"Oh fuck it." I said and her eyes widened. "We're stuck in a pub. People would kill to be stuck in a pub for lockdown. We'll not go mad, but let's have a few drinks. We can take them out into the beer garden. One more pint won't hurt, I'm sure. We'll just get merry, so as to not need the NHS after doing anything stupid.
She took the drink off me. "I guess if I take all night to drink it, I'll be fine." She stood up, only slightly hobbling. "Let's go enjoy the evening."
And we did. I talked about running the pub and how it had kept me busy, but I told her the truth about how now the lockdown was making me wonder if this was the life I wished to continue living, or whether I wanted to start something else. I ended up confessing my dreams to get a place in the country and run a dog sanctuary. I honestly expected her to laugh at me, but instead she said she'd like to help me there, as being a cleaner wasn't what she wanted to do for the rest of her life.
"Why do you do it?" I asked her. "It's got to be one of the worst jobs I can imagine. The state some of the customers leave the place in."
"I've said before. It sits within my comfort zones. You get used to the grossness, and I get to come and work, and I don't have to laugh and joke with people."
"But you've been fine with me and I was more or less a stranger. I don't think you're so much introverted, as you've lost your confidence."
She shrugged. "Maybe."
"When we get out of this place, I am definitely looking into the dog sanctuary. It might not lead to anything, but I can try."
Rosie made me jump as she laughed so hard, she fell off the lounger. "Whoops." She looked up at me from the floor.
"What's so funny?" I asked, bemused by the woman giggling from the floor.
"You said, it might not lead to anything. Lead, like dog lead." She started giggling again.
"Right, lady. I think we found your alcohol limit. I'm going to make you a coffee."
"No." She protested. "I like it. I like sitting here giggling, it's freeing." She patted the grass at the side of her. "Come sit with me. Come on." She said more demandingly, patting the ground firmer.
I did as instructed. "You're bossy when you're merry."
"You're the bossy one. Boss. Get it?"
I shook my head and groaned. "Jesus. Your jokes are getting worse."
"Knock knock."
I smirked. She was the cutest drunk I'd ever seen.
"Who's there?"
"A Covidiot, because everyone else is inside."
I sniggered myself at that one. "You're fucking adorable." I said, and then I slapped my hand across my mouth.
"Wh- what did you just say?"
I took a deep breath. "Just forget it." My mind was desperately trying to find anything that could sound like 'you're fucking adorable', but of course I'd managed to come up with words that had nothing remotely sensible sounding like them.
"I don't want to forget it. I'm a bit pissed, but I'm not a goldfish. Did you just say I was fucking adorable?"
I hesitated. Brain help me. Come in brain. Please help me. Mayday Mayday code red.
"You're fucking adorable too." She sighed.
"W- what did you just say?" I asked her.
The minx smirked right back at me. "Well, I don't remember, so what did you say and then that might remind me of what I said."
I leaned closer. "I said you were fucking adorable."
"Hmmm, I thought you did. Well I said you're fucking adorable too."
That was enough for me. I lifted her up once more like earlier and I took her all the way upstairs to my bedroom. She wasn't sleepwalking in there this time. No, this time she was here because we both found each other fucking adorable.
Hallelujah!
As I laid her down on the duvet, she looked up at me and I was once again struck by how beautiful she was.
"You're so, so, so, so, fucking adorable." She said laughing, and I realised then that no matter how much I wanted her, she was too wasted to make a sensible decision. So I helped her underneath the sheets, crawled in alongside her and when she turned to me and her lips met mine, I kissed her, softly and gently, until the fight went out of her and she fell asleep.
And then I went downstairs and had another couple of drinks and thought about what had just happened. I played the scenes over and over in my head, especially the soft feeling of her lips against mine. I had a long shower to take care of business and then I crawled into bed looking down at the sleeping angel in my bed and wondering what the morning would bring.
