sense at all. “Do you think if we called my aunt and told her I had food poisoning, she’d believe me?”
He laughed. “No, I do not think she would believe you.”
“Damn it.” She stomped her foot. “I hate feeling this way.”
Suān ní tilted his head. “Which way, mistress?”
“Out of control. Like, if I can’t anticipate the next move my aunt makes, I could end up in a situation I can’t get us out of.”
“Do you truly believe we are incapable of protecting you?”
She winced at his tone. “No. I think you’d shield me as best as you could. However, when it comes to me doing the same for you, I’ll fail like I failed my parents.”
He tipped her chin up and peered down into her eyes. “You have taken the world upon your shoulders, Fú zé. Allow us this one time to carry the weight for you.”
She sighed. “I don’t deserve you. Any of you.”
“You deserve us and more.” Suān ní pressed a kiss to her lips before guiding her out of the bathroom, into the main area of their room where the others waited on her.
Since Warren broke the door trying to get to her, their suite had been upgraded to a bigger room allowing all of them to stay together and the damages would be taken out of all of the paychecks, according to Kalkin. Embarrassment filled her as she thought about the conference call with their boss. She had no excuse for her behavior and even if she did, she doubted Kalkin wanted to hear it.
“You look beautiful,” Warren said, standing when she joined them.