Chapter Six
Rosie
I woke up, remembered I was in Dan's comfy bed and smiled. Gosh, I’d slept so soundly I'd not even woken up to get on his back for a snuggle. Then I remembered why I’d slept so soundly.
"Oh my fucking god." This was becoming a morning declaration.
Dan groaned from the side of me. Once again, I found myself looking down under the duvet. Still wearing the same clothes I had on yesterday, all present and correct. I hadn't slept with him. Memories of the night before came back to me.
Fucking adorable.
Did we really say that, or had I dreamed it while in bed? Sighing, I figured it was much more likely that I had indeed dreamed it all up. Dragging myself out of bed, I headed straight for the shower to rinse off all the old sweat from yesterday and to clear my head.
Then leaving a sleeping Dan in bed, I went in search of some much-needed coffee.
Once that was inside me, along with some toast, I felt tons better. Seeing as it was shopping day, I went and got in my car and drove to the local supermarket to get everything I needed. I decided that I'd make a slap up dinner that night as a thank you to Dan for everything he'd done for me. I'd even grab a bottle of wine and some beers. Even though he had a pub full of them, I wanted to contribute.
The queue for the supermarket reached right to their petrol station. We all had to stand the specified width apart which was indicated by a row of plastic cards tied onto railings. Of course this morning had decided to be dull, and a little chillier than usual, and as I stood there it began to rain. Excellent.
Once inside, there were arrows clearly marked on the floor to follow and I went around looking at both my list and mum's list, getting what I could or a similar substitute and getting more and more stressed at the people who couldn't follow the arrows. Two men tried to come down my aisle and I’d had enough. "You're supposed to follow the arrows." I pointed. They looked down and their expressions changed to ones of wonder. "Oh shit. How did we not see those? Bloody hell, got to follow arrows now. Like being at school isn't it?"
"Well you clearly need to go back because you're not understanding what a two-metre distance is." I laughed as if I was being humorous, but it appeared I was somewhere between supermarket rage and frustration that my mind had dreamed up Dan thinking I was adorable.
"Okay, lady." They said reversing at speed away from me and following the arrow up the next aisle. I realised I'd been so busy telling them off I'd missed something on my shopping list which meant I needed to go down the previous aisle and back up this one. I looked around. There was no one there. Making a beeping noise to amuse myself, I reversed.
At the till I separated my shopping from my mum's and put her four pints of milk on the conveyor along with the other stuff she'd asked me to get. I'd not realised how weird her weekly eating habits were until now. They included four pints of milk, fourteen yoghurts, and two packets of grated cheese. I only hoped the large cucumber she ordered was for a salad.
There were black lines on the floor to mark out where you needed to put your trolley and I'd observed them to the letter. So, when a woman started loading her things onto the end of my conveyor belt I saw she was still a distance away but felt myself get a bit stressed. Then she walked further up to rearrange what she'd put on and breached the two metre distance. What was the fucking point in queuing and doing as advised to get to the till and have someone do this?
"Get back." I screamed. "If you've got coronavirus yo
u've just given it to me, you selfish cow."
The woman jumped back and for a moment I felt sorry for shouting, especially when other people gathered closer to judge her.
"You lot, social distancing." I said to the crowd who were so busy coming to see the commotion that they'd forgotten all about the rules. "And follow the bloody arrows." I shouted for good measure.
The women serving me smiled at me like you would a potential serial killer; like in a 'let's just do this slowly and no one gets hurt' motion. They're usually throwing the items into the packing area faster than the speed of light, but this one makes sure I have time to bag everything. And then she picked up the fourth pint of milk. Fuck, it's three essential items only. I forgot. She hovered on the brink of questioning me. The words on the tip of her tongue. I decided to take the problem out of her hands. "That's supposed to be in my shop behind. Sorry about that." She still looked like she might mention a three item rule, and heaven knows, I was just lecturing people about adherence, so I looked at her with my kindest look. "It's wearing me out having to shop for my mother, as well as myself. If I can't do both the shops together now, I'll have to just come right back in."
"It's fine." She said, because she knew, could read in my tone that if I had to come back in, I was coming back to her, and I was buying everything there was with security tags and no price stickers on it, keyworker or not. "Oh, can you excuse me a moment." I said and leaving the till I went to pick up a couple of packets of tampons. I realised now why I was like a security dog with a whiff of a thief. I was at the time of my cycle where my PMT was in full flow before I was.
I saw the amused smirk on the assistant's face and the look she shared with the woman behind me. I sang 'Let it Go' in my head while I packed the rest of my shopping and then I left the store, thankful that I didn't have to go back in for another week, and even then I might go to the rival supermarket.
My mum's face had me cheering up. I called her just before setting off from the supermarket and her stuff was packed into its own bags. She stood behind the open window as I left the stuff at the other side of her gate.
"Thanks so much, gorgeous."
"I miss you, Mum." I said, feeling a little choked. Fucking hormones were not helping.
"Aw, I miss you too, babe. But I have realised that once this is all over, I really do need you to move out."
My jaw dropped open. "Mum!"
She laughed. "Seriously. I've been FaceTiming Jim, the divorcee on the corner, and believe me when all this time has passed, he's coming over and we won't be coming up for air."
Think about Covid-19 Rosie; anything else but Mum at it.
"Lots to think about when it's over. It certainly gives you time to consider things." I agreed.
"So how are you getting on with Dan?" Mum's face looked innocent when I knew she meant anything but.
"Yeah, okay." I admitted.
"Oh you've not banged him yet? Give him another week in lockdown and he'll be so horny he'd fuck an open can of baked beans."
Once more all this was being played out in front of the seemingly hundreds of people going out for their daily exercise.
"Thanks, Mum. Stay healthy and I'll ring you later."
"Don't ring if you manage to get him to sleep with you. I'll understand, and I'll raise a toast in your honour now you've got me that vodka."
I drove back to Dan's glad that I could focus on the meal I was cooking for later and not my mum's enthusiasm for life.
"Oh shit. Shopping. Of course, it's Wednesday." Dan exclaimed when he met me downstairs. He picked up a couple of the bags.
"Where did you think I'd gone?" I asked him.
"Erm, oh nowhere. I just panicked you might be feeling ill and have gone to the doctors."
I shook my head. "No, I'm absolutely fine, although you should know that I have a bad case of PMT so I'm so sorry if I get snappy."
"Ah, okay. Anything else I need to know about?"
I shook my head. "Not really, although I need at least a week, if not a month before the Asda lets me back in their store. I was enforcing social distancing rules." I explained about my rampage.
"I can't believe you were shouting. You're too a—"
I froze.
"Anti-shouting."
"Anti-shouting? You mean quiet?" I wrinkled my brow at him.
"I couldn't think of the right word. I had too much to drink last night."
"I had the strangest dreams." I admitted.
"Oh yeah?" Now he looked at me with a creased brow.
"Mega strange. I'm not going to tell you cos you'll run away."
"No, go on, tell me." He urged.
"Okay." I said. "You told me I was adorable and I said it back. As if! That's why I don't drink. My mind and body just can't cope."
He was about to say something, but the shopping was defrosting fast in the heat.
"Look, I need to get this shopping away quickly. I'm going to cook us a proper meal tonight okay? My thank you for you letting me stay here."
He smiled. "That sounds amazing. Thank you. Do you need a hand with putting stuff away?"
"No. If you just take a few bags upstairs for me and drop them in the kitchen, I'm going to do some prepping etc. I'm really looking forward to getting stuck in."
"Right, well, I've decided to tidy up and start painting the function room downstairs. Got a mate who's a decorator who has sourced me what I needed and we've just done an exchange from a safe distance. Paint for booze."
"Great. Well if you can get me those bags upstairs, we can get on and work up an appetite." I said.
"Yeah." Dan seemed to groan the words out. Those bags were heavy though. Lots of tinned goods.
I'd decided on prawn cocktails, chicken chasseur, and then school cake with custard. It could all be done in advance and so I spent the next few hours happily cooking away; just breaking off to make a quick ham sandwich. I made Dan one too, but when I knocked on the door, he just asked me to leave everything outside.
It was half past four before he went to grab a shower, ready for that evening's update.
Each update was sobering. So many people dying, and now it no longer seemed confined to the elderly or people with underlying conditions. If there was ever a time where you were reminded that life was short and you needed to grab it by the balls it was now.
I decided that that evening I was going to grab life by the balls. Or at least try to fondle a pair. Even if I had to spend the rest of isolation mortifyingly embarrassed because I’d been rejected, I was going for it. Probably, with the help of a glass of red, because it was possible that I was wasting an opportunity of a chance at a new relationship or at least a truck load of sex.
But Dan probably doesn't like you that way. My inner voice annoyingly began to strip away my confidence.
By the time the news was over I'd basically talked myself out of it.
Chapter Seven
Dan
"Dinner is nearly ready." Rosie said to me brightly.
Seeing as you've gone to so much effort for the both of us." I replied. "Why don't we get dressed up for dinner is if we've gone to a restaurant?"
Rosie's face lit up even brighter. "Oh what a fantastic idea. I have a maxi dress that is a little bit posh for just sitting in the garden. I will put that on and make an effort."
"I'll go do the same." I replied. "I'm sure I've got a nice pair of ironed trousers somewhere."
As I went to get ready a flurry of nerves and excitement hit my stomach. Rosie had made an effort for me and I in turn had made an effort for her. I just hope she appreciated it. No matter what happened this evening—and I had hopes but lowered expectations—the fact remained that Rosie and I got on really well and if nothing else we could make the most of this time and have a nice evening.
I chose a pair of beige chinos, a white shirt, and put on my best aftershave. Then I headed to the kitchen where Rosie waited for me, looking slightly nervous.
"Is everything okay? Nothing i
s burning is it?" I asked as I saw the shake to her hands as she dealt with a saucepan.
"No, no. Everything is fine."
"You look beautiful," I said honestly.
Her eyes met mine and a slow smile crossed her face. "You scrub up quite well yourself, sir."
"I have a surprise for you now, Rosie." I held the kitchen door open. "If you'd like to follow me downstairs, you'll see that I need to show you this before we eat."
Rosie tilted her head and raised a brow, but began to follow me out of the kitchen. Without asking any questions, she followed me down the hall, down the stairs, through the side of the bar that housed a pool table, and through a far door that led to the function room.
I pushed open the door, and then I stepped back, leaving Rosie to take in the results of the task I'd been doing while she'd been cooking. As I heard her surprised gasp, and saw the emotion of surprise but pleasure wash over her face, I knew every bit of the effort had been worth it.
I had cleared the contents of the function room to one side leaving the half of the room nearest to us empty apart from the dining table and two chairs. These I had decorated with party things I'd found leftover. I'd found a pink tablecloth, table confetti, napkins, and two pink chair sashes. I'd set the table for our meal and put a bottle of red, a bottle of white, and a bottle of champagne on the table. The champagne was of course on ice.
"Oh wow, it looks beautiful." Rosie said.
Personally, I thought it looked a little naff, but I'd wanted to make the same kind of effort that Rosie had been doing, and on this hot summer day she had spent most of it slaving away in the kitchen. The least I could do was make sure we had somewhere nice to eat.
"I know it's a bit of a pain in the arse bringing the food up and down the stairs, but I figured it'd be worth it to eat in a nice space." I explained.
"Well I'm not sure my thighs, calves, and sore ankle will forgive you for the extra exercise, bearing in mind they hurt like a bitch after yesterday's run." Rosie laughed. "But I'm sure after a glass of wine or a glass of champagne, I probably won't notice any more."
LOVE IN LOCKDOWN: A Charity Anthology Page 4